The Song in the Stars
by Emmeth Nigh
Summary: As the First Order falls into chaos and the Resistance nears its destruction, the Light allies itself with the Darkness. Each must learn to walk the line or face destruction as an ancient evil rises again to threaten them.
1. Chapter 1: Rey

A/N: Howdy Howdy! It's been a while folks, but I'm back at last. Not only am I posting again, but I did some minor cleaning up of the first 22 chapters (nothing much, but just some font issues and consistency). Hope you all enjoy!

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Rey was in trouble, and she knew it. The agony of minutes before had disappeared as soon as Snoke gasped out his last breath, but it had quickly been replaced by raw terror. Snoke's guards advanced on her, weapons hissing into life. She backed up, lightsaber at the ready, already stretching herself out to reach the Force as Luke taught her.

Behind her, Kylo Ren's saber crackled and spit sparks, spreading an eerie red light through the chamber. She could sense the dark side already humming around him as he used his anger to pull on the Force. Rey followed his example, reaching out with her mind. The Force came as she called, running through her and flowing from her. She was submerged in it, was breathing it in and exhaling it.

Her eyes, closed for just that moment, snapped open only barely in time to see the attack coming in from her left. She staggered under the weight of the blow but managed to stop it with her saber and slip out from under the guard. The weapon in her hands was awkward and unwieldy, unfamiliar with it as she was, but she managed to deflect another blow and decapitate a soldier with the back cut.

"I wish I had my staff," she growled as a guard's chain whip wrapped around her saber.

She could almost imagine the grimacing face behind the awful red helmet. The guard began to pull in the chain, wrapping it around an arm as he dragged her closer and closer. She fought him every step of the way, but before she could get free, he had her by the throat and the pointed end of that infernal whip was less than an inch from her skin.

As she gasped for air Rey called on the Force, pushing against the arm holding the weapon. Even as she focused, she sensed another presence coming up behind her.

 _Another guard,_ the Force told her.

Her vision began to go spotty and her head spun. The glow of the saber filled her eyes with blue light. She had to get free. Allowing her mind to release everything else, she cast about her, searching for the bond that still ran from her to Kylo Ren. The moment she sensed its music, she let her mind run along the path toward his.

 _Ben!_ she called out with her thoughts. _Help me!_

The effect was almost immediate. Tendrils of blue lightning branched across the room, almost blinding her as they reached to touch her captor. She felt the tingle in her skin just before the bolt of electricity struck and sent up a shield around herself. The guard lost his grip on her throat and collapsed to the floor. She didn't hesitate. With a quick thrust, she finished the job and spun to meet her new attacker. To her surprise, she found that the other guard was laid out flat on the floor. She thrust her saber deep into his chest and looked around for Kylo Ren.

She sensed his fury before she laid eyes on him. He stood fast on Snoke's dais, battling five guards at once. The emotion ran so strong in him that the thrum of the darkness filled the room and engulfed every other sound.

 _Be careful Ben,_ she whispered in her mind.

But before she fully formed her thought, she was already running for the fight with her mouth stretched wide in a battle cry. She gave up trying to remember the strokes Luke had taught her and struck out wildly with her saber. One of the guards fell, legs cut from beneath him after a cut that Rey figured had been guided by blind luck. Kylo Ren hardly glanced her way. His lightsaber spat fire in the half-light, holding back two guards with pikes. He was in a deadlock and Rey watched as another guard darted in to finish him.

"Oh no you don't," she said, brandishing her saber and dashing up the stairs behind the man.

Rey had just raised her arm to strike when a blow knocked her to the floor. She scrambled back to her feet as quickly as she went down, but as soon as she did she realized that she'd lost hold of her lightsaber.

Rey swore under her breath, backing away from the guard that had kicked her. The man held two blades and slashed at her neck, trying to get in a cut. Rey thrust out an arm, searching the area for the familiar feel of the Kyber crystal in her saber. To her dismay, she couldn't sense its unique signature.

She was brought painfully back into awareness as one of the blades caught her shoulder and sliced deep. Rey yelped and stumbled backward, clutching at the wound. The guard didn't relent, seeming to gain resolve as Rey's faltered. Left with no other options, she flung out her arms before her and pushed with the Force. The guard went down hard, and one of his knives skittered across the floor until it was out of his reach.

Rey saw her chance. She stretched out her arm and called to the Force again. The knife flew across the room and nestled against her palm. She stared at it for a moment, trying to figure out how a dagger was going to do her any good if she wasn't even able to properly use a saber.

Before she could arrange her fingers around the hilt, the guard was on top of her. The knife flashed toward her stomach. Desperate, she leaped backwards out of reach of the blade. She slashed at the extended arm, but her blade glanced off, squealing against the blood-red armor. She ducked a half-second before the knife rushed over her head.

The guard pushed her backwards, slashing at her face and chest. Rey cried out as a stroke landed, arching across her torso. She shoved the man away again and flung a hand out at her side, looking for her lightsaber. The familiar musical hum of the crystal at its center met her ears and she reached out to it with the Force.

The guard was up again and his arm came down as her weapon reached her open hand. In the space of a breath, she ignited the blade and swung. A startled howl from the guard told her she'd struck true. Armor clattered on the floor as the man's arm fell, limp and useless, to the ground with the knife still clutched in its fingers. Rey didn't hesitate. She leveled the saber at the guard's neck and swung. The blade hissed as it met flesh and the man sank to the floor and lay still. She turned just in time to see Kylo Ren throw off the last of the guards and kill him with a single thrust of his lightsaber. All was suddenly still around them.

They stood staring at each other, panting and shaking from exertion. The dark side still buzzed in Rey's ears as it wrapped around Kylo, but all else was silent. Gradually, even the music of his anger faded and they were left alone in the awful stillness of the chamber.

Rey gazed around her at the smoldering ruin that had once been Snoke's throne room. Bodies were scattered about and even the Supreme Leader himself lay bisected at the foot of his great chair. It took her mind a minute to comprehend what that meant. Kylo Ren walked to the top of the dais and stood, looking down at the body.

"He's dead," he murmured, nudging the body with his booted foot. "The Apprentice has killed the Master, as the Sith did for generations."

Rey got a cold feeling in the pit of her stomach, but the memory of the Resistance fleet came back to her and overshadowed it. Snoke had showed her the beginning of its destruction. Was it completely gone by now? She ran to the observation window and gasped. There were still some transports left.

"The fleet, Ben," she said. "Snoke's gone. There's still time to save them. Your mother lives- I can still hear her song."

Kylo turned to look at her and his eyes held a look of sudden surety. He shook his head and wiped away a trickle of blood that ran from his nose, standing a little taller. His voice became more resolute.

"It's time to let old things die, Rey," he said. "It's time to cut ties. Snoke, Skywalker, the Sith, the Jedi, the Resistance: we have to let it all die away."

Rey stared at him, uncomprehending.

"What do you mean?" she asked, tears of disappointment and anger beginning to sting her eyes. "Don't you want to come back? Don't you want to be free?"

Kylo shook his head again and extended a hand to her.

"I want you to join me," he said. "We could rule together. You could be by my side and I would train you. We would bring a new order to the galaxy."

Rey bit her lip and looked over her shoulder out the window. Another transport ship exploded. She quickly turned to the Force and listened. Leia's song was still there. Poe's still rang through the stars. Finn's song had grown stronger since she'd last sensed him. All of them still lived.

"Rey," came Kylo's voice from behind her, "you're still holding on. You have to let go."

She turned to face him.

"I can't just let them die," she said, tears beginning to run down her cheeks. "They're my family."

"Join me, Rey," Kylo repeated. "We can be family to one another."

Rey just stared at him.

"You killed your father," she said at last, her voice trembling. "You would kill your mother without a second thought. I wouldn't want to be your family."

A muscle in Kylo's cheek twitched as surprise flickered on his face. Rey sensed frustration rising in him.

"If you aren't willing to rule at my side, then at least join me as my apprentice. Allow me to teach you what I know of the Force."

Rey glanced at him to see if he were serious. She had to admit the offer was tempting. Her eyes drifted to the five guards he had bested. She remembered the lightning he'd cast and a sudden desire for the same strength rose in her. Luke taught her next to nothing. Now here was Kylo Ren, offering to teach her anything she wanted to know.

His voice echoed in her mind, bringing back memories of their last connection. When she'd clasped his hand, she'd sensed a power like electric running through her fingers. It pulled at her even now.

 _Please, Rey,_ said Kylo in her mind. _Please._

The thought of her friends held her back. What would they think if they knew she was considering allying herself with Kylo Ren. Would it not be the greatest betrayal since Ben Solo turned to the dark side? But what could she do for her friends now anyway? She was trapped on an enemy ship and she had no way to save them. She was still untrained in the Force and she had failed to bring Kylo Ren back to the light. With the power he offered, maybe she would not fail to defeat him. If she could not save her friends, maybe she could at least avenge them.

"You will teach me everything?"

"Everything."

"You won't hide things from me, as Luke did?"

"Nothing."

"Swear it," she said.

"I swear I will withhold nothing from you that is in my power to give."

Rey watched him with the eyes of a hunted animal. The music of the Force seemed shrill in her ears, yet it pulled at her to accept his offer. She raised her arm, as she had done that night on Ahch-To when the vast distance that separated them had been peeled back and she had seen him face to face. Kylo mirrored the gesture. They stood, almost touching for a long second before Rey finally dropped her hand and her eyes. She wasn't even able to look him in the face as she uttered the most treasonous words that had ever crossed her lips.

"Alright, Kylo," she said. "I'll join you."

As though it heard and rejected what she had to say, the world rocked violently under them. Rey was thrown to the floor. Her head cracked hard against the tile, sending sparks through her vision. Noises faded and darkness edged in from the corners of her vision. She didn't try to fight it. The black waters closed in over her and she sank into them willingly.


	2. Chapter 2: Rey

"Wake up, Rey."

Someone was calling her and shaking her shoulders. She cracked an eye. Kylo Ren's face filled her vision, his dark eyes fierce and sharp. She closed her eyes, not ready to wake and face her promise.

"Come on," Kylo growled, giving her another jostle. "Wake up."

She opened her eyes again to meet his. Alarms blared around them, red lights flashing and an automated voice warning of a hull breach. Blood oozed as the cuts across her stomach and shoulder opened. She couldn't make sense of any of it. Her head ached and she started to fade again, too tired to think.

Kylo let out a frustrated breath through clenched teeth and she felt his fingers on her forehead.

"Wake _up_ Rey," he commanded.

Her mind surged to life as she felt the tug of the Force. She jerked upright, boots scrabbling against the floor to gain purchase on the slippery surface. She wasn't sure if it was her head or something else, but the floor seemed to tilt beneath her.

"What's going on?" she asked.

"The _Raddus_ just jumped to lightspeed."

"What does that have to do with-"

"From less than 100 klicks out," he said, face set.

"What?" Rey breathed.

She couldn't be hearing right. To jump to lightspeed in such close proximity would be a-

"A suicide mission," Kylo said, finishing her thought for her. "Nevertheless, it was effective."

The floor angled down a fraction more and Rey stumbled backwards.

"Let's go," Kylo said, taking her hand. "We have to get to my fighter."

Rey yanked her arm out of his grasp.

"I can get there without you holding onto me," she said.

Kylo blinked in surprise, then shrugged.

"Keep up then," he said.

He started for the door, his long stride cutting through the distance. Rey had to trot to keep up. Her lightsaber thumped against her leg, keeping time with the pulse of the Force around her. Music rang through her mind, a background hum as she jogged through the bright corridors behind Kylo.

Alarms wailed from everywhere at once, deafening her ears. The floor tilted further under her feet and she fell hard against a wall. The wounds in her shoulder and stomach opened further and began to burn. A warm trickle of blood ran down her arm. She grimaced and clapped a hand over the bleeding, wincing as her finger brushed against the open edge of the cut.

"How far is the hangar bay?" she asked.

"Only a few levels down."

"That close?"

The ship lurched beneath them and Kylo lengthened his stride.

"It may be far enough to get us both killed," he said.

They came to a lift and Kylo slapped at the call button. The doors hissed open and they both scrambled in just as a groan echoed through the ship.

"What was that?" she asked.

"Sounded like something bending that shouldn't."

The doors snapped shut and the lift descended. Rey took the opportunity to catch her breath. The wound in her stomach burned every time she breathed too deeply, but she pushed aside the discomfort. Kylo looked like a caged narglatch pacing back and forth in front of the door. He threw an occasional glance over his shoulder at her, almost as if he was making sure she hadn't vanished into thin air.

The lift shuddered under their feet and Rey pushed herself into a corner, grasping at the smooth wall in an attempt to stay on her feet. Kylo staggered before righting himself in time for the doors to open. He swept out of the lift, heading straight for a black TIE fighter on the other side of the hangar bay. Rey peered out the door, the instinct to hide while on a First Order ship still strong.

Stormtroopers ran everywhere, the red flashing lights reflecting on their suits. Rey jumped backward out of sight. She took a deep breath, to calm her mind, and drew on the Force. The comfort of the high music of the light side wrapped around her like a blanket and she stepped out into the open, reaching out to turn curious minds from her presence.

 _Don't notice me,_ she thought. _I'm nobody._

To her surprise, heads turned away as she darted after Kylo. No one stopped her. No one so much as glanced in her direction. She sighed in relief as she ducked under the TIE fighter and dropped her hold on the Force. As she glanced around, she realized Kylo had disappeared.

"Kylo?" she called in her mind, too afraid to say anything aloud.

"Up here," came the reply from above her.

A black gloved hand reached down between the cabin and the wings. She peered up through the fighter to meet Kylo's anxious gaze.

"Grab hold," he said. "I'll pull you up."

Rey shied away from the proffered hand and scrambled up on her own, gritting her teeth against the pain in her shoulder. Kylo opened an access hatch in the top of the ship and swung inside. Rey dropped in behind him, more than happy to disappear from the view of anyone who happened to glance at the fighter. She hissed at the stabbing pain in her stomach as her boots hit the floor of the cabin.

"Blast it to blazes," she gasped, pressing her hand tight against the cut.

Kylo was already in the pilot's seat, flicking switches and gearing up the engines.

"You're going to want to hold onto something," he said.

Rey looked around before latching on to a thick cable running along the wall. She was only just in time. The ship lurched and rose several meters as Kylo pulled on the controls. Rey's shoulder bumped the wall and she let out a low curse.

Kylo jammed the controls forward and the ship shot over the heads of the stormtroopers and out into space. Rey rocked on her feet, struggling to keep her balance as the ship darted around other fleeing vessels. Kylo sat with his eyes glued to the viewport, deftly maneuvering to avoid floating debris.

"Where are we going?" she asked.

"The Ileenium system," he said, never taking his eyes off the glass. "There's a battlecruiser patrolling in the region. It's where we were to go if something like this ever happened."

"You had a plan for this?" Rey asked, incredulous.

"Snoke had a plan for everything," Kylo said. "Even you, if he could have turned you."

Rey couldn't help shuddering.

"What would he have done to me?"

Kylo's shoulders went stiff and she saw his pulse throbbing in his throat.

"You don't want to know that," he said.

She tried to probe at his mind but hit a wall before she got even close. The only thing she could sense was the high whine she'd come to recognize as anxiety.

"Kylo?"

"Don't," he said. "I won't answer that question."

The irritation she tried to push down rose like a storm in her chest.

"You swore you wouldn't hide things from me."

Kylo shook his head.

"I swore I wouldn't hide things about the Force from you. This isn't about the Force."

"Then what is it about?"

Kylo set his jaw and didn't answer. Rey turned her eyes from him and looked through the viewport out into endless space, cold anger swirling through her.

"You're not protecting me by hiding things, you know," she said. "Luke seemed to think that's what he was doing by keeping secrets, and you see how well that turned out."

Kylo's knuckles went white on the controls and the cords stood out in his neck.

"Fine," he snapped. "You want to know what would have happened?"

Rey nodded.

"Snoke would have tortured you within an inch of your life and your sanity," he said. "He would have broken you down until you were rubble and then rebuilt you into something he had use for. If he couldn't do that, he would have killed you. The pain you felt when he forced himself into your mind was nothing. You would have begged for the relief of it by the end."

Rey stared at him. Though he never took his eyes from the glass before him, his hands shook on the controls and sweat ran down his temple. She felt the horror of what he'd said begin to make an impression.

She gripped the cable above her until her fingers blanched, forcing herself to remember that Snoke was dead. She was safe now, or as safe as she could be with a person like Kylo Ren. Anger and fear still curled around him, making her twitchy and nervous as it worked into her own mind from his. Without warning, images flickered through her thoughts. She saw Snoke and arcs of blue lightning flashing again and again. Her nose burned with the smell of electricity and the acrid scent of blood. The last to pass her mind's eye was an image of Snoke's corpse, halved and lying prone on the cold floor.

As suddenly as the images came, they disappeared. Kylo shivered and blinked rapidly, shaking his head as though he was casting away his thoughts. Rey hesitated for a moment, poised to speak. She had the distinct impression what she had seen hadn't been meant for her, but she couldn't help herself.

"Kylo?" she asked, her questions on the edge of her tongue.

His eyes went stone hard, as they had on the cliff on Ahch-To.

"Let the past die, Rey," he said, an echo of his words that night. "Kill it if you have to."

She shut her mouth with a snap and tried to forget the foreign images she'd been given. To distract herself from them, she watched over Kylo's shoulder as he worked the controls, absorbing the way each affected the craft. She couldn't help admiring the elegance and speed of the fighter. For all the wrongs they committed, the First Order certainly commissioned some beautiful ships.

"Hold tight."

"What?" she asked, coming back to reality.

"I said hold tight," Kylo said. "I'm about to make the jump."

Rey watched through the viewport as the white points of starlight stretched into lines as the ship hit light speed. The strange, eerily beautiful music of hyperspace swirled about her and she closed her eyes to listen. Her fear ebbed as the peace of the Force stole over her.

"What are you doing?"

Kylo's voice broke into her thoughts and drew her away from the peace.

"Just listening."

"To what?" he asked.

"Everything," she said, vaguely waving a hand around her.

Kylo's brow knit as he considered her.

"It seemed like you were getting further away."

Rey shrugged, not sure what to make of his words. She could still hear the darkness humming around him no matter how deep in the Force she went. His presence always seemed to be close in her mind, just outside the wall that she'd constructed between them.

"How long until we reach this cruiser?" she asked.

"It's called the _Finalizer_ ," he said. "And half an hour, maybe less."

Rey let go of the cable and sat down, folding her legs beneath her. The wounds in her shoulder and stomach sent up complaints that she did her best to ignore. She'd had worse before. In time, they would heal.

Kylo's hands left the controls and he rubbed his face, letting out a long sigh. His tired eyes found the window again and he sat, staring at the brilliant lights streaking by the glass. Rey studied his drawn features as the starlight flickered over them. Something in her heart that she'd forgotten since her last night on Ahch-To stirred again. She felt pity for the creature before her. He ceased to be a monster in her eyes, shifting into the man he had been long ago- into the man he could perhaps become again.

His dark eyes turned on her and she shifted her gaze away to fix on a metal grate in the wall across from her. She pulled her knees to her chest, making herself as small as possible, and tried not to think of his eyes on her. Her mind drifted back to her friends and she reached out to them. Their songs still rang strong through the Force. She let out a long, slow breath of relief.

Something beeped from the control panel and she flinched.

"We're nearly there," said Kylo, throwing switches.

A second later, the TIE fighter dropped out of hyperspace and Rey saw the smooth curve of D'Qar in the distance. It was strange to see a planet ringed by stone, and she stared out the window as they flew towards it.

Kylo clicked the button of a commlink.

" _Finalizer,_ this is the _Silencer._ Requesting coordinates."

There was a rush of static and then a voice rattling off a set of numbers. Kylo's fingers darted over a keyboard, plugging them into the navigator.

"ETA five minutes."

"Where is it?" Rey asked, craning her neck to find the battlecruiser.

"In the debris field," said Kylo.

He gestured at the ring of rock. Rey squinted, but couldn't make out anything among the clustered stone, so she tried listening. Sure enough, as soon as she touched the Force, she heard hundreds and thousands of songs spring into existence. She tilted her head back and forth, homing in on the direction of the sounds.

"It's over there, isn't it?" she asked, pointing into the distance.

Kylo glanced at her, seemingly surprised.

"Yes, it is."

Rey stood next to Kylo's chair, watching as he maneuvered his fighter around chunks of rock three times the size of the TIE. An unexpected excitement rose in her as they wove through the asteroid belt in a complex dance. She wished her own hands could be on the controls, piloting the craft as Kylo was. She itched to fly a ship again.

The cruiser loomed over them, throwing a shadow across the viewport. Rey could see the hangar bay doors open wide and dozens of other ships darting through. Kylo pressed the button on his comm.

" _Finalizer,_ this is the _Silencer_. Are we clear for final approach?"

"You're clear _Silencer_ ," came the response.

"Be advised _Finalizer_ , I have a guest aboard."

"A…guest, sir?" came the voice after a pause of several seconds.

"You question me trooper?"

"No sir," came the immediate response.

"Good," said Kylo. "I want apartments ready for her on the officers' deck."

" _Her_?"

Rey heard the incredulity in the voice even through the burst of static. She scowled at the commlink.

"Do you have something to say about it, trooper?" Kylo growled into the comm.

"No sir," said the disembodied voice. "Sorry sir."

"What sector am I landing in?"

There was a silence for a moment.

"Sector Y7. It's clear and you're good to go sir."

Kylo switched off the commlink and made a face out the viewport.

"Pack of useless, brain-bolted greenies," he grumbled.

Rey almost smiled at the all-powerful First Order's personnel difficulties, but her amusement faded as they swept into the hangar bay of the _Finalizer_. Somehow, arriving on a First Order ship with Kylo Ren made her promise to be his apprentice real. It had been words before, now she was living it. Now she was tangled in it. The thought of escape flashed across her thoughts. She could steal a ship and go back to Crait. She could go back to her friends where she would be safe.

She watched Kylo out of the corner of her eyes, but he was concentrating on his landing. Her hand went to the saber at her belt. She could kill him now. She could be free of her promise forever and she could free the galaxy from a tyrant. It would be a quick stroke and then it would be over. She tried to imagine killing him in cold blood. Tried to imagine driving her lightsaber through his dark heart.

The memory of his exhausted face filled her thoughts. He had been so unbearably human in that moment, so like herself, that she had forgotten the monster that killed his father. Her fingers slipped from the hilt of her saber. She couldn't kill him. Perhaps in the heat of a battle she could have, but not unaware and unchallenged.

The Force sang in her ears, tugging her. As the _Silencer_ settled gently on the landing deck, Rey made her decision. She would stay and learn the ways of the Force. She knew little of it and it was already determining her steps, so she had little choice but to follow.

What else could she do but learn to trust.


	3. Chapter 3: Rey

"I need to find Hux," muttered Kylo as he pushed open the hatch above them and climbed out.

Rey was right behind him, pulling herself up into the open with her teeth clenched so tight against pain that they creaked. The more she moved, the more she wished she could use a mind trick to make herself forget the wounds. Kylo walked to the edge of the wing, balanced there for a second, and then jumped to the ground. Rey grimaced, knowing she'd have to do the same and dreading the knife it was going to send through her stomach. She hesitated for a second before jumping.

It hurt every bit as much as she was expecting. She crumpled, her arm tucked close against her stomach. Kylo heard her gasp and turned to look over his shoulder. She struggled to her feet as quickly as she could and whipped her hand away from her wound, hiding it in the loose folds of her tunic. Kylo narrowed his eyes and stalked toward her. His hand snatched at her wrist and pulled her arm up to look at it. Rey fought to hold herself still and not wrench her hand away.

"Blood?" he asked.

"Yes," she ground out through her teeth. "Now, let go of me."

His fingers released as if she'd burnt him and he took a step back, crossing his arms. Rey slipped past him, making for a corridor across the hangar bay. She made it only a few steps down the blinding white hall before she felt his fingers on her arm, gripping it tight and turning her to face him. She twisted from his grasp and stared him down.

"What?" she spat.

"Where were you injured?"

"It doesn't matter," Rey said, lifting her chin.

The last thing she wanted was for him to find a weakness. She pulled on the Force, listening as the pitch increased until it nearly vibrated the air around her. She bent the Force toward his mind, willing him to think it didn't matter. Willing him to forget what he'd seen.

"I'm fine," she said.

Kylo didn't look convinced. She heard a low song starting under her own. It rose and fell in pitch, almost as if it were testing the limits of her manipulation. There was a brief moment of dissonance and then an absolute silence that fell between them in the Force.

"Don't try mind tricks on me Rey," Kylo said. "They don't work."

She glared at him.

"I'm _fine_ ," she said, pushing back against his mind with the Force, struggling to hear her song again.

She didn't have to listen for Kylo's emotions to tell he was frustrated.

"You don't have the strength yet, so don't bother wearing yourself out," he said. "It's not going to work."

"Tell that to the stormtroopers that let me out of my cell."

"And just how Force-sensitive do you think they were?"

Rey thought back. She hadn't heard much when she'd listened for their music. Somehow, that was what had pushed her to use the Force.

"Not very," she muttered.

"Exactly," he said. "So answer me: where are you hurt?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"Because you're my apprentice now. It's my job, like it or not, to make sure you're ready to fight."

"I've taken care of myself for as long as I can remember," she hissed. "I don't need your help."

"Yes, you do."

She reached out for the Force again and flinched as it tightened around her. Instead of the comfortable warmth of the Light, this was an unfamiliar, freezing darkness. The music around her was so low she could scarcely hear it. It was as if her anger had come alive and surrounded her. She gasped and dropped her hold on the Force. Kylo raised an eyebrow.

"It feels different than the Light, doesn't it?" he asked.

She nodded, a black fear squeezing her heart. The dark side had come so easily.

"Snoke didn't believe it," Kylo said with a wry smile. "Not like I did."

Rey clenched her shaking hands before her and refused to meet his eyes.

"Didn't believe what?"

"You've got potential, Rey of Jakku."

Rey did her best to swallow her anger.

"Is that why you didn't kill me?" she asked. "Because I had potential?"

"Isn't that why you didn't kill me?" he shot back. "Because you saw a potential for Light?"

Rey didn't say anything. It was the truth, but it brought back memories of Snoke's words.

 _Young fool,_ he'd said, _you were not wise enough to resist the bait._

And she hadn't been. She hadn't been wise enough to see and she hadn't been strong enough to escape the lure.

"You came to me because you believed I could be turned. I let you live for the same reason," Kylo said.

"It doesn't matter."

She shoved ahead of him, wanting more than anything just to get out from under his stare and the memories of her unbearable naivete that were crowding into her mind. Even as she did, she heard the first tendrils of his music stretching toward her and working their slow way across the bond.

"Your shoulder needs treated," Kylo said as she stalked past. "And you need your stomach looked at too. Any deeper and you'd have been dead a long time ago."

Rey didn't even turn around to speak.

"Stop reading my thoughts Kylo," she said. "You have no right."

She walked ahead of him for a few steps before he caught up with her.

"I meant what I said, Rey," he said. "I'm taking you to the med bay."

"Don't you have to go find Hux?" she asked.

"Hux can wait or find me there."

"I've told you, I'm fine," she said. "It's only a little blood and I've dealt with pain before. They'll heal. Give me a med kit and I can stitch myself up."

He studied her for a minute and she felt him probing her thoughts again. On instinct, she threw up a barrier between them. The presence vanished and Kylo winced.

"Keep out of my head," she growled.

"Alright," he said, rubbing his temples. "Thanks for the headache."

"I warned you the first time and you didn't listen."

Kylo Ren opened his mouth to answer but before he could, the sound of boots echoed down the corridor. A few seconds later, a red-haired man flanked by several storm troopers turned the corner. He started backwards when he saw her and the storm troopers raised their blasters.

"How did you escape again?" Hux asked, before his eyes darted to the figure behind her.

Rey took a few steps backward as Kylo moved in front of her.

"She didn't," he said.

"What is the meaning of this, Ren?" Hux said, glancing between them.

Kylo took a deep breath.

"The Supreme Leader is dead," he said. "And Rey has joined the First Order."

Hux's eyes flashed to Rey and she took several more steps back, allowing Kylo to stand between her and the rabid anger in that gaze.

"The girl killed the Supreme Leader and you let her walk free?"

Rey made an involuntary noise of protest. A moment later Kylo's voice drifted through her thoughts.

 _Don't speak. Let him think what he thinks._

"She's not free," Kylo said aloud. "She's under my supervision."

"Why doesn't that comfort me?" Hux said, sarcasm dripping from his voice.

"It should comfort you Hux," Kylo said through his teeth. "Another Force sensitive is an asset to our cause."

"An asset?" he retorted, "She killed the Supreme Leader."

Rey watched as the muscles across Kylo's shoulders went tight. She didn't have to listen to the Force to know he was fighting his anger.

"The Supreme Leader, himself, ordered me to find her and bring her before him."

"And she killed him."

"Before she turned," Kylo said.

"It's too convenient," said Hux, "What if she's a spy."

"Until she proves herself, she will not be privy to our discussions."

"How do you know-"

"Hux," Kylo cut him off, "Though you find them detestable, my powers are not without their benefits. She is not lying."

Hux scowled, but didn't say anything.

"Now," Kylo said, "call the fleet back. We've taken heavy damage and need to regroup."

"What?"

"You heard me Hux. Draw our forces back from Crait."

"You dare command me? My army?"

"Our Supreme Leader is dead," Kylo said. "I was his apprentice in the Force."

It was clear to Rey what Kylo was insinuating. When she looked at Hux, she saw from his murderous expression that it was clear to him too. She glanced to Kylo when she heard the building hum of the dark side and noticed his fingers twitching at his side.

"The Force," Hux mocked. "Where has the mysterious Force gotten us? It has been the might of my army-"

The general's voice cut off with a gasping choke as Kylo's arm raised and his hand started to squeeze. The stormtroopers took a few steps forward before Kylo flicked his eyes toward them.

"You will stand down," he said, waving his free hand in their direction.

"We will stand down," the two replied in a monotone, backing up and lowering their weapons.

"Do you see how easy it would be to kill you, Hux?" he asked, "I wouldn't even have to use a weapon."

The man made a pathetic, gasping croak in reply. Kylo closed his hand a little tighter. Rey shut her eyes, struggling not to listen to the man's fight to breathe.

"You wish to say something?" Kylo asked.

There was a pause.

"Long live the Supreme Leader," came the general's voice, hoarse and strained.

There was a thud as Kylo released him and he crumpled to the floor.

"Now, do as I've instructed."

"Yes, Supreme Leader."

"Don't cross me Hux.," Kylo said, his voice empty and cold, "And if you touch my apprentice, or speak a word against her, I'll do worse than this."

"Yes, Supreme Leader."

Without another word, Kylo turned his back on the prostrate general and strode down the corridor as if nothing had happened.

Rey took a deep breath and followed after him, looking everywhere but at the man her new Master had subdued with a clench of his fist.


	4. Chapter 4: Kylo

A/N: Welcome back everybody! It's been a long week, but here we are.

First off, I wanted to thank everybody who has read, reviewed, favorited, and/or followed- I can't even begin to describe how much it means to me. Secondly, thanks again to FenrisInside for spending an exorbitant amount of time helping me iron out future plot points this week- you rock dude. *waves magic wand* Plot holes begone!

Anyway, I hope y'all like this chapter. Let me know what you think in the reviews, or send me a PM and I'll do my best to get back to you!

P.S.: should also probably put in the disclaimer that I own nothing before Disney hunts me down...

* * *

Kylo stormed through the brightly lit hall toward the med bay and tried to ignore the emotions that wrapped tight around his chest. His fingers itched to seize his lightsaber and strike at something. The strangling fury was familiar, but it wasn't welcome. Everything in him was screaming with a desire to lash out in blind rage, to wreak destruction if for no other reason than to calm the chaos in his head.

Anger was common after dealing with Armitage Hux, but the general had pushed him over the edge of mere anger this time, first by insinuating Kylo had no claim to lead the New Order, and then by mocking the Force. He'd hardly been aware of what he was doing when he pulled on the Force to choke the weaselly little man. In the end, it had been Rey's look of horror that kept Kylo from killing him then and there.

Even as they left Hux lying in the passage behind, he felt her fear. He'd sensed the emotion in her before: every time she'd been near him in body or in bond, she'd been frightened. But it was different this time. The strength she carried had all but disappeared and was replaced with a raw terror.

Though he figured he already knew its source, he tried to probe into her mind again only to be met by the same barrier between them.

"I can tell you're trying to pry," she said. "I've already told you twice to stop."

"You're afraid of me, aren't you?"

"Do I have any reason not to be?" she asked.

Kylo sighed and rubbed a hand over his face, fingers running along the scar over his right eye and down the cheek: the scar Rey had given him.

"I know you feel my anger," he said. "But it's not against you."

"I know very well who you're angry with," she said. "I just wonder when your temper will turn against me."

He didn't say anything at once, but her question rang in his ears. There was only silence for long seconds and he sensed her anxiety growing.

"I can't promise I'll never get angry," he said. "But I will not hurt you in my anger. I swear I won't."

Rey shook her head.

"You can't control yourself Kylo," she said. "You are more slave to the Dark Side than you are master."

She was right, and it pained him to admit it. He could only bring himself to nod before he turned and continued down the hall, anger fading into familiar isolation.

"Keep up," he said.

She didn't reply, but the sound of her footsteps followed him down the corridor. As they neared the med bay, people began to crowd into the hall, all going the same direction. The sense of fear and unease from Rey became stronger the more people entered. Everyone gave Kylo a wide berth, but he didn't think that Rey might have difficulty passing until he felt the spike of her terror and heard an angry:

"Let me go, you…you-"

There was a cry of pain as her Basic cut off, and she began a stream of words in a language he didn't understand.

Kylo turned just in time to see Rey struggling against a stormtrooper that had her by the injured shoulder. She squirmed as the man closed his fingers tighter.

"Let. Me. Go," she said, spitting out each word as a separate sentence.

Kylo was about to intervene when Rey stilled in the man's grasp. He almost smiled as he felt her reaching for the Force and starting to bend it toward the man. He raised his own hand and turned the attention of anyone else away from her.

"You will let me go," Rey said to the stormtrooper.

"I will let you go," intoned the man.

He dropped his arm and walked down the hall on whatever business he'd been on before. Kylo watched his apprentice's shoulders slump forward as the fight left her. A dark patch of blood grew on her tunic and he saw a trickle of red begin to run down her arm.

"Well done," he said.

Rey flinched and glanced at him.

"You could have told him I'm your apprentice," she said.

"I was about to, but you beat me to it."

"Is everyone going to assume I'm an escaped prisoner?"

He shrugged.

"Probably for a while. I'll have a message sent out."

"I'd be grateful," she said.

They walked in silence for a few minutes before Kylo's curiosity got the better of him.

"What language was that?" he asked. "I didn't recognize it."

His own relief mirrored the emotion that seeped through from Rey's side of the bond. At last, he'd hit on a safe subject.

"Teedospeak."

"Haven't heard it."

"That's because you weren't ever a scavenger on a Force-forsaken desert planet one step removed from nowhere."

"Fair enough," he said with a half-smile. "Can you speak Bocce?"

Rey shrugged before speaking a few sentences. Kylo replied with the corresponding phrases. The words were familiar on his tongue, but they tasted bitter. Guilt burned in him.

"Where did you learn that?" he asked.

"I picked up a bit from the traders that stopped on Jakku. The rest I learned from Ha-"

Her face drained of color and she stopped in the middle of her sentence. He felt her emotions twist into sadness and anger.

"The rest you learned from Han Solo," he said, finishing her thought for her. "I know. He taught me too."

Rey gave a stiff nod but didn't say anything else as they entered the med bay. Her convoluted mix of emotions followed her like a black storm cloud. Kylo felt his own anger rise up in his chest. They'd been so close to a normal conversation, and once again, he'd messed up. He let out an annoyed breath, glancing around him at the chaos, and signaled a med droid while he carefully avoided Rey's glare.

"How may I assist you?" chirped the droid as it walked up.

"Electro plasma burns," Kylo said. "Shoulder and stomach."

The droid clicked as it ran through stored information then gave a short beep.

"Follow me please," it said.

Kylo put a gentle hand on Rey's uninjured shoulder and guided her forward.

"Go on," he said.

Rey's anxiety spiked as he touched her and she threw off his hand, walking after the droid on her own. Kylo's stomach twisted a little when he saw the way she held her spine straight even as her fear swirled around her. He'd seen what her life had been before when he searched her mind to find the map. He'd seen her fears and weakness and Snoke had played them to their fullest advantage to lure her in and destroy her. The screams of pain she'd let out as the Supreme Leader pried into her mind still echoed in his mind and unsettled him. Snoke's had been the one life that Kylo had not questioned taking.

Rey disappeared behind a partition and he found that he was at a loss. With nothing more pressing to do while he waited, he found a wall and sat down cross-legged with his back against it. His eyes closed of their own accord and he drifted between sleep and waking for a long time as the buzz of many voices drifted around him.

His eyes snapped open, but he instinctively knew he wasn't awake in the natural sense. Rey was sitting across from him on an exam table, patiently waiting as a droid applied a silvery mesh over the wound that arched across her stomach. Her eyes came up and she gasped, scooting backward on the table.

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm not," he said.

She cocked her head in her strange way, then sighed.

"No, you're not, are you."

"I thought this would stop after I killed Snoke."

"So did I," she said.

The droid finished placing the mesh in her wound and covered it with a bacta patch. Rey winced, but kept still. The med droid moved on to her shoulder and began to peel back the sleeve of her tunic. Rey sucked in a breath and squeezed her eyes shut.

On instinct, Kylo stretched out his hand toward her, meaning to take hers as he had done when she was halfway across the galaxy. But as he reached for her, she disappeared. He came back to reality standing next to the wall, grasping at empty space, desperate to hold onto her presence. A passing stormtrooper gave him a curious look but didn't stop to ask.

Kylo stood still, trying to cling to the fading sensation of calm that always pervaded his connections with Rey. As it always did, it disappeared as Rey herself had done, leaving him stranded in a familiar storm of conflicting emotions and fear. Above all, there was always fear.

The chaos of the med bay only compounded the chaos in his head. His fingers curled around the hilt of his lightsaber as his frustration and anger surged up from nowhere. He was on the verge of igniting it and striking out at the closest med droid when Rey appeared from behind the wall. When she saw his drawn saber she backed up, almost running into the droid that followed her from the room, and reached for her own weapon.

He froze as she studied him for a moment and closed her eyes. He saw her before him but as he sensed the Force surrounding her she seemed to grow distant- moving far away to a place he could not reach. He reached out with his mind, searching for their bond.

 _Rey?_ he called.

No words came to him, but the storm in his mind eased as a strange emotion filled him. Rey opened her eyes and met his.

"What did you do?" he asked.

She lifted a shoulder in a lopsided shrug.

"I'm not really sure."

He returned his lightsaber to its sheath and took a deep breath. The world around him seemed less overwhelming, somehow, now that she was with him. He glanced at the bacta patches covering her wounds.

"How do you feel?"

"Fine," she said.

He sensed it was the only answer he was going to get from her. Her eyes stared past him and he noticed, for the first time, the dark half-moons beneath them that bore testament to her lack of sleep.

"How long has it been since you slept?"

"I don't know," she said. "A day, maybe more. Why do you care?"

"Because if I'm going to train you, you need to be alert."

"I am alert," she protested.

Kylo struck out with his hand, stopping it a hairsbreadth from her forehead. Rey flinched, but her hand was slow in coming up to knock him away.

"You need rest."

"You need to shove off."

"Rey, be reasonable."

"This is as reasonable as I get," she said, mixed annoyance and fear radiating from her.

Kylo let out an exasperated sigh.

"Look," he said, "I've got to go figure out how to get the government back in some semblance of order. You can't come with me, so I'm taking you to your apartments. What you do in them is your business, but I'd recommend that you sleep."

"And what if I don't?"

"Then I won't train you," he said. "You're the only one with something to lose in this situation."

She crossed her arms and scowled at him.

"Are you always so stubborn?" he asked.

"Of all the people in this galaxy, you ought to know just how stubborn I can be Kylo Ren."

He did know. The only reason she was here was because she stubbornly clung to the belief that he could be saved. It was an endearing quality when he didn't have to argue with her to sleep. He turned his back and motioned for her to follow.

He made it several steps before he realized that she hadn't moved. He stopped and turned around. She stood in the middle of the med bay, looking like a lost child as people shoved past from all directions. Still, she stubbornly refused to look at him.

"Rey, please," he said.

She shook her head, her fear still strong enough to bleed through the bond.

"I'll leave you here," he said.

Her eyes darted up to see if he were serious. When she saw that he was, her shoulders sagged a little and she gave in. He felt a smile twitching the corners of his mouth as she dragged her feet across the floor. He could just remember doing something like that as a little boy when his mother called him inside for dinner.

His mother.

A wave of sadness rolled over him. He could still feel the warmth of her presence in the Force. Crait was many millions of miles away, yet he knew his mother walked the surface of the salt planet he'd left behind. He could go to her now. He could find an excuse to give Hux to meet with the leader of the Resistance. He'd be willing to do it if only to see her face. She'd never been able to give up hope that he would return to her. But he couldn't face her. Not after everything. Not after Han.

He sighed, rubbing a hand over his tired eyes.

So much for killing the past.


	5. Chapter 5: Kylo

Hi everyone! Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas!

This week's chapter is a bit shorter, but there are longer chapters in the near future, so hold tight! Thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed- when you're someone who writes mostly for themselves, it's strange to find out that people are actually willing to read your stories haha!

Leave a review and let me know what you think! I'd love to hear your opinions on Rey or on Kylo or anything in the story you have an opinion about!

* * *

"These are your apartments."

Rey stood next to him, staring up at the door and looking about as uncertain as he'd ever seen her. Kylo reached across to the access pad and scanned his palm. The door opened with a rush of air and Rey peered through the entryway.

"This is mine?" she asked.

"Yes. As long as we're on this ship."

"But there's so much room."

"These are fairly standard quarters," he said.

Rey crept into the room and looked around her. It was strange to see her examining her new surroundings: peering into cupboards and around doorways. Her face registered surprise when she saw the bedroom.

"Who in the galaxy needs this much space?" she asked nobody in particular.

Kylo watched her take it all in with something like amusement. He had to fight down a laugh when she found the refresher. There was silence for a minute before he heard the rush of a shower activating and Rey's surprised squawk. A second later she marched out of the room, half drenched, leaving puddles of water behind her.

"I figured out the shower." she said, wringing out her hair.

"I'll have some clean clothes sent up." he said, the effort to keep a straight face straining his voice. "I've got to go, but I'll look in on you in a while and see how you're doing."

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"Wherever they need me," he said. "So probably just about everywhere."

"Oh."

She sounded almost disappointed.

"If you need me, just call out," he said, tapping the side of his head.

"Can anyone get in here?" she asked, throwing a glance behind him at the door.

"Only me. You can code your palm to the sensor whenever you want."

"Can I take yours off?"

So much for her being disappointed.

"Whenever you want." he said.

She nodded and squeezed water from her tunic.

"Training tomorrow?" she asked.

"Only if you sleep."

She rolled her eyes and turned to look at an empty bowl on the kitchen table.

"Is there anything to eat on this ship?" she asked.

"I'll send something up with the clothes." he said. "Is there anything else you need?"

Rey shook her head.

"Good." he said. "Then I'll check on you later."

The door hissed closed behind him and he stood alone in the hallway. Somehow the loneliness was even more oppressive than before. He was tempted to ignore his duties and go back inside to watch Rey explore, but as soon as he checked his commlink, he rethought the idea.

Messages streamed past, most of them from Hux. He clenched his jaw and shoved the device in his pocket. Hux was the last person in the galaxy he wanted to see. He might actually take his Uncle Luke over the man.

"That's saying something," he said to himself as he strode down the corridors to the bridge, typing a message for one of the troopers on sanitation duty to bring clothes and food to Rey's room.

He spotted the general's red hair almost before he got through the door. Hux was surrounded by people that were all talking at once and all looked as agitated as Kylo felt.

"The attack destroyed twenty of our destroyers," someone was saying, "Twenty!"

"The starboard wing was completely severed," someone else said. "Most of the reactors are nonfunctioning. If we even tried the others we'd risk irradiating the ship because the cooling system is offline."

"The _Supremacy_ is already in Crait's orbit. We wouldn't be able to get her out again unless we manage to get her repaired."

"Good luck with that," someone quipped.

"What are the Supreme Leader's orders?"

"Do we pursue the Resistance?"

Kylo watched as Hux rubbed his throat before standing a little straighter.

"The Supreme Leader is dead," he said, "His apprentice Kylo Ren has taken his place."

"What?" said a familiar voice.

Kylo looked down to see Phasma, her once bright armor tarnished and clouded. Her helmet was gone, and her face was fierce and covered in ash. A burn stretched over the skin around her left eye, swelling it shut. Kylo decided to head her off before she made her displeasure known. He knew as well as everyone else that her loyalty lay with Hux.

"Be careful what you say next, trooper," he said, hand already on his lightsaber.

Phasma's eyes went wide as she looked up at him, but her mouth snapped shut.

"Does anyone else wish to voice their objections?" he asked.

No one spoke.

"Good," he said. "Now, is the _Supremacy_ functional?"

"Functional, yes. Salvageable, no," said a man in an engineering uniform.

"We'll further assess the damage," said Kylo. "If it proves to be as extensive as we think, we'll scuttle her, but for now we'll stay where we are. Have the ships returned from Crait?"

"Some have arrived, Supreme Leader," said a voice. "The rest are in hyperspace and should be arriving at several battlecruisers scattered across the galaxy within the next hour."

"Good."

"Beg pardon, Supreme Leader," asked one of the flight deck captains, "aren't we going to go after them? The Resistance, I mean."

Kylo stared at the man, who quickly dropped his eyes.

"They just blew apart the largest ship the First Order has. We've lost resources, time, and more lives than we can spare. Right now we're going to regroup, not stretch ourselves thin by going into battle to soothe our wounded pride."

"But Supreme Leader-" began the man.

"Have I made myself clear, captain?"

"Yes, sir."

Kylo glanced around, waiting for the next protest. When none came he nodded.

"You're all dismissed to continue working to recover your comrades. I'll need a full damage report and a list of missing and deceased personnel as soon as possible."

As soon as they scattered, Hux approached. Kylo swallowed his groan.

"Why are we not pursuing them?" he asked. "We have the Resistance in our grasp. We could wipe them from the galaxy."

"The Resistance is all but dead, Hux," he said, "leave it be."

"I will not leave it be," spat Hux, "and neither should you. Whatever happened to hunting down Skywalker? Snoke was convinced he was the key. Destroy Skywalker, destroy the Resistance."

"Skywalker is a broken man who refuses to fight. Snoke himself admitted he was mistaken. Rey is the key to defeating the Resistance. She's here now, so why waste men and ammunition where it is least needed."

"While anyone in the Resistance lives, there is still hope."

Kylo scoffed.

"You think that Hux," he said, "but you're wrong. While Rey stood with them there was hope. They know she is my match in the Force. How much hope will they have when they find out she has joined us?"

"You put a lot of faith in this girl."

"She is strong in the Force, but untrained. My equal in power."

"What of it?"

Kylo's anger spiked and he grabbed the general by the collar.

"Don't you understand Hux? Rey is the one we've been hunting for, not Skywalker."

Hux jerked himself out of Kylo's grasp and took a step backwards.

"No," he said, "she's the one _you've_ been hunting for."

He turned back to the observation window and stared out at the curve of the world below them.

"I will respect your orders for now, Supreme Leader." he said, "But the Resistance must die."

"Are you threatening treason?"

"I'm threatening whatever I have to to bring order to this galaxy."

The hair on the back of Kylo's neck stood straight as a cold shaft of fear stabbed into him.

"Remember who you're talking to." he said.

"I do." Hux replied, his voice devoid of emotion. "You remember where your loyalties lie."

"How can I forget?" Kylo snapped.

Hux smirked.

"It seems as though you already have, _Supreme Leader_."

Kylo didn't miss the disdain in Hux's voice, or the threat. He growled and flung out his arm toward the man, fingers flexed. Hux retreated backward and the expression of pride slipped to be replaced by fear. Kylo smiled and dropped his arm.

"Don't forget what I can do, Hux."

The general rubbed a hand over his throat and turned away.

"If you'll excuse me, Supreme Leader, I have things to do."

Kylo dismissed him with a wave and stood, staring out at the planet spinning below him.

"I've bought you time mother," he murmured, "Don't waste it."

By the time he got back to his apartments, his legs burned from walking over the ship. The muscles in his neck were tight with stress and he had a headache beginning behind his eyes. Still, he couldn't resist the temptation to walk past Rey's door and knock. There wasn't an answer, so he scanned his palm, certain nothing would happen.

To his surprise, the door slid open.

"Rey?" he asked, poking his head around the doorway.

No answer.

There was a pile of dirty clothes outside the refresher and he could smell soap, but his apprentice was nowhere to be seen. He took a few steps into the room. She wasn't there.

"Rey?" he called again softly.

The door to her bedroom was cracked open and he knocked against the frame.

"Rey? I just came by to check on you."

He peered in and saw her curled on her side wrapped in a blanket. Her eyes were closed, her mouth was open, and her hair was loose from its buns, lying in a tangled, half damp mess against her neck. Her chest rose and fell in the gentle breaths of a sleeper perfectly at peace. In that moment he caught a glimpse of her, not as an enemy or an apprentice but as she was, another human being like himself: lost in a destiny too big for her. He found that, for that brief space of time, she was more beautiful to him than she'd ever been. He felt the corners of his mouth turn up in the first genuine smile he'd given all day.

"Sleep well Rey." he whispered and closed the door.


	6. Chapter 6: Rey

_Rey was a child again, running from monsters. Blue lighting crackled around her, sending pain through her skin when it flashed close enough to touch her. Her head ached and there was pain so deep in her bones that she stumbled and cried out. Another voice answered hers, screaming in agony. A child's voice. A boy's voice._

 _It echoed from all sides and she turned, uncertain where to find the source. The voice kept wailing, but its pitch shifted, going deeper until she realized it was a man's hoarse scream. She knew it. She knew it like she knew his music._

 _"Stop it," the words came to her unbidden. "Stop hurting him."_

 _The screaming didn't stop. More voices joined it until it became a terrible chorus that sent the hair on the nape of her neck upright. She clamped her hands over her ears and tried to run away. The floor seemed to tilt beneath her and she staggered, falling to hands and knees._

 _She huddled there, shielding herself from the lightning with her arms, terror like a thick smoke in her mind. She wasn't sure how long she stayed there._

 _Her surroundings shifted and she was standing in front of an angry crowd. They shouted things she couldn't quite hear, but she knew by the faces that she didn't want to. She tried to tune out the terrifying sounds, but the harder she tried to ignore them, the more clear they became._

 _"Traitor."_

 _"Sellout."_

 _She recognized the voices and spun to see the once familiar faces of her friends, twisted in rage. Finn's eyes were hard and black as he pointed his finger at her. Poe stood at his side, an expression of utter contempt painting his features. Leia was the worst. It wasn't anger that hardened her face. It was disappointment and a mother's long anguish revealed._

 _"We trusted you, Rey."_

 _"Coward."_

 _The words hissed around her, stinging like physical blows. Rey opened her mouth to defend herself, but nothing came out. She listened in silence as her friends called her everything she knew she deserved. Tears began to run down her cheeks and she found her voice at last._

 _"I'm sorry," she cried out. "I'm so sorry."_

She woke from her dream to someone pounding on her bedroom door. It took her a few moments of panic before she realized that she wasn't waking up on Ahch-To and to remember her promise of the day before. The drumbeat of the fist didn't go away.

"What?" she groaned, rolling onto her side and squinting through tears at the offending portal.

"Get up," came the muffled voice from the other side, "I thought you wanted to train."

Kylo Ren. She groaned again and buried her head under her pillow. She knew she should have removed his palm print from the access sensor.

"I thought you wanted me to sleep." she said.

"And you did," came the reply.

Rey sighed and sat up, pushing strands of hair out of her face.

"Are you getting up?"

"Yes."

The floor was cold under her bare feet as she stumbled to the door and pulled it open. Kylo Ren stood on the other side, his dark frame filling the entrance. He stared down at her red face and watery eyes. His mouth came open, and she didn't have to open the bond to know he was about to ask a question she didn't want to answer.

"Get out of my way Ren," she said. "I have to pee."

He backed up like she'd threatened him with a lightsaber.

"Take your time." he said.

Rey didn't look at him as she disappeared into the refresher and shut him out. She turned and found herself staring at her reflection in the little mirror over the sink. Her hair was tangled in knots and one cheek had marks from the wrinkles in the sheets. Her eyes were bleary and tear stained and the dark circles still stained the skin beneath them. She ignored her reflection and started to work out the tangles in her hair with her fingers, pulling the strands up into three buns.

A stormtrooper had brought a small pile of clothes for her soon after Kylo left her room the night before and she sifted through the crumpled garments before pulling on a gray tunic over the body glove she'd slept in. Satisfied, she turned from the mirror and left. Kylo sat sprawled on the couch with his back to her, seemingly staring at nothing.

"Kylo?" she asked.

He jerked like she'd woken him and got to his feet.

"You ready to go?" he asked.

She didn't respond.

"Have you got your saber?"

In answer, she stretched out her hand and called on the Force. The next second her weapon was in her hand. When she turned back to Kylo, she startled and backed up. The crackling blade of his lightsaber was mere inches from her chest.

"Lesson number one," said Kylo, deactivating the weapon and crossing his arms. "On this ship, keep that with you wherever you go. Keep it near you even when you sleep. In the time it took you to call it to yourself, someone could have killed you."

Rey stared at him like he was speaking a different language.

"Survival, Rey," he explained. "You're going to have a lot of enemies on this ship because I have a lot of enemies."

"Terrific." she said, tucking her lightsaber into her belt. "And here I thought they'd hate me just because I fought with the Resistance."

"Unfortunately, no, though they won't take kindly to that either."

"Great."

He gave her a wry smile and motioned her to follow him.

"Come on," he said, "We can't duel here."

"Where are we going?" she asked, jogging after him.

"The training room," he said. "I don't have any practice sabers, so we'll have to make do with our own. Just as long as you promise not to take a swipe at my face again."

Rey glanced up at the long pale scar that ran from his eye down his cheek. Guilt twisted in her chest.

"I'm sorry about that."

"You are?"

He glanced at her and she sensed him on the fringes of her mind, searching her emotions.

"You actually are, aren't you?"

"Why is that so hard to believe?" she asked.

"I thought you hated me."

"More of a strong dislike," she said.

"Yet you still want to train with me," he said.

"Luke didn't leave me much of a choice."

It almost seemed like his face fell a little before smoothing back into his usual impassive expression.

"What did he teach you?"

Rey thought back.

"He taught me how to sense the Force around me."

"That's it?"

She nodded.

"The rest I've sort of figured out on my own."

Kylo ran a hand over his face and blew out a long breath.

"Force help me, I've got so much work to do."

"Hey."

"Did he at least teach you how to meditate?"

"Yes, but I think I do it differently than he did."

"Well it's a start anyway."

They were quiet for a moment and Rey took the time to study her new Master. She'd nearly memorized his face after seeing him so often through the bond, but it seemed different now. The dark circles under his eyes were deeper and there was little color in his cheeks. He looked ill.

"Are you alright Kylo?"

He blinked like he was coming out of a dream.

"What?"

"Are you alright?"

"Yes," he said, "I just didn't sleep well last night."

Rey looked at the dark circles again and wondered how long it had been since he'd slept well.

"Me neither."

"Are you alright?"

She shrugged in answer and kept up her pace behind him. To her relief, the only memory of her injuries was a dull ache in her stomach and shoulder.

"Here it is," said Kylo, stopping at a door.

He scanned his hand and they walked in. Rey stared around her. It was a huge empty space, almost cavernous in appearance.

"What is this?"

"A training room," Kylo said, his voice echoing. "The stormtroopers don't use it until they're off duty, so it's ours for a few hours."

"Then let's get started," Rey said as she plopped down and closed her eyes to listen to the Force.

There was a full second of silence.

"What are you doing?"

"Listening."

Kylo let out a noise of exasperation and she could almost hear him roll his eyes. She cracked an eye and looked up at him. He had grabbed the neck of his tunic and was pulling it over his head, crumpling the fabric into a ball and tossing it to the side. The black shirt beneath left his arms free and she wondered for a split second if she should have worn something more practical than the loose tunic, so easy to catch hold of in close combat.

"What are you doing?"

"Stand up," he instructed, ignoring her question.

She obeyed, scrambling to her feet.

"This time, use your emotions. They can guide you to the Force, just as meditation does. You did it yesterday, once, when you were angry with me."

"You want me to try to find the dark side?"

"That's why you agreed to be my apprentice- you wanted me to teach you what I know."

"I don't know," she said, uncertain.

"If you want power, then you need the dark side."

Rey bit her lip, suddenly conflicted. This was why she joined him as his apprentice, but at the suggestion she access the darkness, her courage faltered. Kylo sighed.

"Maybe we should just start with the sabers."

Rey couldn't help the grin that spread across her face as she reached for her weapon. She ignited the blade watching its blue light erupt from the hilt and reflect in Kylo's eyes. He ignited his own saber and took a step forward, extending it until the blade was inches from hers.

"Now concentrate," he said. "You bested me because I was injured and wasn't trying to kill you and you made it out alive when you fought the guards only through blind luck. You can't just run into a battle and slash at anything that moves. I'm surprised you haven't cut your own arm off."

Rey took up her position and watched him as he started to circle her like a wild animal, inspecting her stance. His foot nudged hers outward.

"Keep a wide base, if you can, especially if you're fighting a Force sensitive."

Rey settled herself and rolled her shoulders, working out the tension that seemed to live there ever since she'd come aboard the _Finalizer_. Kylo's fingers found her arm and she jerked away from him. He raised an eyebrow.

"Stars, you're skittish," he said, withdrawing his hand. "Bring your arm up a little more and keep the saber at an angle across your body. You'll have more success blocking a blow."

He brought his saber up in an arch and she batted it away.

"Good."

He tried a few more strokes, testing her guard. A sense of unease settled over Rey. The last time she'd battled Kylo Ren she'd thought he'd been out for blood. She tried to brush away the emotion and focus, but every movement seemed to have a memory of the forest battle superimposed. She shivered. Kylo stopped and watched her through narrowed eyes.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she lied, taking a step forward and giving a quick thrust toward his chest.

Kylo checked the blow and twisted away, but he was back in a moment, bearing down on her with several heavy strokes. Rey backed out from under him, desperately trying to keep her focus on defending herself. She faltered, stumbling as she gave up more ground, running from the memory of his fury.

"Draw on the Force." Kylo said. "Use it to push back."

Rey forced herself to stand straight beneath Kylo's shadow and reached for the only emotion strong enough to register in her mind. Fear. She clung to the shrill pitch of her terror and twisted. A cold darkness swept through her and the low hum of the dark side filled her ears. It was as though she were back in the cave on Ahch-To. She felt the same freezing thrill that she sensed as she broke the surface of the black pool. The new sensation fed her fear and, in turn, fueled the darkness. Power surged through her, sharpening her focus to a needle point and lending strength to her muscles.

She darted forward, striking at Kylo's exposed side. He deflected her stroke and took a step back, bringing his saber up in defense. Rey circled him, her fear slowly turning to a carefully controlled flame of anger. The Force around her sank to a lower pitch and her feet wove patterns as she stalked about.

Kylo's eyes trailed her, his muscles tight and ready to spring. She felt him shift the second before he leapt forward, instinctively knowing where he would strike. Her blade met his in a shower of sparks.

"For someone who's scared of the dark side, you take to it well," he said, using his weight to push her back.

Rey's anger flared up and she tried to duck out from under him to get in a cut. He spun and gave a curious flick of his saber. Her weapon sailed across the room. She thrust out her hand, fully expecting to feel the snap of the lightsaber hitting her palm, but nothing happened. She tried again, casting about for the pull of the crystal. Nothing. Her anger vanished to be replaced by confusion, but with it came a strange sensation of emptiness. She felt _wrong_. The music of the dark side faded and she staggered in the sudden absence. Kylo saw her weakness and held his saber at her neck.

"Yield?"

"Yield," she replied, her confusion deepening.

Kylo pulled his other hand from behind his back and tossed her saber at her with a grin that Rey had never seen before. She caught it and stared at him.

"How did you-"

"Years of practice against my Knights."

"Your Knights?"

"You'll meet them soon enough."

"Where are they?" she asked, looking around as though they would step from the walls.

"Several different ships patrolling the Expansion Region."

"Why the Expansion Region?"

Kylo gave her a small smile.

"Maybe I'll tell you one day."

Rey opened her mouth to remind him that he'd promised not to keep things from her, but a look from Kylo silenced her. It wasn't worth an argument. He circled her again, his lightsaber hissing at her throat.

"Now, where did you go wrong?"

"I dropped my guard?" she asked.

"Close, but not quite," he said. "You dropped your hold on the Force."

"But my saber-"

"There are other ways to fight without your saber. If you limit yourself to a weapon, you die."

Rey turned in a circle to follow him.

"Then teach me." she said. "Isn't that what we're here for?"

"Are you willing to use the dark side?" he asked.

She hesitated. It came so easily to her, maybe Luke had been right. Maybe she was just like Kylo. If he hadn't been strong enough to resist its pull, who was she to think she could walk the line between light and dark. Even now, she sought the power the dark side would grant- already lusted after it. She looked down at her hands clutching the silver hilt of Anakin Skywalker's lightsaber. They shook as she looked back to Kylo and nodded.

"Show me."

Kylo deactivated his lightsaber and sheathed it at his side. She heard the dark side rising around him even as he pulled his hand away. Sparks began to appear around his fingers and she smelled electricity in the air. The hum became almost deafening as he crossed his arms at his chest. Lightning branched around him, curling into a shield that enclosed him in something like a glowing web. She squinted in the flickering light, watching him through the spaces.

As suddenly as it appeared, the lightning disappeared and Kylo stood, trembling and sweating, in the middle of the floor. A trickle of blood ran from his nose. Rey's eyes drifted down to the palms of his hands and she noticed two blistering burns at their centers.

Kylo closed his eyes and Rey heard the song of the dark side again. The blisters shrank and the charred skin cracked and flaked from his hands, revealing smooth pink scars. The song faded and Kylo's eyes flickered open. For a second, his face betrayed pain and exhaustion before he smoothed it all away.

"In time, I'll teach you to both destroy and heal," he said. "The dark grants the power to do either."

Rey could only stare at the silvery, twisting scars that ran down his arms.

"How many times have you done that?" she whispered.

"More than I can count," he said, with a shrug.

"It hurts you, doesn't it?"

"Not as much as it used to."

Rey took a deep breath. Pain was no stranger, but to actively seek it out was a concept that went against every instinct life on Jakku had hammered into her. But wouldn't the power she gained outweigh any pain she might experience, especially if it was only temporary? Confliction roiled in her, mixing with equal parts fear and confusion.

She sensed Kylo reaching for her through the bond, guessing that he was trying to read her thoughts. He stood on the edge of her mind and called her name from a distance. The Force tugged at her, drawing her close to stand next to the barrier she still maintained between them. It was getting harder to shut him out. Her walls were growing cracks.

Confused and afraid she flailed about in her mind, stretching out to the light side, seeking the peace that always soothed her. It seemed to take longer to reach it, but after a minute, the strains of the song that wove itself among the stars grew loud enough to hear. She surrendered to it, letting it flow into her until the strange emotions afflicting her ebbed enough for her mind to become quiet.

Kylo's eyes flicked to her the second she sank into the music and he stiffened.

"You're listening again, aren't you?"

She closed her eyes and pulled in a long breath, holding on to the peace for as long as she could. The music filled her and calmed her boiling emotions. She clung to it for a minute before releasing the Force and opening her eyes. There was a sudden empty feeling like hunger gnawing in her chest. In the space of a second the peace of the light Side disappeared, and a dark desperation overtook her. All she wanted was something to fill the horrible void that had opened in her. Anger rose, unbidden, to consume her.

"What if I am?" she asked, fingers tightening around her lightsaber.

Kylo's eyes narrowed and she sensed him sifting through her emotions, trying to piece things together. Realization dawned on his face.

"You feel it, don't you?"

"Feel what?" she snapped.

"The emptiness," he gestured to his chest. "Here. Like a wound."

"What of it?"

"I feel it too."

"That's nothing new," she said. "We share emotions, remember."

"Not like this," he said. "Not this deep."

"So, what?"

"What if the bond is getting stronger?"

Rey felt the muscles of her shoulders go tight. It was bad enough to never know when he would show up, or to feel the same emotions he did. But to take on his pain and confliction as if it were her own? She almost wished that Snoke had never connected them.

The music of her anger swelled into a crescendo. She was angry with Kylo, angry with herself, and most of all, angry because of the clamor of emotions, voices, and pictures in her head. She longed to shut it all out and simply float with the peace of the light Side again, but when she tried to reach it again, she found that she couldn't.

The chaos in her head became overwhelming and she fought to control herself. She was sensing too much for her mind to take in. Her thoughts felt too big for her skull. She clutched at her head, panting and beginning to shake. Memories crowded in from the far corners of her thoughts, refusing to be ignored.

"Rey," said Kylo, quietly, "Take a deep breath."

Rey's eyes jumped from her Master to the door. Her legs tensed to run. She had to get out. She had to get away from him. Kylo's fingers wrapped around her shoulders and held her fast. His eyes locked on hers, desperate and pleading with her to listen.

"Give your fear to me, Rey," he said. "Let me help you."

Rey panicked.

Her lightsaber sprang to life with a blue flame and she lashed out at Kylo's exposed arm. A cut appeared on his forearm, blackened and cauterized. Kylo let out a yell and backed up, reaching for his weapon. It seemed to Rey that she was looking down on herself, slashing at the air like a savage, unable to stop herself. Anger coursed through her, a natural channel through which the dark side could flow. She let out a furious scream and swung at Kylo. He grunted in pain as her blade met his and sent a shock through his injured arm.

She had him on the defensive. Wide-eyed, he gave up ground, furiously parrying her strokes. She could hear the deep rumble of the Force as he pulled at it and it struck a chord within her. Even in her crazed state, she knew what was happening.

They were both singing the same melody now.

She sensed Kylo manipulating the Force around her before she saw his hand come up. She reached out with her mind, trying desperately to blink away the darkness growing behind her eyes.

 _Sleep, Rey._

Rey shook her head, stumbling forward. Her lightsaber dropped from her nerveless fingers, hitting the floor with a hard crack and rolling to a stop. She fought to stay conscious, but was rapidly losing her battle. Sounds blurred and faded, and the relief of her mind emptying made her knees buckle. She fell. Kylo caught her before she reached the ground. For a fading moment, she relished the silence of a peaceful mind before she slipped into a deep sleep.


	7. Chapter 7: Rey

She woke to find herself flat on her back, staring at the ceiling. When she turned her head, she started to see Kylo Ren sprawled next to her, propped up by the wall. His eyes were closed and he made the soft noises of a sleeper.

"Kylo," she hissed, nudging his leg.

He jerked awake with a gasp.

"What's going on?" he slurred.

"You put me to _sleep_?" Rey said accusingly.

Kylo groaned and twisted his neck until it popped.

"You were out of control," he said, "It was the only way to stop you."

"But-"

"You were on a path to hurt yourself," he said.

Rey blinked and squinted, trying to remember what had happened.

"Did I hurt you?" she asked.

Kylo snorted.

"Hardly," he said, but Rey noticed his hand moving to cover a dark patch of skin on his arm.

"I'm sorry, Kylo," she sighed.

Kylo got slowly to his feet and stood with his back to the wall, arms crossed in front of him.

"We need to work on the bond."

"What?" she squawked. "Why?"

"We're going back to your apartments," he said. "It'll work better if you're familiar with your surroundings."

"Why?" she repeated.

"So I can help you. You reacted strongly to your first time using the dark side- even more so than I anticipated. You lost control to your fear- I can teach you how to keep it under a tight rein."

Rey shook her head.

"You can't control your own fear," she said. "How do you expect to help me with mine?"

"Lessons are easier to teach when the teacher knows what the student feels," he said. "Maybe we can help one another."

He led her through the corridors back to her set of rooms and opened the door, allowing her to enter before him. Her spine prickled, but she kept her knees steady and managed to make it to a chair before she collapsed. Kylo sat opposite her, studying her face with his unflinching gaze. Rey grew uncomfortable and cast her eyes about the room, looking everywhere but at him. She felt him on the edge of her thoughts, stalking back and forth along her wall like a wild animal.

"Open your side of the bond."

"No," she said.

She pulled her knees to her chest, wrapped her arms around them, and refused to meet his eyes.

"Rey, this is important."

"Not so important as keeping you out of my head. I'm not letting you sort through my thoughts again. One interrogation was enough."

"I'm not interrogating you," he said. "I promise I won't look at anything I don't have to. If I do, you can block me out."

Rey curled tighter around herself

"What do you want to look at anyway?"

"Only the last few weeks- ever since you realized you could use the Force."

Rey chewed her lip.

"That's a lot of time for you to poke around in."

"It won't be everything- just the times you used the Force."

"Why do you want to look into my mind at all?" she asked.

"To get an idea of how you use the Force and how it interacts with you. Most people don't respond to the dark side with the panic that you did. You seem to be more sensitive to it."

She avoided his eyes. There was a reason she was skittish around the dark side, quite apart from being taught that its users were irredeemable.

"You swear you won't pry into anything but what you have to?"

"I swear," he said. "I only want to help."

Rey eyed him.

"Why?"

He didn't answer for a long minute.

"You remind me of myself, a long time ago," he said at last, his eyes glazing as he read her emotions. "You feel alone. Confused. Uncertain which way you should turn even now."

Rey shook her head even as he was speaking.

"I'm not anything like you," she said.

Kylo gave her a wry smile.

"You and I both know that isn't true."

"You don't know anything about me," she snapped.

"I know much about you," he said. "Not all, but enough to know your weaknesses and strengths. I could turn any of them against you if I wanted."

"Then why should I trust you in my mind?" she asked. "Why should I trust you at all?"

"Because I'm telling you," he said. "And because I am not Snoke. I will not use you."

"I don't believe you."

Kylo flung his arms wide and Rey heard his emotion surge up, beating like waves of sound against the walls in her mind. He'd taken down his wall.

"Test me," he said. "Open the bond and tell me if I'm lying."

Rey hesitated. She could sense the strength of his music, muffled though it was with her wall still standing.

Kylo brought his chair closer and held out his hands to her. After a minute Rey slowly uncurled herself and stretched out her arms, movements careful as an animal approaching a strange human. Her fingers came to rest across his and she found that she was shaking in fear, both of him and of her own mind.

"Just open the door," said Kylo.

The jolt that went through her reminded her of the one on Ahch-To, but much stronger. Power surged through the bond, locking their minds together. The emotions she'd been hearing as a background music from Kylo shifted into sharp focus, loud and pulsing in her ears. It was disorienting, as it had been the first time she'd looked into his mind. The dark side in him pulled at a corresponding darkness in her and she had to force herself to ignore it.

She searched him for any sign that he hadn't been honest. There was nothing but the bared truth that he knew her, probably better than any other person in the galaxy. There was no desire to use what he knew against her. Her forehead wrinkled.

Kylo's chuckle seemed to echo in her thoughts.

"Truth not lining up with your idea of me?" he asked.

"Why wouldn't you use what you know?" she asked.

"I told you," he said. "I'm not Snoke."

"But you pledged yourself to the dark side. You have no qualms about killing, why would you take issue with using someone's mind against them?"

"Is that what you think?" he asked, reading her thoughts. "That I kill because I enjoy it?"

"You killed your own father."

Kylo's expression twisted into something like pain.

"I don't enjoy killing."

"Then why do you do it?"

Kylo's back went rigid and his jaw tightened.

"Your mind is already hostile territory. You wouldn't listen to anything I have to say."

"You told me once that you didn't hate your father," she said. "What other motivation is there to kill another person, especially one that loves you?"

As she spoke, Kylo's pulse shot upwards beneath her fingers. Images began to flick through her mind, nearly making her dizzy with their speed. She got the idea that it was involuntary. Voices rang through her thoughts, coming to her as though from a distance. Then all at once, one came to her loud and clear.

 _"Ben!"_

Han's voice in Kylo Ren's memory.

She heard the name and Kylo's thought that came after as if it were her own.

 ** _No. Don't make me do this, Father._**

 _Fear. There was fear and a pain of knowing he couldn't stop what he was about to do. He had to do it. He had to make it believable. It was a matter of self-preservation._

 _"Han Solo."_

 ** _Father._**

 _"I've been waiting for this day for a long time," he said, words coming in a monotone._

 ** _Leave. Please just leave. I'll tell him you got away. Turn your back on me as I have turned on you._**

 _"Take off that mask. You don't need it."_

 _"What do you think you'll see if I do?"_

 ** _What will you see, father? A man, or the monster Snoke has made me?_**

 _"The face of my son."_

 _A wave of sorrow so deep he could have drowned in it. He wanted to drown. Why couldn't this test have been anything else? He brought his hands up and pulled off the helmet. For the first time, he looked on his father with his unshielded eyes._

 ** _I'm sorry._**

 _"Your son is gone," he said. "He was weak and foolish like his father, so I destroyed him."_

 ** _Snoke destroyed him. Snoke is destroying him. Ben is long gone now._**

 _"That's what Snoke wants you to believe. But it's not true. My son is alive."_

 _"No," he said. "The Supreme Leader is wise."_

 ** _Wise, yes. But cunning. Vicious._**

 _"Snoke is using you for your power. When he gets what he wants, he'll crush you. You know it's true."_

 ** _I know, father. I know better than you think I know._**

 _"It's too late."_

 _The first true words out of his mouth._

 _"No, it's not. Leave here with me. Come home. We miss you."_

 _The wound in his chest burned as it tore open a little farther. He wanted to go home. More than anything, he wanted to go home. But the dark in him had already grown too strong. Snoke would find him. Snoke always won._

 _"I am being torn apart," he said, voice coming out in a choked whisper. "I want to be free of this pain. I know what I have to do, but I don't know if I have the strength to do it."_

 ** _Please, father. Leave me. Leave now._**

 _"Will you help me?"_

 _He cursed himself. Why was he such a coward? Why couldn't he resist Snoke?_

 _"Yes. Anything."_

 ** _No, father. No, no, no._**

 _The word turned into a chant, running in a long stream through his head until the individual words blurred. His helmet clanked on the walkway as it dropped from his trembling fingers. He gripped the lightsaber at his belt and unsheathed it, holding it out to his father. Han glanced at him, and Kylo almost thought he saw realization in those familiar eyes. Those eyes he had loved as a child and still loved now. Han gripped the hilt of the saber in a white knuckled hand._

 ** _Why must this be the test. Why must I do this?_**

 _Memories of long days of torture poured into him. He couldn't face that again. His mouth had gone dry and his legs shook beneath him. It was all he could do to hold himself upright. The light disappeared from the sky and darkness descended. It mirrored the despair settling over him. His thumb crept toward the activation switch._

 ** _Run. This is your last chance. Turn and run. I'm so sorry._**

 _Han Solo didn't move._

 _Kylo was looking his father in his eyes when he gave the saber a quick twist and depressed the button. He saw the instant the blade drove home. His father's eyes widened and his mouth came open in a last gasp of air._

 ** _I'm so sorry. So sorry._**

 _Chewie's roar and an agonized wail echoed around him, but he could only look at his father. He drove his weight against the blade. A clean stroke. A quick death. Han would not have to suffer for more than a few seconds._

 _"Thank you," he whispered._

 ** _Father._**

 _He pulled the saber free and was startled by the hand that reached up to stroke his cheek. The rough calluses against his skin pulled up memories of his father tucking him into bed, stroking his hair back from his forehead as he promised another story tomorrow._

 ** _No more tomorrows now._**

 _Han didn't look away as he slipped to the side and tumbled out into empty air, plummeting down._

 ** _I'm so sorry._**

 _Kylo felt his heart tear in two. The pain nearly sent him to his knees._

Rey gasped and pulled her hands away, breaking free of the memory. Kylo's pain still clung to her and she felt sick to her stomach. She shook her head, hard, trying to dislodge the remnants of what she'd seen.

"Why did you show me that?"

"I didn't mean to," he said, looking as shaken as she felt.

She sensed that he spoke truth.

He pulled away from her, drawing back behind the walls of his mind. They sat in a dead silence, staring at one another until Rey let out a breath in a slow hiss and stretched out her arms toward him again.

"Only the memories you need," she said. "No more."

This time it was Kylo who hesitated to reach out.

Rey expected the electric current and so wasn't surprised when he finally clasped her wrists. She could tell he was holding himself at a distance, careful not to let much more than emotion slip from his mind to hers.

His voice came to her as clearly as if he'd spoken aloud.

"Show me what happened."

"How?"

"Remember," he said. "It'll help keep me from straying into other thoughts."

Rey closed her eyes and focused. Pictures began to flash behind her eyes as Kylo sorted through her thoughts. She saw herself reaching toward Luke's lightsaber, remembering the new and intoxicating music that she heard surrounding it. She saw again the vision she'd received when she'd touched it. She remembered the first time she'd seen Kylo and how she had turned his interrogation back towards him until she could read his thoughts and emotions.

She remembered the hours of training on Ahch-To and her own experiments with her abilities. She saw the dark cave and the question she'd asked of it. And then their bond was what filled her mind. The few times they'd talked across hundreds and thousands of light years. There was the memory of the throne room battle, when she'd used her growing abilities beside his, and then she saw herself in the training room, swinging her lightsaber like a madwoman. She felt again the pressure in her head and the emptiness in her chest that had driven her into panic, but faintly.

The second he sensed the remembered emotion, Kylo's presence in her thoughts jerked from a tentative curiosity to concern.

"What is it?" she asked, her own fear starting to tick upwards.

"I don't know," he said.

Rey remembered again, the old emotions drifting through her. Kylo was quiet in her head for a while, but she sensed his careful examination. It seemed like he was going over and over the memory of her training that afternoon, practically scouring it with his inspection.

"I need you to remember further back."

"How much further?"

"The throne room," he said quietly. "When Snoke forced himself into your mind."

Rey stiffened. That was something she didn't want to remember.

"I can't."

She startled as Kylo's fingers laced themselves through hers.

"I know it's difficult," he said. "Let me help you."

Rey didn't move. Her thoughts stayed fixed on Kylo's hands- a desperate attempt to keep herself from drifting into the past.

"Rey, please believe me," he said. "I _know_."

With his words, it all rushed back into her mind. The screaming pain in her head, the unbearably large will crushing down on hers. She had panicked, fighting back against it with everything in her. Even the memory was agonizingly painful.

"So this is why you panicked," Kylo murmured. "You used the dark side for the first time, but you also sensed my presence in your mind."

"What?"

"Strong, or in your case new, dark side powers and an intruder in your mind set you off."

"Why?"

"Because when Snoke tried to pull information from you, you were exposed to intense pain and the strength of his power. Now you associate pain with a foreign presence in your mind that is strong in the dark side."

Rey shook her head.

"Maybe. But it didn't feel like he was pulling at my memories," she said. "It was different than what you did during your interrogation. More like something heavy pushing down on my mind. I started to feel like I was supposed to give up- let myself go or something. It hurt."

Kylo's eyes narrowed.

"Let yourself go?" he asked, slowly, as though he wasn't sure what she meant.

Rey nodded.

"I need you to remember that again," Kylo said, "in as much detail as you can manage. I need to feel what you felt."

Rey pulled in a deep breath and steeled herself against the pain of the memory. She plunged into it as into water.

She sensed again the empty air beneath her as she hung suspended ten feet above the floor. She was helpless and unable to move, bound by the dark side as Snoke began to drill into the walls she thrown up around her mind. A weight seemed to press in at her temples, pain squeezing in a tight band across her forehead. She could hear a low hum, rising and falling and recognized the chill that froze her blood as the dark side.

The pain began to pulse through her whole body and her will began to crumble. A voice was whispering in her mind.

 _Give in. Give yourself up. The pain will go away if you let go._

Rey clenched her teeth and threw back her head, a guttural scream leaving her as she pushed back against the crushing weight.

Abruptly, it left. She dropped to the floor, striking so hard the breath left her body.

"Stop."

She flinched at Kylo's voice, but it pulled her away from the memory. She breathed again.

Kylo's forehead was wrinkled and he looked like he was concentrating.

"I need to see it once more," he said. "I'm sorry."

Rey grimaced, but allowed him to bring back the memory and scrutinize it. The images seemed farther away the second time, not so terrifying when she shared them. Kylo scrutinized them and kept going, traveling further forward in the memory than he had yet traversed. As it drifted past, she noticed other pictures-memories that she didn't recognize.

She saw her own face as though through a mist, terrified, staring up from a kneeling position several inches off the floor, bound by the Force. She saw the tears start in her own eyes and at the same time, she saw Kylo's determined expression, hand at his side with fingers twitching. Snoke's voice droned on in her own memory, echoed in the strange one. Kylo's memory, she realized. Kylo's memory of the same moments leaking into her mind.

"…and kills his true enemy."

In the space of that heartbeat, she had been more frightened than she had ever been in her life. She had not removed her eyes from Kylo's, praying for some miracle. And it had occurred. There was the hiss of a lightsaber igniting, but it was not the blade in his hand. In Kylo's memory, she saw her lightsaber burst into life, slicing through Snoke. The pale eyes went wide in shock.

There was a silence in her mind and Rey studied Kylo's memory. Something about it unsettled her. She was going through the memory for the third time when she spotted it. Just before Kylo twitched his fingers to draw the weapon forward there was a disturbance in the air around Snoke. She eyed it, uncertain, as the wall behind the disturbance warped and bent. It looked almost like the heat shimmers so common on Jakku. It grew and shifted about for a moment, then disappeared as suddenly as it came.

Without warning, the shrill tone of fear pierced her ears and Kylo's presence vanished from her mind. His hands jerked from hers and he leaned back in his chair, studying her with a face that was paler than usual. He looked as if he wanted to be sick.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Snoke," said Kylo, face twisting in anger and fear. "The son of a bantha."

"What about him?"

Kylo swore.

"He was testing your will," he said. "Looking for a weakness he could use to get in. I didn't realize he'd learned how to transfer himself. I should have seen it-"

"Kylo," Rey ground out through clenched teeth, "What are you talking about?"

Kylo ran his hands over his white face in a gesture that Rey was rapidly realizing was the way he hid his exhaustion.

"It's a long explanation."

Rey just stared at him until he started.

"For as long as they've existed," said Kylo, "the Sith have been obsessed with immortality. Snoke wasn't a Sith, but he was just as consumed with the idea of living forever."

Rey made a face.

"Yeah, it's never really appealed to me either," said Kylo.

"So, I guess they figured out a way to do it?" Rey asked.

"To cut out several hundred years of trial and error, yes. They figured out a way to transfer their consciousness into an object, or another being, even as their old bodies died and were consumed by the dark side."

Rey shuddered.

"The ritual was supposed to have been lost centuries ago, so it never crossed my mind that Snoke knew how."

Rey felt the blood drain from her face.

"You think he's not actually dead then?"

"That's what I'm going to find out," Kylo said.

He got to his feet, checked the lightsaber at his belt, and headed for the door. He stopped there and looked back over his shoulder to where she sat, unmoving.

"Are you coming?"

Rey shot to her feet and started after him down the hall. There was no way in Chaos that she was going to stay behind.

"Where are we going?"

"Back to the _Supremacy_ ," he said. "We'll find what we need to know there."


	8. Chapter 8: Rey

A/N: Hi folks! Aaaand we're back.

Thank you all for the comments- you all are so kind and it's a lot of fun to see the speculation about what's going to happen! Let me know what you think about where we're heading or about the characters or about...anything really. I love to hear what you think!

* * *

It was strange to see the _Supremacy_ floating, still and dark, listing to one side and surrounded by debris. The _Silencer_ slid into the hangar bay like a shadow and they disembarked. Rey looked around, half expecting to see stormtroopers. It was eerily silent and colder than she'd been expecting.

"This place gives me the creeps," she muttered.

Her voice echoed in the emptiness and Kylo glanced at her.

"Me too," he said. "Let's get going."

They walked to the lift doors that Rey remembered from their mad rush to leave the ship. The buttons were dark and she wondered how they were even going to open the doors until she heard the Dark side building around Kylo. He twitched his fingers and the doors slid open. The lift was on their level.

They stepped in together and Kylo made another gesture to shut the doors. His fingers trailed through the air once more and the lift gave a lurch and started to rise. Rey sensed his concentration and didn't speak, choosing instead to listen. It was so quiet that even the soft sounds she made seemed loud. Her ears almost ached with the absence. She found herself automatically reaching for the Force, desperate for a noise to tell her she wasn't cut off from every living thing.

The Light side curled around her and soothed her anxious mind. Her focus sharpened as fear began to loosen its grip on her. The lift shuddered to a stop and she trailed Kylo as he left the enclosed space for the dark corridor beyond. She remembered this one as the hall that led to Snoke's throne room.

"What are you looking for?" she asked, voice little more than a murmur.

"I'll know when I see it," Kylo said.

She could sense the anxiety stirring in him as he used the Force to open the doors to the throne room. Kylo's hand went to the lightsaber at his belt and Rey looked down to realize her hand had drifted to her own weapon. She unsheathed it and kept her thumb poised on the activation switch. Her breath stilled as the doors slid into the walls with a quiet _thunk_. The smell of decay hit her full in the face and she fought to keep from covering her nose. Kylo unsheathed his saber.

Rey let him go before her, content to observe the room from the doorway. Her eyes drifted over the mounds of flesh and material lying scattered around the room. Out of habit, she counted to herself.

 _One…two…three…_

She stopped at eight.

At first, the meaning of the number didn't touch her. It didn't make any impression at all, in fact, until Kylo swore with a vehemence that surprised her. He was standing on the dais as his lightsaber sprang to life in his hands. Only then did she notice the empty robes that lay before the great seat.

"No!" Kylo bellowed, slashing at the throne.

Rey drew back into the corridor, watching his frenetic blows with widened eyes. In his fury, he dropped his wall. Rey flinched as the overwhelming fear and rage pounded against her ears in relentless waves. She fought down her rising panic, clenching her fingers tight around the hilt of her saber.

Kylo continued to vent his anger until the throne lay in pieces on the floor. As the final piece crumbled, Rey heard Kylo's anger fade into a terror and sorrow so deep that a hole opened in her chest. Kylo staggered backwards as he deactivated his saber and he collapsed into a sitting position on one of the steps, his head in his hands. His shoulders heaved as he pulled in great gulps of air. Rey crept forward into the room.

"Kylo?" she called softly.

He didn't move. She stole closer, keeping her movements slow and careful. If the emotions swirling around him were an accurate indication, he was on a hair trigger. Rey reached out to the Light side, remembering how it had helped to calm him.

"Kylo?" she asked again. "What happened?"

"He's alive," Kylo said through his hands. "The body's gone."

Rey crouched next to him on the step before her legs could give out beneath her. She let out her breath in a long hiss through pursed lips.

"We're in trouble, aren't we?"

Kylo nodded.

Rey bit her lip and kept quiet.

"You never should have come back here," Kylo muttered. "You should have stayed on Ahch-To and left me alone. I shouldn't ever have pulled you into this mess."

Rey shrugged, trying to look braver than she felt.

"Maybe that's true," she said. "But I'm here now and neither of us can change the past. I've made my choice."

Kylo didn't even turn to look at her.

"You don't have to pretend, you know," he said. "I know you're just as scared as I am."

She bobbed her head once. They sat in silence for several long minutes, surveying the chaos they'd caused, before Rey finally spoke.

"I wonder how he learned to do it," she mused. "If the knowledge has been lost for hundreds or thousands of years, how did Snoke get his hands on it?"

With her words, it was as if Kylo stopped breathing. There was a heartbeat and then his rage surged up in a storm that made her dizzy to hear. He cursed and leapt to his feet, heading straight for the door.

"He had one," he said. "He practically _told_ me."

Rey ran after him, confused and uncertain.

"Had one what?" she asked. "What are you talking about?"

"A holocron," Kylo spat. "He told me he had access to ancient knowledge I could never fathom. How could I not have seen it?"

Rey was still confused but she trotted after him down the hallway, trying to match the length of his stride. Kylo seemed to know where he was going, and he never stopped to turn and make sure she was following. His mind was fixed firmly on something else.

Kylo stopped in front of a large pair of doors and shoved violently at the air. The doors bent and curved inward with a groan and an ear-piercing squeal. Rey flinched and clapped her hands over her ears. Kylo shoved aside the fragments of twisted metal and stepped through into the room beyond, fingers dancing to switch on the emergency lights. She went in behind him, eyes quickly adjusting to the dimly illuminated space. She found herself looking at a richly ornamented room. Snoke's quarters were painted in the same reds and blacks as his throne room and though it was plainly decorated, she somehow knew that everything around her was more expensive than anything she'd even dreamed of. Everything was still and silent; a chamber left dead in its occupant's absence.

Something about the silence made her acutely aware of her surroundings, and what she couldn't hear made her uneasy. There was something else here, but she didn't know what it was. There was something about it that reminded her of the Force, but she couldn't hear its music. All she got when she listened was a pressure in her chest and a fullness in her ears.

"What is that?" she asked, turning her head side to side and working her jaw in an attempt to clear her hearing.

"A holocron," Kylo said. "It's here somewhere. I can sense it."

He began to rip through cupboards and drawers, searching for whatever it was he was looking for. She hadn't the faintest idea what a holocron was, nor what it looked like, but she began to search alongside him anyway.

As she dug through a chest filled with books and scrolls, Rey began to feel dizzy. Her head ached and she started to feel a strange sense of dread. She knelt down and leaned against the side of the chest, the world spinning around her. She squeezed her eyes closed to try to stop it, but it only seemed to make the sensation worse.

Rey reached out to the Light side, hoping it would steady her, but as she did a wave of nausea swept through her. Whatever was causing her illness, accessing the Light side made it ten times worse. Immediately, she dropped her hold on the Force and the nausea vanished. Doing her best to ignore the remaining dizziness, Rey continued to shove books aside, looking for the holocron. She stilled when her hands brushed against a medium sized wooden box nestled beside several scrolls against the far side of the chest. It reminded her of a similar box in Maz's castle on Takodana, where she'd found her lightsaber. Carefully, she pulled it from among the papers and cradled it in her lap, sliding her nail into the crack beneath the lid and popping it open.

Instantly, the hair on her arms stood up as a sensation of foreboding struck her. She wanted nothing more than to throw the box away, along with whatever it hid inside, but something held her back. Something was calling to her. It pulled at the darkness inside her, as Kylo's darkness did. It tempted her like nothing had before. She opened the box.

Inside was a shiny object about the size of a clenched fist. It looked like it was made of glass and metal and it was fashioned in the shape of a pyramid. Odd pictures and symbols ran from its base to its tip, etched in the surface with lines that looked to be only a hairsbreadth wide. A black crystal was fixed firmly at the top of the pyramid.

Fascinated, Rey reached out and brushed her fingertips over the smooth surface. The pressure in her head and ears worsened. It was almost as if a music just below her range of hearing pulsed from the object. She was suddenly cold but, at the same time, sweat began to run down her face and neck. Her stomach turned and she was afraid she was going to be sick.

She closed the box and stuffed it back in the chest, quickly slamming down the lid. Almost at once, the pressure in her head lessened and her lungs didn't feel like they were being crowded out of her chest. Kylo's head snapped up as the lid of the chest closed.

"Rey?"

"I think I found the holocron."

"Where? In the chest?"

Rey glanced up to see an eager light in Kylo's eyes. Whatever was in the great trunk at her back, he wanted it badly. For a moment, she hesitated.

"What's a holocron?" she asked.

"Rey, where is it?"

"Not until you answer my question. It's not like it's going anywhere."

"It's a repository of knowledge, sort of like an electronic library. I'm guessing Snoke used this one to figure out a way to transfer his soul into another body and I'm hoping it'll give us a way to stop him."

Kylo crossed his arms.

"There," he said. "Satisfied?"

"Why does it make me feel sick?"

"I can't say for sure. Probably because you're so sensitive to the Force. It takes a great deal of power to make one of those things and they're loaded with the dark side. You don't tend to react well to the dark side, despite your natural affinity."

Rey's jaw tightened. His claim that she had a closeness to the dark side of the Force felt like an accusation. She jabbed a thumb over her shoulder at the chest.

"It's in a box near the bottom," she said. "I'll be in the hangar. I don't want to be anywhere near that thing."

She slipped out of the room and strode down the hallway, trying to ignore the curiosity pricking the back of her mind. Whether it was hers or Kylo Ren's, she really didn't care. Whatever knowledge that holocron held was dangerous. In her experience, anything that sounded even remotely like it had caused more pain than she was willing to put up with at the moment. Maybe she would try to access it when she was more experienced and could erect stronger walls to protect herself.

When she reached the lift, she came face to face with the realization that, unless she wanted to wait for Kylo, she was going to have to figure out a way to get herself down to the hangar bay. Hesitantly, she reached for the Force and held out a hand, spreading her fingers. Nothing happened. She let out a frustrated grumble and twisted harder. Nothing.

"It's so easy for _him_ ," she growled. "Why does everything come easy for _him_?"

Cold and heat swept through her as she fought down a rising frustration. The low hum of the dark side began to buzz in her ears. She shook her head, reaching for the music of the light side at the same time. For a moment she balanced, caught between two opposite melodies, tugged in two directions at once. A new song emerged as the two twined with each other, not beautiful, but strange. She caught only the first few notes before she lost equilibrium and tumbled towards the dark side.

The notes of her anger and frustration wove themselves together and she thrust out her hands once more in a pulling motion toward the doors. They bent outward with the squealing protest of overburdened metal. She pushed aside the crumpled pieces and stepped into the lift, one hand lifted toward the ceiling, the other toward the floor. The lift began to move, first in little shuddering jerks before smoothing out and rushing downward.

She stopped it at the level of the hangar bay and wrenched open the doors, anger still running ice cold in her veins. But after several steps into the vast empty space outside the lift, it all began to drain away. As the music of the dark side drifted into silence it left her feeling empty and dirty, as if using it had stained her. She rubbed her hands hard over her arms, wanting to scrub away the feeling. It didn't work.

Rey was just reaching for the Light side, again attempting to hear the beauty of its melody, when there was a sudden ripple in the Force. She stumbled as a low pulsing music thrummed around her for a brief moment before fading to nothing. Beyond a shadow of a doubt, she knew what had happened.

Kylo had opened the holocron.


	9. Chapter 9: Kylo

A/N: Thanks to FenrisInside who helped a lot with this chapter! I stand in veritable awe of your knowledge of Star Wars lore.

Also, thank you to everyone who is still sticking with this story- you all are the reason I write

* * *

Kylo fiddled with the strange device, turning it over and over in his hands. He didn't understand most of the symbols on its sides, but he understood enough to know that he was holding an artifact from a time lost to all but legend. It piqued his curiosity in a way nothing had for a long time. As he ran his fingers over the smooth surface, he found himself reaching for the dark side almost without realizing it. The holocron pulled at the darkness in him, bringing it to the surface where it was easy to access. He knew instinctively how to use it.

He concentrated on the darkness that rolled off the device in waves, giving it a few gentle nudges. There was a faint click and a brief pressure in his chest and head. A ripple ran through the Force, sending a chill through him and raising the hair on the back of his neck. Red light shone from the apex of the pyramid and flickered for a minute before resolving into the vaguely recognizable shape of a man in heavy, spiked armor that looked like it was made from the exoskeletons of several living creatures. The light shifted, and a lightsaber ignited in his hand.

"I am Darth Bane, Dark Lord of the Sith and prophesied Sith'ari. Welcome, young Master of the Knights of Ren. What would you ask of me?"

The voice was a rumble in the air, low and menacing, as the holocron sent out another wave through the Force.

Kylo blinked, uncertain.

"How do you know me?" he asked.

"Your Master spoke of you often, with great displeasure. Is that the only question you wish to ask?"

Sarcasm from a dead man. Terrific. Kylo quickly shook his head.

"No," he said.

"Then speak, boy."

Kylo thought quickly of all the things he wanted to know. There was so much he wanted to learn, so much he didn't understand. He settled for the lesson that pressed most on his mind. The one he hoped would help him finish the job he started when he took his Master's life.

"I want to know how to transfer my essence."

"So did your Master," said the hologram. "but he was not ready for the lesson for many years. What makes you think you are ready to learn such a ritual?"

"Necessity."

"Many have claimed necessity when they tried to gain the knowledge."

"I'm not asking for myself. I have no interest in living forever."

"So, you seek knowledge for its own sake?"

"More or less."

The hologram crossed its arms.

"Oh, you've got to be joking," came a voice. " _Now_?"

His concentration broke and he looked up to see Rey sitting cross-legged on the other side of the holocron. The hologram went silent as his mind drifted toward her.

"Rey?"

"The bond," she explained, waving an exasperated hand.

Now that she mentioned it, he did feel the connection like a tension in the back of his mind, straining against the space and time around him. Rey sighed.

"Why am I here? It still makes me sick to my stomach to even look at that thing," she said, gesturing at the pyramid.

The hologram flickered and jumped, responding to her agitation.

"Welcome, lightsider," it said. "Have you come to learn wisdom?"

Rey flinched.

"How does it know-?"

Kylo shrugged.

"Don't know," he said. "But somehow, it does."

There was an uncomfortable pause before Rey finally spoke.

"I already have a teacher. I don't need another."

"Very well," said the hologram. "I can do nothing for those who willingly turn from the path to strength."

Kylo watched as the red light flickered over Rey's face. Her mouth hardened into a thin line and he recognized the set to her jaw. She was irritated.

Before he could calm her, the hologram rounded on him.

"As for you," it said, "you would bind yourself with the weakness of a lightsider?"

"I would," he said, suddenly cautious.

"Then you are not ready for my lesson."

Kylo immediately felt his anger swell, biting cold and painful in its ferocity. He fought for control as he felt Rey's eyes on him. She was with him in the bond and he could tell by the expression on her face that she was sensing his emotions, as he could sense hers.

"Please," he ground out, "I need to know how this ritual is done. _We_ need to know."

"I will not teach you how to transfer your essence until you are ready."

Kylo growled in frustration. What good was a holocron that refused to tell him what he needed to know. He was on the verge of throwing it across the room when Rey's quiet voice broke through his anger.

"If you can't teach us the ritual," she said, "can you at least tell us how to stop it?"

The hologram paused and flickered, as if it were recalibrating.

"Stop the ritual?" it asked. "There's no way to stop it once it's begun. It is highly dangerous, even at the best of times, and the results are not certain. If the wielder is strong they succeed, if not, they fail and their soul slips into Chaos. Successful completion is dependent on the strength of the practitioner and the strength of the vessel, nothing more."

"What do you mean?" asked Rey, voice still soft in her curiosity.

"To possess another, the practitioner must first overcome the will of the victim. His body is consumed by the Force. If he should fail, his own soul has nowhere to return and so is relegated to Chaos."

"So, if someone had already possessed another, there isn't a way to stop him?"

"No. Not unless you kill the body."

Kylo's heart sank in his chest and Rey darted a glance at him.

"How do we find Snoke?" she asked.

"We don't," he replied, the muscles in his neck and shoulders already aching from tension.

"What do you mean, we don't?" Rey asked. "We have to hunt him down."

"No, we don't," he repeated, wanting more than anything to do exactly what Rey suggested. "We wait."

"Wait," Rey said, her tone unamused. "Be serious Ren."

"I am serious."

"But-"

"The _Supremacy_ carried upwards of two million stormtroopers and workers, any of which Snoke could have taken. Of those two million, we lost several hundred thousand in the attack. That still leaves over a million people, all of which have been scattered across the galaxy where they are now stationed on various ships and planets. We would be hunting for a needle in a pile of bantha fodder."

Rey pulled a face and crossed her arms.

"Surely we could-"

"No."

It was emphatic and he edged it with just the slightest pressure from the Force. Rey reacted like he'd burned her, recoiling and glaring at him.

"Don't you dare use a mind trick on me."

"I didn't," he argued. "I just gave you a little nudge."

She clamped her arms tight around her and he realized his mistake. It came so naturally and Snoke had been in his head so often that he forgot it wasn't normal to influence another's thoughts. He'd intruded on her. Again.

Idiot.

"Sorry," he muttered. "I don't want to argue about Snoke anymore."

"We shouldn't wait. He'll have time to plan."

Rey's arms slowly came untucked as she spoke, relaxing now that he wasn't in her head.

"That's what I'm counting on," he said, exhausted. "He'll bide his time for a while, but eventually he'll reveal himself."

"Why?" she asked. "Wouldn't he just work behind the scenes."

"Because Snoke is arrogant, and proud, and I'd wager that more than anything he wants to take revenge either by using us or killing us. If he's not after us for his own plans, he'll be out for blood. Neither is a good option but, of the two, I'd take death."

Rey didn't answer, just stared down at the floor and didn't make a move. The red light reflected on her face, casting shadows so he couldn't read her expression. Instead, he read her emotion. He could sense fear in its varying intensities,as he always could, and beneath it he felt her frustration and anger. Deeper still, there was an ever-present sorrow. But below that there was a peace. Always there was peace. Her feet were solidly planted in it- a starship tethered in a safe port. He was being tossed like a fighter in a solar storm.

"So we're just going to wait him out?" Rey finally said.

"For the time being," he replied. "We've got enough to worry about with the First Order."

Rey let out a short bark of humorless laughter.

"You mean _you_ have enough to worry about," she said. "You're the one who put his foot in it by killing Snoke."

Kylo grimaced. She was right, but he wasn't about to tell her so. Supreme Leader was a mantle he'd taken on out of necessity: to save both Rey and himself, and to prevent the galaxy from falling to the hands of a militaristic cur of a general. It was hardly one he desired.

Rey stretched out a hand toward the holocron as though to touch it, but her hand passed right through.

"So if this thing won't tell us anything, what is it good for?"

Bane's hologram stood, lightsaber blade still drawn at his side, silent as they both watched.

"What can you teach us, if you won't speak of the essence transfer?" Kylo asked it.

"I can give you schematics for weapons, how to perform certain Force abilities, and history."

"But what won't you teach us?"

"What you are unprepared to learn, as I have said. I will tell you when you ask something I will not answer."

Kylo wasn't sure he believed the holocron, but he didn't have much of an option. He'd learned about the devices long ago from both of his Masters, but he didn't remember as much about them as he wanted. Certain things faded from the mind without regular study and holocrons were, apparently, one of them. It was maddeningly frustrating.

"We should get back to the _Finalizer_ before Hux takes it into his head to start a coup," he muttered, reaching for the pyramid and switching it off.

The red beam of light vanished. Rey sat across from him for a second more before she too disappeared, melting away like mist in sunlight. He was alone.

"Why bring her to me only when the holocron was opened?" he murmured to the air.

He'd never understood the purposes of the Force, even before it bonded him with Rey and he understood them less now. The dark side was unfathomable in its width and depth, but the light side was even more so. The link running between him and his apprentice was a mystery to him- far beyond the twenty years he'd spent in tune with the Force.

"Maybe you can explain things to me," he said, tossing the holocron in the air and catching it.

He tucked the device in a pouch at his belt and then reached into the trunk to pull out several of the scrolls. They were old and seemed to be covered with the same strange symbols that ran over the crystalline surface of the holocron. He stuffed them in the pouch as well and turned his back on his Master's chambers.

When he got to the doors to the lift, he started back in surprise. They looked as if they'd been blown out from the inside, twisted shards of metal stretching out towards him like arms. Beyond was the dark shaft where the lift usually ran. Rey must have taken it to the flight bay. He took a step nearer and ran a hand over one of the pieces of metal. There was a lingering cold he recognized as an echo of the dark side.

"Stars," he murmured, "she must have been angry."

He called the lift back to his level and was soon back in the flight bay, striding toward his fighter. He looked about for Rey, but didn't see her until he climbed onto the wing and peered through the hatch. Rey lounged in the pilot's seat, humming a strange song quietly to herself, fingers tapping against the yoke.

"Rey?"

The low music cut off mid note and Rey straightened.

"Didn't take you long to get down here," she said.

Her hand trailed absently over the controls as she stood, and he didn't miss the longing that flashed across her face and through her emotions. She wanted to fly again. He would be half tempted to let her if it wasn't the _Silencer_.

"Maybe I'll let you in a few days," he said aloud, addressing her unspoken thought.

Rey stuck him with a glare but didn't repeat her warning to keep out of her mind. He guessed she was probably getting tired of telling him off.

"Sorry," he said. "It just happens sometimes, especially around you. It's not on purpose."

She softened a little.

"I think I understand what you mean," she said. "It's like I constantly drift toward the bond and have to pull myself back."

Kylo nodded. That was exactly what it felt like: an ever-present pull that would tug him into her mind if he didn't stop it. As often as not, he forgot and read her thoughts before he even realized what he was doing. Occasionally, he felt her in his mind doing the same thing, but he never mentioned it. Better not to upset the tenuous balance of their connection. A wrong move now could compromise any semblance of trust that she'd been able to develop.

He settled on a safe subject.

"Hold tight," he said. "I'm going to make the jump."


	10. Chapter 10: Rey

A/N: Hi everyone!

We finally made it to chapter 10- huzzah!

I wanted to thank everyone for the comments and kind words- I can't begin to say how much it means and how motivational it can be haha. For any who are interested, the idea for Rey's reaction to the holocron came from my research into infrasonic sound. It's a frequency below the range the human ear can detect and can cause some pretty neat reactions like feelings of unease and even nausea. Funny the things that inspire you...

ANYWHO-

This is more of a lighthearted chapter that I hope you all enjoy! Let me know what you think.

* * *

"Rey!"

Kylo had wedged himself against the wall of the _Silencer_ , both hands clinging tight to the cable running along the ceiling. Rey ignored his cry and leaned harder into the yoke, giving it a quick twist and spinning the craft out of the way of a floating asteroid.

" _Rey!_ "

"Keep quiet will you," she said. "I'm trying to concentrate."

"Slow down!"

"No way," she shot back at him. "I've seen the way you fly. This is nothing."

"Yes, but I'm in the pilot's seat when I fly like this. _Strapped in!_ "

Rey grinned and twisted hard, swinging the back end of the fighter around until she was facing in the opposite direction of seconds before. There was a satisfying thud behind her and a strong oath from Kylo.

"That's it," he said. "Flight training's over. Out of the pilot seat."

"But you promised an hour."

"That was before I knocked my head against the wall. I'm going to have a knot the size of a convor egg."

"You should have held on tighter."

"No, you should have slowed down."

Rey crossed her arms and refused to budge out of the seat. It had been a week since she'd arrived on the _Finalizer_ and a week since she'd last piloted anything. She wasn't about to give ground on this.

"Up," Kylo said, "or I'll pull you out."

That gave her pause, but she decided to call his bluff. She raised her chin a fraction of an inch and looked him dead in the eye.

"No. I'm staying put."

Her eyes widened as he took a step forward, arms reaching to pull her out of the pilot's seat. She scrambled out before he could touch her and he plopped down into it with a self-satisfied smile. Rey let out a low grumble of irritation and sat against the wall, back straight and head high.

"Do I get to fly again?" she asked.

"Not the _Silencer_."

Rey scowled.

"I didn't hurt it," she said, "Your thick head was the only thing that might have caused a dent."

"Be kind," he said, rubbing the sore spot on the back of his head.

They both jumped in surprise as Kylo's commlink went off in his pocket. He pulled it out and flicked it open, looking at the screen before he pressed the button to answer the call.

"Yes, Hux?" he asked, voice less than ingratiating.

"Where are you?" the man shouted.

Rey winced.

"I'm out on a flight," Kylo said.

"Please tell me you're not on a joyride with that scavenger."

"It's called flight training, Hux," Kylo said. "And she's my apprentice, so show some respect, will you."

"Yes, Supreme Leader."

Rey could hear the general's displeasure and stifled a laugh. She was learning to share Kylo's grim delight in aggravating Armitage Hux.

"You're needed on the bridge, so cut it short and get back here."

"Is that how you talk to your Supreme Leader?"

"Get back here, _sir._ "

"Better, Hux, but I don't approve of your tone. We'll be there in ten minutes."

There was a loud, exasperated exhalation and a muffled curse from the comm and the communication switched off. Kylo started to chuckle to himself as he piloted the craft back into the hangar on the underbelly of the _Finalizer_ and Rey had to bite back her own laughter. The animosity between the two was no secret and was something she'd noticed her first day aboard, but it did provide a few moments of amusement.

The _Silencer_ was just easing into its dock when Rey's ears caught a high whining noise and the ship wobbled. Kylo groaned and powered the craft down.

"Not again."

"What?"

"The far right thruster array sounds like it just went out again. This'll be the third time in a year."

Rey felt a wide grin stretching her face.

"Can I take a look at it?" she asked. "Please? I've always wanted to get my hands on a TIE."

"No."

"Please?" she begged. "I'll be careful, I promise."

"No."

"Come on," she whined, "I haven't picked through the innards of a machine in ages."

"You know you're not helping your case?"

"I only want to look," she lied. "Please? Under supervision from one of the mechanics?"

Kylo rolled his eyes to the ceiling, but finally relented.

"I've got to go see what Hux wants, but I'll send someone over so you can _look_. No touching."

Rey bounced on her heels, excitement rushing through her. Kylo returned the smile, obviously sensing her emotions. After only a week she was already growing familiar with his expressions and idiosyncrasies, immediately able to recognize his moods. It was good to see him happy, with less fear and anger than usual.

"Thank you," she said, already running for the back of the _Silencer_ to get a look at the ion thrusters.

She was just climbing on top of the fighter, examining the panels to see which ones she could detach to get at the thrusters when a new voice drifted up to her.

"Hello?" it called. "I was told to meet someone named Rey here?"

"That's me," Rey said, flinging herself on her stomach and dangling her head over the side of the fighter so the world went upside down.

She found herself nose to nose with a girl about her own age, short dark hair cropped close to her head, a gray mechanics uniform and heavy boots covering her from the neck down.

"Hi there."

The girl grinned and twitched her fingers in a little wave.

"Good to meet you," she said, "My name's LT-2758. I only just got here- transferred from the _Harbinger_ , you know?"

"The _Harbinger_?"

"Oh, it's another ship. We were in orbit over Takodana, but I was transferred here because the _Finalizer_ was a few mechanics short, with the attack and all."

Rey was a bit overwhelmed by the speed at which LT-2758 spoke. The girl hardly seemed to take a breath.

"So what kind of an ID is Rey? Have you been here long?" asked LT-2758, "Your hair isn't cut short- is regulation dress different on this ship?"

Rey blew several strands of hair off her forehead in exasperation. She could hardly get a word in edgewise; the girl was speaking so quickly. LT-2758 reminded her a little bit of Finn, so she smiled and shook her head.

"I don't have an ID, and I'm not a trooper."

"Stars," said LT-2758, "If you're not a trooper on this ship, what are you?"

Her face screwed up in an expression of vague concern.

"You're not an officer, are you?"

Rey shook her head.

"I'm just a passenger."

"A passenger?" asked LT-2758 incredulously, "On this ship?"

"I'm an apprentice."

LT-2758 laughed aloud.

"So, when you said you weren't an officer, you meant you aren't one yet."

"Something like that," Rey said with a grin. "You want to help me get this thing apart?"

"Sure. What's wrong with it?"

"Sounded like one of the ion thrusters."

LT-2758 whistled through her teeth.

"That won't be an easy fix."

"I know," Rey said. "Now pass me a wrench so I can pull off these access panels."

LT-2758 pulled a wrench out of a pocket and handed it up to her. Rey glanced down at the thruster arrays, found the one that had gone bad, and quickly unbolted the access panel above it. She lowered herself into the cramped space and began to feel around in the dark.

"You got a light?" she asked the mechanic.

"Sure."

LT-2758 flicked on a small torch and passed it to her. Rey gripped the light in her teeth and shone it around the guts of the fighter.

"This is impressive," she said, voice echoing up to LT-2758. "The reactor is a thing of beauty. Gives her all the speed she needs."

"What about the solar panels?"

"From what I can see they're for charging the laser cannons," Rey called back. "You have no idea how long I've wanted to pick one of these things apart."

"You're a mechanic too?"

"Of a sort," Rey shrugged. "Never trained, but I know my way around machines."

"What did you do before you became an apprentice?"

"I was nobody, really," Rey said. "I worked as a salvager."

It was her own word for scavenger and one she liked better. It made her think that she was rescuing bits and pieces of machines. She was the one that found them to give them a new home and a new purpose. That had been her purpose on Jakku and for the first time, in the depths of a TIE fighter engine, she felt at home on the _Finalizer_.

"Start her up," she said, "I need to see her running."

LT-2758 swung into the cabin and started up the craft.

"Power up the thrusters!" Rey shouted over the noise of the engine.

There was a pause and then an electric cable began to throw sparks in all directions.

"Cut power! Cut power!" she shouted. "You're about to fry another array!"

The cable stopped sparking and the _Silencer_ sank back down to the flight deck, quieting as LT-2758 cut the engines.

Rey examined the cables, wrinkling her nose at the acrid smell of burning electronics.

"They don't make things like they used to," she muttered to herself, loosening the cable and inspecting the end.

The plastic had long since been melted away and the exposed strands inside were blackened.

"You were a step away from an engine fire, Kylo Ren," she muttered, twisting the offending piece in her fingers.

The wire gave a sudden spark in her hand and she felt as though something kicked her hard in the chest. She sat down with a thump, gasping for air.

"LT-2758!"

"Sorry!" came the answering shout, "I bumped the lever."

"You could have killed me."

"I said I was sorry," the girl said, peering down through the hole in the ceiling.

Rey grumbled out a response and tossed the cable aside, studying the back of the thruster arrays.

"It looks like it's the electric cable," she said. "It's probably been short circuiting for some time, and with unreliable power it doesn't surprise me that the thruster is junk."

She nudged the back of the array with her boot and sighed.

"We've got our work cut out for us."

"Sure do," LT-2758 smiled. "So let's get started."

"Do we even have the parts?"

"You're kidding," the mechanic said. "We've got enough parts for this thing to build it twice over."

Rey grinned. That was a welcome change from Jakku, when she had to go scavenge for parts and more often than not, come back empty handed.

"I'm going to need tools, and a lot of them," Rey said.

"I'll go grab the box."

"Parts?"

"I'll have them brought over."

"Thanks."

Rey ducked back into the dark little space in the bowels of the _Silencer_ and began to run her fingers over the wires, tracing the thick tangles back to their origins at the array.

"What a mess," she muttered, crawling among the cables and pipes, scooting on her stomach to get at the lowest bolts.

Using her fingers and the wrench, she worked the electric cables free one by one and threw them behind her into a pile. The sudden slam of a metal box full of tools landing on the floor made her jump.

"Ow!" she howled as the back of her head connected with the casing that surrounded the hyperdrive.

"Sorry!" came the response.

"LT-" she broke off with a curse. "I can't remember that many numbers. I'm calling you something else."

"Like what?" asked the girl, seeming to be startled by the suggestion.

"What about…" Rey rolled the letters around in her head, listening to their sounds. "What about Lita?"

That made LT-2758 stop with her mouth half open.

"Lita?"

"Why not?" Rey asked, rubbing her skull. "Short, sweet, sounds like your ID."

The girl gave her a half smile.

"I've never gotten a nickname before."

"So?" Rey asked, "I've had a few over my lifetime and haven't liked any of them."

"I like it."

"Well, that's good," Rey said, stretching back to reach a wrench.

Lita shook her head.

"No, you don't understand," she said. "You get a nickname when you're part of a team. When people care enough to give you something more personal than letters and numbers."

"Oh," Rey said, not sure whether she wanted to be a team with the mechanic. "I didn't know."

"I'm not terribly good at making friends," said Lita. "I had a few on the _Harbinger_ , but with the transfer, it's hard to keep in touch."

She eyed Rey and carefully thrust out her hand.

"I think you probably need a friend too, don't you," she asked.

Images of Kylo Ren darted through Rey's mind before she could stop them. He was her Master, she reminded herself, not her friend. And Lita was right. She could use a friend.

Rey gripped the mechanic's hand and shook it.

"I think I'd like to be your friend, Lita," she said. "As long as you promise to stop trying to send me to the med bay."

Lita grinned.

"It's a deal."


	11. Chapter 11: Kylo

A/N: Well, better late than never I suppose haha...

Sorry for the delay folks, I was out of town last week and didn't have access to the internet. That being said- here's chapter 11! It's a little shorter, but I hope you all enjoy it anyway.

* * *

"General."

"Supreme Leader."

There was a tense silence before the general turned to a holographic display of a star system.

"Recognize this?"

"Of course," he said. "That's Crait. If I knew you needed help with navigation I would have brought you a star map."

Hux's face went red and Kylo wondered if the man might actually blow a blood vessel. He seemed to struggle with himself for a second before the color drained out of his cheeks and his expression settled into one of unamused calm.

"It is Crait," he said.

"So, if we both know it's Crait, why are you wasting my time? I'm a busy man."

Hux glanced at him from the corner of his eyes.

"Busy with your new apprentice, perhaps?" he said, one corner of his mouth quirked up in the smallest of smirks.

It was Kylo's turn to go red. He knew Hux was trying to needle him into a reaction, but he couldn't help the anger that crept into his chest. It took everything in him to give his general a civil response.

"She is learning," he said. "It is fascinating to watch her growing in her abilities."

"Is that all?"

"Yes," he said, teeth clenched to keep his tongue from coming loose and telling the man what he really thought about his insinuations. "Now, I presume you called me here for more than a session of verbal sparring, so I suggest you get on with it before I lose my temper."

Hux smoothed the already pristine front of his uniform and nodded.

"Very well," he said. "The Resistance vanished from the system only a few hours ago. We picked up their ships just before they made the jump to hyperspace."

"They left a few hours ago, and you only think to tell me now?" Kylo shouted, his temper finally getting the better of him.

"With all due respect, sir," Hux muttered, "you haven't exactly made yourself available for any kind of discussion on the matter."

"You didn't even try to seek me out until half an hour ago. By your own admission, they've been gone for hours."

"I can't tell you anything when you're with your apprentice. I don't trust her."

"Well, I do," spat Kylo. "She wouldn't betray me."

"You can't know that."

"I can, and I do," he said. "You know how I feel about this Hux. From now on you contact me whether I'm with her or not.

Hux folded his arms and glowered. Kylo scowled back, angry with the man, but angrier with himself for butting heads. He let out a breath and rolled his neck until he was looking toward the ceiling.

"Look, Hux, just tell me why you commed me."

"I've already told you."

"But there's something else, isn't there?"

Hux didn't speak for a long minute.

"When we track them down, I want to set up a meeting," he finally said. "to negotiate a surrender."

"Not ours I hope," Kylo said, letting his sarcasm flow easily.

"Of course it won't be ours," snapped Hux.

"I thought you wanted them wiped from the galaxy."

"I've given it some thought and I feel a surrender would be…mutually beneficial," the general said after a slight pause.

"So what do you want me to do? You're the general. You're the negotiator, not me."

"But you have what they want."

Confused, Kylo opened his mouth, about to ask what he meant when realization hit him.

"Rey?"

"Exactly. You take her with you. If you're right that she's so important to them, she'll aid your efforts."

"Why? And why me? I don't negotiate treaties. Military does."

"You do now," said Hux, face set in stone.

"You seek to dictate me?"

"Only in this. For the good of the First Order, I humbly request that you be the one to negotiate the surrender."

Kylo let out his frustration in a growl. Everything in him screamed to reject the offer. Every instinct said Hux was setting a trap. But what could he do? His eyes drifted to Phasma where she stood guarding the door. If he refused, what would Hux do? If he played along, how long would it be before he was caught in the snare? Would Rey be caught with him?

Who was he fooling? If Hux had it out for him, Rey would be the next to fall. She needed his protection until she could stretch out with her own power and fight for herself. She was growing strong, but her abilities were not yet at their zenith. Even he was weaker than he had once thought. The holocron had revealed as much.

He threw a quick glance around the room, marking each man and woman. Perhaps he could take down Hux and Phasma, but then what? He couldn't destroy Hux's entire army and if Hux were killed, they would not deal kindly with either him or his apprentice. There were enough rabid dogs in the chain of command for one to quickly rise to take Hux's place. Kylo had thought that killing Snoke would solve the worst of his problems, but he now saw that it had only put him in place to become a puppet. Already he felt the strings tightening around his neck.

"Very well, Hux," he said. "We'll go."

The general gave him a thin smile, and Kylo felt a chill run down his spine. When had he become so afraid of this man? His fingers flexed instinctively, and he fought the urge to access the Force. It wasn't just his life at stake now. Rey's hung in the balance as well.

When had that become so important?

As he left the bridge, Kylo could feel the eyes of Hux and Phasma on him. The hair on the back of his neck stood straight until he was well down the hall and out of their line of sight. He ducked into a supply closet and shut the door behind him, breathing a sigh of relief as he shut out the chaos. The close, dark space was a comfort, even if it did smell like cleaning chemicals. He slumped against the wall and rested his head in his hands.

What was he trying to accomplish anyway? He didn't know the first thing about running a government. Sure, he'd watched his mother performing her duties for the Senate, but how much could a child really absorb? Already he was tangled in Hux's net. He hadn't even made it a month.

"Kylo? You alright?"

The voice broke the silence before he realized the bond had opened. Rey sat across from him, her knees nearly touching his.

"I'm fine," he said.

"You're lying," she said. "Where are you?"

"A supply closet."

She eyed him skeptically and he felt her probing into his mind, searching his thoughts.

"Get out, Rey," he said, warning her with his tone.

Her expression didn't change, but he sensed her frustration.

"I'm only trying to help," she said.

"I know."

"How's Hux?" she asked.

She was trying to get him to talk and they both knew it.

"His usual irritating self."

"Oh, come on Ren, you've got to give me more than that."

"Not right now," he said. "Someone could be listening."

Rey studied him.

"That bad?"

"Probably."

"Fine," she said, pulling her knees to her chest and resting her chin on them.

She looked so small, curled in on herself as she was. So small and so alone, but he could read her emotions and, for the first time since she'd arrived, he sensed happiness and a deep contentment running through her. It had even managed to eclipse the sorrow that still clung doggedly to her mind.

"You seem… happy," he tried.

He was rewarded with a small smile.

"I am."

"Enjoying looking around the TIE?"

Rey's face broke into a grin.

"Oh yeah," she said. "She's beautiful! I've only gotten a quick look at the stealth gear, but it's like nothing I've ever seen."

"They've been developing it for years. She's the first craft to have one installed."

"Does it work?"

Kylo smirked.

"You're kidding," he said, "I managed to pilot out from under the hyperspace tracker on the _Supremacy_ with that system."

Rey gaped.

"Stars!" she whispered. "What the Resistance would've given for something like that."

Kylo felt the sting of her words, though she hadn't meant them to hurt. She had simply been stating a truth that brought him pain. He could no more blame her for that than he could blame her for the contempt he held for the light side, or the fear so ingrained that he could only see his world through its warped lens. He could only blame himself for that. And he did blame himself.

Daily.

"Kylo?"

Her hand was reaching for him, fingers almost resting against his. But she held herself back. She was just close enough to bring a measure of comfort, but she came no closer. She was waiting for him to meet her; leaving the decision to reveal his mind to her with him alone. It shamed him to remember how he'd pushed her to let him into her thoughts, but he still didn't make a move to touch her. He didn't want her in his head.

She'd already seen his memory of the day his father died. She'd already felt his pain. He wasn't about to saddle her with any more of the burdens he carried on shoulders weighed down by the galaxy. He would have to tell her about Hux, but he'd rather do that when she was really before him, not merely an illusion.

"I'm fine," he said. "I just don't feel like talking."

Rey withdrew her hands and gave him a small nod. Her eyes fixed on his face and did not flinch away. He shifted uncomfortably as they seemed to drill into him. They were utterly still, staring at one another. Kylo sighed and ran his hands across his face, effectively breaking the moment. When he looked up again, Rey was gone.

He let out another long sigh and stood up, opened the door and ducked out of the supply closet. Mind otherwise occupied, his feet found their own way back to the lift and, after a short rest, out into the hangar. He only snapped out of his musings when he saw the _Silencer_. Parts lay scattered across the floor, and he could make out a gaping hole in the back of the craft where one of the thruster arrays had been removed. He froze.

 _Rey._

"I'm going to kill her for sure this time," he snarled.


	12. Chapter 12: Rey

A/N: *screeches in sideways on two wheels* "I'm BAAaack!"

Despite a busy week and working ahead on chapter 13 (which has lived up to the superstition and been an absolute pain in the backside to write), I am nevertheless posting on time this week! Thanks to everyone who has been reading and for all the nice comments. Thanks again to FenrisInside who has been helping me straighten out chapters past, present, and future.

This chapter was really fun to write and I hope you all enjoy it. Let me know what you think in the comments!

* * *

Rey was up to her elbows in grease and trying to sort out a tangle of wires when Lita's shout rang through the TIE.

"Hey, Rey?"

"Busy."

"You might want to get up here," came the answering call, and this time Rey detected a shrill pitch of anxiety. "Now."

Rey sighed, shoved a cable between her teeth to keep it separated from the pile, and poked her head out of the ship. Her eyes immediately went to the dark figure with the thunderous expression on his face who was stalking across the hangar straight towards her.

"Oh sithspit."

"Rey!" came the angry shout.

A sudden image of Unkar Plutt flashed across her mind. Rey closed her eyes tight as the memories flooded back. She remembered picking through engines with grease covered fingers, crawling in dark spaces to hide as Plutt bellowed her name. On instinct, she ducked back into the opening and began to worm her way between the wires, still clinging fast to the one in her mouth, too stubborn to lose the end again even as she tried to vanish in the gloom.

"Rey, if you're not up here in five seconds, I'm coming in to pull you out by your collar."

Rey flinched. With hesitant movements, she disentangled herself and stood up to face him.

"Yes, Kylo?"

"I thought I said not to touch anything."

Rey cast a quick glance around at the scattered tools and parts. Lita stood in the middle of it all, staring up at them, face pale and body shaking from head to foot in fear.

"I was just fixing-"

"I told you not to touch anything."

She swallowed her fear, crossed her arms and scowled.

"You can't possibly expect me to pass up-"

"I expect you to respect me enough to listen when I ask you not to do something. You lied to me."

"But I'm fixing-"

"You don't know when to quit, do you?" he spat.

Rey's anger surged up and began to rumble in her ears. Her fists clenched at her sides and she drew herself up to her full height, spine stiff as a rod. Her hand went to her belt and the saber that hung there. Kylo was faster. The hilt of her weapon made a snapping noise against his palm.

"You'll have to be faster than that," he said.

Rey stood stock still, pulling air through her clenched teeth as she fought to control her fury. It had been a long time since the emotion had run so strong in her. Not since before she had awakened to the Force had she been so angry. Not since Jakku. Not since her days working under Unkar Plutt's thumb. She threw down the cord in her hand and hoisted herself out of the hole at Kylo's feet. She shouldered past him and slid down the side of the _Silencer_ , marching in the opposite direction.

Kylo stalked after her.

"I'm not done with you yet," he shouted.

Rey turned around and flashed a gesture the universal equivalent of "shove it".

He swore at her back and she heard the sound of his running feet. She picked up her own pace, darting through the crowd of mechanics and stormtroopers. The crowds of the Jakku marketplaces had given her expertise in disappearing among many bodies, but Kylo seemed to know where she was going before she did. Before she knew it, she was in a full sprint across the hangar bay, only a few steps ahead of her Master.

"Leave me _alone_!" she shouted, spinning to face him and throwing up her hands.

The Force rippled in waves of sound around her and Kylo fell backwards, the blow catching him full in the chest. He lay gasping as she whipped around and took off through the halls, making straight for her apartments.

As soon as she reached them, she darted in through the door and at once went to the access panel. With a few keystrokes, she removed Kylo's palmprint from the system. She wasn't going to let him in again. Not for a long time. She felt as if she were boiling over. Her fury wouldn't allow her to remain still, and she paced from one end of her living quarters to the other, circling around and around, fingers tapping restlessly against her thigh.

How had things changed so quickly? When the bond had brought her to Kylo, he had spoken to her with kindness- something she was still getting used to. But it had all shifted when he'd seen her working on the _Silencer_. She bit her lip. If she were honest, her own stubbornness had not helped the situation, and her anger was doing less, even as she was unwilling to release it. Her pride was wounded and she clung stubbornly to the one emotion that eased the pain of it.

A fist began to pound against her door.

"Go away!"

"Open the door, Rey," said Kylo's tired voice.

"No," she shot back. "I don't want to talk to you."

There was a growl of frustration from the other side of the door.

"What if I said I was sorry for shouting at you?"

"You don't sound sorry."

"Well, I am," he said. "We've got enough to worry about without fighting each other."

She could hear the remorse in his voice and woven through his emotions as easily as she sensed her own. When had he become so easy to read? Her anger drained away as quickly as it had risen. Everything was so new here. So strange and terrifying. Maintaining control was getting more difficult by the day. It seemed like an eternity since she'd listened for the light side, though it had only been a few hours at most.

She leaned against the door and slid down until she was sitting, knees pulled to her chest, head tilted back to stare up at the ceiling.

"What do you want, Kylo?"

"For you to open the door."

"No."

"I've said it before and I'll say it again, Rey," he said. "You're too stubborn for your own good."

She felt the door shudder behind her and guessed that Kylo had seated himself against the other side.

"What are you doing?"

"Out-stubborning you. I'm staying put until you open the door."

"What?"

"You heard me."

"I'm not going to open the door."

"Then I'm not going to move," Kylo said.

Rey rolled her eyes toward the ceiling and huffed out a long breath of air. She got up and began to poke around the room, collecting pieces of scattered clothing and dumping them into a pile. It was strange to have more than one set of clothes. She still wasn't used to it.

"Still here!" came the shout from the other side of the door.

She ignored him and settled on the sofa, flopping onto her side and stuffing a pillow under her head. She closed her eyes and tried to relax, exhausted from her rage and a morning of playing grease monkey. She was on the verge of falling asleep when Kylo started to pound on the door. Rey groaned and shoved the pillow over her ears. The pounding only got louder.

"Let me in Rey!"

When she ignored him, he started to probe at her mind. He was pacing her wall, trying to draw her out from behind it. Finally fed up, Rey slung her legs over the side of the sofa and marched across to the door, slapping the button to open the door.

" _What?_ "

"We need to talk."

"We are talking."

"I know you're mad, but will you let me in, please?"

Rey crossed her arms and planted her feet, taking up most of the doorway. They both knew he could shove past her if he wanted to, but he didn't make a move to do so. Her mounting anger eased by a fraction.

"Look, I'm sorry I shouted," he said. "I have a lot of things on my mind right now."

"Like what?"

Kylo ran his hands through his hair and glanced behind her at the sofa.

"This would really be easier if we were both sitting."

Rey didn't move. They faced off for an awkward second before he finally rolled his eyes.

"Fine," he said. "I guess we'll both just stand here like two stubborn younglings."

Rey couldn't help the grin that quirked the corner of her mouth. It was amusing to imagine herself as a child glaring down a young Kylo Ren, several years older and probably several inches taller than her own small frame. It wasn't much different in reality. The last of the anger that clung to her released its grip.

"Just tell me what's going on," she said.

"The Resistance slipped out from under the First Order's nose. They're not on Crait anymore."

"Really?"

Rey didn't try to fight the smile that stretched across her face. Joy spread through her, warming her to the core and sending a warbling song bubbling out into the air. Even though she had left them behind, her friends in the Resistance often occupied her mind. It was a relief to hear they had escaped.

It vanished as soon as the next words left Kylo's tongue.

"When we find them again, Hux wants us to negotiate their surrender."

"What?" Rey said, hardly believing her ears. "What do you mean surrender?"

"You know what surrender means, Rey. You're important enough to the Resistance that Hux thinks they'll give up if you're there."

Rey shook her head, grinding her teeth at the unfairness of the request. The dark song of her anger had returned, stronger and fiercer than ever.

"I'm only here to learn the ways of the Force from you. I want nothing to do with the First Order."

Kylo looked like he just managed to hold back a sharp reply.

"Like it or not, you're in it," he said, after a calming breath. "You're my apprentice. You became a part of this when you made your promise."

Rey bristled.

"I didn't know you wanted to use me as a pawn," she said.

"We're all pawns," he replied, his face sagging in exhaustion. "I don't like it any more than you do, trust me."

Rey fought with herself and the terrible constricting fury that wrapped around her chest. Fear poured in in an equal measure and she closed her eyes, concentrating on finding the light to assuage it. The music of the planet beneath them drew her out among the stars and a familiar peace settled over her.

"What are you listening to?"

His question startled her. Her eyes flew open to meet his.

"The Force," she said, surprised. "Can't you hear it?"

Kylo arched a brow.

"You can hear the Force?"

Rey closed her eyes and concentrated. The thrum of Kylo's darkness hummed next to her, almost vibrating her bones it was so low. She stretched a little farther and sensed the notes of the stormtroopers. A little further again and she heard D'Qar and then the stars begin to sing out through the void around them. Planets spun and threw out so many melodies she couldn't make sense of them all. Every being, every plant, every molecule of dust and stone, every element on every world harmonized and became a great chorus to fill her ears. How had he never heard it? She smiled faintly.

"Always." she said. "I can hear it always. Light and Dark. Life and death."

The more she listened, the more peace flooded into her. After a few seconds, she was so full of it that it almost seemed as if it were bleeding out of her. There was a low gasp and she cracked an eye. The great Kylo Ren, the Supreme Leader of the galaxy was trembling. Confusion wafted off of him, curling through her consciousness like smoke.

"What are you sensing?" she asked, already knowing the answer.

"Something I haven't felt for a long time." he answered in a quiet voice. "Not since I was a child."

"What's that?" she asked.

Kylo Ren's face turned to stone as his confusion turned to recognition and then an angry resolve.

"Stop it."

"Stop what?" she asked.

"Stop listening." he snapped. "The bond is stretching too far."

Rey blinked as she came fully back to reality. What had happened to anger him now? His emotions seemed to swing from one extreme to the next with little provocation. But hadn't she felt the same since she first listened to the dark side? Wasn't it more difficult, even now, for her to rein herself in?

"You can't possibly expect me not to listen, Kylo," she said. "This is how I know the Force- how I touch it and how it runs through me. It's how I steady myself when my mind is overwhelming."

"That feeling," ground out Kylo through clenched teeth, "is not true. Peace is a lie Skywalker concocted to weaken you. It will leave you empty."

Rey stared up at the black swathed figure and set her jaw.

"Tell me Kylo," she said, sensing the darkness of her rage trying to boil up again. "did you feel peace?"

"Yes."

Kylo's eyes flicked to her and the corner of his mouth edged upward in something like a smirk. She knew he sensed her flaring temper and the way it pulled her towards the dark. The notes of the strange anger that swirled around him pulled at her as well, trying to drag her down into Chaos.

"Did you feel it as strongly as you feel anger?"

"Yes."

"Hate?"

"Yes."

"Then is not peace an emotion?" she asked, meeting his dark eyes and refusing to flinch away, "And haven't your masters always taught you to embrace emotion to grow stronger in the Force?"

"What's your point?"

Rey gave a bitter laugh.

"The point is, Kylo, that life is perhaps not as absolute as you and Luke Skywalker would have me believe."

Kylo seemed to pause.

"Tell me again, what was the Sith code?" asked Rey, throwing sarcasm into every word. "Before the old things died away."

"Peace is a lie, there is only passion-" began Kylo.

Rey held up a hand to stop him.

"You may not be a Sith, but I can tell that you hold that one claim to be true. Yet you sense peace within me. If emotion is your cornerstone, then how can you call this one a lie?"

Kylo looked as if he wanted to argue but couldn't think of anything to say. Rey just closed her eyes again and let herself fall into the music, welcoming the peace it brought. But she held herself back from sinking too far. In the vast sea of music that surrounded her, she only stood up to her ankles, allowing the waves to wash over her and sweep away her anger.

"The Force will free you, Kylo Ren, as you once hoped." she said, "But it might not be in the way you expect."

Rey opened her eyes again. It seemed as if her words had stunned him. His anger had vanished as rapidly as it had surged into existence. He looked lost and uncertain. Still tamping down her own feelings, Rey lifted her chin and spun on her heel, heading for the door to her room.

"Wait-"

She turned just in time for Kylo's hand to close around her wrist. Her mouth went dry with the warm pressure of his hand against her skin and an emotion she hadn't felt since Ahch-To started to coil in her stomach, sending blood into her face. Sudden anger with herself for being weak and foolish flowed with it. Never mind what she felt- she had better sense than to let her guard slip for the touch of another being. She'd survived years without it and she would survive now. She did not need Kylo Ren. She would not- no, she _could_ not need Kylo Ren. The naïve hope she'd carried that he would turn again to the light and stand by her side had vanished. In the end, she would have to stand on her own as she'd always done.

She pulled her wrist from his fingers and scrubbed it against her trousers, trying to rid herself of the faint tingle of electricity working up her arm and down into her fingers.

"What do you want, Ren?"

"What does it sound like?" he asked.

"What does what sound like?"

"The Force." he said, rolling his eyes. "What else would I be talking about?"

At any other time, she might have been tempted to give him a serious answer. But not now.

Rey felt a sardonic grin lifting the corners of her mouth.

"You know that really annoying song they always play in the cantinas, that's been around for 30 years or so?"

"Yes." said Kylo, looking uncertain.

"That's what it sounds like." she said, then shut the door in his face.

From the far side, there was a long pause before she made out the barest hint of a chuckle.


	13. Chapter 13: Kylo

A/N: Thanks to everybody for sticking with me so far. I know it's been slow for the last few chapters, but it'll pick up here before too long, so don't give up hope! Also, there may be something of a brief hiatus as work is going to take over my life this week. I'll try to work on future chapters in the next week or two and maintain something of the same posting schedule, but it depends on how fast the writing goes and how much work ends up coming home with me. Stay posted!

* * *

Kylo stood outside Rey's door, an absurd grin on his face, wondering how he could be laughing when Hux had him right where he wanted him and Snoke was still alive. Maybe it was the peace that clung to the edges of a mind still raw from anger and fear. Rey's peace. Not his. He craved what he could never have.

How typical.

He left her rooms and went to his own, heading straight for the chest at the foot of his bed. It had been tugging at his mind all day and his conversation with Hux brought it to the forefront of his thoughts. With a wave of his hand, the lock snapped open. He knelt next to the chest to reach into the dark space and pulled out a small package wrapped in several layers of cloth. As he untied them, they fell away to reveal the holocron.

He ran his fingers over the crystalline sides and turned it over and over, studying the curious writing. A strange language in a strange script he had no way to decipher. His thoughts turned with the pyramid, wondering what the words would tell him if he could only read them.

He almost groaned aloud when he realized how foolish he was being. In his palm, he held a knowledge so vast that he could not even begin to fathom its depths. All he had to do was ask. Even so, there was a hesitation within him- a holding back from the desire to open the device again. Maybe it was Rey, or maybe it was the light pulling at him again, as it had done for years. Maybe it was both. But he had brushed away he pull so often before that it was easy now, and he did it without thinking.

The holocron flickered to life in his hands. Darth Bane stood before him, saber ignited at his side.

"Welcome, young knight of Ren. What would you ask of me?"

"What do the glyphs on this holocron say?"

"You cannot read the ancient texts?" asked the image, "Your Master did not teach you?"

"No."

"Then it seems he failed you in his position as Master."

"He failed me in many ways," Kylo said. "This is the least of them. Now, tell me what I want to know."

"In umbris potestas est," said Bane's image.

"In the shadows, there is power?" Kylo asked, a distant recollection of learning the language passing through his mind.

"Yes," said the holocron, "and it is all you need remember."

"How is 'in umbris potestas est' going to help me understand a language I've never seen before?"

"The same way it helps a Sith cast lightening or twist the minds of their enemies to see strange visions. Draw on the shadows to understand. The power of knowledge will come."

"You're telling me to access the dark side," he said, more stating fact than asking.

"What else did you think I would tell you?"

Kylo pursed his lips and scowled. Darth Bane was turning out to be more sarcastic than he'd ever expected a legendary Sith lord to be.

He squinted at the glyphs on the holocron and tugged on his rising frustration. The dark side rose around him, cold against his skin. He shivered and stared harder at the inscriptions on the pyramid. Slowly, the strange images began to take shape in his mind, resolving themselves into understandable words and phrases. He blinked, surprised, as he found he could make out the script.

A deepening chill gripped him as he read the strange words beneath his fingers. Dark spells spiraled up from base of the pyramid, coiling like snakes to the apex. They were what poured the darkness into the holocron and what kept it from disintegrating into dust. They seemed to be of a darkness somehow deeper than his own- an evil more ancient than the farthest recollections of men. He scrambled to the chest and pulled out the scrolls he'd taken from the _Supremacy_.

His eyes skimmed over the lines of script, mind struggling to absorb their meaning. It was written in a bold hand with broad strokes of the pen. The style of speech was odd, and the words were written right to left, but he could make it out if he concentrated. The scrolls appeared to be a record of observations- a journal of a sort. He found a scrawl at the bottom of the scroll. Bane's signature. The temperature in the room seemed to drop as he read. His blood ran cold in his veins. The ancient glyphs under his fingers spoke of a horror he had heard of but had not yet experienced.

Bane told of a consuming darkness that ate away at the deepest parts of himself until its effects corrupted his body. He told of years of endless pain that drove his power to new heights and his soul into a living Chaos. In the end, it had all but destroyed him and nearly consumed his link to the Force. Yet always, Kylo noticed, the man seemed to care only for his burgeoning abilities, not the price he paid for them. Strange.

"The dark side demands sacrifice," he said aloud to the holocron.

"Yes."

Luke had warned him about the cost of the dark side long ago when he was little more than a youngling, but reading it in a stranger's writing on an ancient vellum somehow made more of an impression. As he drew on it, the darkness was consuming him. Given time, it would wear away his sinews and gnaw at his bones like a disease. He could sense it on the edges of himself, even now. The very first threads were beginning to fray.

"There is a way to reverse the effects," said Bane's holocron when Kylo didn't respond.

He couldn't help the rush of relief so strong it made his head spin.

"How?" he asked, a strange desperation clawing at him. "I need to know how."

Darth Bane crossed his arms.

"You draw from another," he explained. "Their life energy can sustain you."

"How?"

"You cut their connection with life and the Force. It creates a death you can feed upon to strengthen yourself. The pain of using the dark side vanishes and you are healed of the damage it causes."

The instant revulsion was a surprise, but it did nothing to lessen the strength of the emotion. Kylo recoiled, disgust painting his features.

"That would be a desecration," he said. "To sever another's ties with the Force? That is the ultimate death! I could never condemn another to that fate."

"You would still cling to the weakness that kills you?" thundered the hologram, making Kylo wince. "Your compassion will be your downfall. You will wither and die- consumed by the dark side and relegated to Chaos. First your mind and then your body. There is no escape."

The way Bane's image said the words, face expressionless and voice devoid of emotion, froze Kylo's blood. He remembered similar words on Snoke's lips, spewed like venom in his face, burdening his young shoulders

"So be it," he spat back at the flickering image.

Kylo flung the pyramid away from him, sending it in an arch across the room to hit with a solid _crack_ against the far wall. It didn't break, but it shut off with a flash of blue light. He sat, staring at it and wishing he'd never even heard of the cursed thing. The knowledge of what would happen to him sat like a stone in his stomach and his mind buzzed with fear. He had long ago turned from the light and now he was paying the price. It would not return to him and his life would end in darkness. His eternity, too, would be spent in the night. He had abandoned the light and now it had abandoned him. The pull he felt deep within his spirit was towards Rey, not to the light side. How could it be otherwise? There was no hope for him- he who had turned his back on everything he'd once known and everyone he'd once loved. No hope.

Except Rey.

Even as he closed the holocron and drew away from its oppressive darkness, he could feel her presence in the Force. She was still angry, but it had faded until he could scarcely sense it. There was light in her, but at the same time a familiar cold dark as well. She was confused and uncertain and beginning to waver in her convictions. It was the oscillation of the Force within her, a tipping back and forth at the very edge of sense, that told him of her peril.

If he couldn't save himself, he would save Rey. He'd spent too many days pushing her to use the dark side; to bind herself to the same part of the Force he drew from. The horror of what he had encouraged her to become gripped him and his stomach turned. If she fell to the dark side, she would suffer his fate and the darkness would take her forever. It seemed so against the bouncing, hopeful nature he was coming to admire in his apprentice.

No, it was more than admiration. It had been more than admiration almost from the beginning.

What did it matter if she remained in the light? It was enough that she was with him, learning to use the Force at his side. He would no longer ask her to join him in the shadows. His mind settled with the decision, and a guilt he hadn't known he'd been carrying slid from him like a weight. He should have let her go back to the Resistance, but it was too late for that now. At the very least he would keep her safe beside him. It was an oath he swore to himself.

She would be safe, even if it cost him his life.

He carefully bound the holocron up in the cloth before nestling it back in the chest and closing the lid. His hands trembled as he clicked the lock shut. The desire to lash out at something was growing in him again. It had been several days since the overwhelming panic had seized him, but it was back in full force. He closed his eyes and tried to keep his breathing calm and even. Luke had taught him this. Focus.

 _Center yourself, Ben._

He flinched as the memory took hold, the pain of his old name burning like a brand.

A growl left him and his fingers closed around the hilt of his lightsaber. He was on the verge of striking out when the long-range holoprojector on his desk went off. It startled him out of the spiral into the dark side, pulling him from his conflicting emotions and thoughts back into reality.

He reached out with the Force from across the room and flicked it on.

A hologram of a large man with dark skin and dark hair pulled back in a tangle of braids appeared above the projector. In spite of himself, Kylo had to give a small smile.

"Cy?" he asked, "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

Cy, the first knight to have joined him, his second in command, and the closest thing he had to a brother, laughed.

"Kylo Ren, you son of a bantha!" he said, "It's been too long! If I didn't know better, I'd think you were avoiding us."

Kylo gave his friend a sheepish grin and rubbed the back of his neck.

"I've been a little…preoccupied," he said, as thoughts of Rey darted through his mind.

Cy chuckled.

"I forgot- you're the Emperor of the whole galaxy now. Keeping you busy, is it?"

Kylo snorted.

"Not Emperor. Supreme Leader."

"Not much difference between the two," Cy said. "How you managed to weasel your way into ruling the entirety of the known universe, I'll never know."

"I didn't weasel my way into anything and you know it."

Cy just snorted. A second later, a second figure appeared in the hologram. This one was a woman with hair as pale as starlight. She was tall and strong, but he knew from memory that she moved with the grace of a tusk cat.

"Are you alright, Kylo?" she asked, leaning closer as if it would help her get a better look at his face. "You look like death warmed over."

"I've just got a lot on my mind," he said, forcing the smile wider. "How are you, little sister?"

The woman crossed her arms and scowled.

"You really can't resist calling me that, can you?"

"I thought you liked it."

"When I was thirteen. It's not quite as endearing a decade later."

"Too bad," he said, "you're stuck with it for life, _little sister_."

Mela rolled her eyes to the ceiling and let out a sigh of exasperation. Cy gave a low chuckle, but his face quickly went grave.

"Something's up, Kylo."

"How do you mean?"

"There have been ripples in the Force for the last week. Both the dark and light sides have been busy," said Mela.

"There's a new presence," Cy said. "One we've sensed for a few weeks now."

"That isn't the only thing," said Mela. "I keep having strange dreams I cannot interpret. Nothing clearly, only shadows and light, but I sense a great darkness thinly veiled."

Kylo gave one short nod.

"I know."

"You _know_?" asked Mela, incredulous.

"It's Snoke."

"What do you mean, it's Snoke?" asked Cy. "He's dead."

"By my own hand," said Kylo. "But he learned the secret ways of the Sith and possessed another. He's in hiding, but I don't know where. My apprentice and I are on the watch. I ask you both to warn the others and keep your guard up. You know well the ruthless opponent he can be."

Cy clenched his lips tight and nodded. Kylo remembered the twisting pink scars that stood out against the deep brown skin of his friend's back. Mela, too, bore scars. Oh yes, they knew how ruthless Snoke could be.

"Where did he learn that cursed ritual?"

Kylo took a deep breath before he answered.

"A holocron," he said. "Darth Bane's."

Cy's sharp inhalation told Kylo of his friend's excitement.

"Darth Bane's holocron?" squawked Mela. "It was lost to the galaxy ages ago. How did Snoke get his greedy hands on it?"

"I have no idea," he said. "We found it in his quarters."

"Have you opened it?" asked Cy.

"Yes, a few times."

"Have you learned anything? Any abilities or blueprints? Anything we can use against Snoke?"

"Not yet. I'm working at it, but it won't allow access to everything."

"Wouldn't Decha and Taryn love to get their hands on that thing," muttered Cy.

"They would, but I want you all to stand to your posts. The last thing I want is for all of us to be in the same place at the same time."

"Very well," said Cy, bowing his head slightly as he deferred to his leader's judgment. "But I want a look at that thing."

"Fine," Kylo shrugged. "I'll bring it with me the next time I visit."

"Which will be when?"

"I don't know," Kylo said. "I've got a lot going on right now. Keeping Hux corralled is enough as it is, but now I'm also responsible for Rey."

"Rey?" He could almost imagine Mela's ears perking up like a dog's at the mention of his apprentice's name. "Who's Rey?"

 _Oh no._

"My apprentice," he said aloud, "and the new presence you sense in the Force."

"What?" asked Cy.

"When were you going to tell us?" Mela asked, eyes narrowing.

Kylo lifted his shoulders in a shrug.

"I already mentioned her, you both weren't listening."

"She should be training here with us and the rest of the younglings," said Mela. "You shouldn't keep a little girl anywhere near that scoundrel of a general. You should know better, Kylo Ren."

Kylo's chuckle turned into a true laugh after a few seconds of trying to hold it in.

"She's not a little girl," he said. "She woke to the Force much later than most."

"How much later?"

"Late enough that she wouldn't be in any of the classes you teach, little sister. If she had woken as a child, she might have been one of us, or she might have been among the dead. Probably the latter, if I know her spirit, and by now I think I do."

"She's our age?" Mela said.

"Does it matter? We're not the Jedi council."

"No," said Cy, smirking, "but any girl that can turn your head is of some interest to the rest of us."

"What?"

"Oh, shut up Cy," Mela said, crossing her arms and glaring down the taller man. "Don't be a meddler."

"Don't ruin my fun. He's got dirt on me, now I _finally_ have something on him."

"Drop it, or I'll drop you next time I see you," said Kylo. "And don't think I'll forget, because I won't."

Cy held up his hands in surrender.

"Fine, your Supreme Leadership, I'll lay off."

"Thank you," said Kylo. "Now, how are the others? Have you heard anything from them?"

"Well, Corann and Decha are in up to their noses in research and training. Decha's excited about some new breakthrough he's made with bacta. Apparently. he made it breathable."

Kylo gave a low whistle and rocked back on his heels.

"That may be useful someday."

"You're telling me," Cy said. "Now we can heal lungs- maybe even other internal organs."

"What about Jai and Taryn? Any news?"

"Their squad is still in training. Doing well and making progress, but not ready for their first test yet. Maybe in a few years."

"May need them before then," Kylo muttered, running his fingers through his hair.

Cy heard him and nodded solemnly.

"All of us are with you, Kylo," Cy said. "From the start, we've been with you. If you sense anything, even if you think it's nothing, you tell us and we'll be there, sabers lit."

"I know," Kylo said. "And I thank you both."

Mela was about to answer when the sound of laughter drifted through the room. A small image appeared on the hologram, bouncing up and down behind Mela and Cy, frantically waving its arm.

"Master Kylo! Master Kylo!" cried the youngling. "Look what I can do!"

She stretched out her hand and the saber in Mela's belt flew across the room to ignite in the child's hands. Kylo chuckled.

"Very good Nanni."

"Don't encourage her!" Mela cried, spinning and tearing off after the giggling Twi'lek girl.

Her image jumped and flickered on the hologram before it disappeared as she slipped out of range. Cy glanced behind him at the invisible duo and began to fidget.

"Do you need to go help?"

"Probably," Cy said, glancing over his shoulder as a crash came across the connection. "Definitely."

"Don't let me hold you up. It sounds like you've got your hands full."

"She really is incorrigible," Cy said, "How'd you get out of babysitting duty?"

"Because I had to deal with Snoke every day. Good luck."

The hologram disappeared and Kylo was alone in his room again. The anger and fear had vanished like mist in the sunlight and he smiled at the memory of the child, jumping up and down and waving at him like he was the one person she most wished to see in the entire universe.

"One good thing," he said, a quiet smile on his face. "If I've done nothing else, I've done one good thing."


	14. Chapter 14: Rey

*in Etta James' voice* Aaaaat laaaaaaaaast...

Well y'all, I'm back. Sorry for the month plus delay, but first work took over my life and then I had a serious case of writer's block (we're talking C4 and a blasting cap serious, folks) that took a good two weeks to completely iron out. That being said, I'm several chapters ahead now and feel safe enough to start posting again without a fear of writing myself into a corner. Hooray! Thanks again to FenrisInside for the insight, ideas, and suggestions.

Hope you all enjoy this chapter. I know it's been a long wait.

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A month passed and then another on board the _Finalizer,_ with little difference than Rey's first week. Her life went on in much the same way as it always had.

The only difference was her nights.

Over the course of those few months, her sleep went from peaceful to restless and plagued by nightmares. It reminded her of the nights she would wake from dreams to stare up through the cracks in the AT-AT walker in which she made her home, trying to make out the stars above swirling clouds of dust. In those moments of terror and loneliness, she'd tried to imagine what an ocean might look like from the stories the traders told. Her young mind had been unable to even touch the vast span of miles of blue waves in all directions. She hadn't imagined how small it would make her feel, or how humble. If Ahch-To taught her nothing else, it taught her that the Force didn't need her, though it seemed to want her against all known reason.

She lay, staring at the ceiling, feeling strangely empty without the familiar stars of her old home. Strange that she would miss them now that she was among them. The peace she longed for was slow to come, and it seemed to take a short eternity before she was washed in the beauty of its gentle music. She tried to slip back into sleep, but it wouldn't take her, and she tossed and turned for hours with a mind that grew increasingly loud.

When she couldn't take it anymore, she did what had become the only other way to settle herself. She threw on a set of clothes, gripped her saber in a white-knuckled hand, and made straight for the training room.

The doors shut behind her and left her in the pitch darkness. Ignoring her blindness, she stretched out with the Force, searching the boundaries of her vision. She'd learned how to see without light only the week before and the novelty still drew her. She got a vague impression of the four walls and the shapes of racks of weapons and targets stacked against them.

With a hiss and a thin blue light, her saber burst into life at her side. She clenched her fingers tight around it in a backhanded grip. With her jaw widened in a scream, she leapt forward into shadows, swinging her blade at the thin air. It was a battle with the demons that haunted her. Every night she fought them in her dreams, and every morning she battled them in the darkness of the training room. She hacked wildly at invisible foes, drawing from a deep power that welled up inside her. Fear and a ferocious anger tore at her, their crescendos loud and terrible in her ears. She was shaking and crying, but still she twirled the saber, striking out in the blackness.

One after another, old enemies rose in her mind to be felled by the beam of light in her hands. Unkar Plutt first, then the scavengers who'd kicked and cuffed her as a girl. Hux came next, with his sly smile and his scheming mind. And finally, there was Snoke. She saw him standing tall above her, his great will bearing down on her until she couldn't stand. She ground her teeth and, using the last of her strength, she swung. The Supreme Leader fell beneath her blade, crumpling into a heap on the floor. She stood still then, trembling as music drifted around her. It was low and sharp and cold, and it was tempting. She took a step forward, cocking an ear to listen harder, straining to find its source.

"Rey."

She cried out and spun as a hand found her shoulder. A red saber caught and held hers barely an inch from Kylo Ren's face.

"Easy, Rey," he said. "It's only me."

Rey stepped back into herself, staring around her like she'd just woken.

"Don't scare me like that Kylo. I could have killed you."

"Hardly," he said, a pointed glance at the saber still humming next to his head.

Rey gasped and deactivated her weapon, taking a step away.

"What are you doing here anyway?"

"I thought you might be here," he said, offering no further explanation. "Why are you training in the dark?"

He made a small twitching gesture with his fingers and the lights above them flickered into their bright whiteness.

"It helps me think."

"No, it doesn't," he said.

His hand went to her chin, gently tilting her head up until she had to look in his eyes. She shifted but didn't pull away. His gaze was dark and deep, and she couldn't quite make out the expression she saw in it. Not knowing didn't scare her as much as it used to.

"The dark side won't help you, Rey."

"It gives me the power I need. I just need you to trust me to walk this line."

He sighed, and absently brushed his thumb over her cheek before his hand dropped back to his side.

"Once you take to an idea, it takes an earthquake to move you, doesn't it?"

Rey shrugged.

"Will you teach me to cast lightning today?" she asked. "You promised a long time ago. I'm ready."

"No."

"Why not? You swore-"

"I know what I swore. But I'd be a fool if I continued to teach you the dark side. The little I taught you at the beginning torments you. I can see it even if you can't."

"I thought you wanted me to use the dark side."

"Not anymore. You shouldn't end up like me."

"Isn't that my choice?"

"Take it from someone who knows where you are and stands where you're headed. You want no part of this."

"If you won't tell me anything, then maybe I'll just access the holocron."

"No."

It was emphatic, and the tone of his voice told her it was the end of the discussion.

Part of her wanted to argue the point, but the other part of her was satisfied to keep quiet. It was the same part that wanted him to cradle her face in his hand again- a part of her that grew every day. A part that frightened her. She took a careful step back and away, shoving the strange emotions deep enough that they didn't plague her.

Kylo watched her with an odd expression on his face before he walked to a rack of electrostaffs along the wall and took two, throwing one to her and keeping the other for himself.

"You're still on edge," he said, brandishing his weapon. "You need to let loose on something besides air."

Rey looked down at the staff in her hands. It was a sturdy weapon made of tempered beskar, lying smooth and silvery beneath her fingers. She tilted it back and forth, searching for the balance and the best hold. It was different than the staff she'd made herself on Jakku, but the feel of it was familiar and the smallest of smiles touched her face.

"No outside power," said Kylo. "Nothing but your own ability. No drawing on the Force."

"I can whip you even without the Force," she said.

"Go ahead and try."

Rey darted forward and ducked under the sweep of Kylo's swing to try to get in a blow. He was clumsy with the weapon, clearly either inexperienced or out of practice. The staffs met with a crack as he just managed to block the blow she'd been aiming at his legs.

It felt good to fight without using the Force for a change. To battle using only the raw strength in her arms and the skills she'd won after a decade and a half of dueling with a staff. She bared her teeth in a fierce grin and gripped her weapon in both hands before jabbing it hard into Kylo's stomach. He grunted and bent double.

"That's for all the times you've trounced me in saber training."

Kylo gasped for a few seconds, getting his breath back before he straightened. He jabbed at her, but she danced out of the way and landed a blow on his leg.

"You're not going to take it easy, are you?" he asked, limping backwards out of range.

Rey moved into striking distance, bouncing the staff in her hands.

"Consider this payback for the last two months."

She had to skip back as Kylo's staff came whistling through the air at the level of her hip. Even with her speed, he still managed to clip her. Rey hissed a curse beneath her breath and jumped out of range as the other side of the staff swung forward, one hand held tight to her swelling bruise.

Kylo was warming to his work, refining his movements as he remembered training long since forgotten. Rey could read it in the way he held himself. He knew how to fight with a staff, but he was out of practice. There was her advantage. She feinted with her staff, swinging it down in a swift arch.

Kylo grinned and darted forward to block her swing. In one smooth motion, Rey sidestepped, twisted the staff in her hands, and gave him a hard blow across the shoulders. He stumbled, his forward momentum carrying him to the floor. Rey activated the electrostaff and held it an inch from his nose where it buzzed and crackled.

"Yield?"

"Yield," he said.

Rey deactivated the staff and Kylo sat up with a groan. She felt herself again, fully in reality, not drifting in the half-dream of the last few days. She grinned and stretched her trembling muscles, staff braced at her side.

Kylo rubbed at the red marks on his shoulders where his shirt didn't quite cover.

"Those are definitely going to leave bruises."

"You'll recover," Rey said around her smile, "And, anyway, it's about time someone gave you a sound thumping. It'll keep you humble."

"Humility stings."

"Aye, it does."

She extended a hand to him. His fingers wrapped her forearm, almost closing in a full circle as she braced herself and leaned back, tugging him to his feet. It brought him closer than she expected and she startled back, face flushing hot. Kylo's hand didn't move from her elbow and she struggled for a moment with the equal and opposite desire to either throw him off or to step into him.

In the end, she did neither. She stood frozen in his grasp, staring straight ahead at his chest, too afraid of herself to look into his face. It was Kylo who took a slow step away, hand loosening and tracing the length of her arm to linger at her fingertips before releasing them to the cold vacuum of air. The hair raised on her neck, but she didn't make a move. To move would be a betrayal of both herself and him. To move would mean she knew what to do, and she didn't. She was pinned between herself, the electric on her skin and Kylo's presence in her mind.

She shivered, clutching her arms tight against her chest. The steadiness she'd gained was lost again and with it, the frozen stillness. Her fingers went tight around the staff, then loose as they tapped nervous rhythms against the metal. She thought about stretching for the peace, but then decided against it. It was getting harder to reach every day she was on the _Finalizer_ , and if she failed it would only send her mind spiraling out of control. Better to maintain the failing grip on herself she still had.

"Rey?"

Her name was a question and she couldn't answer it. It would be so easy to reply, and that alone terrified her more than anything else. When had she become so aware of the man before her- this Supreme Leader who had been a stranger and was now a friend? She risked a glance up at him, but dropped her eyes back at his distant, somewhat glazed expression. It was one she recognized easily. He was sensing the emotions bleeding out of her, tuning himself to read her.

"I thought we weren't using the Force," she muttered, fingers running restlessly along the staff.

"We're not dueling."

"Another round, then?" she asked, brandishing her weapon.

Kylo grimaced and shook his head. She sensed him coming back to himself.

"I'm not a glutton for punishment," he said, bending down to rub at his leg.

"Coward."

"So be it," he said with a shrug. "I'm going to go find something to eat."

Rey didn't try to hide her disappointment when he reached for her staff. She wanted to hold on to the smooth metal for as long as she could. It was something that reminded her of the person she'd been before, when her life was simple and the world was steady under her feet. When she knew her place among the stars, small though it was.

"You want to keep it?" asked Kylo.

Rey nodded, clutching the staff closer to her chest.

"You can for now," he said. "Keep it close."

"Why?"

"Because you, my young apprentice, are better with a staff than you are a saber."

"Young, indeed," she scoffed. "I'm not that much younger than you. And you only win the saber duels because you've been fighting with one longer."

"Or because I'm superior in every way," he teased.

"Tell that to today's solid defeat."

"Enjoy it while it lasts," he said, a fiendish grin on his face as he gave her a sideways look.

Rey edged the end of her staff before his feet as he walked, hoping he wouldn't notice. There was a scuff of boots and a curse as Kylo tripped. She didn't even try to hold back the smile that split her face. The good-natured jibes had settled her, easing away the fear and confusion. Those emotions could wait. For now, it was good to be happy again, even if it wouldn't last long.

"What are you laughing at?"

"Nothing," she said, hiding her smile with a cough.

"Liar."

"That makes two of us."

Kylo glanced at her but didn't deny her words.

They walked through the corridors towards the mess hall in silence. Rey passed her new staff from hand to hand, twirling it absently as she used to when she was scavenging on Jakku.

"Watch it," said Kylo, ducking the weapon as it flashed past his head.

"Sorry."

She stopped her movements and held the electrostaff tight in one hand, keeping it pinned against her side. Kylo eyed her and edged away.

"You're a menace with that thing."

Rey shrugged and picked up her pace to match his stride.

"I ought to be," she said. "I've fought with one ever since my…"

She trailed off and swallowed hard before continuing.

"Since my parents left me on Jakku."

Kylo was quiet for a few seconds and she felt him on the edge of her thoughts, waiting for her to let him in. She didn't open the door again. She hadn't since he'd searched her memories all those weeks ago. Whether voluntary or not, it felt like an invasion and she wasn't eager to repeat the experience. Kylo's presence stayed for a few seconds more before it disappeared.

"They're your greatest weakness, you know," he said.

"I know."

"Why do you cling to them?"

She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Tightening her fingers around the staff, she shrugged.

"You know what they were, don't you."

It was more statement than question.

Rey bit her lip and nodded. She knew. She wanted to deny that she did, but it would be a lie.

"They were nobody," she said, at last heaving out the bitter secret like bile from her stomach. "They abandoned me."

"They sold you off for drinking money. They're out there in the desert now, dead in paupers' graves."

"I know," she whispered. "You don't have to tell me."

"Rey," he said, stopping and grabbing her by the shoulders so she had to look into his face. "They left you behind. Why do you still hold on?"

Rey's skin shivered under his touch, but she held herself tall and didn't shrink away.

"Maybe because even though they abandoned me, I can't find it in myself to abandon them," she said. "They were my family."

Kylo shook his head and released her.

"You would be free of your pain if you would just let them go," he said.

Rey gave him a sad smile.

"No, I wouldn't."

"Why not?" he asked.

"Are you free of your pain?"

Something flickered over his face and the old emptiness bloomed in her chest. It was cavernous and aching and it was a hunger that was never satisfied. Their steps faltered together, and they stood, each facing the other, in a long second of silence.

"No," he said. "No, I'm not."

Rey heard his despair as a low, mournful music that had woven throughout his song from the beginning. With his admission, it had risen to the surface, heartbreakingly clear and piercing. It echoed her own song and the agony of her years alone on Jakku; wondering, hoping, that someday her family would come back for her. His isolation sounded the same as hers.

She reached out her hand and let it rest on his arm. There wasn't anything she could say that would ease the pain, but she could be present through it. It was the one thing she had wanted more than anything on the nights when she couldn't sleep because of the loneliness that ate at her.

Kylo didn't look at her, but his hand lifted and rested against hers for a moment.

"Thank you," he murmured.

The cavern in her chest began to fill in, and she let her hand slip from under Kylo's to walk in silence next to him.

"You give your loyalty to the wrong people," he said after a minute of silence so loud it made her ears ring.

"And you live too much in the past," she said, her words lacking the venom they might once have held. "We each have our own type of foolishness. Don't fault me for mine."

Kylo let out a low, humorless laugh.

"Two fools," he said beneath his breath. "Two fools in a cruel galaxy."

Rey could only nod.

They were nearing the mess hall and the number of people surrounding them was increasing. She slid a little further away from her master. No use in a stormtrooper starting a rumor that would reach Hux in a matter of minutes. As she moved, a white-armored shoulder slammed into hers, making her stumble. A low rumble in her ears vanished almost as soon as it began.

The hair on the back of her neck suddenly prickled and a sensation of dread clawed into her gut. Her head swung around, but the trooper had already melted back into the crowd, indistinguishable from all the others. She edged closer to Kylo again and seized his arm, fingernails digging in like talons. To Chaos with rumors.

"Did you feel that?" she hissed.

Kylo's face was pale.

"He's nearby," he murmured back. "Cloaked. He dropped it for a second just then."

"Did you get a look at the one that bumped me?"

"No," he shook his head.

Rey glanced back over her shoulder, searching for something that would give Snoke away. She couldn't see anything but a thick knot of men and women in white body armor. She swore inwardly. He'd been so close she could have grabbed him. If she hadn't been so consumed with Kylo Ren she might have had the presence of mind to ignite her saber and separate his vile head from his shoulders. She cursed herself for her stupidity.

He gave her a look from the corner of his eyes.

"What?" she asked.

"We'll catch him. He tipped his hand just now, maybe on accident, maybe not. We know he's here for sure, which is good."

"How can you be so calm about this?"

Kylo lifted his shoulders and the corners of his mouth turned up in a strange, forced smile.

"Aren't you frightened of what he'll do to you when he reveals himself?"

He stopped in the middle of the corridor and stared at her as people streamed around them, the broad river of bodies suddenly parting.

"I'm not. There's nothing more he could do to me that he hasn't already done."

"But you're still afraid of him," she said. "I can feel it."

"I'd be a fool not to be afraid that he'd find my weakness and use it against me," he said. "It wouldn't be the first time he's done it."

His hand rose, stretching towards her for a brief second before dropping back to his side and clenching into a fist.

"I swore-"he muttered.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Liar," she said, her words a purposeful echo.

Kylo glanced at her, one corner of his mouth quirking up.

"That makes two of us."

Rey tried to smile, but it never reached her eyes.


	15. Chapter 15: Rey

Lita gasped and began to choke as Rey slid her tray onto the table and dropped onto the bench next to her. Rey waited until the coughing fit died away before she turned to her friend.

"I haven't seen you around since the incident with the _Silencer_."

The girl flinched and drew away from her, eyes wide and darting around the room.

"You're looking for something?" asked Rey.

"Where's the Supreme Leader?"

"Probably getting his breakfast."

"Since when does the Supreme Leader eat with the troops?"

"Since the Resistance keeps interfering with the trade lines. All the high-ups are eating with the soldiers, Kylo Ren included."

"He's not angry, is he?"

"No more than usual," Rey said, with the faintest of smiles.

Lita's face went a shade paler and she shrunk down on the bench, cowering like a child.

"He's really not that bad, Lita," Rey said. "You're my friend. You don't have to be afraid of him."

"Easy for you to say. You have his ear."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Lita just shot her a look with a meaning Rey couldn't decipher. She shrugged and started to examine her breakfast. It wasn't much, but it was more than the memories of the food of her childhood on Jakku.

"He's actually very kind."

"You're fooling yourself," muttered Lita, turning her eyes away. "What do you know of him?"

"More than you do," Rey snapped, feeling strangely defensive. "At least I'm not afraid."

"Do you know about his purges?" Lita asked, voice hard, though her eyes were still downturned. "Do you know that he killed Force-sensitives like you? Hundreds of children, Rey. Do you still think he's kind?"

Rey's mouth went dry. She started to wish she'd chosen somewhere far away from the mechanic at her side. Two months of isolation had been better than this.

"Don't trust him."

Rey wanted to lash out at the girl. Who was she to tell her who she should trust? Kylo had become the one constant in her life. Everything else drifted out of her reach. Even the peace she had grown to love seemed to desert her now more often than it soothed her. Kylo was her friend. How could he be anything other?

Her thoughts flashed to the holocron and her palms started to itch. Maybe it had an answer that would crush the seed of doubt Lita had planted in her mind. She bit her lip and picked at the goop on her plate, appetite gone.

She glanced up as Lita made a little squeak and went motionless. Kylo Ren stood over them with a tray in his hands and a fork in his mouth, staring down at them.

"Morning," he mumbled around the utensil, nodding at Lita, but not taking his eyes from Rey.

Rey didn't say anything. She dropped her eyes back to her food and began to push it around on her plate, mouth a thin line over clenched teeth. She wanted desperately to ask him about what Lita told her, but the girl was still trembling at her side and she didn't need Kylo up in arms and scaring her even worse than she already was.

"Rey?" asked a voice in her head. "What happened? You're acting strange."

"I'm alright," she lied, stuffing down the doubt that gnawed at her.

Kylo didn't stop watching from her across the table.

"I don't believe you."

"I can't talk about it right now," she thought back at him, glancing at Lita from the corner of her eyes.

Kylo dipped his head in the briefest of nods, then dug into his breakfast.

"Eat," he said aloud, jabbing his fork in her direction. "You need to keep your strength."

"I'm not really hungry."

"Eat anyway."

Rey frowned, but begrudgingly obliged, taking a small bite of a brown paste from the corner of her plate. Her face twisted and she spat it out just a quickly.

"It tastes like someone's old sock."

"Probably was once," Kylo chuckled. "You'd be amazed what they dump on a plate and call food."

Rey took a swallow of water and scraped her tongue over her teeth, trying to rid her mouth of the taste. Lita glanced over at the tray.

"Are you going to eat that?" she asked, gesturing at the brown sludge.

"Have at it," Rey said. "If you're brave enough to get it down, I'm not going to stop you."

Lita took a spoonful and gulped, with nothing more than a wrinkled nose.

"You get used to the flavor after a few years," she said. "It's not so bad."

"It's true," said Kylo, speaking around his own breakfast. "It's an acquired taste."

Rey snorted.

"That's what Plutt always said when he told me to eat bugs when I came back empty-handed," she said with a low laugh. "I never acquired the taste."

There was an unexpected rumble from Kylo's direction and Rey looked up just in time for him to fold his expression back into one of careful control. The music dimmed as he pushed his anger deeper, trying in vain to hide it from her. It struck her as strange. She sighed and turned her attention back to the food, trying to discern which bits of her breakfast would be tolerable. If she'd learned anything over two months aboard the _Finalizer_ , it was that it was anyone's guess, and that a person should never put money on it. Troopers lost credits on those kinds of bets every morning.

She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't realize Kylo was talking to her until Lita nudged her.

"Sorry, what?"

"I have a meeting with one of the trade alliances this morning," said Kylo. "I asked if you wanted to come along."

Rey glanced down at her breakfast tray and bit her lip. Lita's revelation had unsettled her and she wasn't sure she trusted herself or Kylo enough to go anywhere with him. She wanted answers and she wasn't going to get them from him.

"If it's all the same to you, I think I'll stay here."

She felt his disappointment like the keen edge of a knife, but all he said was:

"Alright. It shouldn't be more than an hour or so. The Corellians don't have a reputation for being long winded."

"The Corellians?" Rey asked, surprised. "Aren't they known for being…"

"Smugglers?" Lita finished.

Kylo shifted in his seat and gave Rey a sly smile over his cup of caf.

"I use trade alliance in the loosest sense of the term."

"Does Hux know?"

Kylo gave a short bark of derisive laughter.

"What Hux doesn't know won't kill him. Besides, as long as he gets his Gatalentan tea every morning, he's not going to make a fuss."

Lita's face twisted with an expression of distaste and fear curled through Rey. What if she told? She met Kylo's eyes and inclined her head slightly toward the girl. Kylo grimaced, but nodded.

"That information goes no farther than this table," he said, gesturing his open hand at Lita. "Do you understand, trooper?"

Lita looked blankly back at him.

"No farther than this table," she muttered back.

Rey winced and shot Kylo a scowl. She hadn't meant for him to use a mind trick, but she had to admit it was effective. Lita wouldn't be saying anything to anyone about Kylo's less than reputable business dealings. She let out a breath as the young mechanic gave her head a small shake, appearing to be trying to clear it.

"What…were we talking about again?" she asked, shrinking from Kylo's gaze as she turned to Rey.

"The unpalatable food," said Rey, seizing on a safe subject.

"Oh, right," she said.

"Disgusting or not," Kylo said as he stood, "I've got to run."

As he walked behind her, his hand came to rest on Rey's shoulder and squeezed.

"Eat, Rey," he said, mouth close to her ear. "You need it."

"Don't worry about me. I can take care of myself."

"That's why I'm worried," he said. "I should be back before long. Don't get lost on your way to your quarters."

"Hilarious, Ren."

He never let her forget the first time he'd let her wander the ship by herself. She'd become so turned around that after several hours of trying to find her rooms, she'd finally swallowed her pride and called to him for help. He'd found her in the laundry, arguing in binary with a cleaning droid who wanted to know who she was, how she got in, and did the superiors think it was some kind of joke to begin a surprise inspection on the morning of the biggest laundry pile up in the history of the _Finalizer_.

Kylo picked up on the memory and laughed as he gave her shoulder one more squeeze before he left the room. The moment he was out of earshot, Lita turned to her.

"What are you _doing_ Rey?"

"What?" Rey asked.

"What in blazes do you think you're doing? Are you out of your mind?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, but you've sure got a strong opinion about it."

"You _love_ him."

"You're the one who's lost it," Rey said, "not me."

"That's a laugh. You know he loves you too, don't you?"

Rey rolled her eyes.

"I'm done talking about this," she said, starting to get up.

Lita grabbed her wrist in a fierce grip.

"I don't know much, and I haven't seen much of the galaxy," she hissed, "but I've seen men look at women the way the Supreme Leader looks at you. Don't try and tell me it's innocent."

Rey wrenched herself free and opened her mouth to argue that there was no way Kylo Ren, the Supreme Leader of the galaxy would lower himself to love an insignificant scavenger like herself when his words came back to her in echoes.

"I want you to join me. We could rule together."

She felt the blood draining out of her face. He had all but asked her to be his empress. From the very beginning he'd wanted her to be at his side. Her stomach heaved and she fought down a rising panic. What had he said to her?

"We can be family to one another"?

Her chest felt tight and she found she couldn't breathe. Kylo Ren loved her. A murderer loved her. The man Lita was accusing of killing hundreds of children wanted her. And the worst part of it was that she wanted him to want her. Guilt assailed her as tears prickled in the back of her eyes. Questions spun through her mind, turning in on themselves to form new ones. The music of her confusion terrified her and she stood with a jerk, stumbling away from the table before turning and almost running from the mess hall.

"You can't trust him," Lita called after her. "Don't let your guard down."

Rey didn't even turn. She tore down the hallway like a whirlwind, almost blind with confusion and the clinging guilt, with no clear idea where she was going. The halls blurred together until she wasn't sure how far she'd come or how far she had to go. Her breath hurt her lungs and her heart pounded in her ears. The deep notes of her fear were the only things she could hear- a dull roar that drowned all else. Her mind kept spinning in circles.

She needed answers.

Her feet moved of their own accord, taking her from the heavily traveled main thoroughfares to the long, silent hallways of the living quarters. She passed the door to her room but didn't stop. She had to find the answers to her questions and she knew only one way to do so.

Her feet stopped before Kylo's door. She stood there for a long minute, staring at its bright whiteness, working up courage to do what she was about to do.

"I won't have access," she muttered, reaching out her hand towards the scanner anyway.

There was a soft beep and a light flashed green beneath her fingers. She took a step back, startled as the door hissed open. Craning her neck around the corner, she searched the room beyond for any sign of Kylo Ren. It was dark and empty, with no indication that anyone was there. Rey took a step forward to stand in the middle of the emptiness. She shivered. It was cold here. Cold and dark and lonely. What little she could see didn't tell her much about her master. Everything was neatly arranged, the exact opposite of her cluttered, slightly chaotic rooms.

The silence was oppressive, making the hair on her neck stand up and giving her a feeling that someone was watching her. She began to pick over the room, poking into drawers and cupboards, listening hard all the while. It wasn't until she reached the doorway to his bedroom that a strange uneasiness settled over her. She remembered the feeling. It was the same one she'd gotten the day Kylo found the holocron.

Rey pushed open the door, cocking an ear as she did. There was the familiar pressure in her head and the slight nausea twisting in her gut. She clenched her teeth and swallowed back bile, taking a tentative step into the depths of Kylo's apartments. The darkness closed around her like a great maw.

"You're insane, Rey," she whispered to herself. "You've officially lost it."

But she didn't stop.

She crept into the room, swinging her head from side to side, homing in on the strange sensation of music below her range of hearing. It grew in power until it felt as if something was wrapped around her chest, squeezing tight to cut off her breathing. She stood over the trunk at the foot of Kylo's bed, gasping in air, gathering her strength.

The lock clicked open as her fingertips danced over the smooth metal and she lifted the lid. A wave of nausea crashed into her and she staggered backward, gagging. It was as though a dark presence were residing in the trunk and when she opened it, it had been released to plague her. For a moment, she thought about running; turning tail and never looking back over her shoulder, but Lita's revelation burned in her and would not let her act on her terror.

With a great effort of will she brought her hand to rest on the edge of the trunk before they slid gently into the depths to cradle the cloth wrapped holocron. She pulled it into the open, carefully peeling away the layers of dark material to reveal the softly glinting surface of the pyramid. It took everything in her not to vomit. She turned the device over in her hands, running her fingers over the strange symbols covering its sides. The nausea began to subside as she studied the writing, but the pressure in her chest and her ears stayed. It waxed and waned, almost seeming to pulse like the low music of the dark side she knew so well from her months of listening to Kylo's song.

The pulse began to pull at her, tempting her to stretch out and manipulate it. It was perhaps easier than it should have been to reach out in the Force and catch hold of the tendrils of music. As soon as she touched them, Rey found that she knew how to open the holocron. She let her own music drift with the almost undiscernible music of the device, twining with it. She gave a quick twist and jerked backward in surprise as a flash of red light erupted from the crystal at the top of the pyramid. Bane's image stood before her, as grotesque as she remembered in the horrible spiked armor. A smirk played over the image's lips.

"Well, young lightsider," it said, "it seems you have finally come to your senses and come to learn wisdom."

"Don't flatter yourself. I'm only here because I'm desperate for answers."

"So was your young master."

"Kylo?"

"Who else?" asked the image. "Wise beyond his years, but ruled by his emotions. I certainly hope you display more control."

Rey worked her jaw to try to get rid of the pressure behind her ears.

"I didn't come to have a conversation," she said. "I came to find answers."

"To what, m'lady?" said the hologram with a mock bow.

"What are the purges?"

"Which ones?" asked the image, the smile Rey was rapidly growing to hate still twisting its features.

"Any of them," she said, then rethought her answer. "All of them."

"There is too much history behind that question to relate to you in one day."

"Then give me a summary," snapped Rey.

She kept glancing over her shoulder at the door, half expecting Kylo to be standing there. He wasn't, but she couldn't shake the feeling that someone was watching her. The hologram chuckled.

"I shall endeavor," it said.

Rey didn't reply, just stared at it and waited for it to continue.

"Over the aeons," began the hologram, "whenever a regime has seized power, they have attempted to wipe the Jedi from the galaxy. First the Sith, then the Empire. The First Order is no different than those before it."

"But there _are_ no more Jedi," Rey said. "Except for Luke Skywalker."

"Luke," snorted Bane's image. "Snoke spoke of him- tried to hunt him down and failed."

"That's not the point," Rey said. "There are no more Jedi to hunt, but I hear rumors of the purges even now. Some say that Kylo Ren led them."

"You would know the truth if you would only open your eyes," said the hologram. "You blind yourself, seeing nothing but what you wish to see."

"And you were a devil in the shape of a man," Rey spat back at it. "I'd rather be foolish than a monster."

"You speak as one blind to the cruelty of life. You are naïve to the ways of this galaxy, little lightsider."

Rey winced as the words struck a nerve. She knew well the cruelty of life and the fickle ways of those that made the galaxy their home.

"I came to ask for information on Snoke's purges, not for your opinion of me."

"Contrary to your apparent belief, I do not know all, especially of things in the recent past. I know only what Snoke shared with me."

"Then for the love of the Force, stop being cryptic and speak in plain words you wretched machine,"  
Rey said, exasperated.

"Ren was a part of it," the hologram finally said. "Snoke sent him and his knights to hunt and kill any Force-sensitives they could find, beginning with the fellow students who wouldn't turn along with them. Snoke's goal was to eliminate rivals, but I believe the lie he told young Kylo Ren was that he was ushering in a new Order to the galaxy: bringing about an age with no Jedi and no Sith."

"Lita told me he killed children," said Rey in a small voice, not wanting to believe what she was hearing.

"What of it?"

"Has he?"

"He has killed many, from the reports I was given. Men, women, and children, starting with his fellow padawans. He was not the first to do so, nor will he be the last."

Though she had sensed they were coming, the words hit her like a physical blow. Despair settled over her shoulders, weighing her down to the floor. Any hope she might have had for him died. Unexpected tears prickled in the back of her eyes as confusion and grief mingled with the horror and rage for the lives lost. She could have been one of them. He would have killed her too, once upon a time, if the Force had not been as kind to her as it was. That fact made her angry too- that she would survive when so many others had not escaped Kylo's blade. Mostly though, her anger burned against Kylo.

She was so absorbed in the flickering red image that she didn't hear the slight creak as the door swung open. Kylo Ren stood framed in the doorway, face going a ghostly white as his eyes came to rest on his apprentice.

"What are you doing?" he gasped.

Rey's eyes snapped to meet his and Bane's image vanished back into the holocron.

"Kylo," she started, "I was just-"

Kylo marched forward and snatched the pyramid from her hands, throwing it to the floor behind him, so he formed a barrier between it and her.

"That thing is dangerous, Rey. Stars- what did you think you were doing?"

Rey scrambled to her feet, backing up until her calves were pressed against the wood of the trunk.

"I needed answers," she said, as if that would excuse her direct disobedience.

Kylo looked strange. He was pale and drawn, muscles tensed and hand halfway to the saber at his belt. She hadn't seen him in such a state since their discovery that Snoke was still alive. He was frightened. The music of it throbbed around him, so easy to hear that she didn't have to concentrate. What was he so afraid of?

"You could have come to me," he said. "You should have come. Why didn't you?"

"You wouldn't have told me the truth."

"How do you know that?" he asked. "You never even tried. Admit it, you've been dying for an excuse to use that cursed machine."

"And what if I have?" she retorted. "You haven't exactly been a fountain of knowledge recently. What did you expect me to do? I need to learn."

Kylo's face went a shade paler.

"What did you ask it?"

"What does it matter to you?"

"It matters a great deal," he said quietly. "Now, what did you ask it?"

Rey's fury blazed up brighter and she took a step toward him, jabbing a finger at his chest.

"I asked it about your purges," she said. "I asked it if the rumors are true that you hunted down and killed Force-sensitives."

To her surprise, Kylo's face did not contort in anger. If anything, his expression slid into one of desperate relief.

"And what did it tell you?"

"That you killed innocent people," she spat out, taking another step forward, until she was almost nose to nose with him. "That you murdered Force-sensitive children in your arrogant belief that you alone could bring about a new order in the galaxy."

"Good," Kylo said with a sigh.

"Good?" asked Rey, incredulous. "What in Chaos is good about being a murderer?"

"Better to be thought a monster," Kylo muttered.

"You _are_ a monster," Rey snarled.

Kylo gave her a small, sad smile.

"I won't deny I've made mistakes," he said. "I've killed innocent people- people whose lives I had no right to take. But I never killed children."

"Mistakes?" Rey asked, voice pitching higher. "Killing another person isn't a mistake, Ren. It's a choice, and, Chaos take you, you chose wrong."

"I know," he thundered, pain streaking across his face. "Don't you think I know? Don't you think their faces haunt me every night? I can't close my eyes without seeing them. I hate myself for what I've done. I hate Snoke for what he made me do. I…I…"

His voice faltered, and tears filled his eyes to spill out onto his cheeks. He took a deep breath and ran a hand over his face, eyes turned skyward as he blinked rapidly.

"I've done a lot of things wrong, but the one thing I have not done is kill children in Snoke's purges."

"How do I know you're not lying? You killed almost everyone when you destroyed Luke's Jedi school."

Kylo froze, tear tracks shining on his cheeks.

"How do you know about that?"

Rey didn't answer.

"They were my friends," he whispered. "You have no idea how much agony I was in that night."

"No, I don't," she said, "but it was your own choices that landed you there."

Kylo's wrath surged up, growing from a low rumble to a deafening roar in the space of a heartbeat.

"You don't know anything about my choices," he said, teeth bared in a furious grimace.

Rey felt a stab of fear and became acutely aware of how close they'd drawn to one another. She was close enough to see the deep purple of the shadows under his eyes and the lines etching over his face. In that moment, he looked far older than his two and a half decades. She tilted her chin up, studying the face that had become familiar and that now seemed to belong to a stranger.

It surprised her when Kylo's eyes flickered from her eyes to her lips and he lurched closer. He seemed to catch himself halfway to her mouth and pulled away, dragging his gaze back to meet hers.

"Sorry," he muttered, taking a few steps back. "I didn't mean that."

"Like Chaos you didn't," Rey snapped, a curious mix of anger, disappointment and hurt churning in her stomach.

Kylo had just opened his mouth to reply when his commlink beeped. He growled and dug it out of his pocket, flipping it open.

"This had better be good, Hux."

"You're needed on the bridge, Supreme Leader."

"Can't it wait? I'm in the middle of something right now."

"No," came the nasally voice. "And bring your apprentice. We've got new intelligence I think you might be interested in."

"And what's that?" asked Kylo, voice low and exhausted.

"We've found the Resistance."

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A/N: Hi folks- and Happy Easter!

I know the last several chapters have been a little slower, but I hope you've enjoyed them. We're going to pick up the pace here soon (like next chapter soon), so I hope you all stay tuned. Thanks again to everyone who's stuck with me this far- it means so much. Leave a review to let me know what you think! Constructive criticism is always welcome, as are ideas you might have or speculation as to where the story is going. I'd love to hear from you.


	16. Chapter 16: Rey

Rey's heart sat like a lump of stone in her chest on the walk to the bridge. Kylo didn't speak. Their argument stood between them: a great and monstrous truth that kept her silent as she followed at his heels. The slope of his shoulders told her of his misery, even if she hadn't sensed it through the bond.

She wasn't sure if the unease she felt was a result of the fight, or if it was the sensation that they were both walking into a trap. Her hands clasped her staff tight to her chest and she kept her gaze down. Hux had found the Resistance and she was expected to go before them with Kylo and convince them to surrender. It was something straight out of her nightmares; the ones she woke from crying, with images imprinted on her mind of Finn's and Leia's faces contorted in fear and disgust. What would they think of her? What would they say?

Before her mind could spiral into the possibilities, Kylo stopped. They stood on the threshold of the bridge, several feet above a bank of control computers. Rey peered from behind Kylo to stare out over the heads of the several dozen technicians typing busily on datapads or giving orders into their comms. Beyond the ordered chaos was a window looking out into the void beyond. Rey saw thousands of pale stars stretching into eternity, but what drew her attention was the world looming large below them.

The last planet she'd seen was lush and green with a belt of rock ringing it. The planet taking up most of the viewport was mostly orange, streaked with patches of white. What little she could see of the surface was featureless and without anything that looked remotely like water.

"Are we still in the Ileenium system?" Rey whispered, curiosity overcoming her reluctance to speak.

Kylo shook his head.

"We must have made the jump while we were on the way," he said, glancing at one of the computers. "Looks like we're still in the Outer Rim, though. Sprizen sector."

"What planet is that?"

"Looks like… Abafar," said Kylo as he craned his neck for a look at another computer.

"Abafar?"

"Desert world. Not much here besides mining towns. One of our primary sources of rhydonium."

"The starship fuel?"

"Yeah. Got to give the Resistance credit- they hid right under our noses," he said, sounding as if he were talking to himself.

Rey's attention shifted to a woman with close cropped blond hair and silver armor that was stalking toward them with a scowl that Rey guessed was a permanent fixture on her face. She stood head and shoulders taller than Rey and gave her only a passing glance as she came to a halt in front of Kylo.

"Supreme Leader," she said, inclining her head with an insincere jerk.

Rey edged closer to her master, instantly shifting into a silent alertness. She might not trust Kylo, but here, surrounded by enemies as they were, they could not afford to remain at odds. She sensed their very survival depended on the appearance of unity.

"Captain Phasma," said Kylo.

She wondered how he could be so calm, while she was struggling to keep her hand from twitching toward the saber at her belt. She kept her fingers wrapped tightly around her staff, willing herself to keep still. The sound of boots came from her left and she gripped her weapon a little harder as General Hux came into view. He was utterly unchanged from the last time she'd seen him: black uniform starched and ironed so that it might stand on its own, every hair on his head combed into submission, and a smile as stiff as his shirt. If Kylo was organized, his general was antiseptic.

The man's eyes fixed on her and narrowed. It was such a fierce expression that she took an involuntary step backwards before she remembered the need to at least appear brave. She lowered her staff a fraction of an inch and bared her teeth at him. Phasma whipped out her blaster and leveled it at Rey's chest. Hux snorted a laugh.

"Call off your guard dog, Ren," he said. "before she gets herself killed."

Rey desperately wanted to strangle the man. Kylo's anger rumbled like thunder, but he glanced at her and gave the smallest shake of his head. Rey returned her staff to its place at her side.

"I'm not an animal," she seethed. "And I can take care of myself."

"I'm sure," said Phasma around her smirk.

Rey was about to round on the woman when she heard Kylo's voice in her head.

 _Not yet, Rey._

She glanced at him and saw that his eyes were on the blaster in Phasma's hands. She understood at once and fought to mask her anger. After a tense minute, Phasma slipped the weapon back into its holster. Hux gave them an oily smile.

"Thank you, ladies."

Rey fought down the urge to crack him over the head with her staff, and when she glanced at Phasma she got the impression that the trooper was fighting down the same impulse. For a fraction of a second, Rey found she could empathize with the woman. The feeling vanished just as quickly as she remembered the stories Finn told her about Phasma's brutality.

"Care to tell me what's going on, Hux?" asked Kylo. "Because you apparently made the jump to hyperspace before I gave the approval."

"I assumed you would want to take care of the Resistance as soon as possible, Supreme Leader."

Kylo didn't answer, just giving his general a searching look. Hux shifted uncomfortably and cleared his throat.

"But I'm sure you're wanting to know how we found them," he said.

"It was the most pressing question I had, yes," said Kylo, voice dry and unamused.

Hux beckoned them both forward and turned to stride to the window, hands clasped behind his back.

"As I'm sure you're aware," he began, "the First Order has long used the mining operations on Abafar to supply our fleets with Rhydonium."

When Kylo nodded, Hux continued with his speech. Rey couldn't help thinking that it sounded as if he'd been practicing it in front of a refresher mirror.

"About a week ago, we began to receive reports from our informants that a small fleet of starships had dropped out of hyperspace above Abafar. We thought they might be there to refuel, but yesterday we received a transmission that reported activity in and around an abandoned mine. The reconnaissance we sent out this morning to observe confirmed that the Resistance have set up a new base."

"We have the planet under surveillance," said Phasma. "No one has entered or exited the atmosphere since our recon."

"And the hyperspace tracker?" asked Kylo.

"Nothing."

Hux reached behind him and pulled a datapad into view. He thrust it into Kylo's hands.

"The terms of surrender," he said. "Unconditional. Unless, of course, you're inclined to be lenient with the scum as a demonstration of the great mercy of the new Supreme Leader."

Rey didn't miss the sarcasm dripping from Hux's every word. The antagonism he bore against Kylo was so overt, she wondered how her master kept from killing the man for his sedition. But as she looked around, marking every wary eye and every hand that strayed to a holstered blaster, she understood. Without the support of Hux's army, Kylo's hands were tied. He could walk and talk like he was the Supreme Leader, and he could fight Hux every step of the way, but the red-haired general held the cards. It didn't take a brilliant mind to come to the realization, and the way the technicians were staring at them both told her infinitely more than the lip service they paid to Kylo. They were both backed in a corner and she knew in her gut that they weren't going to be able to fight their way out. Not unless things changed in their favor.

Kylo scrolled through the datapad.

"When's the drop?" he asked dully.

"As soon as possible. We'll send out a transmission to let them know you're coming, but I'd recommend sending your own on the way. We wouldn't want any mishaps on the road to peace."

"Indeed," Kylo muttered.

"One of your knights is already en route for added security. I'm sure your apprentice is training hard, but I imagine after only several weeks she's still weak in her powers?"

Rey couldn't help by notice the twitch at the corner of Hux's mouth. A sense of dread settled over her like a cloud and she shrank away from the man. Before Kylo could reply, a loud beep emanated from one of the computers, making Rey jump, and the blue light of a hologram flickered into life. It was a man dressed in what she instantly recognized as mechanics' clothes.

"General," said the hologram, "the Supreme Leader's ship is ready for transit."

"That's our cue," Kylo said, not waiting for Hux to give the order. "Ready, Rey?"

She dipped her head in a nod, more than ready to escape the tension and scrutiny of the bridge.

"Then let's go."

It took everything in her not to run from the room ahead of Kylo, but she managed to scrape together the self-control to walk close behind him with at least the appearance of courage. As the doors slid closed behind them, her breath of relief echoed Kylo's. He didn't say anything, and his face was fixed in hard lines as he began the long walk to the hangar. His strides cut through the distance and Rey had to trot to match him.

"Kylo, you know the Resistance isn't going to let us get anywhere near the base."

"That's why you're going along. You're acting as bait as well as leverage."

"That's not-"

"Fair?" he asked, reading her thoughts. "I know. None of this is fair. Hasn't been from the beginning."

Rey stuck him with the fierce glare.

"Don't look at me like that," he said.

"Like what?"

"Like you can't bear to be near me."

"Right now," she muttered, "it's a difficulty."

Kylo's face stayed blank, but she felt the grief that turned his stomach and knew her words had sliced deep. A part of her wanted to take them back, but the confused and hurting and angry part kept the apology behind her teeth. They didn't speak again until they stood under the _Silencer_.

"When we get there, I want you to keep close," Kylo said. "You're not going to have many friends down there, and I don't want anyone taking a pot shot at you."

"I can take care of myself, Ren. I don't need your help."

To emphasize her point, Rey jumped and caught the wing of the _Silencer_ , hoisting herself up to the access hatch. Kylo was right behind her as she dropped into the cabin, heading for the controls as soon as his feet struck the floor.

Rey curled in her usual position against the wall and stared through a corner of the viewport as Kylo flipped switches and rattled off codes for takeoff into the ship's comm.

Movement caught in the corner of her eye and she turned to see Lita waving frantically from a scaffolding and shaking her head, stark fear scrawled across her face. Rey felt her brow wrinkle as she tried to decipher what her friend was mouthing. The engines fired up and the _Silencer_ rose several feet, rotating to face the bay hatch that would let them out into the darkness of space. Rey lost sight of Lita. She puzzled over her friend's actions, then pushed them aside. She had more to worry about than Lita's warnings to avoid trusting Kylo Ren.

There was a low whirr as Kylo throttled up and sent the _Silencer_ shooting into the vast emptiness, on a straight line for the planet Abafar. A few minutes into the flight, the silence inside the fighter was oppressive. Rey found herself missing the familiar conversation between them. She shifted uncomfortably, the cold of the floor seeping into her bones as the stillness affronted her ears. It was almost a relief when Kylo spoke.

"I never thanked you for fixing the ship," he said.

"Glad to help. You were only a couple of sparks away from an engine fire, you know."

"Well, you managed to prevent it and get it running better than it ever did. I'm in your debt."

The words were scarcely out of his mouth when there was a sudden hissing noise behind them and Rey turned to see a cloud of steam burst through the access panel to the engine. She cried out as the hot gases licked at her skin, instinctively retreating away.

"What in Chaos-" Kylo shouted, trying to avoid the steam and keep the _Silencer_ on a steady course at the same time.

"Slag it, that's a coolant line to the reactor," Rey yelled.

"What do you mean, 'that's a coolant line?' If one of them blow, so do we."

Rey was already on the move.

"Where's the emergency repair kit?"

"Cabinet recessed in the left wall."

Rey located the panel and opened it. Her heart hit her shoes when she peered inside. The cabinet was empty. She cursed the First Order up down and sideways for their lack of foresight and slammed the panel back into place. She was going to have to make do without. Her mind began taking stock of her surroundings, compiling a list of her resources. All arguments were forgotten. All bets were off. It was only her mechanical abilities separating both her and Kylo from death.

"Rey!"

"Keep your eyes on the stars flyboy," she said, darting towards the reactor, "I'll take care of this."

It was dark and hot and sweat began to run down Rey's back before she'd even begun to look for the problem. She crammed in next to the reactor, squinting and pulling on the Force to peer through the dense steam. It wasn't difficult to find the line that had gone bad. Water and coolant gushed from the end of a flailing hose. It vaporized as soon as it touched the hot sides of the reactor, sending up clouds of roiling gas. Rey coughed and pulled the collar of her tunic to cover her nose and mouth. Steam burns were nothing to joke about and the pain of her last set of them was etched deep in her memory. The last place she wanted them was in her airway. Quickly, she unwound her arm wraps and twisted them around her hands, covering as much skin as she could. An unpleasant hissing noise came from the reactor.

Rey's stomach dropped. Steam was building up inside- increasing pressure. A few more minutes and it would explode.

The hose whipped past her and she stretched out her hand, catching it in midair. With a quick movement, she bent the line in half, slowing the flow of coolant so she could get a look at the damage. To her surprise, instead of a ragged tear, the line looked as if it had been cut; with a neat edge and no evidence of natural wear. She swore under her breath and glanced up at the connection point. She saw at once that repair would be difficult. The hose connector was still in place and a piece of the line a few centimeters in length was still connected. She wasn't going to be able to reattach the hose without removing the connector.

Gritting her teeth against the pain she knew would come, she wrapped the connector in both hands and twisted. The hot metal burnt her fingers and she fought against the urge to release her grip. Again and again she twisted, until the bolt came free with a snap. The piece it attached to stood free and she seized the hose again, jamming it over the shining brass fitting and unkinking the hose. There was the noise of rushing water from the other side of the wall and the furious hissing died away. Rey breathed a long sigh of relief.

She released the hose and ducked as it immediately pulled free and whipped past her head, spraying her with coolant. She yelped and jumped back as a fresh curtain of steam shot into the air.

"Chaos take it," she swore, searching the walls for something to secure the line.

Her eyes caught on a ring of hose clamps hanging on the wall. She wormed her way around to it, avoiding the hot sides of the reactor. A minute later the hose was back in her hands and she was securing it to the connector. Tentatively, she released her grip. The hose held.

"Thank the Force," she whispered.

She crawled back through the access hatch, trembling and wet with sweat and coolant. Her skin on her hands felt raw and stiff where the bolt had burned her and her mind seemed a million miles away.

"Rey," Kylo asked, craning his neck to look back at her, voice full of questions.

"Fine," she gasped. "I'm fine."

She flopped onto her side on the cool floor, closed her eyes, and pulled cool clear air into lungs crammed with the thick steam. It felt so good just to breathe. She heard the sound of the engines throttling down and opened her eyes again. During the time she'd fixed the coolant line, Kylo had managed to pilot them through the atmosphere of Abafar. They were skimming over the bright landscape, losing speed before the thrusters brought them to a standstill. With a few flicks of the controls and a slow dip of the yoke, Kylo landed the ship in the same graceful glide he always did. Rey couldn't help the spark of admiration and envy at his abilities.

As soon as the ship stopped, Kylo spun to face her, leaping from his chair and pulling the med kit from its compartment.

"Where are you hurt?"

"I'm fine," Rey protested, pushing herself to a sitting position. "I was just resting. Let's get on with this."

"Resting or not, you'll need bacta if you were anywhere near that reactor."

"I'm fine."

"Yeah, until the radiation kills you. It's only an injection and a cup of the stuff."

Reluctant, she held out an arm as he drew up a syringe of the bluish liquid. He felt her arm for a minute, looking for a vein, before tying a string around her upper arm and plunging the needle into her skin.

"Ow," she howled.

"It'll keep you alive and healthy," he said, handing her a flask. "Now, drink."

Rey grumbled, but swallowed the liquid, making a face at the sickly-sweet taste. Kylo ignored her and tied the string around his own arm, pulling out a new syringe of bacta and slipping the needle into a vein. After she was finished, he took the flask from her and tossed back a mouthful.

"Let me see your hands," he said as he tucked the flask back into the kit.

Rey obeyed, but she felt the need to roll her eyes.

"It's only a burn. I've had dozens before and I've been fine."

Kylo didn't say anything in reply, instead cutting open a bacta patch and smearing the gel inside across her hands.

"Works better that way," he said to her questioning look.

He squeezed more of the gel out of the patch and smeared it across her forehead and the tops of her cheeks where the steam had turned her skin red and raw. Rey flinched backward, then stilled and relaxed into the caress.

"Thanks," she said.

Rey re-wrapped her hands, sealing the bacta against her skin, and curled against the wall, cradling them against her chest. With the easing of pain, her thoughts snapped back into clarity and she remembered the importance of what she'd seen.

"Kylo?"

"Yeah?"

"It wasn't an accident."

"What wasn't?"

"The coolant line coming loose. Someone cut it."

"What?"

"Someone sabotaged the _Silencer_. That line was meant to break."

"And kill us both when the reactor overheated." Kylo finished, heavily.

"Yeah."

"I knew in my gut," he said. "I knew he was gunning for me this time. I just didn't know how."

Rey rubbed at the bacta on her stinging fingers and didn't answer. She kept a wary eye out the viewport. There was nothing to see except endless pale sand, stretching away into the distance. The surface of the planet shone with reflected light and there was not even the shadow of a track or a hill to the horizon.

"It seems to go on forever," she muttered. "I don't like it."

"Why not?"

"Too much like Jakku."

There was a whistling above their heads and they both ducked instinctively as a small aircraft swooped in to hover several dozen feet above their craft before beginning to settle towards the sand. Kylo peered up at it, shoulders relaxing when he got a good look.

"It's Decha, thank the Force."

"Your knight?"

Kylo nodded, already at the hatch to leave the ship. Rey got to her feet behind him, exhausted as the rush of adrenaline ebbed away. She wasn't sure if she could even muster the energy to meet another stranger, let alone face the Resistance. Gathering herself, she followed Kylo out into the bright light and scorching heat of the planet's surface. The hot wind on her face was rousing, if nothing else, and she found it easier to hide her reluctant expression.

The door opened in the other ship and a man, about the same age as Kylo, rushed out. He threw his arms around her master, smiling and pounding his back.

"Kylo!" he exulted. "It's been too long!"

Kylo laughed and shoved at his friend, pushing him back a pace or two. The two roughhoused for a few seconds more as Rey stood by and watched in fascination. Years seemed to fall from Kylo and she found herself reminded of two children, joyfully reunited. It was a rare occasion when she saw Kylo truly happy, and never had she seen him free. On this desert planet with thousands of kilometers distance between him and the First Order, she realized that, in his mind, he was both.

"You're looking well Decha. How are things?"

"Fantastic," said the man. "Cy said he told you about my breakthrough?"

"He did. How'd you ever figure it out?"

"Many sleepless nights and a lot of caf," Decha chuckled, then peered over Kylo's shoulder at Rey. "This your new apprentice?"

"Yeah," said Kylo. "This is Rey. Rey, meet Decha."

Decha's face stretched in a mischievous grin.

"I'm so glad I got to come on this mission instead of Mela," he said. "She's going to be furious that I met you first."

"Mela?" asked Rey.

"She's a knight too."

"And desperate to meet you," added Decha.

Rey turned questioning eyes on Kylo, uncertain what to make of Decha's assertions. He nodded.

"You'll probably be a little overwhelmed when you meet her," he said. "She'll be more than thrilled."

"When will I get to meet her?"

"Not today. Maybe soon."

"How soon?"

"Don't know. It depends. With Hux acting up again, I'm hesitant to leave the _Finalizer_."

"Hux is acting up?" asked Decha.

"The _Silencer's_ main coolant line was slashed," Rey explained. "We were a few minutes from a pretty spectacular explosion."

Decha's expression went dark.

"Why don't you just kill the man and be done with it?"

"Because, while I'm more than a match for Hux and probably the vast majority of the bridge," said Kylo, "I don't have the loyalty of the troops, and an assassination wouldn't give me favorable marks. It's going to have to be a gradual undermining, nothing less."

"But what about us?" asked Decha. "If you brought us aboard-"

"I will not jeopardize our charges."

Decha gave a short nod, but his mouth turned down in a frown. Rey was just about to ask what Kylo meant by 'jeopardizing charges', when a young boy with dark hair in tousled curls poked his head around the ship's entry hatch. To Rey's utter astonishment, he gave a squeal of excitement and tore out of the ship.

"Master Kylo!" he cried, bouncing up and down on his toes, barely containing his enthusiasm.

"And there goes any hope I had of a peaceful flight back," Decha muttered.

Rey stared as the boy wrapped his arms around Kylo's waist and squeezed. Kylo frowned, ruffling the boy's hair.

"Parvan, what in Chaos are you doing here?"

"Master Decha let me come along."

"He did, did he?" asked Kylo, eyeing his knight over the top of Parvan's head.

"The kid was itching to get off the ship, Kylo, what was I supposed to say?"

"Too bad, you're staying put?" suggested Kylo. "What were you thinking, Decha? This will be dangerous."

"But I can take care of myself!" protested the boy.

"I'll believe that when the training reports say you haven't been thrashed three times in a row during sparring."

Parvan crossed his arms and pouted.

"But, since you're here," sighed Kylo, "you might as well make yourself useful by watching the ships."

The boy's face brightened and he nodded, reaching for the small saber at his belt.

"I can do that."

"Good," Kylo said, "You're in charge until we get back."

Decha winced.

"Dangerous thing to say to that particular eight-year-old, Kylo," he said.

Parvan grinned and disappeared back into the ship. A minute later, Rey thought she heard poorly imitated blaster noises coming from deep inside.

"Who-?" began Rey.

"Parvan," said Kylo, as if it explained all.

"But where did he come from? Why is he here?"

"I'll explain later. We've got to get moving."

"But-"

"Look, Rey, I promise I'll explain later. The short answer is, he's Decha's apprentice. Does that satisfy you for now?"

"No."

"Didn't figure it would."

"The kid sure has an imagination," Decha said as they caught a glimpse of Parvan ducking behind the pilot's seat and peering out again with his fingers forming the rough shape of a gun. "But he's a tough one when we practice meditation. He's got the attention span of a scurrier."

Kylo shrugged.

"As long as the ship's in one piece when we get back," he said. "But we need to go. The base is only a click to the east. If we keep a good pace, we should make it in time to meet."

Rey nodded and shouldered her staff, mentally preparing herself for the trek across acres of sand. Even the thought of the trip made her tongue stick to the roof of her mouth with thirst. She ignored the sensation and started forward, eyes turned from the sun. Kylo and Decha followed behind. Rey's reluctance to go through with the mission grew as they traveled forward. Each step felt like a mile to tread; bringing her closer to the Resistance and to her old friends.

The fact filled her with a horror she didn't understand.


	17. Chapter 17: Rey

A/N: Happy Star Wars day everyone- and May the Fourth be with you!

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They came to the edge of the chasm after a walk that Rey would have guessed was closer to ten clicks than one. The ground at their feet plunged at a steep angle to a sandy floor several hundred feet down. Rey could see curved lines of sand where the blast from starship engines had pushed it into piles, and the set of stairs they'd discovered carved into the side of the canyon wall had been brushed free of sand by foot traffic. Rey peered over the side and saw several caverns opening dark in the stone. She caught a slight movement in the shadows and froze, squinting down through the bright light to try to make out the figure.

"Kylo," she said, gesturing down at the cave.

Kylo craned his neck to watch where she was pointing. A second later, he nodded and motioned Decha forward.

"Stop right there," said a voice behind them.

Rey jumped and spun to see several men and women in desert brown fatigues with weapons leveled at their chests. Her hands raised to shield herself and several fingers twitched on their triggers, but the blasters did not waver as one of the group stepped forward and pulled off the thin mask that kept the sand out of her eyes. Rey didn't recognize the girl behind it. She might have been Rey's own age, though she was several inches shorter; with black hair done in a knot at the nape of her neck and slanted eyes narrowed in a fierce glare.

"Why have _you_ come back?" she asked, not looking away from Rey.

"I'm sorry," Rey said, "I don't think we've met. My name's R-"

"I know who you are," said the girl.

"Who are you?"

"Captain Tico."

"Captain," Kylo broke in, "We've come to negotiate peace between the Resistance and the First Order. General Organa granted us an audience, we ask only to see her."

The girl sneered and spat at Kylo's boots.

"Traitor," she hissed.

"We didn't come to trade insults," Decha said. "If we had, I could think of a few for you, _Captain_."

Captain Tico bared her teeth.

"I don't know what Leia's thinking, agreeing to meet with you three," she snapped. "I know it's only because of Rey, but if I had my choice, I'd send all of you straight to Chaos."

"We wouldn't go alone," Decha snarled back, hand going to his belt.

Rey backed up a pace and reached for her staff as the guns swung around to point at the Knight. Kylo took a step forward, hand outstretched, ready to stop the blasters from firing.

"Stand down, Decha," he said. "You're not helping."

Decha eyed him and shifted irritably but obeyed the order, hand slipping back to rest at his side. Rey kept her eyes on Kylo, the door in her mind cracked to read his emotions. He was on edge, but not afraid, and she felt her own fear ease. When he glanced over his shoulder and gave her a little nod, she understood.

"Please," she said, "take us to Leia. We're not here to fight or kill."

"That's all your kind know how to do," said the Captain. "My friends died because of you. My sister-"

Her fingers reached into her neckline and pulled out something that looked like a crescent moon, which she rubbed absently as she spoke.

"I don't want anyone else to die," Rey said, and she found that she meant it. "I want this war to be over, same as you."

"That's because you're part of the conquering army," the girl said. "You wouldn't if you were in our shoes."

Rey's mouth opened, then shut again when no answer came to her. The Captain gave her a condescending smile.

"Didn't think of that, did you, coward?"

Part of Rey wanted to retreat from Captain Tico's jeers, and the other part wanted to tear into the girl. Her anger beckoned her, tempting her to draw on the power that coursed just beneath its surface. She could harness it. All she had to do was surrender to the flow.

"Rey…" Kylo muttered, warning in his voice.

He didn't finish what he was about to say because, at that moment, Captain Tico's comm came to life with a hiss of static.

"Rose, have you found the enemy party?"

"Yes," she replied.

"Then where are you?" asked the voice. "General Organa expected you back as soon as you found them."

"On our way."

Captain Tico's mouth formed a hard line and she shoved the comm back in her pocket. She nodded to the soldiers. As one, they circled behind Rey, Kylo, and Decha, weapons still raised. Rey felt the barrel of a blaster press between her shoulder blades.

"Some peace negotiation," she growled.

"I'm bitter," said the Captain, and the blaster traveled upwards to rest against the back of her head.

"That's enough," Kylo said at her side. "This is a peace talk, not a battle."

"Could've fooled me," Captain Tico said, but Rey felt the weapon leave her head.

They traveled down the stone stairs until they reached an opening to a cavern that was so large Rey was sure the Silencer could fit through even if the wings were extended to their full length. Indeed, on the far side, she saw ships lining the cavern in neat rows. There weren't as many as there had been the last time she'd seen the hangar when the Resistance was still on D'Qar. There weren't as many mechanics working on them either. She only saw a dozen at work, and even fewer pilots.

Captain Tico marched them past the hangar bay, deeper into the dim light until they came to an opening into a smaller cavern. She held up a hand before they could enter and slipped inside. Rey heard the rise and fall of soft voices beyond and a second later, Captain Tico returned.

"She'll see you," she said.

Leia Organa-Solo, leader of the Resistance, stood as they entered. Her eyes went immediately to Kylo.

"Hello, Ben," she said, voice quiet.

Rey stepped quickly to hide behind Kylo, as she listened to the soft cadence of the woman's voice. Shame and regret burned in her. She remembered the first time she met Leia and how she imagined that beautiful voice to be her own mother's, comforting her and encouraging her in the days after Han's death. To the girl she had been, who had nothing and nobody, Leia was everything she'd ever dreamed a family might be.

More than anything, she wanted to step forward and be wrapped in the warm embrace that had greeted her from the first. But it wouldn't be there for her now. She had betrayed the Resistance, choosing to side with the dark power of Kylo Ren. Not for the first time since landing, she considered the possibility that she had made a terrible mistake.

"Ren," said another voice, cold and hard as stone.

"Commander Dameron," Kylo replied.

Poe.

"Where's your prize?" asked Poe. "We heard she landed with you."

Rey winced. It was a mistake for her to come along. Anything would be better than standing before her old friends with the growing realization that she no longer belonged. She had become a bargaining chip- a way to dishearten the Resistance. She hated herself for being the point on which everything balanced.

"I don't believe you," came a new voice from the passage outside.

The pounding of running feet preceded the living whirlwind that burst into the cavern behind her. She knew who it was even before she turned. His song was familiar music in her ears, even with the disbelief and anger that ran beneath it. Finn stood, gasping for air, staring at her from the entrance. He seemed to be light years away.

"Rey?" he asked, betrayal thick in his voice.

She fought back the tears that threatened to spill down her cheeks and managed to smile at the first friend she'd ever made. She was glad to see him alive.

"Hi Finn. It's good to see you awake again."

"What are you doing here?"

The tone of his voice and the fury on his face reminded her of her long ago dream and she instinctively reached for the staff at her shoulder. Finn's hand went to the blaster at his waist.

"Showing your true colors, are you, Sithspawn?" he sneered.

Kylo spun to face Finn, his teeth bared in a snarl.

"I'd watch your tongue if I were you."

"Go to Chaos," spat Finn.

"That's enough, both of you," said Leia.

Rey laid her hand on Kylo's arm.

"I can fight my own battles, Kylo," she said. "Leave it be."

Rey felt all eyes on the room follow the gesture, and Finn's scowl deepened. She withdrew her hand, but Kylo eased toward her until his arm brushed hers. A show of solidarity and a reminder for her that she was not alone.

 _Thank you,_ she whispered in her mind.

"You abandoned us for this scum?" Finn exploded, eyes tracking Kylo's movement.

"He's not scum," Rey said, fast approaching the edge of her temper. "What do you know about it anyway?"

"A lot more than a naïve little girl with stars in her eyes like you. I can't believe you're even defending him, Rey. Are you sleeping with him? Is that why?"

Rey felt her face flush bright red. She glanced over just in time to see the blood working up Kylo's neck to his ears.

"I am _not-_ " she sputtered, "Why would you even _ask-_ "

"That's _enough_!" shouted Leia, silencing the crowd with the strength of her words. "Finn, if you cannot be civil, then leave the room."

The general stood apart from it all, separated by the table serving as her desk, observing all with a fierce glare. Despite the expression, to Rey she seemed the one safe harbor in the storm that raged around her.

Leia set down the cracked datapad she was holding and walked around the table to draw close to Rey. Her deep brown eyes were fixed on Rey's face and Rey could hear her starting to reach for the Force. Kylo took a step forward to intercept his mother, but she brushed past him. Poe's expression was dark with anger, an emotion Rey saw reflected on almost every face as Leia approached. She didn't know which way to look first, so she turned her eyes down and examined the floor.

To her astonishment, she found herself wrapped in a tight hug as Leia pressed a kiss against her cheek.

"Welcome back," she said. "We were so worried about you."

Rey couldn't bring herself to meet the general's eyes.

"I'm glad you weren't among those killed in the escape to Crait," she murmured. "I watched from Snoke's throne room and prayed you would all escape."

"It had a great cost, but we survived," Leia said, voice low and sad.

"I'm sorry-"

"Stop pretending like you care," snapped Finn, stepping forward with his fists clenched. "You chose your side. You turned on us for that…that monster."

"Be quiet Finn," said Leia.

Rey opened her mouth to speak but found that she couldn't find the words to unburden her heart. An apology seemed inadequate. Tears filled her eyes and ran down her cheeks.

"He's right," she whispered, "I did choose."

Kylo's fingers brushed hers and she gripped them. There was a brief jolt of the familiar electricity, then a new strength flowing into her. She raised her head.

"Until today, I didn't regret my choice either," she said. "I only missed the friends I left behind. But I can see that they didn't miss me."

Mutters and growls of anger ran through the room, loudest of all from Finn, but Leia's face remained peaceful with her keen gaze resting on their interlocked fingers. Rey thought she saw a twitch at the corner of the general's mouth that reminded her of a smile.

"We have much to discuss," she said, looking back at the small group gathered around the entrance to the tunnel. "You all may return to your duties."

"But-"said Captain Tico and Finn as one.

"That was not a suggestion," Leia said, with a voice and expression that left no room for argument.

Most of the group slunk out, but Poe did not move.

"Poe-"

"I won't leave you alone with them," he said. "He killed Han, what makes you think he won't kill you too?"

Kylo flinched and Leia's face twisted in pain.

"Because even though he has done terrible things, he is my son," she said. "If you're so concerned, wait outside the door. I'll call if I need help."

"But-"

"Now, Dameron."

Poe scowled and left the room where he positioned himself outside the doorway with enough noise that he reminded Rey of a child throwing a tantrum.

"Decha, you too," Kylo said. "Go back to the ships. We won't need your skills here, and your presence is only putting everyone that much more on edge."

Decha dipped his head in a slight bow and left, nodding to Poe where the man stood guard. Leia watched him go.

"How he's grown," she said, a wistful look on her face.

"We all have," Kylo said.

Leia nodded.

"I believe you have come to negotiate peace between us?"

"Yes."

"And what are your conditions?"

Kylo sighed and his head bowed low.

"Unconditional surrender."

"I thought it might be so."

"I cannot guarantee your safety, nor the safety of the rest of the Resistance."

"I know. I didn't expect anything different."

"And what answer do you give?"

"No."

Kylo sighed.

"I didn't expect anything less from you, General Organa," he said, "though I wish it might be different, and peace could be achieved."

"We both know what happens if I surrender. If you cannot guarantee our safety, then our only choice is death. I would rather we die fighting than surrender and die anyway."

Kylo dipped his head in a nod.

"I'll relay your answer to General Hux."

"The _Finalizer_ is just outside the planet's orbit," Rey said, glancing at Kylo. "It would be wise if you made yourselves scarce."

Kylo didn't so much as blink as she told the Resistance general their position. Leia just gave her a sad smile.

"Where would we go?" she asked. "We don't have the resources for long distance space travel- all of our crafts are for short range flying and fighting."

"It's worth a try," she pleaded. "Anything's better than sitting here waiting for the end."

"We won't be sitting here, when the end comes," Leia said. "We'll give you a fight, don't worry."

"I might be able to convince Hux to change the conditions- provide some assurances," Kylo said.

"Kylo," Rey breathed, "you know he won't-"

"We don't know anything yet," he said.

"Yes, you do," Leia said. "You just don't like the answer. You're going to have to face the truth, one way or another, Ben. You killed your father, now you ally yourself with the man who will kill your mother."

"Hux is not my ally," Kylo said.

"Then who is your ally?" Leia asked with a small smile. "Who do you rely on?"

His eyes betrayed him, darting straight to Rey.

"I thought as much," said Leia. "You have my answer, Ben, and there's nothing more to negotiate. Now, I would like to speak to this young woman alone."

Kylo glanced at Rey, searching her face for permission to leave her alone with the general of the Resistance. Rey dipped her chin a fraction of an inch and he gave her fingers a squeeze before leaving her to stand on her own before Leia. For a moment Rey was afraid of her, but when she saw how soft Leia's face had turned, it faded into nothing.

"How are you Rey?" Leia asked. "I mean how are you, really?"

Rey blinked, surprised.

"I'm fine," she said.

"Are you certain?"

"Yes. I meant it when I said I didn't regret my choice."

"But there's something you do regret?"

Rey dropped her gaze to study the floor, thoughts spinning through her head. She remembered Kylo's hands in hers and the way he spoke to her in her mind. She remembered the electricity that flickered over her skin when they touched and how much of a comfort it was to be near him. But then she remembered what Kylo had done and who Snoke had molded him to be.

"Yes," she whispered. "I wish I'd been at his side before now."

"As do I," Leia said, reaching out to rest a hand against Rey's cheek.

Rey leaned into her touch, closing her eyes and wishing for all the galaxy that she would have had the opportunity to know Leia better.

"I think you remind him of who he used to be and who he wants to be again."

Rey's eyes snapped open to see Leia's half smile.

"Oh yes," Leia said, "we may not have spoken in years, but I know my son."

Rey jerked back and away, frightened of the implication behind Leia's words. She shook her head.

"I am his apprentice," she explained. "My destiny is to fight at his side and die there if I must. Nothing more, nothing less."

Leia cupped her hand under Rey's chin and raised it so Rey had to look at her.

"I didn't get to be general of the Resistance by believing lies like that," she chuckled. "We both know that destinies are not always what they seem."

"It's not a lie," Rey protested.

"Perhaps not," Leia said, "But it isn't the whole truth either."

She leaned forward and gently kissed Rey's forehead.

"I'd rather it was you than anyone else in the galaxy," she said. "Lead him back to the light, Rey. Please. For me."

Rey returned to Kylo with the weight of Leia's request on her shoulders. He gave her a questioning look the second he saw her face, but she didn't let him in. Leia walked quietly behind them, Poe at her side glaring daggers at the backs of their heads.

They had almost reached the cave that served as a hangar when Rey realized she wasn't hearing four pairs of feet anymore- two had fallen back. Kylo sensed it too and they both stopped and turned in time to see Leia finish saying something to Poe as he disappeared down a side tunnel. Kylo glanced at Rey, but her staff was already off her shoulder, ready for a threat to appear.

Leia gave them a wry smile as she returned.

"No need for weapons," she said. "I guaranteed your safety. You've lived too long among traitors if you've lost faith in even that."

Kylo's eyes roved the hangar beyond and Rey noted the increase in bodies and the frantic pace at which they all moved. Poe moved about, speaking with each and gesturing with his hands while BB-8 bounced along behind him, chattering away in chirps and beeps. Leia had been lying. They were going to leave.

The knowledge that Leia hadn't trusted her enough to tell her the truth stung in a way Rey hadn't expected. It was a sharper pain than Poe's open hostility and Finn's insults, deep as a knife thrust- an open wound in her chest. She knew she should fight the mix of anger and sadness that rose in her but chose not to. It was almost a relief to just give in and feel again. She'd never been told to limit her emotions before. Why had that changed when the Force chose her?

Kylo, sensing her mood, reached for her through the bond. She ignored him and would have kept walking if his hand hadn't closed on her wrist.

"A word, Rey?"

She yielded, allowing him to pull her into a shadowed corner a few steps away from his mother. Leia didn't seem to mind, even backing up to give them space. Kylo glanced around to make sure they were alone before he began.

"Go back," he said, fingers closing around hers. "They're going to leave, and I want you to go with them. It might take them a while, but they'll trust you again."

"What do you mean?" she asked, not believing what she was hearing. "What about you? You'll be alone."

"I'll be fine. And we'll see each other again soon," he said, tapping the side of his head with a half-hearted smile.

Rey shook her head.

"It can't be both," she said. "I can't be torn between both forever, belonging nowhere. I've lived that half-life for too long."

"Then go with them," he said, desperation on his face. "I won't use the bond. You'll be free of me- I swear on the Force. Please, just go with them and hide somewhere far away. You're not safe with me."

Rey glanced over her shoulder, back toward the tunnels. A small crowd had gathered, staring at them with anger thick on their features. Finn stood off to the side, teeth bared in an expression of hatred and disgust. She turned back to Kylo.

"There's no place for me here anymore," she said, tears filling her eyes.

"But-"

"Let's go home, Kylo," she whispered, no strength left for another argument.

"Rey-"

Rey knew Leia was watching them, but she didn't say it for Leia. She didn't even say it for Kylo. She said it because for the first time in her life, she felt as if she belonged and death itself would have to take her before she gave that up. It didn't matter what had happened in the past. She only knew the present, and the present was more than enough in an uncertain galaxy.

"I don't want to go back," she said. "I want to stay with you."

Kylo's breath was a sudden, sharp sound in the quiet air between them. His fingers went tight around hers as emotions flashed across his features too quickly for her to read. They settled into a resignation that she might have thought was disappointment if she didn't sense the happiness coursing just under his surface.

"Alright," he said. "Let's go home."

Rey turned, gave a little nod to Leia who smiled and waved back, and started up the passage to the world outside holding Kylo's hand for the entire Resistance to see. For the first time in a long time, she felt sure of her path and her choice and found that there was joy in it.

They were almost at the entrance to the cave when the world cracked around them.


	18. Chapter 18: Rey

A bright light blasted through the entrance to the tunnels, turning the brown twilight to broad day, and the noise of splitting stone deafened her ears. Fire flared along the walls, licking at the rhydonium residue and igniting pockets of it just below the surface of the stone. The cave floor rocked and Rey staggered forward, losing hold of Kylo's hand in the fight to keep her balance. A piece of rock dislodged itself from the ceiling and crashed to the ground scarcely a meter away. Pebbles rained down on her head and clouds of dust rose to blind her. She turned in a circle, confused and terrified. Screams echoed through the caverns until the rumbling of falling rock drowned them.

Where was the way out?

"Kylo?" she shouted. "Where are you?"

" _Rey! Get down!_ "

Something pushed her hard from behind, and Rey stumbled, only to fall flat on her stomach as another tremor shook the cavern. A weight pressed down on top of her, crushing the air from her lungs. She turned her head just enough to see that it was Kylo. He stretched himself flat on top of her, cradling her head with his arms, ragged breathing rasping in her ear.

"Stay still," he shouted above the noise.

Rey froze, praying for the chaos to stop. But it didn't. It went on and on: thousands of tons of rock crumbling down around them, sending clouds of dust billowing through the air. Kylo's weight pressed her into the ground, shielding her as debris rained down on them. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't see. She couldn't hear anything but the horrible roaring and Kylo's breathing in her ears. Dust filled her nose and mouth, parching her throat and stealing her voice. She wanted to scream. She wanted to claw her way into the open air and curse at the sky. She wanted it to stop. She just wanted it all to stop.

Kylo was saying something, but she couldn't make out what he was trying to tell her. The noise went on until she thought it couldn't possibly keep going and then it went on longer. It felt like the world was crumbling under her, shaking and jumping like an earthquake. She covered her ears and closed her eyes. Maybe it was another of her horrible dreams. Maybe this one would disappear when she woke and melt into blissful nothingness.

But it didn't.

The noise lasted for several minutes more, before gradually dying away into silence. Rey lifted her head only to duck again at a loud crack and the whistle of a piece of stone as the ignition of another fuel pocket turned it into a missile. She couldn't wrap her mind around what had happened. The world around them had turned to rubble. The daylight had vanished, leaving only the dull red light of the fires that burned everywhere. Starships lay at strange angles, some completely covered in rock, some mangled beyond both repair and recognition. They looked like the strange crumpled ships she'd scavenged on Jakku. Heaps of junk. But this time, she knew the people that had died inside them.

"How are we still alive?" she asked, her voice hoarse.

"A shield," Kylo said. "It deflected the worst of it."

"But I didn't-"

"I did," he said simply.

He groaned as he got to his hands and knees to crawl away from her. Rey sat up beside him, staring at the man she scarcely recognized. Kylo's face, hair, and clothing were coated in dust and a trickle of blood ran down his temple. Blood matted down the hair on the back of his head as well and he seemed to be struggling to focus his eyes.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

"I'm fine," she gasped. "Are you?"

"Nothing serious," he said. "Shields aren't perfect."

For the first time, Rey realized that, apart from their own voices and the crackle of fire, there were no other sounds. They were alone in darkness and heat.

"Kylo-" she whispered, stretching for the Force.

"Don't-" he started, but too late.

Rey sensed it as he spoke. The songs of her friends- the ones she had grown accustomed to hearing had disappeared. The silence in the Force hit her so hard that she leaned forward and gagged, gasping for air that seemed to have been pulled from her lungs. A sob broke from her.

"No," she wailed. "No, no, no."

Kylo dragged himself to his feet and held out a hand to her.

"Come on Rey," he said. "We have to go."

She crouched there, trembling with fear and anger.

"I can't leave them here," she whispered into the dust. "Someone might be alive."

"You know as well as I do that there's no one left."

She shook her head, refusing to give up. She tried again, straining her ears for anything she might have missed. Nothing. It was as if there was a vacuum surrounding them, devoid of all but-

"Wait!" she cried. "Wait, I think I hear something."

Rey scrambled to her feet, dizzy and unsteady on the loose stone underfoot. Hope and despair boiled in her chest and she listened harder, fighting past the ringing in her ears.

"There!" she cried, pointing in a direction. "It's Leia! I know it is."

Together they crawled over the stone, squeezing through cracks between boulders, sometimes pushing them aside with the Force. Every now and again an ominous rumble would echo through the caves as another part of the ceiling collapsed. Rey tried not to look at the bodies, but when she saw a tuft of dust coated dark hair, she froze. He would have been unrecognizable if she hadn't seen the old leather jacket with the symbol of the Resistance on its shoulder. It was his trademark, and one he was rarely without.

Poe lay prone on the cold floor of the cave beneath a slab of stone. Most of him was covered in a pile of debris, but Rey could make out the strange angle of his neck and the blood pooling out from his mouth. She didn't need to listen to know that he was dead. Beside him lay several pieces of scrap painted white and a cheerful orange that Rey remembered well. Poe's face was peaceful in his final rest, but the horrible shock of seeing him so still and silent gripped Rey's heart in icy fingers.

"Poe?" she asked, knowing there wouldn't be an answer.

"Come on Rey," said Kylo gently.

"But-"

"There's nothing we can do for him."

An image of Poe's smile flashed through her mind. She wished that it had been the last expression she'd seen on his face, but the memory of his anger was closer than the memory of his happiness. She managed to fight back the tears and press onward, Kylo's hand at her elbow to keep her steady. Finn was nowhere to be seen, and she tried not to look. She wasn't sure what she would do if she found him dead.

Leia's song was fading even as Rey listened and she scrambled over the rubble as fast as she could, cracking her knees against twisted pieces of metal and scraping her palms against stone. Kylo seemed to sense his mother's waning presence in the Force and Rey felt his growing desperation.

"General Organa?" he shouted, voice dying in the thick air.

"Leia?" called Rey.

A low moan answered them, then fell into silence. Rey listened harder, head tilted in the direction from which the sound had come. She slid down a pile of loose stone, raising more dust to coat her lungs. Rey coughed and squinted her eyes, using her frustration to tune to the Force. She heard the familiar low hum and her vision suddenly cleared. The darkness and dust became less of a hindrance, and she found she could clearly make out every rock and bit of debris. She was just about to turn away and keep looking when she saw the hand. It protruded from under the wreckage of a starship, wrist ringed with a gold bracelet. Leia's gold bracelet.

"Kylo!" Rey shouted. "I found her!"

He scrambled down beside her.

"Where?"

"Under the ship. Help me get her out."

The metal groaned as Rey worked her fingers into a joint and struggled to lift it, but it didn't move more than an inch. The stone piled atop the ship had so twisted it that she wasn't sure if they would be able to do any more. She threw her full strength behind her next push and tried again to lift the sheet of metal even a fraction of an inch further. Leia screamed in pain and both Rey and Kylo flinched.

"Don't," came the muffled voice. "Don't. Please."

Kylo glanced at her.

"Pull it off in pieces," he said. "Use the Force if you have to."

Rey nodded, already stretching out her hands and calling on the music with which she was so familiar. It welled up around her, the notes a welcome relief in the silence. Rey tugged on the metal, peeling it back layer by layer and flinging each aside. Kylo was beside her doing the same with stones and other debris while he watched the ship's stability. Rey pulled the last sheet of metal free and cleared away a pile of rock. A darker shape moved feebly in the shadows of a little hollow beneath the wing of the ship. Rey peered closer, getting her first good look at the trapped woman.

"Oh no…"

Leia lay on her back with her eyes open, staring at nothing. Her face was pale and drawn with pain and her breathing was shallow. It took Rey a moment to see the reason. A jagged piece of steel projected from Leia's abdomen, a foot long with a razor-sharp edge. It was still attached to the x-wing and Rey instantly saw why Leia had screamed when they tried to move the ship.

"Rey?"

"She's here. I can't move her."

Kylo slipped through the wreckage and crouched next to Rey.

"Oh," he whispered.

He fell onto his knees, extending a trembling hand to stroke his mother's cheek. Leia's broken body lay still except for the slight rise of her chest. Rey watched it, praying the Force would be merciful and give her more time. Leia's eyelids flickered at Kylo's touch and Rey felt hope touch her. But the second she looked back at the horrible shard of metal and the blood soaking into the knees of Kylo's breeches, she knew.

"Ben?" Leia whispered, voice little more than an exhale.

"I'm sorry, Leia," he said, "This is all my fault."

Rey saw tears beginning to carve tracks in the dust on his face.

"Ben…" Leia breathed again, fingers twitching at her side.

Kylo reached down and clasped it in his hands.

"Right here," he whispered, opening her fingers and pressing his cheek against her palm as he closed his eyes. "Right here, mother."

Leia gave a little smile, but Rey saw the unnatural paleness of her lips and saw the pool of blood edging outward.

"Can you heal her?" she asked quietly.

Kylo shook his head.

"The wound would need to be clear," he said, voice thick with tears and his despair. "If we pull the piece of metal, she'd bleed out before I could fix it. I can't bring people back from the dead."

A tiny whimper escaped Rey and she pressed her fingers tight against her mouth to silence her grief. Leia's fingers stroked Kylo's face.

"My son," she whispered. "You've come back to me."

Kylo shook his head.

"No, mother. I can't. Not yet."

"You stayed away for so long," Leia said, continuing as if she hadn't heard.

"I wish-," he said, voice choking off mid-sentence. "I'm so sorry."

"I know." she whispered. "I know you are. I'm just glad you're here…at the end."

"No," he moaned. "Please mother…"

"Forgive …yourself, Ben," she slurred, eyelids fluttering as she tried and failed to open them. "I have."

"I can't-"

"Rey…" gasped Leia, her breaths coming fast and shallow in her desperation to speak. "Promise…me…"

Rey opened her mouth to say that she remembered what the general had asked of her, but Leia's song faded into silence before she could speak. Kylo felt it too and the wave of grief that rolled over him was so great that it stole the air from Rey's lungs. He curled in on himself, clutching Leia's cooling hand against his chest, body shaking with silent sobs. Rey knelt beside him and wrapped an arm around his waist, burying her face in his shoulder. Her own tears flowed down her cheeks in rivers.

Even in her grief, she kept listening to the Force, praying that by some miracle she would hear another song. Only silence met her ears. Silence, and Kylo's music at her side, the notes of his aching sorrow echoing her own.

Kylo swiped at his eyes with his sleeve, smudging the dust into mud on his cheeks. He looked up at her and then back at Leia's body.

"We can't take her with us," he said. "I wanted to. I couldn't bury my father. I wanted to at least bury my mother."

"This is a good place," Rey replied. "And she'll be with those she held dear."

Kylo was silent as he held Leia's hand. Rey could feel his exhaustion as if it were her own. Her joints ached and her chest burned with grief and anger. Kylo folded Leia's arms over her chest, avoiding looking at the piece of metal as he did. He stroked Leia's hair back from her forehead and pressed a kiss against her cheek.

"Sleep well, mother," he said.

They stood and began to pick their way through the debris, searching for the blocked mouth of the cave. Somewhere behind them, there was a rumble of falling stone as another section of the roof caved in. Rey foot caught on something and she stumbled forward, gashing her hand on a sharp piece of stone when she tried to catch herself. When she looked down to see what she'd tripped over, she nearly cried out. A body lay half buried in rubble with only its legs visible. Blood oozed around her boots- so much blood that she could smell it. She couldn't tell who it was, but coming face to face with more death paralyzed her. Kylo glanced back at her and stopped when he saw her face.

"Rey?"

The realization that she was standing in a tomb finally sank in, stinging like the blow of an open hand across the face. Rey began to shake. Her body trembled as though with chills; teeth chattering, muscles twitching. Something inside her was falling and she was afraid of what would happen when it shattered. The darkness around her seemed to grow closer and she shuddered, wrapping her arms around herself for warmth. The silence seemed to grow until she was desperate for noise. Anything to drown the terrible emptiness in the Force- to fill the void left by the destruction of so many beautiful songs.

As if it had heard her thoughts, a stone crashed to the floor at her side, making her jump forward. Kylo darted toward her, one hand extended to the ceiling.

"We've got to get out of here," he said. "The whole place is about to come down."

They made their way as best they could, staggering over loose rock, tripping on uneven places in the floor and things that Rey didn't dare look at. Kylo seemed to know where they were going, so she followed him until they came to a mound of stone and refuse piled nearly to the roof of the cave. Kylo thrust out his arms, and Rey followed his movements, tugging at the Force as she did. The rocks trembled, sliding to the floor around them, some hovering for a few moments before striking the floor with a sharp crack. Pebbles clattered down and dust rose into the air.

A shaft of light pierced the darkness around them, making Rey squint and shield her eyes. The hot, bright light streamed in around them, illuminating the destruction. Rey fixed her eyes on the desert beyond the cave and refused to look behind her. As Kylo shoved against the last of the stones piled over the entrance, she listened one last time, desperate to hear something more than the awful silence.

Nothing.

 _It wasn't fair._

That one thought rattled through her mind as a dark anger reared its head, swallowing her grief and using it as fuel. It wasn't fair. She might have turned her back on the Resistance, but she couldn't deny the part of herself that still loved its people. She hadn't realized it until it was too late, and that alone raised a storm of fury inside her. Her jaw worked and her fists clenched at her sides as she fought to control herself. She closed her eyes and concentrated, pulling in a deep breath and letting it out slowly. The anger did not dissipate, but she managed to keep it in check.

Kylo sensed her roiling emotions and turned to her, taking her hand in his and squeezing.

"Keep your mind from it," he said.

Rey nodded and they stepped out into the sunlight. Only then did she see how Kylo's shoulders slumped and that the blood still ran freely down the back of his head.

"You're hurt-"

"I'm fine," he said, shortly. "I'll use bacta when we get back to the ship."

A whistling above their heads made them both duck back into the shadows at the mouth of the cave, peering out into the bright daylight as a ship whizzed over the sand at the top of the canyon before angling into a dive over the edge of the cliff. It pulled up quickly, leveling out several meters above the canyon floor, speeding straight for them.

"Thank the Force," Kylo breathed.

In the bright light Rey didn't recognize the ship until it swooped in for a landing, blasting sand back at them. The instant the ship stopped, the hatched popped open and Decha leapt out. His eyes were wild and he ran to them, seizing first Kylo and then Rey in a tight hug. Rey yelped in surprise and pain and pushed him away. Decha didn't seem to notice.

"I came as soon as I got back to the ship," he said, not even pausing for a breath. "I was half way back to them when the bomber flew over. I didn't know what was happening until I heard the explosions. I thought for sure you were both dead."

"Did you get a look at the markings on the ship?"

Decha paled.

"I did. It was the First Order."

"Why am I not surprised," Kylo said.

"Kylo, you've got to let us help you," Decha pleaded. "Hux will keep trying. You need us there."

"No."

"Please, Kylo. You're our brother. None of us want to lose you."

"I will not put the younglings at risk," Kylo thundered. "I will not have them hunted down and killed in the corridors of their home. Not again."

Rey winced at his tone and Decha retreated backward. The knight held up his hands in surrender.

"I hope you know what you're doing."

"Take Parvan and get out of here," Kylo said. "I'll comm when we get things sorted out."

Decha scowled.

"When will you cut the head off of that snake?" he asked.

"When it won't put every person I care about at risk," Kylo said. "Now get out of here. That's an order."

Decha dipped his head in a bow, but his face was full of worry.

"Can't I at least take you back to your ship? You're both hurt."

"We're fine. A ship is easier to see than two people walking."

The knight nodded, then started for the hatch of the fighter. Rey thought she saw a child's face peering out of the cockpit window. A small hand raised and gave her a little wave just as the engines began to whine as Decha gave it power. She shielded her eyes against the flying dust just in time for the ship to rocket away, banking, then climbing at a steep angle as it shot for the stars.

Together, they watched it disappear into the atmosphere, before turning and beginning the long trek up the stone stairs. Some had crumbled in the blast and there were large gaps where they were missing, but between the ones that were there and the rubble of the ones that weren't, they made it to the top of the canyon. Rey staggered upright and stared out over the desert.

"What happens when we go back?" she asked.

"I don't know."

He turned away from her and started to walk. Rey trailed after him, stumbling in her weariness and the pain in her body. As she walked, memories of those lying dead under hundreds of tons of stone came back to her. She remembered Finn's excited chatter when she'd fixed the _Millennium Falcon_ and how he'd fought for her when she had no one else in the galaxy. She remembered Poe's cheeky grin and how much he loved BB-8. Leia's soft eyes and the kiss she'd pressed against Rey's forehead were still fresh in her mind, both as painful as a new wound.

The memories churned with her grief and the new ferocious anger rose again in her chest. Despite the blazing heat of the desert around her, her insides felt cold. She shivered, and thoughts of a cave on Ahch-To flashed through her mind. For a second, the thought she saw her reflection, mirrored a hundred thousand times. The dark music echoed softly in her ears, enticing her. She felt herself drifting closer and fought to pull herself out of the spiral. She was so tired.

 _Keep your mind from it,_ whispered Kylo's voice in her head.

She obeyed with difficulty, dragging her thoughts from the freezing blackness. To distract herself, she stared straight ahead at the back of Kylo's head. The blood was beginning to congeal, a dark crust that pasted his hair into a dark clump. He limped through the sand, hobbling on an ankle Rey hadn't noticed was injured. She crept up beside him.

"Kylo?"

He grunted in reply.

"Let me help you?"

"I'm alright."

Rey ignored him and grabbed his arm, ducking under so it fell across her shoulders. She wrapped her other arm around his waist, letting him lean into her. The weight reminded her that he had shielded her with his own body, protecting her as the world fell into Chaos. She remembered his words with Decha at the cave mouth. He'd said he wouldn't kill Hux until he knew it wouldn't get anyone he cared about killed.

"Kylo?"

Another pained grunt for an answer.

"Why do you protect me? I'm not worth it."

Kylo said nothing, just glanced at her and limped onward through the shifting sand.

Rey was tempted to read his mind but thought better of it. She was afraid of what she would find if she looked. Instead, she craned her neck over her shoulder. The anomaly of the planet's atmosphere hid their footprints even as they made them, erasing the trail and hiding the destruction they'd left behind. Rey brought her eyes forward again and focused on putting one foot in front of the other, arms tight around Kylo. The path behind was gone, she had only to follow its invisible continuation as it stretched before her feet.

There would be no more looking back.


	19. Chapter 19: Rey

A/N: Hi guys! Glad you liked the last chapter (though to be honest, I was kind of afraid I was going to face some torches and pitchforks for that one). Thanks again to everyone who's still with me and to all those who post such kind reviews. Thanks too (again) to FenrisInside for the continued assistance on all things Star Wars. Hope you all enjoy this chapter: post a review to let me know what you think!

* * *

The flight back to the _Finalizer_ was quiet. Rey sat cross-legged, eyes closed and ears open, intent on finding the peace that seemed to have abandoned her. But the more she pursued it, the more it seemed to elude her. She growled in frustration and pitched a stone she'd found in her boot at the wall with such ferocity that it bounced back and struck her leg. She let out a low curse and dropped her head into her hands, fighting tears of anger.

Everything was wrong.

Kylo did not speak, nor did he turn to look at her. She could hear his rage as it ran just under his still exterior. The darkness in him was the same as the darkness that hovered on the edge of her own mind, a seductive melody that sang straight to the fury in her heart. She tried to block it out but no matter how hard she fought, it continued to drift in, notes catching and tangling with hers. The dissonance set her teeth on edge.

"Tell me you have a plan," she muttered at Kylo's back.

"Get back, keep our heads down and our eyes open. One of these days Hux is going to hang himself."

"Don't hold back for my sake, Kylo. I want that son of a bantha dead as much as you do. I'd gladly die if I could take him with me."

Kylo's knuckles went white on the yoke.

"His death isn't worth your life, Rey."

"He just killed the last of your family. How can you say that it wouldn't be worth one life if it meant you could rid the galaxy of him."

"Not one life. Your life," he said. "I'm not willing to make that sacrifice for a man like Hux."

"Why not?" she asked, anger curling through her again.

The comm crackled to life before Kylo could open his mouth.

"Requesting landing codes."

Kylo rattled off the series of numbers into the comm and flicked several switches.

" _Finalizer_ be advised, we sustained heavy damage during outbound flight. Coolant line to the reactor blew. Ship's hot."

"Roger. We'll have a team standing by."

Kylo shut off the transmission and rested both hands on the yoke again. He didn't turn to look back at her until the _Silencer_ slid through the hangar doors. They crawled out of the hatch together in silence and walked through the corridors, heading for the bridge. As they traveled, Rey heard the music of the dark side starting to gather around Kylo like a storm cloud. The same low music of his fury pulsed in the back of her mind, calling for her to reach out to it. With every step she fought to disentangle herself from the clinging emotion, waging a war in her attempt to find peace. Her mind was fraying, her grip on what was true loosening. She pulled at her ears, inwardly begging the music to leave her.

They reached the bridge before she could calm herself and when they entered, her blood was still frozen in her veins from the anger that flowed with it. She prayed Kylo would speak and everyone would ignore her, but when the door hissed open and all eyes in the room turned to them, she felt every muscle in her body go tight. Kylo's words repeated in her mind, but she wasn't sure they would be enough to hold her back.

Hux stood in the middle of the room, back to them. She wanted to spit at him. She'd watched Leia die because of him. She'd seen Poe lying broken and bloody because of him. Finn's song had fallen silent because of him. Rey seethed, fury shrieking in her ears. Her fingers twitched at her sides.

" _Hux!_ " bellowed Kylo as he stalked into the command center. "Who gave orders to deploy that bomber?"

The general flinched and spun, his face flying through several indiscernible emotions before fixing in an expression of false concern.

"I'm so sorry, Supreme Leader," Hux said. "We'd received intel that the Resistance rejected the terms of surrender. We thought you were out of their base."

"We weren't," Kylo said, "but that's besides the point. You just ordered a military action without my knowledge or permission. That's sedition, general."

"The surrender was to be unconditional," Hux spat. "You didn't contact us, my intelligence said they rejected the surrender. I made the choice to act without orders."

"Be careful, Hux," Kylo snarled back at him. "That's a step from a coup."

"I did what I thought was best."

"And Rey and I were almost killed."

"Well maybe if your _apprentice_ was an asset instead of a distraction-"

"Don't you dare drag her into this."

Rey reached forward and wrapped her fingers around his wrist, squeezing gently as she stepped out from behind him to face the general.

Hux's face twisted into scorn when he saw her.

"Ren's loyal dog returns," he said, eyeing her up and down.

Rey suppressed the urge to spill his blood, clenching her fists until her nails dug into her palms.

"You didn't even give the people in that base a chance."

"This is who you would ally yourself with, Ren?" Hux said, looking past her to Kylo. "A friend of the enemy?"

"I had no friends there," Rey hissed. "But you committed a war crime when you bombed them during a ceasefire."

"What do you know of war crimes?"

"Enough to know that an attack under flag of truce is a violation."

Hux snorted.

"You're a naïve child who understands nothing of high politics."

Rey bared her teeth.

"And you are a tyrant that isn't fit to hold the position that you do."

Hux's face flushed red and his expression twisted into a snarl. He stalked forward until he was almost nose to nose with her. Rey stood tall under his furious glare and scowled back, hand on her saber hilt. She felt Kylo shift behind her, but didn't break Hux's gaze. He reminded her of one of the dogs she'd encountered while scavenging on Jakku: wild and dangerous.

"Keep your tongue between your teeth or I'll cut it out, you little viper."

Rey smirked.

"I may be a snake, but at least I'm not the bastard son of a commandant and a kitchen maid."

Hux froze.

"Wrong choice, Rey," said Kylo's voice in her mind.

Hux's hand came up and grasped her under the chin, forcing her to look at him. Behind her, she could hear Kylo's music rumbling with a sudden fury. Against her will, fear started to gnaw at her insides. She'd miscalculated. Hux leaned forward, breath washing over her face. She wanted to flinch away from him, but the hand under her chin held her fast. His fingers were mere inches from her neck.

"You are nothing but a little junk scavenger," said Hux, a savage smile on his face. "You were always nothing and you will always be nothing."

With his words something dark coiled in Rey's chest, drawing tight like a snake. Grief and rage fed the darkness and she heard a crackling and thrumming like that of a lightning storm rising around her. She wrenched free of Hux's grasp, her face furious and red. Rey was tired. She was tired of fighting the darkness. She was tired of fighting the words people threw at her and she was tired of fighting for their expectations. She was tired of fighting herself. And so she let go. And for a moment, there was relief.

But only for a heartbeat.

Then the darkness roared through her like a wave of sound, drowning the music of the light side and bringing with it a terror she'd known only in passing. Power surged, its low song rumbling like thunder inside her. It hurt. There was an aching hunger in her gut- a hole that she'd sensed in Kylo, but never fully understood before it opened in her own soul. It was a desire that she wanted filled with a desperation she'd never know. She had crossed the line into Chaos.

And yet, Chaos felt good.

Without realizing exactly what she was doing, her hand shot up and grasped at the air. Hux gasped and clutched at his throat as though trying to pry away invisible fingers. His face began to turn a deep red.

"I'll kill you for that, Hux." she hissed. "Slowly."

Hux didn't reply, but his skin began to turn a bluish purple. Rey couldn't help but smile. The dark side sang to her in a way the light side never had. It tuned to her emotion, harmonizing with her song and hers alone. She stretched out with her mind and turned every ounce of her rage into a song, entwining it with the dark side. It responded and she felt the surge of power in her muscles. Her fingers squeezed a little tighter. Hux kicked feebly in her grasp.

"Am I a distraction now, Hux?" she asked. "Am I something you can trifle with?"

The man shook his head.

"Rey."

She ignored Kylo's warning and closed her fingers tighter around the general's throat.

"Rey!"

A tingle at the back of her neck warned her a fraction of a second before it happened. Her hand jerked up just as Phasma's blaster discharged. The bolt veered off its course for her back and into a wall where it splintered into a shower of sparks. She spun like a wild animal, already tightening an invisible grip on Phasma's neck.

"Rey. Stop."

She was listening so hard to the dark side that the hand on her arm surprised her. Kylo's fingers wrapped around her wrist. She blinked, looking about to see several dozen blasters pointed at her. Kylo's other hand was stretched out towards the men holding the weapons, beckoning them to hold fire.

"Let go of them," he said.

"No."

"Rey, once you do this, you can never go back."

"I don't care."

Kylo's eyes met hers, then fixed there. He jerked backwards and away from her with something like shock painting his features.

"Your eyes-" he said, wonder in his voice.

Rey ignored him, turning her attention back to her prey.

"Rey, look at me," Kylo said. "You don't want to do this."

"Oh, I've been wanting to do this for a long time," Rey said, feeling a grim smile of satisfaction working over her face as she pressed down tighter on the neck of her enemies.

"They'll kill you, Rey."

"You think I care if I die? Go ahead and let them try to shoot me."

"I can't do that."

"Why not?" she said, releasing Hux and Phasma to round on him. "Tell me why not, Kylo Ren. I am nobody in this world and I have nobody. I might as well be dead."

Kylo glanced around him, first at Hux, then Phasma, then all the officers with their blasters raised.

"You still have me," he said in her mind. "Don't throw away your life because of what they did."

"I want him dead," she said, speaking through the bond.

"We'll get our chance. We just have to be patient."

"I'm tired of being patient."

Kylo reached out to her, then dropped his hand as he glanced about.

"I know," he said. "I'm tired too."

Rey gripped her saber in a death grip.

"Then let me kill him."

Kylo did touch her then, cupping her chin in a gentle hand and stroking a thumb over her cheek.

"Can't do that," he said.

Rey heard the ripple in the Force in the second before her head began to spin. She looked up at Kylo with rage and horror as darkness hazed in from the edges of her visions. She tried to push back against it, but Kylo twisted harder on the Force and her eyes rolled up in her head. Her knees buckled beneath her and she felt herself falling into oblivion. The last thing that registered in her fading mind was Kylo's arm under her shoulders, lowering her gently to the floor.


	20. Chapter 20: Kylo

Kylo stood over Rey's still form where she lay curled on her side in a deep sleep. He'd seen the betrayal in her face, but he'd also seen her eyes shift colors from their beautiful brown to a sickly yellow. He could forgive himself for using the Force against her if it kept her alive for another day.

Hux lay sprawled on his back, gasping for air through a throat that was purple with bruises. Phasma lay nearby, coughing and gagging.

Kylo unsheathed his saber and ignited the blade, kneeling down next to Hux and leaning close. He heard several blasters being raised and held up a hand to ward off anyone who might be trigger happy. The saber buzzed and spat in his hands and he lowered it until it just touched Hux's cheek. The general flinched back with a red burn starting on his pale skin.

"I warned you once to never speak a word against my apprentice," Kylo murmured. "I swore I would do worse to you than I did then."

Hux's face drained of any color it might have had left.

"But I think Rey has done enough to keep you in line."

Kylo smiled.

"And for the record Hux, if I were you, I would not antagonize her. I might not always be around to keep her in check."

Hux nodded and hauled in a breath, then gave a hacking cough. Phasma rolled onto her hands and knees, saliva trickling out of her mouth.

"That girl should die for what she just did."

"She's confused," he said. "She's tired and she didn't know what she was doing."

"That's no excuse."

"I'm not going to kill her for your wounded pride, Phasma," he said. "If you couldn't tolerate a beating, you wouldn't be Hux's second."

Carefully, he bent and lifted Rey's limp body in his arms. She was light and he could feel the hard edges of bone beneath her clothing and a layer of muscle. Even several months had not been enough time for her to gain the weight to cover them well. He didn't like to think what her life on Jakku must have been like.

Rey's eyes darted under her lids as though searching for danger and she shivered. Her hands came up to her chest, flexed there beneath her chin, and he saw the cuts and scrapes covering them for the first time. There was a burn beginning to blister on her wrist despite the bacta. Her dust covered face held the tracks of her tears. She looked small and fragile when she slept.

He carried her through the halls to her apartment, ignoring the pain in his injured ankle and the strange looks the troopers threw his way. Her rooms were dark and still, but cluttered and friendly feeling. It was a long time since he'd last been inside and it seemed that she'd made herself more at home since. He couldn't help smiling when he saw several tiny sculptures made of the bits and pieces of ships. His apprentice apparently had a penchant for art.

He learned more about her every day.

She didn't stir when he lowered her onto her bed and left the room, closing the door behind him. Only then, when his mind had nothing else to occupy it, did the full reality of the day hit him. His mother was dead. Rey had fallen to the dark, as he had. He'd tried so hard to keep her safe, and it was his fault that she'd turned from the light. He lowered himself onto her sofa and buried his head in his hands, exhaustion and despair finally taking hold. His entire body ached, and his ankle throbbed. The back of his head burned and when he reached to touch the wound his fingers touched dried blood caked thick in his hair. Letting out a low curse, he pulled himself to his feet and went to the refresher for a washcloth. He ran it under hot water and began to scrub at the back of his head, teeth clenched, eyes watering at the pain of it. The cloth came away red in his hands and water trickled down his collar. He didn't care.

His haggard reflection peered back at him from the mirror, eyes ringed with dark circles, more lines than his twenty-five years should have given him etching his face. He gripped the edge of the sink and stared. Ben Solo stared back at him: his mother's eyes in his father's features. How could he ever have thought he could rid himself of their presence. How had he ever wanted to? He'd carried them with him wherever he went, and now they were gone. Everyone was gone. Everyone but Rey. He could not lose Rey too.

His fingers trembled. Danger surrounded them on all sides and they were balanced on a knife edge. When would the final stroke fall? He sighed and rinsed the cloth, holding it to his head again as his attention drifted toward the door to Rey's room. He'd failed her.

He gave up on his head, flinging the cloth into the sink in frustration and limping out to collapse on the sofa again. He had to calm his mind. He had to think. He rested his head against the backrest and closed his eyes, trying to focus.

He must have fallen asleep, because the next thing he knew he was jerking awake to an outraged scream. A muffled curse came from Rey's bedroom, followed by a crash.

"Ren!" howled Rey.

Next moment, she staggered out the door, tripping over her own legs and fighting for balance as her mind gained full control of her body. Kylo braced himself for the onslaught. She blew into the room like a hurricane, the new darkness that surrounded her pulsing and her eyes fierce and yellow. He recognized the presence she carried as the same that flowed around him and his gut clenched.

Rey's hand stretched out and she called her saber, swinging the blade in an arch and brandishing it under his nose. Kylo didn't move.

"Control it, Rey," he said.

Rey showed her teeth in a snarl. Kylo realized that she hadn't even bothered to throw up her usual wall between them. She wanted him to feel ever last bit of the rage eating into her.

"You control it," she spat back, "since you obviously have no problem using the Force to control me. This is the third time you've forced me to sleep."

"I don't expect you to thank me for what I did, but it saved your life."

"I didn't want to be saved. Why didn't you let me kill Hux?"

"I told you why I wouldn't."

"And I told you that I don't care. I don't care if I die. I'm not important. You should have let me- I don't matter."

Kylo shot to his feet, ignoring the stab of pain it sent through him, anger surging.

"I care," he thundered.

Rey's eyes went wide and brown as she startled backwards, saber blade disappearing back into the hilt.

"I care," Kylo repeated, in a softer voice. "And you matter to me."

"Why?" she asked, her tone like steel. "I'm nothing, Ren. Hux is right about me."

She turned her head and pressed her lips together, avoiding his gaze. Sorrow and anger rippled out from her like waves of the sea. He reached up and cradled her face in his hand to stare into the watery depths of her brown eyes.

"He's only half right," he said.

Her tears welled up and she pulled away from him. He caught her and carefully turned her back until she had to look at him.

"Maybe, to the whole galaxy, you mean no more than the sand that covers Jakku," he said. "Maybe you are nothing."

Rey flinched at his words, trying to pull away again.

"But not to me."

The tears she'd been blinking away finally spilled out as her anger transformed into grief. She began to sob. Her body seemed to cave in on itself and her face twisted into an outward reflection of the anguish that washed through her like a flood, threatening to pull her away. She leaned forward, hands balled into fists, until her forehead rested on his chest. He tried to wrap his arms around her, but she pushed him away.

"Rey-"

"Why do you want me?" she asked, voice thick and so full of her pain it tore at him. "What did I ever do to make you want me?"

"Nothing."

"Then why?" she asked. "Why couldn't you have just left me alone?"

It was a good question, but he didn't have its answer. He couldn't explain what had driven him toward her, but neither could he deny how good it felt to be so close to her. She'd held herself at a distance for so long. They'd both been alone for so long. He leaned forward, wrapping her in his arms. Rey didn't pull away again, just leaned into him as if she didn't have the strength to fight anymore.

"I love you, Rey," he whispered.

Rey made a sort of choking noise and began to cry harder, burying her face in his chest and clutching handfuls of his shirt.

He reached out to her with the Force, uncertain in the face of such an outburst. To his surprise, thoughts and emotions rolled over him in waves. Pictures filled his mind: FN-2187 who was called Finn, the fighter pilot Poe, his own mother and father, Luke Skywalker, and the backs of two half-remembered forms leaving a small girl stranded on a desert planet

She had desperately longed to hear those words from any of the people that passed through his thoughts- but not from him. Never from him. Guilt seared him. With his words, he had accomplished what Snoke had failed to do and what he himself had long ago desired.

He had broken her.

The pain of it made his chest ache.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I shouldn't have said that."

Rey shook her head.

"It makes my decision easier," she whispered in her tired voice.

"Your decision?"

He sensed a despair in her that consumed all else, like a black hole in her chest. The pain of her loss and a lifetime of not knowing what it was to be cared for gnawed at her insides, but deeper still there was a spark of something else. He was the one who had said the words she had wanted to hear for so long, and that fact was doing something to her even as he clutched her tight against his chest. Something in her was being decided. Her mind was making itself up.

Rey stepped out of his embrace. Her cheeks were wet and her eyes were still shiny from the tears, but her expression was grim and determined. She was no longer trembling. He could sense her anger, and a growing resolve. She bent and tore off a strip of cloth from her tunic. It lay in her outstretched palm as she offered it to him.

"I would bind myself to you, Kylo Ren. Right now."

Kylo's mouth went dry.

"I never asked-" he started, only to lose his thought and start over. "You don't have to-"

"No," Rey interrupted him, holding up her hand in a gesture for silence. "There is only one path for me. Now is a time to make alliances, and I've spent too long divided."

"You're hurting," Kylo said. "Don't make a decision like this when you're angry and in pain. It won't fix anything."

Rey shook her head.

"There is no other way for me," she said. "I see my footsteps laid before my feet. This is the will of the Force."

Kylo's anger rose in his chest. He had wanted her to agree to bind herself to him for a long time, but not because she felt like she had no choice. He wanted her to come to him of her own free will.

"The dark or the light side, Rey?" he asked. "Which do you hear?"

She turned bloodshot eyes to him and he felt a chill. They looked dead- their gaze empty and detached.

"I don't know anymore," she said.

"Then you will remain my apprentice. Nothing more."

The death in her eyes came alive and turned to anger in the space of a second. She seized his wrist and stared up into his face.

"You need me," she said. "You need an ally on this ship- one to be by your side day and night. We both know Hux is waiting for a chance to kill us. We are stronger if we stand united."

"Rey, be reasonable."

"I am."

"Everything you say tells me this is the last thing you want." he said. "I wouldn't agree to it unless it was something you actually wanted."

"What makes you think it isn't?" she shot back. "Did it ever occur to you that I might feel the same as you do?"

It surprised him enough that he couldn't form a response. His mouth went dry as thoughts of the night on Ahch-To flooded into his mind. He felt again the tingling electricity as her fingers brushed across his and his chest constricted until he couldn't breathe. Rey's eyes seemed to burn holes in him. He collapsed back onto the sofa and ran a hand over his face.

"Don't make this more difficult by lying to me," he said. "Nothing I'm sensing from you tells me you want this."

Rey snorted and folded her arms over her chest.

"Then you're a bigger fool than I took you for, Kylo Ren."

"Perhaps," he conceded.

She stared at him, face grave.

"You've changed."

"As have you," he said.

The heat rising in his chest startled him. He dared a glance up at his apprentice as he recognized it as hers. Rey's face was unreadable, so he turned to her emotions. Under the roiling cold of the dark side, he felt the barest hint of warmth. One of the few things her despair had not been able to snuff out. The wall between them was gone but he still hesitated before he stepped fully into the piece of her mind she was willing to show him. Rey held out her hand to him, inviting him into her thoughts. He took it in his own, engulfing her small fingers with his.

If he'd thought the electricity that flowed through him on Ahch-To was something, it paled in comparison to what he felt now. It was as if he'd wrapped his fingers around a live wire. Rey had thrown open a door between them and a great force seemed to slam into his stomach, the air in his lungs rushing out of him in a single exhalation. The realization struck him that they were a matching set, he and Rey. Two broken beings the Force brought together and knit as one. Opposite and distinct, yet so similar he sometimes couldn't tell where he ended and she began.

He went completely still, staring up at her. She stood coated in dust, shaking, face blotchy and red from her tears. His thoughts were loud and confusing, screaming in his mind. Emotions swirled with them and turned reason into chaos. Two things were clear: he loved her, and they needed each other as they had perhaps never needed another before.

He stood again, taking her hand in his.

"Rey, I-"

Without warning, she stretched up and kissed him, cutting him off. It was a thing of determination and the great wound their sorrow had opened inside them both and something else besides that took away his breath. She tasted of dust and the salt of her tears and he couldn't help but want to lean in closer. Her arms wound around his neck and his fingers were in her hair and it would be so easy- so terribly easy…

A shiver ran through her and she broke from his grip, a great breath shuddering out of her. She was trembling and pale, but her eyes were sharp and sure. Kylo could feel her pulse pounding in time with his. The faintest shadow of a smile touched her lips.

"Do you believe me now?"

"Yes," he croaked, unable to say anything more.

Instead of speaking, he tore a strip of cloth from his own tunic before reaching out and reverently taking the piece of cloth from Rey's hands, knotting them both around her right wrist. Rey did the same for him, then reached out and gripped his hand with white fingers. Her mouth came open to speak, but no sound came out. Kylo felt her fear and her doubt, the way she questioned if he'd meant what he said- if she could trust him to love her. How many had abandoned her before?

An idea struck him- a memory that might help reassure her. It was something he'd learned months ago when he'd accessed information on Rey's home world: a small thing, but something that he remembered because of the irony that such simple beauty had come from a planet like Jakku. In a world such as his beauty was not a thing he often came by, and so he had not forgotten.

"As the bright stars guide the planets in their dance, protecting and nurturing them, so will I for you," he said. "I will shield you from the dangers of this life and cherish you as a precious gift. By the Force, into eternity. You and only you, Rey- my ally, my friend. My love."

Rey stared up at him, mouth falling open.

"Where did you learn that?" she asked.

"Archives," he said with a smile. "You recognize it?"

Rey's eyes filled with tears and she nodded.

"They're part of a marriage vow on my planet," she said.

"I know."

Rey blinked and swiped at her eyes.

"Thank you, Kylo."

"Ben."

"What?"

"My name," he said. "It was my name long ago, and I want it to be again. For you."

Rey's fingers gave his a small squeeze and she locked eyes with him. Her emotions had settled. Nothing about her wavered as the words to the answering vow crossed her lips.

"As the worlds hold to their courses, so I will hold to you," she said. "I will be strength at your side and comfort in trial. By the Force, into eternity. You and only you, Ben- enemy turned friend. My lover."

He carefully untied the cloth he'd torn from his tunic and wound the end around Rey's wrist.

"For when you are afraid, and you doubt me," he said. "Let this remind you of the promise I made."

She would doubt him. Of that much, he was sure. As he had doubted those who loved him and who had wanted only his good, so she would question him. The darkness in her would make it so. His stomach squeezed when he thought of the paths down which the dark side would take her. He wished he could save her from what lay ahead.

Rey fingered the strip of cloth at her wrist and untied the cloth that she'd torn from her clothes, wrapping it around his wrist. He watched her careful fingers. They had only the time the Force had allotted to them, however long or short. What would worry do but taint the precious time they had.

Ben wrapped his arms around her and pressed a kiss into her hair. With some surprise, he realized she'd let the entirety of the wall between them crumble. Carefully, for the first time in years, he took down his own- brick by brick- until she could look into him and see what he had hidden from everyone but himself. It was so strange to stand before her, secrets exposed and thoughts bared for her to read, and it was a comfort to find his flaws reflected in her. They were a matching, broken set: alone in the galaxy, and yet somehow no longer alone. Maybe they could build one another up again.

And it was with that hope that they sought solace in each other's arms.


	21. Chapter 21: Ben

A/N: Hi everyone! Just wanted to say thank you to y'all again- your reviews and continued reading mean more than I could ever say. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Let me know what you think! I'd love to hear your opinions!

* * *

 _Rey's blood covered him. He knelt on the ground, cradling her broken body close to his chest. Her head lolled against him, glassy eyes reflecting a bloody red from the sky above. Her hands were drawn to her chin, like a child's in sleep. Her mouth hung slack and her chest did not rise. He knew she had died long ago, but he couldn't seem to let go of her._

 _"Wake up, Rey," he murmured, "Please wake up."_

 _He pressed a kiss into her hair, tears stinging his eyes._

 _"Come on, Rey. Fight."_

 _She didn't move. How could she? She was dead._

 _He knew it was his fault in the same way he knew he could have stopped it. There was a noise above him and his eyes jerked up to find it. He found himself staring at the impassive white mask of a stormtrooper. The man was a stranger, but the presence in him was not. Ben recognized it at once. The man wasn't what he appeared._

 _The mask fell away with a hiss of rushing air and Ben came face to face with the one behind it._

 _Snoke stood with a smirk on his face and blood smeared hands._

 _"You made a mistake when you betrayed me, boy."_

 _"The only mistake I made was not doing it sooner," Ben spat._

 _"Then, what?" Snoke said, "She would be safe?"_

 _Ben pulled Rey's body closer to him. Snoke had voiced the first thought that had entered his mind._

 _"You can't keep her safe for long, Kylo Ren. She has weakened you."_

 _"She has strengthened me," Ben said. "She stands beside me, not against me."_

 _"Yet it tears you apart to lose her," Snoke said. "It is the consequence of binding yourself to another. Did I not warn you for years against the pain of such attachments?"_

 _Ben curled over Rey, leaning down until his forehead rested against hers._

 _"It was worth it," he whispered. "She was worth it."_

 _Snoke gave a scoffing laugh._

 _"You have too much of your father's heart in you, young Solo."_

 _There was a rushing sound in his ears and Rey's body disappeared. The world melted away around him and he stood in Snoke's throne room. It was exactly how he remembered it- as if the fight there had never taken place._

 _Snoke sat on his throne, blue lightning arching around him. Ben had only seen him like this once before and he had feared for his life._

 _"Just kill me," he shouted. "Get it over with."_

 _"Now why would I do that?" asked Snoke. "I still have use for you."_

 _"Then I'll do it myself," Ben ground out._

 _He reached for the lightsaber at his belt, but the lightning got to him first. Every muscle in his body locked tight and he fell to the ground, convulsing as the current passed through him. It hurt just as much as it always had._

 _When it finally stopped he lay still, unable to move, as Snoke stood over him with a loathsome smile. His Master's mouth came open to say something, but then stopped. The whole world seemed to freeze around them as the noise reached Ben's ears. It was a high, wavering sort of sound that he didn't recognize at first, but it grew more familiar to him the longer it went on. His thoughts flew past as he tried to place the memory. He remembered the night he had taken the company of stormtroopers to Jakku on Snoke's orders. He remembered the screams, but he remembered something else too. There had been a woman- a woman clutching a bundle in her arms that let out the same sort of cry that he heard echoing through the corridors of the Supremacy._

 _He gasped._

 _Snoke realized what it was in the same instant and the slow smile that spread over his face turned Ben's stomach. It reminded him of the bared teeth of a hungry predator._

 _"No," whispered Ben, not sure what he was pleading for._

 _Snoke began to chuckle._

 _"Fate has set things in motion," he said. "We'll meet again soon, Kylo Ren."_

 _Ben fought to get up, but his arms and legs wouldn't obey him._

 _"Stop!" he shouted, words he didn't realize he was saying ringing out around him. "Stop! You can't take him too!"_

He jerked awake to darkness with Snoke's hideous laughter in his ears.

He scarcely had time to remember where he was when Rey let out a bloodcurdling scream. She struggled wildly in her sleep, body shaking with chills, fingers clawing at her skin while tears beaded on her eyelashes. There were red marks on her arms and neck where her nails had carved valleys in her flesh, and the blister on her wrist had opened to ooze blood and a clear fluid. Ben reached across the short distance and grabbed her wrists, restraining them before she could do more damage. Rey gasped, and her eyes snapped open. She flailed about, half awake and still in the throes of her nightmare.

"Easy, Rey," he said, releasing her. "Easy. Calm down, it was only a bad dream."

"I can't get it off," she said, rubbing frantically at her arms, eyes darting about before coming to a stop on his.

Ben's heart squeezed in his chest when he saw her terror. He still remembered the day he'd fallen to the dark side. He'd felt as though something were crawling under his skin. He'd scrubbed it raw trying to get rid of the feeling. He folded Rey into his arms and buried his nose in her hair, inhaling her scent. She was alive. She was warm and breathing, and she was alive. The dream was not true. It couldn't come true. It was a lie, like so many before it.

"Shh…" he whispered, the words meant to calm himself along with her. "It'll stop."

Rey clung to him as if she were drowning and he were her only lifeline, her panicked breaths puffing against his chest. She was shivering.

"I'm so cold."

"I know," he said. "It gets better, I promise."

Rey shuddered.

"I made a mistake, Ben," she whispered. "I made a mistake, and I can't go back."

Ben gave her a sad smile, knowing full well what she said was true. What was he supposed to say? They both knew they were bound for Chaos. They'd both made their choice, and there was no escape. He pulled her closer and pressed a gentle kiss against her cheek, rubbing his thumb over a deep scratch at her jaw.

"Go back to sleep," he said. "Forget for a little while."

Another shiver ran through her and her fingers turned to claws against his back.

"Can't," she whispered. "Dreams."

He kissed her again.

"I'll be right here if they wake you again."

Rey's exhaustion was scrawled plainly across her face, but she clung fast to him and did not close her eyes for a long time. Ben waited until her tense muscles relaxed and her breathing turned deep and even. Only then did he let his own eyelids drift shut. He did not sleep. His dream haunted him, and he lay awake through the long night hours, trying to separate truth from imagination. Or had it all been truth? He didn't dream as Mela did, with her prophetic visions, but more than once reality had mirrored a dream he'd had days or months before.

Rey woke twice more in the night, disoriented and terrified, calling his name as if he were lost to her. She'd just drifted off again after her last episode when his comm went off on the bedside table. Rey startled awake, crying out and bolting upright. Ben groaned, reaching for the device and opening a voice link.

"What?" he barked into the comm.

"Supreme Leader, the general is requesting your presence on the bridge."

"Well, tell him I'm busy," he snapped. "I'm not in the mood to deal with him this morning."

"This is important."

"So is my sleep, and I didn't get much last night."

"That's…uh… not any of my business, I'm sure, sir," said the man at the other end. "I'm only a petty officer, sir. The General is insisting. He says it's about the Resistance."

Ben could tell from the quaver in the voice that the speaker was about as green as they came.

"What about the Resistance?"

"They attacked our fleet in the Jakku system."

Ben closed his eyes.

"How can they attack us when Hux bombed them out of existence yesterday?"

"That's what the General wanted to talk to you about, sir."

Ben let out a low growl.

"I'll be there in a few minutes."

He clicked off the comm and pitched it at the wall with a curse. Rey gasped and jumped at the loud crack the device made as it struck.

"What's going on?" she asked.

"Hux," he said, pulling on his tunic. "I'm sorry, but I've got to go."

"Then I'm coming with you," she said, swinging her legs over the side of the bed.

"No," he said, remembering Hux's face and Phasma's threats. "No, you're staying here. The stunt you pulled yesterday didn't make you any friends."

Rey glared at him. For a moment, he thought he saw a flash of the sickly yellow, but it vanished before he could be sure. Her shoulders slumped.

"Promise you'll be careful?" she asked.

He caught the tremor in her voice and gave her a reassuring smile.

"I'll be fine."

"But what if he tries something? You'll need someone at your back."

Ben shook his head.

"I need you to be safe."

"I don't want to stay cooped up in here," Rey cried, her frustration at last boiling to the surface. "That isn't why I chose to stand by you."

Ben bent to kiss her.

"I know," he said. "It won't be forever, only a day or two."

Rey stared up at him, pleading with her eyes.

"Ben, I'm serious. Swear to me that you'll be careful. Don't provoke him."

He kissed her again, and she kissed him back. He didn't want to go to the bridge. He didn't want to hear about another crisis that Hux was convinced would bring down the First Order. He didn't want to leave Rey alone after her night of terror. He wanted to stay. He wanted to fold her into him and forget, just for a little while, that there was anyone else in the galaxy.

The comm went off again where it lay on the floor. Ben let out a long sigh, picked up the device, and shoved it into a pocket, ignoring the call. As he straightened he felt fingers close on his arm. He looked up to see Rey's eyes locked on him.

"Ben," she said again, "promise me?"

"I'll be careful."

She released him and he slipped out of the bedroom, throwing one last glance over his shoulder. Rey sat alone on the edge of the bed, face twisted with worry, fingers picking nervously at the band of dark cloth around her wrist. The temptation to stay rose in him again but the buzz of the comm in his pocket forced him to push it away. His responsibilities could wait no longer.

The first thing he noticed when he arrived on the bridge was the purple-blue skin that ringed Hux's neck. He worked to keep the impressed smile from his expression. Rey had done a number on the general of the First Order. Hux seemed in an even fouler temper than was his usual, stalking back and forth across the bridge, face fixed in a deep scowl. Ben strode up to him.

"You needed to discuss something with me, General?"

Hux opened his mouth and Ben had to choke back a laugh when nothing louder than a whisper came out.

"Something wrong with your voice, Hux?"

Hux glared daggers at him, then tried again.

"Your wretched apprentice did this," he said, voice still barely audible.

"I thought I told you not to speak of her like that."

"She half killed me!"

"You provoked her."

Hux scowled, arms crossed over his chest. Somewhere in the back of his mind Rey's murmured pleas came back to him. She had begged him to be careful and here he was, not even five minutes after arrival, sparring with his general. Ben rolled his eyes toward the ceiling and rubbed his hands over his face, grimacing at the rough stubble on his cheeks.

"The petty officer that commed said the Resistance attacked out fleet patrolling the Jakku system. Is this true?"

"Our forces sent the report only a standard hour ago, Supreme Leader," Hux said. "They reported they were ambushed by a small fleet of ships bearing the symbol of the Resistance. The TIEs were deployed and managed to keep the cruiser from sustaining anything more than minor damage."

Ben sighed.

"This attack was mounted by the allies of General Organa?"

"That's what our informants tell us. Yesterday we destroyed the leadership, but they had allies across the galaxy- allies that are struggling to rise from the ashes. We must stamp out the embers now."

Ben tried not to show the anguish the man's words brought him. The memory of the smell of his mother's blood struck him in the same moment as the guilt. Her blood was on his hands, why shouldn't the blame for the destruction of the cause she lived for rest on his shoulders as well. What more could he do? What more should he do? Any ties he'd had to the Resistance had been severed.

"Have you found their bases?" he asked.

"Not yet," said Hux, "but we will."

Ben could do no more than nod.

"Do what you must, then," he said, his voice without life.

Hux grinned and Ben felt a deeper loathing for him than ever before. The man was happy only when someone else was about to suffer.

"Hux,"he asked, certain what he was about to say would receive no argument, "when you find them, I intend to fight at the front."

The general's smile seemed to spread a fraction of an inch.

"Certainly, Supreme Leader."

"Rey will be by my side as well."

He thought he saw the smile falter for a moment before Hux nodded.

"As you command."

Something about the way he said the three words sent the hair on the back of Ben's neck to attention. Never had Hux addressed him so. Surely the man was mocking him or, worse, was already plotting a way to get rid of both he and Rey, deflecting attention by feigning obedience. His gut told him it was the latter.

Force, how he hated the mantle of Supreme Leader he'd taken up. Any desire for the title had vanished as if it had never been the moment Rey had reached out and taken his hand in the throne room. It was as though the love he bore for her had pushed away that lesser love **.** It astonished him to think he could have held power in higher regard than all else for so many years- how he could have held his family and old friends in contempt compared to it. Fear and that terrible selfishness had held him in a cage for so long.

He swept the room with his gaze, marking every man and woman at their stations. A thought startled him out of his daze.

"Where's Captain Phasma?" he asked, becoming aware of the absence of the seemingly ever-present officer.

"Inspecting her troops."

"Good. We're going to need them. You'll send me her report?"

"Yes, Supreme Leader."

Ben fought down the sudden anger the title sent lancing through him. It was a battle to keep himself still, but it was one he'd fought and won before. He could not afford to lose control now.

"I trust you'll keep me informed, General?"

Hux pressed his lips together into a thin line, dipping his chin in a deferential nod. Ben seemed to feel the world slide under his feet and suspicion rose like a mist around him. The man was acting entirely unlike himself, and Ben couldn't shake a dark foreboding that crept over him. What if Hux was lying about Phasma? The thought of Rey alone sent a shaft of fear through him. She was vulnerable. Something deep inside him was screaming a warning. He had to get out from under Hux's unrelenting gaze.

"Comm if you have news," he said, turning and leaving the room.

He struggled for control as he made his way toward the apartment, pulling in deep breaths as his fingers played over the hilt of his saber. His nerve broke as soon as he was out of sight of the bridge and he tore through the corridors, shoving past those unlucky enough to get in his way. When he got to the familiar doorway he slapped his hand over the keypad and squeezed through the door as soon as it opened.

"Rey?" he shouted.

There was no reply. Panic sent a shaft of ice through him and he shouldered open her bedroom door. It was dark inside so he didn't see her for a moment, but then movement caught at the corner of his eye. Rey sat in the shadows on the far side of the bed cradling something in her hands, as if it were the most precious thing in the galaxy, staring intently at it. A pyramid.

The holocron.

He watched her in fascination. She was so absorbed in the device that she didn't seem to notice him. Lightning darted between her fingers, flickering as the hologram itself did: sometimes brighter, sometimes fainter. Carefully, she stretched out a hand, one finger extended. Blue lightning branched into the empty air, twisting and coiling like a living creature. A strange smile touched her face, and she crossed her arms at her chest.

Ben saw her intent and stepped forward, hand raised, words already on his tongue to stop her. He was too late. Rey's face contorted in an agony he immediately recognized as the electricity darted up her arms, tongues of blue fire running over her skin. Ben ducked as a bolt of lightning arched over his head, licking the ceiling. A sound like the crack of thunder deafened him in the small space.

The next moment, the room went utterly still. He sat up to see Rey leaning forward, arms pulled close against her chest, making a low pained noise. Her nose dripped blood onto the floor. Ben sighed.

"Rey…"

He eased himself to the floor facing her.

"Show me," he said, reaching out and gently taking her hands.

She flinched and looked up at him in surprise, as though seeing him for the first time. Blood trickled over her lips, staining teeth that were bared in a grimace of pain. Ben began to examine her arms, running his fingers over the blisters twisting around them, tracing them to where they disappeared under her sleeves.

"You shouldn't have tried that," he said. "It takes years to develop the strength. Even I haven't fully mastered it yet."

Rey stared at him, eyes wide and uncertain. Her fingers mimicked his, tracing the scars up his arms.

"You told me you'd cast lightning more times than you could count," she said. "Did Snoke force you?"

Ben didn't answer. She already knew the answer to her question or, if she didn't, she guessed. He took her hands in his again, palm to palm.

"Try to heal yourself. It should come easily- it was almost instinct for me."

Rey closed her eyes. Her head tilted a fraction of an inch, as it usually did when she drew on the Force. He guessed she was listening to that strange music again.

"Focus on the wound," he said. "Feel the disruption it causes and work from there."

A look of concentration overtook the one of pain on Rey's face. Slowly, the blisters began to disappear and new pink tissue grew over the wounds, drawing shiny new scars in a web-like pattern. Even some of the old injuries: the scratches she'd given herself in her terror, the burns from the _Silencer_ , and any number of cuts and bruises from the caves began to mend. Rey opened her eyes and held her arms up before her, studying them with wonder in her expression.

"It worked?"

Ben managed a small smile at her incredulity.

"What were you expecting?"

"I don't know," she said, turning her arms over to look at the undersides.

"They'll scar, but it shouldn't be too bad."

"Well, I'll just add them to my collection," she said as she swiped a sleeve under her nose to clear the blood.

He had to admire the way she brushed it off. The first time he'd tried to cast lightning, the pain had scared him so badly that he slept fitfully for several days, knowing it would be asked of him again. He blinked away the memory. Rey was watching him, eyes clear and brown, holding only her quiet curiosity and compassion. If he hadn't seen her fury, he never would have suspected her of wielding the Dark side. Maybe that would play to her advantage in the war in which they were about to become entangled.

He let out a long sigh, wishing that they could have even a day of peace.

"Rey," he said, "we need to talk."


	22. Chapter 22: Rey

Rey sat alone on the bed, staring after Ben as he disappeared out the door. Her chest ached with the desire to go after him. With her worry, the nightmares returned: nightmares of losing him, of being lost alone in the darkness. She half remembered waking up screaming, calling his name in her panic. But he had always been there to draw her closer and whisper words to comfort her. Strange how she had grown to rely on him. She thought Jakku had broken her of it- made her so fiercely independent that she could never trust another to be there when she needed them.

But, somehow, Ben Solo had changed that. It surprised her how much the thought of losing him terrified her. It would be like losing half of herself, especially now. She drew her knees to her chest, resting her chin on top of them. She'd made him promise to stay safe, now she had to trust him to keep his word. If she didn't know his temper, she might not be as worried as she was.

She scratched absently at her arms, wincing a bit when her nails caught in one of the scratches covering her. She needed a distraction. An unexpected thought of the holocron invaded her mind, almost seeming to call to her. She needed to learn how to harness the new power crawling beneath her skin. What better way to do so?

Rey dressed quickly, then stretched out a hand, calling for her saber. It came to her as it always did, but when she closed her fingers around it, she realized something strange. No longer did it feel familiar to her. Something she couldn't name was different- something fundamentally wrong. She clipped the weapon onto her belt anyway. She could figure it out later.

Peering out the door, she made sure the hallway was empty before darting into Ben's apartment. The holocron beckoned her deeper into the darkness and silence of the rooms beyond the door, pulling at fibers deep in her being. She strode straight for the chest at the foot of Ben's bed. Her hand was almost touching the holocron before she realized that she didn't feel sick. Instead of the awful pressure in her ears, she caught a strange and beautiful music she'd never heard before. It twined with her own, drawing her down into something dark and enticing. For a second, she had a distinct impression that she was traveling a path on which she was not meant to be. She pushed the thought away and scooped up the little pyramid, cupping it in hands that did not tremble.

When she returned to her room, she perched on the side of her bed to stare down at the holocron. The inscriptions on the pyramid gave her pause, but only long enough to trace them with her fingers, as she had done the first time she'd used the device. It was more instinct than conscious thought when she activated the hologram. The red, insubstantial figure of Darth Bane flickered to life, arms crossed, still in that strange spiked armor he wore. A smile that Rey thought looked more like a grimace spread over his face.

"Well, well," he said. "The lightsider has chosen the path to strength."

Rey kept silent, letting her anger at the taunt boil just under the surface. Her fingers clenched a little tighter around the machine. It was the only outward sign she allowed herself.

The hologram chuckled.

"What would you ask of me, little darksider?"

The question came to her without thought after days of fear.

"How do I protect myself?" she said. "And Ben?"

"Any number of ways. You have a saber, don't you?"

"Yes," she started, "but it doesn't feel right anymore."

"You've outgrown it," the hologram replied. "It isn't a reflection of who you have chosen to be, and so you must leave it behind."

"But then I won't have a weapon."

The hologram's expression went stern.

"If you rely on a saber alone to defend yourself, you're no true Force wielder."

The cold anger constricted her chest, making it hard to breathe.

"Were you programmed to be insulting, or was it a design flaw?" she asked.

"That is an irrelevant question."

"Then, pray tell, what is a relevant question."

"Whether or not you fight only with a saber, or if you are capable of using the dark side to your advantage."

"I am capable," she said, remembering the intoxicating music that had taken control of her in her fury the day before.

"And yet you are still weak, or you would not be here. You are proud. It will be your downfall if you let it consume you instead of temper your resolve. Don't let it blind you to your failures. Only when you recognize them for what they are will you become stronger."

"Then help me learn to be strong."

The hologram let out a dark chuckle.

"Your ambition reminds me of another."

"Ben?"

"Snoke."

Something inside Rey drew tight at the mention of that name.

"I am not Snoke."

"Perhaps not, but you have his hunger for power."

"Only to protect what is mine."

"And why do you think Snoke desired power?"

"I am no tyrant," Rey spat.

"Not yet."

She flinched, setting her jaw and letting out a long breath through her nose. She was done playing games with the hologram.

"Teach me how to cast lightning."

"Very well, m'lady," said the hologram, with a half bow.

Rey waited in silence as the image of Darth Bane flickered and jumped, accessing information deep in the internal mechanisms. At last, the hologram cleared.

"Are you ready to begin?"

Rey felt her pulse jump, beating hard in her throat. She nodded.

"Then open yourself to the dark side."

Rey closed her eyes, reaching deep for the low music inside her to bring it into the open. It hummed and crackled, begging her to stretch out and use its power. She waited, skin tingling with the new energy that flowed through her.

"Do you feel the air around you?" asked the hologram.

The voice seemed to come from somewhere far away. Rey took a breath.

"I feel it."

"The charged particles that flow on its currents?"

"Yes."

"Then use them."

Rey didn't realize that anything was happening until she glanced down at her hands. Sparks danced between her fingers, coalescing into tendrils of blue electricity. She watched the flickering lights dart around her hands, fascinated by their always changing patterns. Carefully, she extended a finger and sent a branching bolt of lightning out into the air. It writhed there for several seconds before disappearing into nothingness. She grinned, the low music sending a strange, exhilarating emotion coursing through her veins. Temptation to try again, but to try a step further took her. She crossed her arms in front of her chest, as she remembered Ben doing, and seized onto the music weaving around her.

The pain was instantaneous.

Every muscle locked as the current passed through them. Her skin burned, blue lightning running over its surface, sometimes passing right through. A pulsing ache began in her temples, working across her forehead and starting to squeeze. She sensed the music slipping from her grasp, returning to its own melody, no longer in her control. A great bolt lashed out from her palm, licking the ceiling.

With a crack like thunder, the melody tore itself free from hers, leaving her body weak and trembling. She slumped forward, pulling her arms in close to her chest and letting out a low moan as the beginnings of a searing pain started in her fingertips and ran up and across her shoulders. Something warm was running over her lips but it wasn't until the first red drops spattered on the floor that she realized that her nose was bleeding.

"Show me."

The two words startled her almost as much as the hands that reached out and gently took hers. Her gaze jerked up to meet Ben's and it was a surprise to read the soft concern in the brown eyes she grew to love more daily. His fingers began to run up her arms, seeking out the blisters.

"You shouldn't have tried that. It takes years to develop the strength. Even I haven't fully mastered it yet."

She might have been angry at his reproach if she hadn't recognized it as truth. The ache behind her eyes and the pain in her body told her she'd reached the limits of her abilities and then taken a step past. Her attention drifted down to his arms and the coiling white scars. She reached out and began to trace them, his words about Snoke coming back to her.

"You told me you'd cast lightning more times than you could count," she said. "Did Snoke force you?"

He didn't answer, but she felt the way the muscles beneath her fingers went tense and she saw his jaw clench. Frantic images of blue flashes and a child's high scream came to her as in a memory. She knew the answer to that question and she would not ask it again.

Before she could apologize, he slid his hands under hers, letting them rest palm to palm.

"Try to heal yourself," he said. "It should come easily- it was almost instinct for me."

The command came as a surprise. She'd seen him do it, but she hadn't expected him to instruct her to try. If she couldn't control force lightning, what made him think she had the ability to perform something as precise as healing herself. She closed her eyes anyway, tuning to her own melody, drawing the Force around her. Ben's voice was calm and quiet, guiding her in the darkness behind her eyelids.

"Focus on the wound," he said. "Feel the disruption it causes and work from there."

Rey heard the dissonance within her, the notes that were a few keys off from where they should have been. She reached out, twisting them back to their original places and listening hard to the results. Her fingers twitched as she fixed several more distorted strings of notes. When there was nothing else that sounded strange to her ears, she cracked an eye, pulling her hands from Ben's and holding her arms up to examine them. She gasped.

"It worked?"

The smile on Ben's face made her heart skip.

"What were you expecting?"

"I don't know," she said, turning her arms over to look at the undersides, still not believing what she was seeing.

"They'll scar, but it shouldn't be too bad."

"Well, I'll just add them to my collection."

The blood running from her nose began to be an annoyance now that the pain was gone and she swiped at it with her sleeve. It came away stringy and half clotted. Ben watched her with the expression he always wore when he wanted to tell her something but was having difficulty putting his thoughts to words. His face was drawn, seeming even more careworn than usual. She wanted to comfort him, to kiss him until he forgot the weight of the galaxy that he always seemed to take up as his own personal burden.

A long sigh left him and his hand took hers. She got the feeling it was a visceral reaction.

"Rey," he said, "we need to talk."

"Okay," she said. "What about?"

"The Resistance."

Rey felt her face twist as the familiar stab of pain sliced into her.

"What about them? They're dead."

"Not their allies," he said. "One of our cruisers was targeted today. A few casualties on both sides, from the report, and no extensive damage to the ship, but the rest of the fleet jumped before our pilots could get them in their sights."

Rey knew where the conversation was going.

"So we're going to hunt them down."

"Sounds like it. We haven't pinned down their locations, but our sources tell us there are more than one. I volunteered to be in the front lines when we go on the offensive."

Rey's felt her heart pause in its rhythm. An awful dread clutched at her.

"What?" she asked.

"It's a good way to make allies among the troopers. Besides, they'll need a Force user."

"But you'll be alone," she gasped. "What if Hux tries something? Orders someone to shoot you in the back or-?"

"I won't be alone," he interrupted, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. "You'll be with me."

Rey was about to rattle off a list of all the reasons he shouldn't go when his words sank in.

"I'll be with you?"

"That was my condition. Hux accepted."

"But I don't have a weapon."

"What about your saber?"

Rey shrugged, uncertain.

"It doesn't feel… well, it doesn't feel right anymore."

Ben nodded.

"Neither did mine when I turned. It isn't a part of you anymore- not like it was. You were even more likely to grow distant from yours because you didn't make it. You didn't meditate on the crystal inside or develop a bond with it."

"A bond?"

"A part of you goes into it, so it becomes an extension of yourself. Makes it that much easier to wield."

Rey spared a quick glance for the saber hilt at Ben's waist. She remembered its violent red light and the way it flickered and spat as they'd battled against one another in the cold wastes of Starkiller base and together in Snoke's throne room. He caught her looking and gave a wry smile.

"My anger," he said, pulling the weapon from his belt and bouncing it in his palm. "I poured all of my pain and rage into this one. All the loneliness and fear stored up over months and years."

He returned the saber to his belt.

"That explains a lot," Rey murmured.

"So it does," he said, with a chuckle.

"But I still don't have a weapon."

"You'll have to make a new one," he said. "We'll probably have a few days before Hux finds the Resistance. It might be enough time."

"Ben, I don't know the first thing about making a saber."

He picked up the holocron and placed it in her hands.

"This will have plans and schematics for just about anything you want. You'll have me to help you too."

"Now?" she asked.

"Neither of us has anything better to do," he said, shrugging.

Rey hesitated a moment before she activated the device, staring through the red light to Ben's face. He reached out and cupped her trembling hands with his, willing strength into her.

"Back so soon?" quipped the hologram.

Rey didn't deign to give it an answer. She waited until the slightly mechanical laugh died before she began.

"I need schematics on lightsabers. How to construct them and the instructions to do so. Show me."

The hologram flickered for a moment before several sets of detailed plans appeared above the holocron. Rey studied them for several long minutes, scrutinizing the strengths and weaknesses of each. Her attention caught on a schematic that displayed an image of a double-bladed lightsaber. Something about it tugged at her.

"What's that one?" she asked. "The one with two blades."

"The saberstaff?" Ben asked.

The holocron responded, bringing up a larger image of the schematic. Rey studied it with the beginnings of a smile playing over her face.

"That's the one," she said. "That's the one I'm going to build."

Ben grinned back at her, a feverish excitement radiating from him through the Force.

"Then it's time I took you to meet my knights."

* * *

A/N: Hi all! Hope you enjoyed the chapter. Let me know what you think- I always love to hear your thoughts and opinions. Depending on how much I get written over the next week or so, I may have to go on a brief hiatus again while I write a few chapters ahead. No promises though because it's HAY SEASON...which means a lot of time on a tractor hauling a hay rake and not so much time for writing. I'll do my best, and fingers crossed I'll be posting on time next week.


	23. Chapter 23: Rey

A/N: Weeeellll...*sheepish grin* I didn't end up posting on time. Sorry about the unplanned hiatus. First it was hay, then work, then a series of extremely nasty writers' blocks (we're talking Stonehenge here folks). But here we are and, goodness, does it feel good to be back! Shout out to all of you lovely people out there who have stuck with this story, favorited and followed, and reviewed even while I was MIA. I can't tell you how exciting and motivating it is to hear people's opinions!

I have about ten chapters that I've written over the last six months (my word, it really has been that long) with more in the works. That being said, I'm probably going to transition to a bi-weekly update of this story, depending on how the writing is going. I've hit a couple of slow places over the last few weeks and I don't want it to happen again and accidentally write myself into a corner.

I want to thank you all again for your patience with me and also wanted to give a HUGE shout out to my beta Leona2016 who has been the absolute BEST! (You rock!) Also a big thank you to FenrisInside who continues to be an awesome idea generator/suggester! Thanks so much to the both of you!

Well, anyway, I hope you all enjoy this chapter and I hope it's worth the wait:)

* * *

Rey tried to suppress the anxiety churning in her stomach as she watched the silvery streaks of hyperspace through the viewport.

"You're sure about this?" she asked.

"Absolutely. We have a store of crystals you can choose from for your saber. Besides, if I don't bring you to meet them soon Mela will hunt me down."

Rey tried to smile but faltered when something beeped on the control panel. Her mind instantly started to replay the layout of the entire ship in her head. She'd scoured it from wingtip to wingtip before they left and had found nothing out of the ordinary. Surely it couldn't be another mechanical failure.

 _Relax, Rey,_ said Ben's voice in her mind. _It's just a hologram._

Rey watched over his shoulder as the image of a man flickered and jumped. She could tell he was tall, even from the low-quality image, and she saw at a glance that he would be a formidable match in battle, perhaps even for Ben.

"We got your message that you're on your way. Mela's so excited that she's already down in the hangar bay."

Ben chuckled.

"Sounds about right."

"Decha and Taryn are here too. Just brought in supplies and parts for the ships," he said. "But you know Taryn. He's under a ship right now trying to figure out the bugs in the cloaking device, according to Mela."

"Did he find anything?"

"'Course he found something. Doesn't he always?" the man laughed. "Apparently it was a crossed wire this time. He's complaining that it's not enough of a challenge and driving Mela up the wall."

"If he keeps this up, I'll find him a project that will keep him so busy he won't have time to complain," Ben muttered.

Rey smiled her first real smile of the day. Her apprehension began to fade.

"We should be arriving within the next quarter hour," Ben said, speaking loud enough for the comm to register his voice again. "Everything clear for docking?"

"Yeah. Hangar bay is open and waiting for you to get here."

"Sounds good. We'll see you in a few minutes."

The hologram nodded, then flickered off with a flash of blue light.

The rest of the flight was silent, but Rey's mind was not. Her thoughts drifted from crystals to Knights of Ren to sabers and back again, trying to imagine what would happen in the coming hours. Decha had seemed friendly enough, but how would the other Knights react to her presence? She glanced down to her fingers picking nervously at the strip of dark cloth knotted around her wrist. What would they do when they found out?

 _Don't worry about it,_ Ben spoke in her mind. _We won't have to hide here._

Rey chewed the inside of her lip and didn't respond. The anxiety was back in full force, but before she could voice her hesitation, the ship lurched out of hyperspace. Before them, a huge transport ship floated through space, high above an unknown planet. Rey saw the green and blue of a fertile world and wondered briefly what it might be like on the surface. Her musings were cut short as Ben navigated through the open hangar bay and landed.

Rey took a deep breath before Ben opened the hatch, then followed him out through the roof of the TIE. She had just dropped to the ground beside him when she was seized from behind in a fierce hug. She squawked and instinctively reached for the saber at her belt. Ben's voice in her head stopped her a second before she ignited it and struck out at the person behind her.

 _Easy, Rey,_ he said. _Mela's not an enemy._

Her fingers left the saber hilt, slipping to her side. The arms around her shoulders did not release her and the unseen figure kissed her hard on the cheek.

"Kylo Ren, you've brought me a sister at last," came an excited voice in her ear.

Ben chuckled.

"Yes, but she doesn't like to be surprised from behind. You were several seconds away from losing an arm."

Mela immediately released her and Rey whirled to face the woman, muscles tensed and ready to spring backwards out of arm's reach.

"She's about as bad as you, isn't she Kylo?"

"Well, the _Finalizer_ isn't a place where you can let down your guard. We're both on edge."

Mela's shrewd gaze seemed to bore a hole into Rey and she took a step backward, edging toward Ben.

"I see," Mela said in a voice that suggested she knew more than she let on.

She took a step toward Rey, extending her hands in a way that reminded Rey of someone trying to coax a frightened animal out of a hiding place. Her pride stung a little, but not enough for her to respond. Mela took a step and then another, reaching down and taking Rey's hand in her own. Rey thought about flinching back, but held herself still. Mela smiled, unwavering blue eyes holding hers. They seemed to go on forever.

"It's good to meet you at last, Rey."

Her words seemed to break through the anxiety that had frozen Rey to her core, freeing her from a crystalline prison through which she could see the world, but not touch. She tried a tentative smile.

"It's good to meet you as well."

Mela grinned.

"She speaks!"

The jibe might have stung if it hadn't been said with such a genuine expression of joy. Rey felt herself warming to the girl. Mela took her arm and drew her aside.

"Kylo didn't tell me anything about you," she said, "so we two are going to have to remedy that."

Rey glanced back to Ben, who nodded.

"I've got to go talk to Cy and the others anyway. Don't let me keep you."

Mela bounced excitedly and looped her arm through Rey's, leading her out through a door and into a long corridor.

"You'll have to tell me everything about yourself," she said. "Kylo barely let slip your name and that you were our age. He's been so tight-lipped about you."

"I'm just his apprentice."

Mela made a sound somewhere between a snort and a laugh.

"That's bantha fodder and we both know it, so don't insult me by lying. I know my brother, and I'm quickly learning to know you. There's something between you stronger than the bond of apprentice and master. I can see that at a glance."

Rey felt herself flush red to the ears, but didn't reply.

"I want to know who you are and where you came from," Mela amended, shifting the subject away from the one Rey didn't want to discuss.

"I come from Jakku," Rey said, "and I'm nobody, really. I just happened to get caught up in all…this."

She waved a hand vaguely in the air. Mela gave her a hard look.

"You make it sound like an accident."

"It was!" Rey laughed, shaking her head.

Mela crossed her arms.

"There are no accidents, Rey. Not where the Force is concerned."

"But I came across the droid that started it all by complete chance. If I hadn't, I would still be out in the middle of the desert, scavenging for parts."

"Was it truly by chance?" Mela asked softly.

Rey thought back to the day she'd met BB-8. She'd been sitting outside the AT-AT walker she'd made her home with the old Rebellion pilot helmet blocking out all noise but her thoughts, thinking about going inside to escape the last vestiges of the day's heat. Something had grabbed her attention as she sat there in the stillness. Now that she thought, she could remember a strange music, on the very edge of her hearing that had driven her up and over the walker and running out across the desert to find its source. She never had, but she'd stumbled across BB-8 in the net of a Teedo.

"No," she whispered. "No, it wasn't."

"No," Mela agreed. "So as I say, nothing is an accident."

"How do you know?" Rey asked her.

"Because nothing that I have seen has proven to me otherwise," Mela smiled. "You, certainly, are not here by accident. I have not come to be here by accident. It is all choice, and the guidance given us through the Force. It is a gift to lead us through paths that are simply the branches of a greater plan. All will happen as it is meant to happen."

Rey smiled.

"You speak like the old Anchorites on Jakku, who claimed they could see the future."

Mela raised an eyebrow and gave her a mischievous smile.

"Didn't Kylo tell you?" she asked. "I can."

Rey stared at her.

"You can see the future?" she asked. "You're a far-seer?"

"On my good days," Mela said. "It's not always clear. Sometimes it's just a feeling, or a dream I don't understand until it appears in a different shape in reality."

"But you _can_ see the future."

"We all can and do. I've just refined my ability."

Rey blinked.

"I can look into the future?"

"Perhaps. You may see glimpses. Usually, it's something the Force decides. Even I can't just peer through time whenever I want to. Besides, it's tricky. Sometimes something won't happen if a choice is made differently, or a dream won't come true at all unless the seer acts upon it. The latter is what brought about Vader's rise, if the stories are to be believed."

Rey sucked in a breath, the name of Ben's grandfather sending a cold thrill through her. The man had held power in his hand, a power for which she had yearned ever since the aching hunger opened inside her when she surrendered to the dark side. What she would give-had given- for power.

"Careful, Rey," Mela said in a low voice of warning. "With that line of thinking, the dark side will take everything from you."

Rey gaped at her.

"You can read my thoughts?"

"No, but I can sense your hunger for power. I would warn you that the dark side will take all you have to give and then more, never satisfying you with the little it gives in return."

"There is no other way, now."

Mela held her gaze for a long minute.

"So I wasn't wrong when I felt you fall to darkness, then," she muttered, seemingly to herself. "I had hoped-"

She didn't sound angry, or disappointed, or even sad. The words came out flat, as if she had resigned herself to them. Rey's face flushed with shame.

"I was so tired of fighting," she explained. "I just gave in."

Mela let out a long sigh.

"I wish I could say that I fought," she said, running fingers through long blonde hair.

"Didn't you?"

Mela laughed.

"If I had fought, I wouldn't be breathing today."

"The night Luke's school was destroyed?"

Mela nodded.

"By then Snoke had Kylo so bound up in fear he hardly recognized us. Luke's betrayal destroyed any trust in us he might have held onto. It took us years to gain it back."

"Ben would have killed you?"

Mela's head jerked around.

"What did you call him?"

"Ben?" Rey asked, hesitant.

"He lets you call him Ben?" Mela asked, incredulous. "He hasn't let anyone call him that since we left Luke's school in ashes."

Rey shrugged.

"He asked me to."

Mela laughed in amazement and shook her head.

"You amaze me, Rey of Jakku," she said.

Rey fingered the bracelet of cloth.

"I'm not anything special," she said.

"Neither am I," smiled Mela. "Yet, here we are."

Rey kept silent and twisted her bracelet until it pinched her wrist. Mela's eyes tracked the movement and went suddenly wide. She seized Rey's hand, examining the fabric through narrowed eyes.

"What is that?"

Rey felt a stronger urge to lie than any she could remember.

"It's just something that we do on Jakku when we promise someone something," she hedged.

The half-truth came out more easily than she'd anticipated, and she was surprised that the words didn't taste foul in her mouth. Mela didn't seem satisfied.

"Like marriage vows, for instance?" she asked, voice hard.

Rey glanced at her from the corner of her eye.

"How did you-"

"You're not nearly as good at veiling the truth as you think you are," Mela said. "What in Chaos possessed you to bind yourself to him?"

"There was no other way for me to go," she said. "In this, at least, I sensed the will of the Force, as I never did before."

As Rey spoke, Mela's face went pale and her lips clenched together as her eyes took on a faraway look. Rey wrenched her hand from the fingers tightening their grip on her own and stepped back and away, fearful again of this strange woman with her strange gift.

"That son of a bantha," Mela whispered, more to herself than to Rey. "I warned him years ago-"

She started to pace back and forth across the hallway, clearly agitated. Rey felt confusion and anger clouding her thoughts.

"What?"

Mela pulled her forward and shoved her through a door.

"Wait here for me to come back," she said. "I need to talk with my brother. You would only complicate things."

"Wait a minute!" shouted Rey, making for the door. "I'm not just going to stay here."

Mela's face twisted into something like pain.

"Please, Rey. I'll explain everything later, but this is important."

"What is so important about a bracelet?" Rey asked, anger roiling as she struggled to maintain control. "And why can't you tell me now?"

"Because it isn't your responsibility. I don't know how much Kylo has told you about what we do here, but if he's as close-mouthed as he usually is, it isn't enough for me to start talking."

"At least tell me what my bracelet has to do with any of this."

Mela's face went a shade grayer.

"This is one of those times I was talking about when a dream only makes sense in light of reality," Mela said. "And I had a bad one last night."

Rey felt a freezing cold sweep over her and she took a step back.

"Just stay here?" she asked.

"I'll be back as soon as I can," Mela said. "I'm sorry about this."

With that the door shut and Rey heard a lonely pair of feet hurrying away. Silence settled over her, leaving her feeling cut off from the rest of the world. She turned about to look, for the first time, at the room in which she had been charged to remain. To her surprise, she found herself in another training room. Weapons were stacked neatly along the walls with several dozen metallic orbs Rey guessed were a sort of droid. She saw rods made of wood and metal, hilts of practice sabers, and an odd machine sitting in one corner that appeared to be a flight simulator.

"What is this place?" she asked the emptiness.

When no reply came, she sighed and sat down against the wall closest to the door to wait. She couldn't help the irritation that crept in. As the silence continued on, the irritation gave way to frustration, then anger in its own turn. She wasn't even thinking when she reached out with the pent-up rage and wrenched the Force around her, it was instinct.

In the time it took for her to blink, she found herself looking at Ben's back as he stood tall above her. She recognized the music of the bond between them and the low lilting melody it always took on when they traveled across space to come near to one another. And yet, it was all different. For the first time, she could make out his surroundings, like a veil before her eyes that almost eclipsed her view of the room around her. Over his shoulder, she could see Mela pacing the floor, and Decha with his arms crossed by the door. There was a strange man in a grease stained tunic, his short brown-blond hair spiked with grime. Another man that Rey recognized from the hologram stood apart from them all, watching the proceedings from a corner. None of them seemed to notice her.

"It didn't alarm me at first- I thought it was just the bond between a master and apprentice, beginning to grow together as companions- but when I saw the bands, it brought back my dream and I started paying closer attention," Mela was saying. "Kylo, there's something wrong with your bond with her. It's like nothing I've ever sensed before. It's almost like a living thing itself- and it's growing stronger."

"I know," Ben said, running his fingers through his hair.

"Then how do you explain it? Surely it isn't natural- not something that runs this deep," Mela's eyes were wild. "You don't think it's what that old prophecy speaks of, do you? The one that cult believed in?"

"The prophecy of the Sith Eternal?" Ben asked incredulously. "No. Put your mind at ease about that, at least, little sister. Snoke was the one that bridged the space between our minds to form the bond. He claimed he did it to trap Rey- to draw her in."

"Snoke?" Mela asked, face going an even paler shade of gray.

"Why do I get the feeling you're about to tell me something I don't want to hear," Ben asked.

"Because I am," she said. "I saw Snoke in my dream last night. Clear as day. Snoke, and those bands you and Rey are wearing around your wrists."

Rey saw Ben's fingers twitch at his sides. His agitation began to take on a few shrill notes, echoing her own.

"I can tell by your face that you're not telling me everything. What else did you see?"

Mela's expression was tense.

"Kylo, there was a child. Snoke is looking for a child."

Ben flinched.

"You're sure?"

"I am. And you're an idiot for coming. If he finds them-" her anger broke and she continued in a softer voice. "If Snoke was the one to bridge your minds, he can trace you here."

"He can't do that, can he?"

"Just how strong do you think your bond with Rey is?"

"I don't know. It's second nature for me, Mela. I can't be objective about it."

"I felt your connection through the Force across millions of clicks the day Snoke bonded you. I didn't know what it was then, but the second you both climbed out of your TIE, I knew."

The man standing in the corner nodded.

"Kylo, if I can sense it, then I can guarantee you Snoke can. You'll both have to cloak yourselves if you stay for any length of time."

Ben rubbed a hand over his face and Rey heard Mela let out a long sigh.

"What were you thinking?" she asked. "I warned you against binding yourself to another when we were children."

"Dreams lie."

"Dreams do, but the Force does not. Kylo, I warned you that a bond would be your death."

"And it was. Ben Solo died when I was bonded in apprenticeship to Snoke."

"Then Ben Solo is stirring in his grave. I see glimpses of the boy I remember even now. She is good for you, Kylo, but I am afraid that she will also be your doom."

"It's Snoke I'm worried about, not Rey."

"But what if the dreams are connected?" Mela pleaded, gesturing to his wrist. "What if this is the bond?"

"The Force might not lie, but it doesn't always reveal reality as it is. You are always the one quick to remind us that we cannot see all ends."

"I'm still worried," Mela sighed.

"As we all should be," said Ben. "Snoke is not an enemy to underestimate."

Rey saw the tense line of his shoulders. His apprehension was a low and terrible music in her ears that set her on edge. She stood and went to his side, sliding an arm around his waist. A strength in trial. She felt the pressure of the band at her wrist as she remembered her promise. At her touch, Ben started, then relaxed as he recognized her presence.

"What was that?" Mela asked, head whipping toward them as her eyes narrowed to slits. "Rey?"

Ben shifted his position and Rey stepped out from behind him.

"I'm here. Have been almost from the beginning, I think."

"You need to leave. The longer you stay in the bond, the easier it will be to find you both."

Ben turned to her and nodded.

"Go ahead. I'll come find you in a few minutes."

Rey hesitated, anxiety and a desire to hear more keeping her in the bond. Ben took her hand and squeezed, sending a jolt through her.

"Go, Rey. There's more riding on this than you know."

"Then tell me so I don't do something wrong again," she said, her annoyance with the secrets that surrounded them giving her voice an edge.

She pressed a kiss against his cheek in farewell, then stepped away from him, letting go of the Force as she did. The veil before her eyes vanished to be replaced by the darkness of the training room. She sat, back to the wall, rolling everything she'd heard through her mind. Part of her wanted to cry and another part wanted to scream in frustration. Even with Ben- even in her own mind- Snoke still stalked them. Their bond, something they could neither understand nor fully control, might be Ben's undoing. She buried her head in her hands and tried to stop thinking.

But her thoughts would not be silent. They were loud with the questions that swirled through her mind. What had Mela meant by Snoke looking for a child? Why would he need one? She was on the verge of getting up and going to find Ben and his knights to start asking questions when a door at the other end of the training room opened. To her surprise the boy she remembered from Abafar stepped through.

"Parvan? What are you doing here?"

"Master Decha brought supplies and I got to come along. My sister's here."

"Your sister?"

Another head peered around the doorway, long dark curls cascading over her shoulders. Behind her, several more children stepped from beyond the doorframe. Rey felt their eyes on her, studying her. She could not look away. Children. _If he finds them-._ Mela's words began to make sense.

"Who are you?" asked a little Togruta boy.

"That's Rey," exclaimed Parvan before Rey could open her mouth. "She's Master Kylo's apprentice. Decha told me so."

"Really?" asked a Twi'lek girl a few years younger than Parvan.

"He's scary," came another voice.

"Is not," said Parvan, arms crossed over his chest. "He's the one who brought me and Hala here."

"Are you really Master Kylo's apprentice?" the Togruta asked her, taking a shy step forward.

"Yes I am," she said.

"Are you afraid of him?"

"No."

The boy gave her a tentative smile and took another step forward. He bowed.

"My name's Sati," he said politely. "Why did you come here?"

"I came with Master Kylo," she explained, her own mind crowded with questions and with the new faces and voices. "I have to make a lightsaber and I need to pick out crystals."

Parvan grinned.

"We can help you!" he exclaimed, his excitement clear to be seen from the way he bounced on his toes to the enormous smile splitting his face.

"What?"

"I know where Master Cy keeps the crystals."

There was a chorus of agreements from the other children.

"Master Cy says we get to pick ours out in a few years," said Parvan. "But this'll be almost as good."

Before she could object, several small hands had clamped around hers and were tugging her to her feet.

"Come on!" said Parvan, jumping about like one of the crickets Rey remembered trying to catch as a child in the sands of Jakku.

They guided her through the corridors, deep into the interior of the ship, pulling her along if she slowed to look around her. She caught fleeting glimpses of training rooms like the one in which she'd waited, something that looked like a mess hall, and a room with strange bluish lights shining over plants as green as any she'd seen on Takodana. The children didn't even glance at them. They only stopped when they'd reached the last door in a narrow hallway that branched from the main thoroughfares.

"This is it," Parvan said, almost dancing in his anticipation.

Rey edged the door open with the Force and stepped over the threshold. None of the children crossed behind her, instead peering through the doorway. Rey stood uncertain. It seemed wrong, somehow, to be here without Ben.

"Aren't you coming?" she called back to them.

Sati shook his head.

"Master Cy said if he caught any of us in there before the Gathering, he'd feed us to a sarlacc."

Rey covered her smile with a grimace, her dark mood fading a little.

"And you sent me in?" she teased.

"Master Kylo wouldn't let Master Cy feed you to anything, especially not a sarlacc."

Rey grinned and fingered her bracelet. So, they were intuitive as well as curious. It was a dangerous combination. The smile disappeared, and her stomach twisted when she remembered the pain of Snoke's torture and imagined him doing the same to the little ones around her if he ever found them. She didn't want any part of that.

"Well, aren't you going to pick?" asked one of the Twi'lek children.

The voice broke her out of the dark thoughts and brought her back to reality. Her attention shifted to her surroundings and an involuntary gasp left her. There were crystals everywhere, stacked in piles against walls and lining shelves higher than her head. All were translucent, but the light refracted through them so that they bathed the room in a rainbow of pale and ghostly colors.

"How do I know which ones to choose?" she asked.

"They sing to you," the little girl called Hala said. "Can't you hear them?"

Rey strained her ears. She could hear quiet music from the hundreds of crystals, but nothing that sang to her or drew her to them, other than their beautiful colors. She tilted her head, listening harder. Nothing.

"I don't hear anything."

Parvan's face was a mask of confusion.

"I can hear them right now," he said, gesturing to one corner of the room. "There's one over there that's louder than all the others."

There was a chorus of agreements, but with each child pointing to a different part of the room. Rey tried again to listen, with the same result. The irritation that began its slow constriction around her chest made her twitchy and restless. Unable to hold still, she started to pace the room, ear cocked for the slightest hint of a song. The emptiness in her gut started to gnaw again, aching and cold.

She reached out and plucked two almost identical crystals from a pile, studying their facets as if her stare could make them yield their secrets. They were cold to the touch and seemed to grow quieter. In a moment, they were all but silent. In frustration, she reached out and wrenched the Force around her, bending the music toward the crystals. She twisted it around their quiet notes, drawing out the music and forcing it to harmonize with hers. As she did it was as if something lurched inside her, and a tingle of electricity ran through her fingers as it did when she found Ben in the bond. She closed her fingers around the crystals so tight that the hard edges dug into her skin. They were warm in her palm. Rey felt a slow smile spread over her face. The holocron was wrong.

She had the strength, now she just had to make the weapon.


	24. Chapter 24: Rey

A/N: Hi everybody! *smiles*

Hope you all are doing well! Thanks to all you folks out there who have followed, favorited, and reviewed- you continue to inspire me every day to keep writing. Thank you so much!:) This chapter is a bit longer and hopefully (a few) mysteries will be unveiled for you. I hope you all enjoy it!

 _Hartmannclan: Thank you so much for your kind words over the last couple of weeks, they've brought a smile to my face every time. I'm sorry about chapter 18 though..._

 _UniKatFox: Thanks again for the heads up about chapter 3- tech's great except when it doesn't work, am I right?_

 _ELClemons: Like father, like son, what can I say?;)_

* * *

"Rey."

She looked up to see Ben standing next to her. Behind him stood his knights: Mela and Decha with the two men she hadn't met. Behind those stood the children, peering around the doorway with concern painted across their features. Rey held out her hand and slowly uncurled her fingers to show Ben the crystals glittering in her palm.

"I've chosen."

He hardly glanced at them. Instead, he reached out and clasped her shoulders with cold fingers. A shrill note of terror spiked through her at the way his grip dug into her skin. She could hear his fear and an anger he kept back beneath it. She couldn't tell if it was for her or Snoke or both.

"Rey-"

His thoughts flew through his mind, too fast for her to catch in their entirety, but it was the memory of his conversation with his knights that was close in both of their thoughts. She knew what he was about to ask her.

"Tell me what I have to do," she cut him off before he could finish. "I know we brought danger here with us. Tell me how to fix it."

"Mela will teach you this time," Ben said. "She's studied certain aspects of the Force to a depth the rest of us haven't."

Rey nodded as Mela stepped forward with a grave face.

"What do I need to do?" Rey asked, glancing toward the children at the door, the unanswered questions screaming in her head.

"I'm going to teach you how to conceal yourself," Mela said. "I'll be honest and tell you that it isn't going to be pleasant. To hide you have to almost completely cut yourself off from the Force."

Rey swallowed hard.

"Okay."

Mela took Rey's hands in hers and looked straight into her eyes.

"It'll be alright," she said. "Just follow my instructions. I'll be right here to help you."

"Together, Rey," Ben said, taking a step closer to stand at her side.

"Are you both ready?"

Rey nodded even as anxiety crept up from her stomach.

"Open yourself to the Force and tell me when you can sense it."

Rey closed her eyes. The music of the dark side was as near as the crystals in her hands and she let it flow through her like water, her fear guiding it as a stream in a channel.

"Ready," she said, pushing out a long breath.

"Reach out and gather the Force around yourself," Mela instructed. "Cover yourself with it."

Rey obeyed, twisting on the energy around her, incorporating its notes alongside hers until she sensed a muffling of the notes beyond herself.

"Push outward and manipulate the shield so it will repel all but the most basic aspects of the Force," Mela continued.

Rey's eyes snapped open as the music she'd grown to know and love vanished. She could see Ben's eyes taking on the glazed look they did when he was in the Force, but she couldn't feel him. Her head was empty of all but her own thoughts. It was an unexpected consequence and the panic that gripped her only served to strengthen the barrier between her and the music.

 _Ben?_ she called out in her thoughts, but there was no response.

It was as if he were dead: his music as silent as the songs that had belonged to the mangled bodies of the Resistance that lay cold and dead in a cave on Abafar.

"Ben?" she called, this time out loud.

"Right here, Rey," he said. "I haven't gone anywhere."

It was disorienting to be alone again, without the sound of his song in the back of her mind, or his thoughts bleeding over into hers. She remembered a time when the silence was all she wanted, but now that the time had come and she could not hear the otherworldly music of the Force, she despised it. It was as if she had lost a part of herself and it made the emptiness of the wound inside her gape wider.

"I can't feel you-"

"I know. I can't sense you either," he said, voice more uncertain than she'd ever heard it.

He held himself stiff, his uneasiness as contagious as if it had reached her through the bond. She found her own muscles drawing tight with the tension in the stillness around her. The awful sense of not belonging had returned. She was no longer a creature of the soundless world and its hushed and muted nature unsettled her in the very core of herself. Mela seemed to sense their moods.

"It's only temporary," she said, taking Rey's arm. "You can reverse it as soon as you leave, but it's a precaution we have to take. We can't take chances with Snoke on the loose."

Rey glanced back to the children watching them. She couldn't hear their music, but she saw their uncertainty in the way their eyes followed their Masters and in the way they huddled close to one another.

"Why would he want one of them?" she murmured, low enough that they couldn't hear.

"A host," Mela said. "If he has abandoned his own body, he'll be looking for a new one. He needs one strong in the Force, but weak of mind. Younglings are naturally weaker of will because they have little experience in guarding their hearts and thoughts. We have several, on this ship alone, that show a natural power that would tempt Snoke."

"But he already has a body," Rey protested. "He possessed one of the troopers. We felt his presence on the _Finalizer_."

"A trooper that isn't Force sensitive," Ben said, hand bumping hers before his fingers closed around hers in a strong grip that somehow steadied her.

"The body won't be strong enough to contain the power of somebody like Snoke for long. He'll have to make another jump," Mela said.

Rey sucked in a breath and felt her body go rigid with fear. Ben drew a step nearer until she could feel the comforting heat of him against her side. In that moment she wished he could hide her- wished they could both hide- from a galaxy that seemed to draw tight around them. Ben's arm went around her shoulders, pulling her closer into him, whether it was for her comfort or his own, she didn't know. It was still strange to have someone else to cling to when she was frightened but she leaned into him, grateful for his warmth and the courage she gained in his presence.

"It's alright, Rey," he murmured. "We'll be alright."

"I know."

Her thoughts traveled back to the little group clustered at the door and she studied them carefully. They reminded her so much of herself when she had been around their age: tentative and curious, with a knack for getting themselves into and out of trouble. The thought that, if given the chance, Snoke would consume one of them, body and soul, made her stomach ache.

"Who are they, Ben?" she asked. "How did they end up here, of all places?"

Ben saw where her attention had fixed and sighed.

"Parvan," he said, beckoning the boy into the room.

The youngling jumped in surprise, then took a careful step over the doorway.

"Yes, Master Kylo?" he asked, hands twisting in his tunic.

"I need you to take the other younglings back to their lessons. I imagine your tutors have noticed your absence by now."

Parvan's face fell into a pout.

"It was only history," he said. "And the droid is so _boring_."

Rey saw the corner of Ben's mouth twitch upward.

"Just because it's boring doesn't mean it isn't worthwhile," Mela said, hand on her hip. "Back you go, and no whining or you'll have to sit out during sparring. Just because you're off your home ship doesn't mean you get to skip lessons."

Hala crept up and peered from behind her brother.

"Is Mistress Rey going to get to stay here?" she asked.

"For a little while," Rey answered. "You'd better go back to your lessons, though. I wouldn't want you to get into trouble."

Kylo ruffled the dark heads and gave the two a little shove toward the door.

"Go on. Obey your Masters."

Parvan looked over his shoulder and grinned. Hala took his hand in her smaller one and, giving a little wave, they walked together toward the door. As the group disappeared around the corner Rey turned to Ben, waiting. He rubbed a hand over his face before turning to his knights.

"Where do we start?" he asked, hands outstretched in a gesture of deference.

"The purges," said the dark-skinned man whose name Rey didn't know.

"That's as good a place as any," agreed the grease stained man Rey recognized from her time in the bond.

Ben was quiet, staring at nothing, mind clearly elsewhere. Rey touched his arm.

"Ben?"

He flinched, but came back to himself.

"What?"

"Who are these children?"

"An atonement," he muttered. "My attempt to right things that can never be put right."

"An atonement?" she repeated.

"They were taken during the purges," explained the dark-skinned knight. "We do not kill our own."

"Well said, Cy," said the grimy knight Rey now guessed was Taryn. "But not entirely true."

"Luke's school?" Rey guessed.

Not one word was spoken between Ben and the four knights that surrounded him, but Rey could see the anguish in their faces.

"Your brothers and sisters," she said.

She knew that story. Her words were a simple truth, yet when she spoke them aloud they seemed to grow barbs to tear at those already in pain. Guilt clung like a second skin, faces and voices of the dead still haunting the living.

"They were," Ben sighed. "And we would do anything to go back and change that day, but we can't. So this has become our reparation."

"Where do they come from?"

"Any place the First Order conquered. Snoke sent us out to kill, but we disobeyed," said Taryn, a self-satisfied smile on his lips.

"Our one rebellion," muttered Ben. "We stole them away and hid them here, out of his reach."

"But how did you keep the knowledge from him?" Rey asked. "Surely he searched your thoughts."

Ben's weary eyes trailed over the room, the faraway look returning.

"He did," he said, "and I sacrificed all of my secrets to keep this most precious one. We all did."

Rey stared around her at each of them, eyes traveling from Ben to his knights and back again. Guilt churned in her stomach. She had accused them of murdering in Snoke's name while they had all suffered to keep those under their protection safe.

"How many are there?" she asked.

"One hundred and three on this ship," Mela said. "More on the other two. Nearly four hundred altogether."

"Four hundred?" Rey gaped.

"There could have been more," Ben muttered. "We could have gotten to more-"

"We did what we could, Kylo," Cy said. "If we'd tried to find more it would have drawn attention."

"I know," Ben said, fists clenched tight at his sides.

Rey read the tension in his spine and his jaw and slid a hand across his shoulders.

"What you've done here," she said, gesturing around them, "is amazing. These younglings are safe here because of you."

"And now I endanger them."

Rey squeezed his hand.

"They'll be alright, Ben."

"I have full faith that he won't be able to track either of you now that you're cloaked," Mela said with a nod. "Stop being so melancholic, Kylo, honestly."

Ben's expression cracked into a sad smile as Mela rolled her eyes.

"You try ruling a galaxy with Hux at your back and a tyrant you cannot see haunting your steps, little sister," he said. "Melancholic is the least concerning of my moods."

"It's true," Rey smiled. "You should see him blow through a room after a visit to the bridge."

"I _have_ ," said Taryn. "It isn't pretty."

"You should have seen him after Snoke got done reprimanding him," Decha chuckled.

Rey's stomach lurched painfully. She knew something of that story too, and she instinctively glanced to the scars that branched up Ben's neck. She'd seen them- knew the way they continued over his back, coiling like the roots of a tree. Ben's face twisted for a brief moment before he folded the pain carefully away and his expression smoothed. He was hiding from those closest to him, she realized. They didn't know, and he wouldn't let them see.

 _But he let her see._

"He wasn't the easiest man to get along with," he said quietly.

Cy shook his head and there was a long silence as each sank inward, memories of old agonies etching their faces. It was Mela who pulled herself free first, with a shudder that seemed to throw her back to the present.

"That's ancient history," she said softly. "We look to the future, now."

She took Rey's hands in hers and smiled.

"A future that's brighter with you in it, little sister," she said. "You're one of us, now. And you've chosen your crystals?"

Rey blinked for a moment before she remembered the two crystals she still clutched.

"It doesn't seem very important right now," she said, about to tuck them into her pocket.

"It is important." Mela said as she opened Rey's fingers so the crystals lay exposed in her palm.

They glittered in the light and Rey felt the same strange energy warming her skin. They didn't pull at her as they did when she was in the Force, but there was still something enticing about them. A strange eagerness took her, and she had to fight down an overwhelming temptation to drop the barrier around her and reach out to them in the Force. A fierce desire to master and be master seized her.

"Did you have any difficulty finding them?" Mela asked, dragging her from the temptation.

"Some. The younglings said they would sing to me, but I didn't hear anything. I only found these by using the Force."

"They spoke truly, but also in ignorance. Kyber crystals only respond to the light side. Those of us who use the dark side have to use the Force to bring them under our control."

Ben stiffened at her side and she glanced at him just in time to see him clench his fists until the knuckles went white. She didn't need the Force to know that he wasn't happy she'd used the dark side to find the crystals.

"Will they still work?" she asked.

"There aren't any defects in their structure that I can make out," said Taryn as he stepped forward to examine them. "As long as you can bend them to your will, they'll be trustworthy servants."

"What do you mean, servants?"

"What else is a weapon but a servant?" asked Cy, pulling his saber from its sheath and tossing it in the air. "It'll be a good way for you to strengthen your abilities."

Ben's mouth made a thin line as he pressed his lips together.

"This won't be an easy task, Rey," he said. "This will take everything you have to give."

"I didn't expect it would be easy," Rey said. "But I'm ready. You know I'm ready."

Ben sighed and pushed his hair back from his forehead, misgivings obvious in his expression. It was strange how, even without the Force, she could still read his emotions as though written on the pages of an open book. She'd been bonded with him for far too long for him to be able to hide from her.

"You don't think I'm ready?" she asked, arms crossing at her chest.

"No, I just wish that the crystals would have called to you instead of you having to impose your will. The dark side is a dangerous master, as I've warned you before."

Rey tried not to let her growing irritation show, but it boiled near the surface. Without the Force, Ben didn't seem able to recognize her emotions, which only served to drive them closer toward full blown anger. Mela seemed to sense her darkening mood and laid a gentle hand against Rey's arm.

"Let's see if you're ready," she said. "We'll see if you can match one of us. What's your weapon?"

"A staff," Rey replied, shortly.

Mela nodded toward Taryn, who smirked.

"That's one of Taryn's better fighting styles. You can duel him."

Ben's face hardened.

"Mela-" he started.

"Let her try," Taryn said, his smug smile remaining fixed in its place. "I can take her."

"It'll be a good way for everyone to blow off a little steam," Mela said, giving Ben a look from the side of her eyes. "We're all wound pretty tight."

Rey saw Ben glance toward her before he gave a grudging nod of his head.

"Alright," he finally conceded. "But no blood."

Taryn didn't seem able to hold back his triumphant grin.

"Get ready to lose, little sister," he said.

Rey shoved her crystals into her pocket and clenched her fists, baring her teeth in a fierce grin.

"Don't be so sure," she said. "I don't lose. Especially not to a wrench-jockey like you."

"What makes you so self-assured?" asked Taryn.

"You didn't grow up on Jakku," Rey retorted. "I did."

They ended up in a large open room that was identical to the one in which Rey had waited. She stood still in the center of one of the white rings painted on the floor, fingers wrapped tight around a metal staff, staring across at Taryn. He stalked around the edge of the circle, watching her, shifting his own staff from hand to hand. Rey didn't move. She was good at waiting.

Without warning, Taryn leapt forward. Rey darted out of his way just in time, caught unprepared without the warning from the Force to which she'd grown accustomed. The staff whistled past and she felt the breeze on her face.

"I thought this was only a spar," she growled.

"You ducked, didn't you?"

She leapt back as he swept the end of his staff at her knees. It was difficult to keep up with him without the Force surrounding her. She hadn't realized how much she'd come to rely on it until it was no longer there. But she had to prove herself. Desperation lent her its aid and as she ducked and wove, striking out where she could and parrying blows when they came too close, her muscles began to remember their work. Her sparring with Ben had kept the skill near at hand, easy to reach in need. She began to gain back ground she'd lost, focusing on the offensive more than keeping herself in a defensive posture.

"You're better than I expected you to be," Taryn said, breathing hard, as their staffs met with a crack that echoed around the room.

"So are you."

Rey shoved him backward and struck out with her staff, landing a blow against his knee. Taryn swore loudly and spun on her, bringing his staff up and around faster than she could think. It caught her across the shoulders and sent her to the floor, gasping, air driven from her lungs. She rolled over and lay on her back, struggling to pull in a breath. Taryn held his staff an inch from her nose.

"Yield."

Rey stared up at him and tried not to smile. She'd been knocked flat on her back in the dirt before. She hadn't lost then, and she wasn't about to lose now. In a flash, she grasped Taryn's weapon and hauled herself to her feet. One hand keeping it pinned to her side, she swung her own staff, checking it a hairsbreadth from his ear.

"Yield."

"That's your loss, Taryn," said Cy.

Decha's eyes were wide and Mela let out a low whistle.

"That was quite a move," she said. "It wouldn't work against a saber, but it was brilliant for the situation. Where'd you learn to do that?"

Rey shrugged. In honesty, she hadn't learned it anywhere. She'd taught herself the trick after she'd lost one too many times to an older scavenger.

"I think it's brilliant," Decha exulted as he clapped her on the back before frantically apologizing when she winced.

Ben ignored the general chaos of congratulations and pulled her in against his side.

"Well done," he said. "Just be careful not to bring your old habits into a saber battle. It's a good way to lose an arm, or worse. It'll be something we can work on together."

Rey nodded, his praise and the promise of time alone training with him soothing the pride his admonition had wounded. She would have to remember the wisdom of his words, though she doubted she would be tempted to grab hold of a saberstaff if she were in the same position.

"What would you say to a duel, Supreme Leader?" Cy asked as he sidled up on Ben's other side and stuck an elbow into his ribs. "It's been a while and Rey's victory has inspired me. Let's see if I can finally best you."

Rey saw Ben's jaw clench as he turned to his knight.

"Don't call me that."

"Only trying to bait you," Cy chuckled. "Come on, your Supreme Leadership. Let loose once in a while."

Ben's hand was already at his belt and reaching for his saber. He drew it, thumb playing over the ignition button.

"Say it again," he challenged.

In response, Cy smirked and began to circle him in a half crouch, head on a pivot to keep Ben in sight. Ben kept still, but his narrowed eyes never left Cy's frame. Rey saw him tensing to spring, but Cy struck before he could. The knight's red saber arched through the air on the level of Ben's neck. Ben twisted out of the way, blocking the swing with his weapon. The sabers met with a sharp buzz and their light flared.

Just as quickly Cy stepped back, putting distance between them. It was Ben's turn to go on the offensive, darting in from the side, thrusting his saber at Cy's stomach. With a turn of his wrist and a step to the side, Cy sent the stroke wide.

Back and forth they went, trading blows, neither getting close to landing one on his opponent. Rey could not look away as the speed and power behind the weapons began to intensify. She gasped and half ducked when Ben checked Cy's saber an inch from his face.

"Don't worry Rey," Mela whispered. "They're well in control of themselves. They aren't even trying right now."

"Have you ever seen them lose control?"

Mela shifted and glanced at her from the corner of her eye.

"Once, yes. Many years ago. Cy has a nasty scar from that battle."

Rey winced as another of Cy's blows came a little too close to Ben.

"How often do they injure one another?"

"Less now than when Snoke made them duel as boys. Usually only bruises."

There was a grunt from the ring and Rey looked up in time to see Ben stumbling backwards after a kick from Cy.

"Now they're getting into it," Decha crowed at her side. "Come on, Cy, you can take him."

Both combatants ignored the call, minds focused solely on the battle at hand. Rey held her breath as the sabers started to flash faster. Cy had the advantage of strength, that much was clear as he used it to drive Ben around the circle, but Ben had speed. He darted forward and backward, spinning out of striking range with a grace Rey knew well from her battle against him and the one she'd fought at his side. Even without the Force, he was a formidable opponent.

Cy had just shoved him backward again when Ben turned and ducked under a sweeping blow, driving his saber up so Cy's was trapped between the blade and the cross guard. He gave a sharp twist and Cy's lightsaber flew from his fingers, spinning through the air to crack against the floor. Ben stood, breathing hard, and held his saber a few centimeters from his knight's neck.

"You almost won that time, Cy."

"You'd better work harder, or I will next time," Cy said, shoving Ben in the shoulder.

Ben let out a short laugh and shoved him back and Rey had, again, the strange feeling that she was seeing Ben as he had been as a child, years ago before Snoke had broken him and turned him into a shadow of himself. She watched from a distance with Mela as he and his knights traded friendly jibes and congratulatory slaps. The boyish, lopsided grin he wore stirred something inside her and an answering smile tugged at the corners of her mouth.

"It's good to see them like that, isn't it?" Mela asked quietly. "I wish Jai and Corann could have been here too. It would have been good for them."

"He's so different when he's with them. A good different."

Mela's smile was thin and faint.

"He used to be like this all the time," she said. "He was the gentlest, most curious little boy I'd ever met."

She laughed and ran her fingers through her hair, shaking her head.

"He found a convor chick once. It imprinted on him and for a whole summer he carried that little thing around in his pocket until it got too big and flew away."

Rey stared at her, trying to imagine Ben caring for a baby bird for an entire season.

"We were all different then," Mela continued, wrapping her arms around herself. "Snoke broke us. One by one. Kylo first because he was the one he wanted, but the rest of us weren't far behind. We became slaves to what we hated."

There were tears in her eyes when she looked up at Rey.

"My name was Neoma then," she murmured.

"Why don't you still use it?"

"That name belonged to a girl who saw wonder in the light that clung to her. All I see now is death and darkness. The dreams that felt like a gift are a curse now."

Rey didn't know what to say, so she stayed quiet as Mela scrubbed at her eyes and let out a long sigh.

"That's why we've done all of this," she said, gesturing around them. "To protect the younglings from being exploited by a galaxy that only sees them as a potential to gain and keep power, or worse, as a threat to that power. Like Kylo said, it's our way to make amends."

"I think I understand," Rey said quietly. "And you should know that this is a good thing that you're doing."

"It's never felt like enough," Mela said, a weary smile on her face. "I'm not sure if it ever will."

Rey was just about to reply when she heard the chime of a holopad. Ben reached into a pocket and pulled it out, scrolling through several messages. He paused on one and stared at it for several seconds. His face, flushed from battle, drained of color even as she watched. His movements lost some of their freedom and she watched his shoulders take on their usual tension. Exhaustion stole back into his expression. Before her eyes, the childlike Ben Solo transformed back into Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader of the galaxy. Something in her chest squeezed tight around her heart.

"Ben?" she asked.

"Just a message I was waiting on from Hux," he said. "We should probably go back. I need to check into something."

"It can't wait?" asked Decha.

"I wish it could," Ben muttered.

Cy shook his head and threw an arm over Ben's shoulder.

"Well, if you have to go, take care of yourself," he said. "Watch your back. Comm if you need anything."

"Will do."

Mela seized Rey in a fierce hug, pressing a kiss against her cheek. Rey tensed at the touch, then slowly relaxed when the knight didn't let go, her arms wrapping tentatively around Mela's shoulders.

"Be safe, little sister," she said. "May the Force be with you."

There was a flurry of warm embraces from the other knights, and then she and Ben were free. Together they walked down the corridor towards the hangar. Rey glanced back to see Mela twitch her fingers in a wave. Rey waved back and gave her the smallest of smiles. The thought that she could come back to this ship and not only meet these people again but be welcomed by them was entirely foreign. If she were honest with herself, it made her a little nervous. It reminded her of something that she couldn't quite place: like something she was on the very point of remembering when it slipped away again, back into the darkness of forgetfulness.

It almost reminded her of the affection she'd felt for Finn and Poe and the rest of her friends in the Resistance. But they had cursed her and turned their backs before they died. They had betrayed her. She couldn't afford any more entanglements like that. She couldn't afford any more betrayal. Her heart had to remain closed to everyone.

Everyone but Ben.

Ben was the only family she could allow herself to have because she knew him, and he knew her better than anyone else in the galaxy. But her love and trust were two sides of a double-edged sword and she knew in her deepest of hearts that if she lost him, she would lose her world. She refused to risk her heart on anything less.

Back on the _Silencer_ and several minutes into hyperspace, Rey unwound the dark side from her song and flung it away as though casting off a robe. The music of the Force rushed back to her, low and beautiful and sending its familiar vibrations through her bones to reawaken her. She could sense Ben's presence in her mind again. It was as though she had been holding her breath underwater to surface at last and gasp in life giving air. The closeness and stifling silence had been more terrible than she'd anticipated. It was a relief to listen again, even if Ben's anxiety shrilled in her ears.

"Ben?"

"I'll tell you when I know more," he said, reading her question in her thoughts. "It's just a report that I need to look into."

"Whatever it is, it's got you upset. Can't you tell me?"

"Not until I know more. Don't worry about it, I'm just being paranoid."

Rey was tempted to push harder for information but decided against it. She was so tired of worrying. She closed her eyes and leaned against the hull of the ship, listening to the intoxicating music of hyperspace. The excitement of the day and her lack of rest finally caught up with her and her head began to bob. In the seconds before sleep claimed her, Rey thought she heard something. It was a soft, gentle note, almost indiscernible from her own and Ben's. As quickly as it came, it vanished and she wondered, with the muddled thoughts of a half sleeper, whether it had been only a trick of her tired mind. She settled herself more comfortably against the wall and slipped into a sleep without dreams, forgetting entirely that single, strange note that had whispered to her in the silvery light of hyperspace.


	25. Chapter 25: Ben

A/N: Thanks to everyone who's continued to follow/favorite and review. You're making me want to dump all of the chapters I've written all at once... seriously, it's becoming a real problem for my self-control! Thanks also to my amazing beta Leona2016 for helping me iron out this chapter and many...many future chapters! *eyelid twitches*

I hope you all enjoy this one! I'd love to hear what you think!

Take care of yourselves and be safe until next time:)

* * *

Ben leaned back in the pilot's seat and studied the message Hux had sent him. A long list of codes scrolled past: the operating numbers for the troopers and their ranks. The general had, if nothing else, kept his word to update him on Phasma's company inspection. Two numbers stood out from the rest of the black text. The red of the lines of script seemed to stare back at him, a horrible, freezing suspicion taking possession of his thoughts. He seemed to hear Mela's words again and again.

 _He's going to have to make another jump._

Two men missing from inspection with record of only one in the medical ward. It had been months since he'd seen such a thing- the day the _Supremacy_ was reduced to a crippled hulk. But then there had been casualty reports to explain the red numbers. There were none now.

He tried to find a sense of calm. He tried to tell himself that he was being foolish and paranoid. But the silent dread would not leave him. He looked over his shoulder to find Rey, head drooping toward one shoulder, sound asleep. It was a small relief that she hadn't pressed him for information. He wasn't sure he could have kept it from her if she'd decided to fight. The way her chest rose and fell in a gentle rhythm and the expression on her face that had relaxed into something almost like peace eased his anxiety. But he also saw the dark circles under her eyes and the way she kept her body tightly huddled against the wall as if it could provide her with a semblance of protection. She feared Snoke. She had every right to fear Snoke. It had only been a few months since the tyrant had vanished, but he had been shadowing their steps ever since. Sooner or later, he would spring. He stared down at the little red number. The memory of his dream and Snoke's promise that they would meet again haunted him. Could it really be so soon?

Rey did not wake until the _Silencer_ slid through the magnetic shield and into the _Finalizer_ , engines pitching down to a low purr as the craft settled into its docking site.

"We're back?" she mumbled, sitting up and stretching to look out the viewport in a half-dazed fashion. "That was fast."

"You slept the whole way."

Rey sighed and rubbed her hands across her face.

"Making up for last night," she said around a yawn. "Don't think it was enough though."

Together, they left the confines of the starship for the open air of the hangar and slid onto the floor, starting for the lifts on the far side of the room. Ben's mind was so completely occupied by thoughts of Phasma's report that he didn't realize they were being followed until Rey let out a startled cry and leapt sideways, knocking against him. A figure several inches shorter than Rey and clad in a gray uniform, dark hair chopped close to her scalp, released Rey's arm and straightened, holding out a data pad. Ben stared at the mechanic, recognizing her but not able to remember where he'd seen her.

"Lita," Rey gasped, "don't scare me like that."

"Sorry, Rey," said the girl with a slight bow. "And excuse me for interrupting, Supreme Leader, but I wanted to speak with you both about the _Silencer_. I ran some diagnostics…"

Realization dawned on Ben. It was the mechanic who'd helped Rey disassemble his TIE.

"Go ahead," he said.

Lita backed up a pace and clutched the data pad closer against her chest, swallowing hard. Ben waited for her to gather herself, trying to suppress his impatience at the delay. The little mechanic took a deep breath and glanced around. Ben followed her shifting eyes, finding nothing but empty air and a few troopers far enough away that he couldn't hear their conversation. Lita's eyes flicked back to Rey and the tight lines of her shoulders seemed to ease by a fraction.

"I was hoping we could discuss my findings?"

"By all means," Ben said. "Rey, can you deal with this?"

Rey was in the middle of a nod when five short fingernails seized the sleeve of his tunic and dug into his skin. Lita clutched at him, face pale.

"You need to hear this too," she hissed. "Because it was you Hux wanted dead when I heard Captain Phasma give one of the mechanics orders to sabotage your ship."

Ben hesitated, not sure he should let on how much he already knew.

"Which mechanic?" he asked.

Lita released him, glancing over her shoulders again to assure herself no one was listening, before pulling the data pad from her chest and studying it as though she were reading him a report.

"I couldn't see," she said. "I was working under one of the TIEs when I heard them talking. I tried, sir. I really did. But the man was facing away from me and then I didn't see him again until he was crawling out of your ship. He was too far away for me to see his face. I was going to try to figure out what he'd tampered with, but you both were boarding by the time I got close. I climbed up on one of the scaffoldings and tried to stop you."

"I saw you!" Rey exclaimed. "You were waving and saying something."

"I was trying to tell you to stop, but it didn't work," she said. "I should have tried harder. I'm sorry. I was so glad when you came back alive."

Ben glanced at Rey, then back to the little mechanic standing stiff and terrified before them.

"Why are you telling us this?" he asked.

The trooper met his eyes with a steadiness that surprised him.

"Because if you are in danger, then so is Rey," she said, scanning the hangar again as her voice quieted into something scarcely more than a murmur. "And, if I may be so free, better you than Hux, sir."

"What do you mean?" asked Rey.

Lita shifted uncomfortably and kept quiet for several long seconds.

"I'd rather swear loyalty to the Supreme Leader than to General Hux," she said at last, dipping into a slight bow in Rey's direction. "Especially with you at his side, Rey. I do not trust Kylo Ren, but I trust Hux less."

Ben kept his astonishment hidden, but he couldn't extinguish the spark of hope the trooper's words lit in his heart. The little mechanic Rey had befriended was a reassurance that the trap in which he and Rey were standing might not close around them. He had longed for something like this and had doubted he would ever see it come to pass. But it stood before them now, swearing aloud a desire to follow where they led the very day that he feared would bring him face to face with a greater enemy than Hux. The irony was not lost to him.

"Are there any others who share that opinion?" he asked.

Lita carefully pushed her data pad toward him, pointing as if to show him something on the display. It remained blank, though Lita watched it as she spoke beneath her breath.

"I'm not sure, sir," she said. "If they do, they don't speak of them. Treasonous words get people killed. The only reason I say them now is because I know that you are not a friend of the general."

"That's no secret," Ben said.

"He apparently considers you just as much of an enemy, if Phasma was sent to arrange your deaths," Lita said.

"You seem to trust us enough to tell us these things," Rey said, "but how do we know we can trust you?"

Lita lifted her chin a fraction of an inch, frowning.

"Because you are my friend. But if I was mistaken when I thought that meant something to you, then I offer my word as a stormtrooper. I will not betray you."

"You're betraying your vow to the First Order right now," Rey said, brow arched. "So, what is the word of a stormtrooper worth?"

Lita looked first stricken, then angry. Ben stretched out a hand and squeezed Rey's shoulder. The suspicion in her voice was as startling as a blow across his face; an alarming reminder of what she was becoming.

"She's telling the truth, Rey. You know it. Stop trying to trap her in her words."

"I'm only trying to make sure she knows how important this is."

"I do know," Lita snapped. "That's why I'm here to warn you that Hux is out for your blood."

"We know he is," Rey said. "He dropped several bombs on us after he tried to send the _Silencer_ into the dirt."

Ben sighed.

"Can we count on you to come to us again if you hear of any other plot, trooper?"

"Yes, sir," Lita said. "And I'll keep my eyes and ears open for any others who question Hux's leadership. After the defeat of the _Supremacy_ , there may be more willing to set aside their loyalty to the General."

"Just be smart about it," Rey said, a little shortly.

"What do you take me for?" Lita asked, hand on her hip. "I didn't last this long in the First Order by being an idiot."

She saluted and turned on her heel, stalking away from them to disappear under a TIE. Rey glanced at him, consternation written across her features.

"What do you make of that?" she asked.

"Our chance to be free of Hux."

"It's only one, Ben," Rey said.

"If you keep harassing her like that, there won't be any."

"I just wanted to warn her off. The safest place for any friends of ours is far away from us."

"But our only chance against Hux and Snoke is if we have allies."

"One makes no difference," Rey said.

"If there's one, there's more," he said.

"How do you know?"

"I don't," he said. "But for the first time in a long time, I have hope that Hux won't be breathing down our necks for much longer."

Rey bit her lower lip and hugged herself.

"I wish I could believe that, Ben," she said. "I really do."

Ben watched her shoulders slump. After looking about to make sure no one was watching, he let his hand rest against the small of her back.

"Go back to your quarters," he said. "Rest. I know you're tired."

"I'm fine," she said.

"You're not," he said. "You hardly slept last night and whatever you managed to get on the _Silencer_ wasn't enough."

"You didn't get a good night's sleep either, and you're fine."

"I haven't slept well in years. I'm used to it."

"Ben…" she started.

"I have to take care of a few things anyway. You can sleep while I'm gone."

Rey finally conceded the argument as her jaw stretched wide in a yawn. She nodded to him and split off for a lift that would take her to the level of their quarters. Ben made straight for the bridge. His heart crept into his throat as he strode through the corridors, thoughts of Snoke's pale eyes haunting his steps.

When he reached the bridge, a young officer in a black uniform intercepted him.

"The general is unavailable right now," he said. "Is there a way I can assist you, Supreme Leader?"

Ben was instantly suspicious.

"I need to speak with Hux," Ben said, brushing aside the man's offer of aid. "Where is he?"

"He's in a meeting with a few of the communications officers right now, sir. I believe it had something to do with their lack of information on Resistance movements. Is there a message I could relay to him?"

Ben held up his holopad.

"I got Captain Phasma's report on this morning's troop inspection and there are a few concerns I need addressed."

"I should be able to answer any questions you have, sir," the young man said, voice wavering only slightly as Ben glowered at him.

"Well then," Ben said, crossing his arms, "why do I have a missing man with no record as to his whereabouts. I'm sure you're well aware how low of a tolerance Captain Phasma has for absences."

"Yes, sir," said the man. "We're actually still investigating that. The man didn't turn up for inspection this morning and is nowhere to be found. It's as though he's disappeared."

"Have you asked his bunkmate about the situation?"

"Captain Phasma did, yes, but from all I hear he was no help."

"Perhaps I can get the information out of him?" Ben asked.

"You can try," he said, "but I doubt you'll get any more out of him than Phasma did. He's the one that was sent to the med bay."

"Why the med bay?"

"Psych eval. Phasma deemed him unfit for duty after questioning him. We're awaiting the results, but if you ask me the man's gone mad."

Ben's gut told him he needed to keep digging.

"I'll go speak with him," he said. "Maybe I can decipher something Phasma missed."

"Should I tell the General you wish to speak with him?" the officer called after him as Ben slipped back into the corridor.

Ben ignored the comment and made his way to the med bay, slowed by the traffic of stormtroopers that strode past on their own business. The crowed thinned a little the closer he got to his destination, but he still brushed shoulders with several troopers before he stepped into the relative quiet of the _Finalizer's_ medical center. He breathed a small sigh of relief in the suddenly open air and glanced around, looking for someone he could ask for directions.

He had scarcely had time to absorb any of what he was seeing when a med droid walked past with a tray of silver surgical instruments, humming and clicking to itself. Ben stepped forward, hand outstretched.

"I'm looking for a patient," he said. "Can you show me where he is?"

The droid looked at him and, though its face was metal and completely expressionless, Ben could have sworn he saw it scowl.

"What patient?" it asked, peevishly.

"He's a trooper here for a psych eval," Ben explained. "HP-904."

The droid motioned to the far corner of the cavernous space.

"Psychological cases are examined over there," it said.

Ben nodded his thanks and strode in the direction the droid had shown him. There were several partitions separating the space into individual rooms that he peered into as he passed. Most were empty, but he saw that the last cubicle on his left was occupied. He peered inside to see a man slumped on the exam table, head in his hands, an expression of shock frozen on his features. He glanced up as Ben entered the room and leapt to his feet, saluting. Ben shook his head.

"At ease, HP- 904. I'm only here to talk."

"Talk, sir?"

Ben stood in the corner of the room, arms crossed.

"About why you're here."

The trooper's face went stony.

"I'm not crazy, sir. I don't care what they said."

"I never said you were."

"You believe me?" the man asked, incredulity staining his words. "You don't think I've gone off the deep end?"

"Why should I?"

"I saw a man vanish," he said. "That doesn't scream crazy to you, sir?"

Ben felt his heart plummet into his stomach, but he tried not to let his dismay show.

"It depends," he said. "Maybe you'd better start from the beginning."

He edged the suggestion with a slight push from the Force, easing the man's anxiety in his presence and prompting him to begin speaking. The trooper held out his hands in a gesture of helpless surrender.

"I was friends with Nines- I mean HP-909," he said. "Have been ever since we were recruits. We were bunkmates too."

"So you knew him well."

The trooper nodded.

"We had each other's backs. I always knew that I could trust him," 904 trailed into silence for several moments before he continued. "Up until a few months ago, anyway."

Ben held his tongue, waiting for the man to continue.

"He was different after the destruction of the _Supremacy._ Real different. Almost like another person, sir. Didn't eat like he used to- slept little. He was losing weight and looked sick, if you ask me. I thought it was the battle getting to him. Sometimes it happens- FN-2187 was an example. I figured he would come around. I didn't ever imagine anything like what happened this morning."

A horrible fear wrapped its long fingers around Ben's heart and began to squeeze. He heard the man's next words, but they came to him muffled by his own screaming thoughts.

"We were getting ready for the Captain's inspection," said the man, his face pale and his words coming out in a rush. "He just dropped. I thought he'd passed out or something and commed the medics. By then I realized he wasn't breathing. I tried to bring him back. I was trying to bring him back when the body disappeared right under my fingers. It shook me up pretty bad, sir. I don't remember much after that, just that when the medics got there and I told them what happened they brought me here."

Ben narrowed his eyes, studying the man. He would have been an easy host for Snoke to take- a weak presence in the Force with a will that Ben did not consider to be made of iron, but there was no trace of Snoke on the man and Ben couldn't sense a shield. Trooper 904 apparently remained in possession of his mind and body.

"I believe you." Ben said, breaking the tense silence.

"You do?" asked 904.

Ben nodded and, without warning, he stretched out a hand toward the man, reaching for his mind with the Force. HP-904 writhed for a moment, eyes wide and full of the pain so characteristic of the mind probe Ben used to sort through the man's memories. He found the ones he needed and wrenched them free. 904 shuddered and blinked, then gazed at his surroundings as though lost.

"What happened?" he asked, giving his head a small shake. "Where am I?"

"You had a bit of a spell," Ben said, adopting the low sing-song of a mind trick. "You're in the med bay. Your friend HP-909 has deserted and it seems, with recent events being what they are, you took the news rather badly."

904's expression froze.

"I remember now," he mumbled. "909…deserted."

"When you're asked what happened to him, you will say he was gone when you woke for troop inspection this morning."

"I'll tell them he was gone…" murmured the trooper.

Ben nodded and dropped his hand. HP-904 slumped, mouth slack and eyes unfocused. There was a fleeting sense of tightness in Ben's chest at the pain and damage he'd inflicted, but he pushed it away as he always did, to somewhere deep inside where he could pass it by without thought. He was just about to get up and leave when, to his great surprise, he spotted a familiar stiff coif of red hair over the top of the partition. He had to fight the urge to let out a groan. Half a second later, Hux swept into the close space. He caught sight of Ben and jerked backward, a scowl twisting his face.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

"The same as you, I imagine," Ben replied, trying to keep his voice mild. "Asking questions."

"Since when does the Supreme Leader lower himself to interrogate troops?"

"I do when it's my business," Ben said. "And I thought this was a matter that concerned me, though apparently I was wrong."

Hux glanced toward the trooper that sat, still looking slightly dazed, on the exam table.

"What did he say?" he asked.

"I'm not your messenger boy, Hux," Ben said with feigned unconcern. "Ask him yourself."

Hux glared daggers at him, but Ben didn't flinch. Hux's murderous looks had long ago ceased to raise anything more than mild irritation.

"Well?" Hux asked, rounding on HP-904.

"Well what, sir?" asked the man, stupidly.

Hux seemed to be fighting to control himself, face contorting with the effort. Ben might have laughed if it had been about anything but Snoke. At last, Hux seemed to bring himself in check. He took a deep breath in through his nose and straightened his pristine uniform.

"What happened this morning?" he asked. "Where is HP-909?"

Ben held his breath. Even after all the years he'd spent using mind tricks, he still got nervous when it came to the point. Suppose it hadn't taken. 904 looked helplessly back and forth between Ben and Hux for a moment before he swallowed hard and said:

"I don't know, sir. He was gone when I got up for inspection."

"What do you mean, _gone_?"

"I-I guess he deserted, sir," muttered the man. "He'd been acting strangely ever since the _Supremacy-_ "

"Yes, all right," the general said, interrupting 904 before he reminded Hux of the greatest failure of his career.

"He didn't say anything about it, though," said the trooper. "He was just gone this morning."

Hux crossed his arms and looked skeptically down at the man.

"None of that was in the report I was given this morning by Captain Phasma. Your stories are ludicrously inconsistent. In fact, trooper, I think the only thing they both agree on, is that HP-909 is no longer on this ship."

As he spoke, Hux's voice rose to a shout. HP-904 seemed used to it, however, and simply stared straight ahead at the wall, letting the words wash over him without so much as a change in expression. When Hux had finished ranting, the man spoke.

"I think I was a bit confused this morning, sir. I might have been having a fit: seeing things, or something. I was so angry at the traitor, that I don't remember much of what I said or did. I apologize for any inconvenience I may have caused."

"May have?" berated Hux. "You're little memory problem has cost us time, energy, and resources. Get back to your station, trooper, before I decide to put you on droid work for the next month."

The man winced and hurried from the room and Ben breathed a silent sigh of relief. The mind trick had worked. He was the only one who knew about Snoke. Better that way. If Hux suspected-

"Well?" asked the general, his nasally voice breaking into Ben's thoughts. "When are you going to harass me about the second desertion in less than six months?"

Ben gazed at him, not comprehending. Hux slammed his holopad down on the exam table and swore violently at him.

"You didn't hesitate to expound on my failings and misjudgments the last time this happened. Why are you keeping quiet? Some grand scheme to make me look the fool?"

"You don't need me for that, Hux," Ben said. "You're doing fine on your own."

Hux's face went purple with rage and he let out a string of curses so foul that Ben was glad Rey had stayed behind.

"Hardly proper behavior for a general of the First Order," he said, wryly.

Hux's eyes narrowed and he thrust a finger at Ben's chest.

"You're hardly the man who should be casting judgment, Ren," he spat. "You're no paradigm of civility. Until that girl came, you were out of control."

Ben raised an eyebrow.

"Correlation and causation are not the same thing, general."

"Say what you will," Hux said with a dismissive wave of his hand. "I'm not as ignorant as you believe me to be. I've lived longer than even you, oh Supreme Leader, and I see things. I hear things as well, so don't lie to me and say the girl means nothing to you."

"A master and an apprentice always bond," said Ben, keeping his expression blank. "It's nothing out of the ordinary."

"Then why were you seen coming out of her room this morning, instead of your own?" Hux asked, a despicable smirk on his face.

Ben was suddenly nauseous. He'd underestimated the general- something Snoke had warned him never to do- and now Hux knew, or at least he suspected. Ben forced a laugh and shrugged, trying desperately to brush off his panic.

"Training."

"You expect me to believe that?"

"I don't expect you to understand anything about the Force," Ben shot back. "And if you cannot understand, you should not speak."

The two men stood glowering at each other for a long minute. Ben refused to back down, even as alarm bells began to sound in the back of his mind. This was a moment in which he could not afford to show weakness.

At last, Hux bent his head in a stiff half bow.

"I apologize, Supreme Leader," he said, jaw tight. "I was out of line."

Ben's clenched his fists until his nails dug into the skin of his palms to keep from striking the man. He forced himself to remember that he only had the loyalty of one trooper. One. There were no more to back him if he attacked Hux, and there were enough loyal to their general to prove a danger to Rey. He'd been careless and naive, and now Hux and his cronies were getting a little too close to discovering the truth about who Rey really was to him.

"Keep your nose out of my business, Hux," he snarled before stalking out of the room, not trusting himself to keep his hands off of the man's throat.

He stormed through the hallways, mind turning over and over with his worst fears. Snoke was on their tails and Hux was growing more and more suspicious. Rey was in danger. He was in danger. He had a hard time imagining how things could get any worse.

And then he walked into Rey's apartments.


	26. Chapter 26: Ben

A/N: *long sigh*

Al _right..._ Hartmannclan, you've beaten me. Here's your early update...

Hope you all enjoy this chapter! I'd love to hear what you think of it! Let me know what you like/dislike or any constructive criticism you might have. I love to hear your opinions/ speculations. Thanks again to everyone who continues to follow/favorite/review and to my beta Leona2016. You all are the reason I keep plugging away at this monstrosity.

* * *

He should have known something was wrong. He should have sensed it. He should have stopped her.

His thoughts screamed at him, accusing him of leaving her alone and in danger as he stood over her still form. Rey was sitting cross-legged on the floor with the holocron before her and various metal pieces and parts scattered on every side. Her hands were lying at her sides, palms up, with a crystal nestled against the callused skin of each. Her eyes were open but unseeing and her face was fixed in an expression of pain. Ben swore, fighting down the urge to strike out at something.

He shouldn't have left her alone with the crystals. He knew the darkness in her had been tempting her to master them from the moment she'd first bent them towards her will. There would be no stopping her now. She was too deep in the trance to bring her out. She would wake when she'd forced them under her control, and she would awaken deeper under the dominion of the dark side. He was helpless. He swore again, and kicked savagely at the wall, slamming his palm against the flat surface hard enough to leave a dent.

"No!" he roared, pouring his impotent frustration and anxiety and fury into that one, useless word he knew no one could hear.

The realization that he could do nothing paralyzed him and he collapsed into a chair to stare across at Rey, drained of all but his ever-present fear.

"What were you thinking?" he asked her, knowing she wouldn't reply.

After Hux's insinuations, he'd meant to tell her that he'd be sleeping in his own quarters for a few days, but as he watched the shallow tide of her breathing and saw her pale face, twisted in the ghosts of fears and pain of years past, he found that he couldn't leave her. He couldn't leave her side during what would be her greatest test yet. To bleed the crystals, she would have to visit parts of her life again. He'd lived his terror and rage and guilt in an endless repetition to make his saber. She was reliving her years of waiting. He wasn't sure which was worse.

Hours seemed to pass as he sat before her, waiting for a sign that Rey was awake. She didn't shift so much as a finger, though her eyelids slid shut as time drifted past them. Ben fought his own exhaustion, hours without sleep beginning to take their toll. He perched on the chair, blinking hard and squinting through a haze, catching his head nodding several times before his chin at last hit his chest and he slipped into sleep without realizing he'd passed the threshold.

...

 _The loneliness was eating into him, carving the wound in his chest still deeper. Abandoned. Alone. He was alone on a forsaken little desert planet. He hurt. His feet hurt from walking and his shoulder hurt from being pulled along by the great hand of the Crolute that kept such a tight grip on his arm that he could see bruises beginning to form under the fingers. His throat burned from screaming._

 _"I want mummy," said a small, scratchy voice he didn't recognize, but that seemed to come from his own throat. "I want my daddy."_

 _"They're not coming back."_

 _The ache in his shoulder grew steadily worse as he tried to pull away, and the little voice became more insistent._

 _"You're lying!" it wailed. "I want my mummy and daddy!"_

 _A great, ugly face obstructed his field of view and he was being shaken._

 _"They sold you," said the creature. "You belong to me now."_

Ben woke with a gasp from a sleep into which he hadn't meant to fall, shaking and running with cold sweat. He turned his head back and forth, trying to remember where he was. His eyes stopped on Rey. Her face was twisted into an expression of horror- her mind trapped in a nightmare from which she could not wake. Everything slammed back into his memory and he slumped in the chair, feeling as if there were a weight pushing him down. He wished more than anything that he could pull Rey from the darkness clutching at her. It clung to her and beckoned to him, its familiar seductive call tempting him to sink deeper into the dark with her. It would be so easy to just give in. He was on the very point of releasing the weak grasp he'd managed to keep on his will and allowing the dark to flow through him when a prickle at the back of his neck distracted him. There was a presence behind him that he hadn't felt in years. He spun, not quite believing it.

A man stood before him, shaggy hair nearly obscuring a brow Ben remembered to have fewer furrows, his once neatly kept beard now grizzled and flecked with gray. But the eyes had remained unchanged. Bright blue and piercing so that they seemed to peel back every lie Ben had ever told and expose every atrocity he'd ever committed. He had always been a little afraid of those eyes, but now he stood utterly terrified under their steady gaze. The man didn't say anything- just stared at Ben. Ben swallowed the lump in his throat and opened his mouth.

"Hello, Uncle."

"Hello, Ben," said Luke Skywalker. "It's been a while."

Ben's fear changed swiftly to anger and he fingered the saber at his belt.

"Through no fault of mine," he snapped.

Luke raised an eyebrow.

"That's not entirely true, now is it?"

Ben drew the saber from his belt, thumb hovering over the activation switch. He bared his teeth.

"What are you doing here?" he growled, "I've got enough to worry about without you coming here and making accusations."

"Dark side not all that you expected it to be?" Luke asked, a slight smile on his lips.

Hatred darker than any but what he held for Snoke bloomed in his chest and he swore violently at his uncle.

"It's easy for you to laugh," he shouted, his rage getting the better of him. "You don't live it every day. You don't have to watch when she follows the same path you have-"

His voice choked off into silence as he realized what he'd said. Luke just kept smiling. Ben found that it stoked his fury. He welcomed it, as he welcomed the relief of shouting after months of silence and fear. He longed to lash out at his uncle but knew it wouldn't do any good. Luke wasn't really there. He could tell by the feel of his presence in the Force.

Luke ignored him and Ben saw his eyes drifting to where Rey sat on the floor, still deep in her trance. His face went grave.

"Was killing not enough for you?" he asked. "Did you have to corrupt her too?"

Ben's insides went cold and despair mingled with his anger, weakening it.

"I tried to keep her from it," he said.

"You didn't try hard enough," Luke said. "You're bonded, boy. Can't you feel the pain she's in?"

The anger rushed back in to drown his despair. He felt Rey's pain more keenly than Luke knew. Dark thoughts and emotions flowed from her into him, memories not his own plaguing him. Harsh words he'd never heard before rang in his ears. When he'd tried to sleep, he saw faces he didn't know. She was lonely, and so he was lonely. She was hurting, and so he hurt with her. Luke had no idea.

Ben's thumb depressed the activation switch and his lightsaber blazed to life in his hands. He no longer cared if his strokes were useless. He needed to strike at something, and Luke was before him. He had years of pent up anger and grief behind him and the power of the dark side in his veins.

"This is your fault," Ben bellowed. "She was safe with you. You should have made her stay."

He slashed at Luke's image, the red light passing harmlessly through his uncle's insubstantial form.

"What makes you think anything that I could say would have kept her from you, Benjamin Solo?" Luke shot back. "The dark side called to her even in the brief time I taught her. You called to her. I saw you that night. I knew you'd bonded yourself to her, trying to draw her to your side. It seems you've succeeded."

"It wasn't me!" Ben shouted back at him. "It was Snoke. He was the one-"

"So be it," Luke interrupted. "But how do you explain what she is now? When she left me, she was bound and determined to bring you to the light."

Ben glanced back at Rey's horror-stricken face, trying to block out the memories of a little girl's screams flitting through his head.

"I thought-" he started, "I thought she was like me. I only wanted her then because she was like me."

"Then?" asked Luke.

Ben struggled with the tangle of emotions in his chest. He was so tired of being angry. The awful boiling emotion slipped from him more easily than he'd imagined it could. It seemed to leave a void where it had drained away.

"I love her," he said helplessly. "More than anything."

Luke watched him without speaking, those terrible eyes roaming over his face, seeming to search him to his very soul. Ben looked away. Shame filled him, memories spilling over into his mind. He'd pushed them back for so long. He saw again the young faces of his classmates, pale and still and silent. Dead at his own hand. He saw Luke's face, twisted in horror and fear, a green lightsaber raised above his head.

"You lied to her," he rasped.

"At first, yes. Why do you think she ran to you?" Luke murmured. "I tried to protect her, but you told her, and I had no choice but to tell her the truth. She took it as a betrayal."

Ben glanced up to see his uncle at Rey's side, his hand stroking her hair as a father might his daughter's.

"Don't touch her," he said, striding forward with his hand outstretched to knock Luke's away.

His old master didn't move. He continued to pass his fingers over Rey's hair, expression distant and sad. Ben's hand fell to his side, and he watched as Luke bent and pressed a kiss against the top of Rey's head. She didn't respond.

"I was wrong," Luke murmured. "I was wrong and now I bear the burden of another student lost to the dark side."

Ben kept stubbornly silent. Luke didn't look up as he continued.

"I helped you lay the foundation on which Snoke built his empire. I taught you to fear the dark side and yet I drove you straight toward it with my actions. When it really mattered- when the fate of my own nephew was at stake- I was weak and I let my fear control me. My mistake has cost you everything. I failed you, Ben. I'm sorry."

Ben felt his jaw tighten.

"I'm sure you are," he said, voice hard and cold.

Luke's hand had stilled on Rey's head.

"There is a chance for her," he said. "There's still a spark, though it's buried deep. It won't be easy for her, but she may still turn back to the light."

"And who but Vader has ever returned?" Ben spat out. "I'm not a fool, Uncle. I know the cost."

"She was in tune with the light side from her first awakening. I cannot believe she would abandon it so easily."

"Then you don't know the strength of the dark side," Ben muttered. "It consumes all."

Luke's face went stern.

"I know its strength as well as you do. Better, because I resisted its seduction."

"So, you think I'm weak, is that it?" Ben snapped.

"No," Luke said, shaking his head. "You've always been powerful in the Force, but you didn't even try to resist the call of the dark side."

Ben glowered at him.

"Leave," he growled. "I don't want you here."

Luke drew away from Rey's still figure. He paused, looking from the saber that still glowed red in Ben's hands to the scar that crossed the right side of his face from forehead to chin.

"I was wrong about one more thing, Ben."

"And what's that?" Ben asked sarcastically.

Luke glanced back at Rey.

"I taught you to avoid attachments- to avoid love and the comfort of family."

"You told me that love led to fear and fear to the dark side."

"And I was wrong," repeated Luke. "Fear and love in and of themselves do not lead to the dark side. It is only when we refuse to let go of those we love in our fear that we draw close to the dark side. It is a selfish love- an inability to surrender those held most dear to the designs of something greater than yourself. When you cannot trust; that is the moment you are lost to the light. I taught you as a child to have faith, and I ask you now to remember that lesson. For your sake and hers, let in the light."

And with that, Luke vanished.

Ben stood frozen, staring into the empty air where his uncle had been standing. His lightsaber slipped from his nerveless fingers and clattered to the floor, the blade disappearing with a sharp buzz. Ben sank back into his chair, not sure what he should do. He hadn't seen Luke in over a decade and now he'd just decided to appear. Ben shivered, fighting to put the memories back where he'd managed to keep them in the years since the night of his betrayal. Shame and self-disgust plagued him, drowning the fire of his fury and leaving him hollow, only to be filled with Rey's loneliness and fear.

Seeing Luke reminded him again of his parents. Ben clutched at his head, desperate to get rid of the picture of his father falling into the abyss below his feet that played and replayed in his mind's eye. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying not to remember the pool of his mother's blood or the jagged shard of metal jutting from her broken body. It was all his fault. He wished Rey was awake. Anything would be better than being alone with himself in the darkness and silence.

...

It was four days before his desperate pleas for Rey's return were answered. Four days and nights in which Ben did not sleep or eat. Dark thoughts swirled in his mind and nightmares waited for him if he closed his eyes. When he wasn't watching Rey, he attended to his duties on the ship with one ear always cocked for news that might help him find Snoke. There was nothing but silence. His patience, already short from anxiety, drew closer to nonexistent with the lack of sleep.

"Hux," he muttered, rubbing his gritty eyes after his fourth night of pacing, "Get to the point. You've called all of us for this meeting and you have yet to say anything of importance."

Hux gave him a withering look.

"Spending too much time with your apprentice, Supreme Leader?" he asked.

Ben caught the drift and swore vehemently at the red haired general. Several of the younger officers turned his way and stared, surprised at the outburst, but the older ones knew better and kept their eyes on their holopads. Hux gave him a triumphant smile.

"As I was about to say," he continued, "we've picked up transmissions coming from a tiny settlement in the middle of nowhere called Niima outpost. Intel suggests that there is a Resistance presence in the area."

"Niima outpost?" muttered one of the young officers, looking at the rotating hologram of Jakku. "Why there?"

"It's small," Ben said, "and even though it's got the closest thing resembling a communications grid on the planet, it's isolated. They can keep out of sight there. It took us this long to find them, didn't it?"

"Locals reported activity in the area just a few hours ago," said Hux. "Fighters. Bombers. Ammunition. The Resistance is alive and well, as we all suspected. This will be the first of the remnants we must wipe from the galaxy."

"When?" asked a vice admiral sitting on Hux's right.

"My troops will be in place by tomorrow morning. I expect to need at least part of the fleet for fueling and weaponry stores."

"You'll have our full cooperation," said the vice admiral.

"Excellent," Hux said, waving a hand to dismiss them. "I'll expect your reports in three hours. The transports will leave in ten, and I expect the supply ships to be in place two hours before that."

The vice admiral nodded, and he and the other officers quickly got to their feet and left the room, some already barking orders into comms. Ben stood to take his leave with them when Hux's sly voice stopped him in his tracks.

"And what about you, Supreme Leader?"

Ben scowled.

"My apprentice isn't ready."

"Then you'll go alone. May I remind you that you volunteered, Supreme Leader, and as loth as I am to say it, we'll need your skills on this venture."

"She would be an asset- she knows this planet better than any of us. Besides, my bargain was I would go only if Rey goes with me."

"Then, by all means, bring her along. I'm sure trial by fire is a viable training opportunity."

"A few days are all I need to prepare her. This cannot wait?"

"You know they'll be gone if we delay. The hand of the First Order must prevail. Would you turn traitor for a woman, Ren? A scavenger?"

"I am no traitor," Ben said, fighting to keep his voice from shaking in his anger. "But if you are such a fool that you blind yourself to the fact that she is the best resource we have, then nothing I say will convince you."

Hux stood with a jerk, back straight, expression murderous.

"I will not stay this attack," he hissed, eyes fixed on Ben. "And if you are not in the front, as you promised, so help me, I will find a way to eliminate this confliction of loyalties."

A chill went down Ben's spine.

"I am not conflicted," Ben shot back. "As I have said time and again, my loyalties lie solely with the First Order."

"Your attachment to the scavenger suggests otherwise."

"She's stronger than you, Hux," Ben snarled, warning in his voice against the thinly veiled threat. "You would be dead before you could get close."

A slow, deadly smile creased Hux's face and Ben reached for the Force, his fingers beginning to curve inwards.

"There are ways to level the playing field," Hux said, throwing a meaningful glance at Ben's hands. "And I would advise you not to try anything. You and I both know that she's helpless right now."

Ben felt the blood leave his face. A desperation to return to Rey's side seized him, but he forced himself to remain still. Hux took a step closer until he was staring straight into Ben's eyes, the sickly smile still on his face.

"We all have a weak spot, Ren," he whispered. "And I know exactly where yours is."

It took every ounce of self-restraint Ben had to keep himself from striking Hux. Jaw working, he spun on his heel and slipped from the room before the general could say another word. He strode purposefully for Rey's quarters, in dread of what he could find. His heart skipped several beats as the door opened to reveal the apartment beyond. Rey had disappeared. The place where she had been sitting was vacant, and the bits and pieces of scrap metal that had remained strewn around her had vanished too. Ben's hands began to shake.

"Rey?"

There was no answer.

He swept through the rooms, searching each briefly for any sign of Rey. She was nowhere to be found. For a moment, Ben started to panic. He fought it back and covered his face with his trembling hands, trying to settle himself enough to concentrate and figure out where she'd gone. His mind wouldn't cooperate with him. He was almost too tired to see straight, let alone think. In his desperation, his instincts took over and he stretched for the Force. To his relief, he could sense her presence, though it didn't feel quite like he remembered. She was somewhere close. He followed the gentle pull to the door of a training room and slid through the darkened doorway.

He should have known.

Rey stood alone in the middle of the floor, her back to him. He could tell at a glance that something was different. Her spine was stiff, and she held her chin high. She seemed somehow taller. Fiercer. She felt strange in the Force, as if she wasn't quite the same person he'd known before.

As he watched, Rey's fingers tightened on the shining hilt she clutched and twin blades sprang from the weapon. He took an instinctive step back. They were red. Red as his own blade. Red as blood. He sensed a cold darkness gathering around her, growing in strength. She stood there, feet braced, arms straight at her sides, head thrown back and body tense as if in pain. And she screamed.

The hair on his neck stood straight. It was a cry full of rage and an unknowable agony- so like to the one she'd let out under the torturous power of Snoke's mind that he instinctively shrank away. Her emotions swept through the bond toward him, washing over him in a wave. There were years of anger there: anger at her parents for leaving her, anger at the injustices she'd suffered at the hands of others, anger at Luke for his betrayal. There was loneliness- that old, familiar loneliness that had been closer to him than his own skin for longer than he could remember. And there was fear. Fear so dark and dreadful that he staggered another step back. It was like an echo of his own terror- of the nightmares that stalked him when he slept, or the constant watchfulness that had kept him on his feet and wide awake for days on end when Snoke had been his master.

It was a relief when Rey stopped screaming, but it seemed to have released something inside her. She darted forward and swung her staff at the empty air with a furious yell. Ben watched in silence as she thrust and parried invisible strokes, whirling about as if she were surrounded. Her feet wove intricate patterns as she moved with the grace of a dancer. There was a new power in her movements, the shadow of which he'd only seen when he'd battled her with a staff. Unlike a lightsaber, she was utterly at ease with the saberstaff, leaping high and swinging it wide in glowing arches of light. It was beautiful and awe-inspiring, but his heart twisted when he caught glimpses of her face as she battled her imagined foes. Her teeth were bared in a terrible grimace and her eyes were fear filled and wild. She was awake, but her mind was far away.

Ben reached for his saber and strode forward, igniting the blade as he drew close to her. Her back was to him again and he reached out to grip her shoulder before jumping back, knowing full well how she would react to being startled. Rey spun on him, saberstaff at the ready. This close, Ben was amazed to find that the blades weren't entirely red. As he stared at them, he noticed the faintest color emanating from the depths of the blade. Gold. At the very core of the saber was a spark. In the roiling chaos of fear and anger and darkness, Ben saw what Luke had sworn existed. Rey's spark.

She took a wary step toward him, staring up into his face as though she didn't recognize him. Slowly, carefully so as not to frighten her, he reached out a hand and took her arm. She blinked and shook her head, seeming to try to clear it.

"Rey," he whispered, "Come back to me."

"Ben?" came her faint voice.

"Right here."

The lightsaber's blades extinguished and the red light that had been reflected in her face vanished. For the first time, he could see how deathly pale she was, and the deep purple shadows under her eyes. There were tears on her cheeks. He cradled her face, gently brushing his thumb over her skin. How he'd missed her. Her eyes were mercifully brown and beautiful, and he didn't even try to fight the impulse to lean in and kiss her. She kissed him back, desperately, tears falling faster as her arms twined around his neck.

"I thought I'd dreamed it all," she said in a hoarse whisper. "I thought I was going to wake up on Jakku alone again."

Ben shook his head and pressed a kiss into her hair, inhaling deeply.

"I missed you," he murmured, pulling her tighter to himself.

She wrapped her arms around his waist and nestled her head against his neck. He ran his fingers through the hair that had come loose and hung down her back. They rested there for several minutes, each quiet in the warmth of the arms of the other. In spite of the darkness surrounding them, it was a moment that felt almost like peace. Then everything rushed back and he remembered his meeting with Hux.

"Rey?"

"Mmm?"

"They found another pocket of the Resistance. We're going dirtside tomorrow."

She drew away, brow furrowed.

"What?"

"Hux plans to attack tomorrow. We'll be at the front."

Rey let out a long sigh and let her head droop until her forehead pressed against his chest.

"What planet?" she asked, resignation in her voice.

"Jakku. Niima outpost."

"Niima outpost," she repeated, thumb moving to cover the activation switch on her saber hilt. "I can't go back there, Ben. I can't."

"Then I'll go alone, like I was going to if you hadn't woken up. It's alright. You don't have to go."

Rey shook her head.

"I won't let you go by yourself either. Why not let Hux handle this one?" she asked, a shiver running through her. "Why does it have to be us?"

"Because he looked me in the eyes and all but made an outright threat on your life unless I, at least, went."

She started and looked up at him.

"He can't be serious," she said. "I could kill him without even touching him. I would have if you hadn't stopped me. Does he forget so easily?"

"He doesn't forget," Ben said. "But it wouldn't be impossible for him to kill you. There are things scattered all over the galaxy that could weaken you or sever you from the Force, if only for a short time. That's all he would need."

Rey was silent for a long time before she gave a little shudder and the fight seemed to drain out of her.

"We're never going to be able to rest until they're dead, are we?" she asked. "Both Snoke and Hux."

"No."

She sighed before managing to give him a small, sad smile and igniting her saberstaff. The red light shone out again, casting eerie shadows across her face.

"Spar?" she asked, turning from him. "We'll both need the practice for tomorrow."

Ben ignored the question and reached out, gripping her arm to turn her back toward him.

"Together, Rey. Alright?" he said. "We go into this together."

Rey didn't reply, but there were grateful tears in her eyes when she turned away again.


	27. Chapter 27: Ben

A/N: Hi all! Hope you're all doing well!

After this week's post, I'll be going back to bi-weekly updates for a while. Unfortunately, the ol' writer's block is back and it brought friends so things are going a bit more slowly than I would like. Hopefully things will pick up before too long *crosses fingers, toes, and eyes*. Thanks again to everyone who favorited/followed/reviewed and thanks to my beta Leona2016- you've been such an encouragement and an amazing help with everything! You rock:)

Hope you all enjoy this chapter! Let me know what you think- I always love to hear your opinions!

Take care until next time!

* * *

The transport ship rocked as it entered Jakku's atmosphere and Ben felt his shoulders knock first against Rey's and then stormtrooper Captain Tal's on his left. Light flickered on the white plastoid armor of the company of stormtroopers that seemed to enclose them on all sides. They would be the first to see the world outside the hull of the transport ship and the first into any fire that might await them. Ben tested the Force around him, drawing on it to shield himself. Rey had already erected a strong wall, her anger feeding it until it had become almost tangible to Ben as he stood at her side. She held herself completely still, back straight and face lined with tension, hardly seeming to breathe.

Ben couldn't help the rush of adrenaline as they neared the surface of the planet, its nauseating excitement so familiar after countless battles. It made him restless. The vague disquiet he sensed from Rey only served to compound it. His fingers tapped against the hilt of his lightsaber, poised to snatch it from his belt and spring to the offensive. Memories of a similar expedition to Jakku, almost identical to the one in which he found himself, flickered through his thoughts. He tried to push them away. Tried to forget the night he'd killed in Snoke's name as his slave.

He was blinking away the memories when the transport juddered to a stop, its thrusters slowing the ship's momentum. It settled to the sand and the door hissed open. Ben darted out into the open, saber lit in his hands, and Rey at his heels. The stormtroopers spilled out behind them into the half-light of early morning, weapons raised as they formed a half circle around the spacecraft. There was a rush of dust and Ben felt the sting of sand against the back of his neck as the thrusters picked up again and the ship took off.

"Your orders, Supreme Leader?" asked Captain Tal.

"Search it," he said, nodding to the small collection of ramshackle buildings and tents half a click away.

The captain raised his hand and motioned the other troops into a cautious advance. Ben was about to follow when he felt Rey's hand on his arm. She stepped up beside him.

"They're not there," she whispered.

"How do you know?"

"I know this place inside and out," she said. "There's nothing here that wasn't here when I left. Nothing out of the ordinary. The kind of presence Hux was talking about would mean starships, vehicles and people. I don't see any of that here."

"Then we'll search and move on."

"No," Rey gave him a thin smile. "There's people who know things here, and there's a way to get the information. Give me a little time and I'll find out where the Resistance went."

"Rey-" Ben began.

Rey's smile grew until it was more like a fierce snarl than an expression of pleasure.

"If I have to be here, I might as well say hello to Plutt."

...

In the end, Rey's assertions that there was no one from the Resistance at Niima outpost turned out to be true. The stormtroopers had rounded up anyone they could find and forced them into the approximate middle of the scattered tents at blasterpoint. Ben watched it all with an uncomfortable sense of familiarity. It was almost exactly like the night he'd led troops into the village of Tuanul and a reminder of how much blood truly stained his hands. How long had it been since he'd participated in that terrible slaughter out of his own fear and desperate need to find the missing piece of a map to Luke Skywalker? He thought of Rey. Less than a year. Months. Only months since the night his world turned upside down in a way that could only be compared to the rolling of the _Silencer_ in pitched battle.

Rey hadn't stayed by his side, choosing instead to skulk about between the tents, sometimes disappearing into one or another for a moment before reappearing with an expression of distaste. Once or twice, he saw her pick something up, only to drop it again and absently stare about as if lost in a memory. His chest constricted a little as he watched her. She wore her sadness close, obscured by anger and fear, but he knew her too well for her to hide it from him. He could feel it as an undercurrent beneath the dark emotions swirling on her surface and he could see it flickering in her eyes.

As more and more people filed out of the tents, Rey drew closer, seeming to gravitate toward the activity. Her eyes swept the crowd, searching for the one that still haunted her dreams. Ben could see Unkar Plutt from where he stood, and he knew the second Rey caught sight of him. Every muscle in her body seemed to stiffen and a wave of her cold hatred slammed into his mind. She leapt forward, reaching for her saberstaff, eyes fixed on Plutt. Ben ran after her, catching her by the shoulders mid-step. Rey kicked and struggled against his grip, trying to free herself.

"Let me go," she grunted as she pushed against his arms. "He deserves to die."

"I thought you wanted him alive." he said in her ear. "Didn't you want to question him?"

Rey went limp, though her eyes still tracked every move Plutt made. Ben released her slowly, ready to make another grab for her if she tried to dart away.

"Do you think you can get the location of the Resistance out of him?" he asked, hoping to distract her attention.

Rey gave him a sharp nod.

"There's only three things creatures like him care about. They're greedy for money, power and their own lives. Their lusts lie in all that will build up their store of any of those things. Threaten one or all and they'll do anything to keep what they have. Jakku is a planet full of people like that."

She spat on the ground at her feet, disgust painting her features. Ben watched her fingering the hilt of the saberstaff again and sensed her deepening hatred. Her memories flickered behind his eyes, threatening to pull him into them with their strength. He blinked and shook his head, trying to clear it, but bits and pieces broke in anyway: Rey's small fingers cut and bleeding after picking through craft after craft for something useful, Rey's back bent under the heavy pack of tools and scavenged parts, Rey pleading with Plutt for an extra half portion to get her through the week, insisting that the salvage she'd brought back was worth as much as they both knew it was.

She stood with her feet braced, tense and eager to strike, breaths coming in short bursts, fists clenching and unclenching as she stared across at Plutt. Every last ounce of her self-restraint was battling back the dark rage that grew inside her. She was desperately trying to maintain control and she was losing ground.

 _Easy, Rey,_ he whispered in his mind.

She flinched and her hand found the cloth bracelet at her wrist, twisting it around and around until the skin beneath started to redden. Ben reached across and wrapped his hand around her arm, forcing her to stop.

"A few minutes and he's yours to question, alright? Take a breath."

Rey obeyed, pulling a long slow breath through her nose. Ben noticed her shoulders relax a fraction and her body lose some of its stiffness as she purposely averted her eyes from the big Crolute. In contrast, Ben stared at the creature, feeling his own anger rising. His rage mirrored Rey's; so alike that he could not distinguish between the two. The longer he took in the sneering visage of Unkar Plutt, the more loathing filled him until he had to force himself to keep still and not stride forward himself to strike Plutt down with one thrust of his lightsaber. That was for Rey to decide. It was her history. Her tormentor. Her choice.

The stormtroopers finished lining up the crowd and motioned to Ben that they were ready. Ben saw Rey tense again and her eyes went immediately to Plutt. Ben nodded.

"He's all yours," he said.

Rey's saberstaff burst to life at her side and she cut through the distance between their vantage point and the crowd in several quick strides. Her anger was as cold and biting as ice and the shards of it sliced painfully into his mind, severing thought from feeling. He had the immediate sense that, somewhere in her mind, Rey had thrown a switch. In the space of an inhalation, she had become capable of killing another without conscious thought. Without remorse. She had become as he had feared. She'd touched that dark place within herself- the one like the cavern he feared to enter in his own being- and had been consumed by it. Whether she still possessed her spark, as Luke said, he did not know.

"Him," Rey shouted, gesturing at Plutt.

Two stormtroopers ran forward, one to each side of the Crolute and forced him to step out of the crowd at blasterpoint. Unkar Plutt's eyes widened as he drew close enough to get a good look at Rey. Recognition mingled with terror flooded over his face.

"Rey?"

"Hello Plutt," Rey said through her teeth, edging her saberstaff closer.

The Crolute swallowed and tried a small smile. The expression seemed out of place, as though his muscles were unused to forming it.

"I haven't seen you for a while, my girl," he said, speaking as if encountering Rey at his supply stand on any normal day. "To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit here?"

Rey's face spasmed.

"Do _not_ call me that," she said. "I'm not yours. I never was."

"You parents sold you to me," Plutt said. "I own you."

Rey movement was as quick as thought and Unkar Plutt's eyes widened further as he found the blade of her saberstaff less than an inch from his throat.

"I paid back any debt you could claim years ago." Rey snarled. "Now I want information. Everyone here knows that you're the man who buys and sells it, so let's do a little business."

"What information are you interested in?"

"The Resistance. We know they were here. Where are they?"

Plutt chuckled nervously.

"Why would I know anything about the Resistance?" he asked. "There's no profit in getting involved with a group that's being hunted down by the First Order."

Rey's saber edged a fraction of an inch closer to the pale flesh of Unkar Plutt's neck.

"We both know that's a lie," she hissed. "Tell me."

Unkar Plutt's expression flickered, eyes taking on a greedy glint as he looked over Rey's shoulder to Ben.

"I may have heard something," Plutt said slyly. "But you know I don't trade for nothing. What do you have to offer?"

Rey took a step closer, letting the blade of her saberstaff rest, ever so gently, against his neck. Plutt howled and cursed in pain as the skin sizzled and burned.

"Your life," she said, a deadly smile creeping over her face. "Take it or leave it."

Plutt seemed to struggle with himself for a moment, trying to flinch away from the threat of the saberstaff. Rey kept it close, allowing it to dip forward to leave dark burns across the Crolute's pale flesh.

"The Graveyard of Giants!" Plutt finally gasped out. "They were going to the Graveyard of Giants."

Rey withdrew the saber.

"There," she smirked. "Was that so hard?"

Plutt stumbled back and away from her, cringing and rubbing his throat. Rey turned from him with a victorious grin on her face. Ben felt her bitter satisfaction and the fierce pride that lifted her chin in an almost regal posture. She looked like an empress.

"You're mad!" Plutt shouted at her back, voice snapping the silence that had fallen around them. "Mad! You always were: dreaming your family would come back for you. As if anyone would want a scrawny little skittermouse like y-"

The words cut off in a sharp exhalation as Rey spun the staff in her hands, deactivated one blade and drove the other deep between Plutt's ribs. Snarling like an animal as she drew on the Force, she stretched out a hand and brought Plutt to his knees. There were shrill cries of fear from the crowd behind as Rey pressed her weight against her weapon, driving it deeper. She leaned in close to speak only with the helpless creature on the end of her staff, but her furious whisper seemed to reverberate in Ben's ears.

"I am not your slave anymore," she rasped, "and you will not speak to me as if I were. Not now. Not ever again."

Unkar Plutt's eyes roved over her face, stricken with terror and pain. Rey ripped her saber from his chest and they flickered for a moment before the light in them died and they went dark and blank as Plutt collapsed in a heap at Rey's feet. She turned and stalked past Ben, not seeming to notice that she'd just taken a life.

"You heard him," she said to no one in particular. "They're in the Graveyard of Giants."

Several of the stormtroopers turned blank plastoid masks to Ben, waiting for his orders. He nodded.

"Let's go. It's almost a full day's march west."

"I'll take you north from this outpost before we start west," said Rey. "If they're hiding where I think they are, an approach from the south will be faster and safer."

"Supreme Leader?" asked a trooper. "What about the prisoners?"

"Kill them," Rey answered for him, without turning her head. "They could warn the Resistance of our presence here."

The trooper waited until Ben dipped his chin in assent before giving the order to his troops. Ben tried to block out the noises of terror and dismay that were quickly drowned by the high barks of several dozen blasters discharging. It was easier not to listen. It had always been easier that way. But he could never fully suppress the feeling of a sudden emptiness in the Force. He could always sense them vanishing- sense the instant their presences were torn away.

Rey had turned and was watching the proceedings with a mixture of emotions twisting her face. Ben saw disgust and anger, but also a growing fear and regret. He felt the awful realization of what she had done sink in as an old woman with gray hair escaping a ratty old turban crumpled to the ground, her muscles giving one last spasm as death took hold.

"Ben," Rey whispered, eyes fixed on the body, voice little more than a breath. "What did I do?"

Ben took her by the arm and gently turned her around. Rey glanced over her shoulder, back to the corpses the troopers were beginning to drag into a pile for burning. She was shaking. He could feel her trembling under his fingers and felt her guilt as a weight in his chest. It was compounded by his own guilt. Everything he was sensing from her was so familiar that he might as well have been bonded to a younger version of himself. Rey was walking in his footprints, following the path he had taken without realizing what she was doing. He knew better. She was becoming more like him every day.

"Ben?" she pleaded, her voice almost breaking. "Say something. Please."

He edged her in front of him so she couldn't see the bodies when she looked over her shoulders.

"Don't look at them. It makes it worse."

...

Jakku's sun rose from the desert as they made their way across the sands that stretched beyond the horizon in every direction. The bright light beat down on their heads, turning skin red and sending sweat trickling down their necks. Ben's tunic stuck to his back, darkening to a deeper shade of black as he watched Rey struggling to tie her hair farther up her neck as she stumbled on ahead of him. She led them on without looking backward to make sure they were following, and Ben could feel the guilt still clinging to her in much the same way as her tunic clung, wet with sweat, across her shoulders.

As they marched, they came across various wrecks lying half buried. Ben thought he could make out several AT-ATs and x-wings scattered and gnarled, half eaten by creatures Rey called steelpeckers and nightwatcher worms, though it was difficult to tell exactly what they were from the remains. Rey didn't turn either to the right or the left, but kept on in a straight line, face turned from the sun. She didn't seem to be paying attention to much at all until an AT-AT in somewhat better condition than any of those they had seen appeared ahead of them in the sands. Rey's head snapped up and she took off over the sands at a full sprint. Ben gave a startled half shout and went after her as fast as he could. If it had been anywhere else, he would have outstripped her, but the sands of Jakku shifted under his feet and made it difficult for him to run. By the time he'd caught up, Rey was already inside the AT-AT.

"Rey?" he panted, ducking as he entered the machine. "What's going on?"

Rey ignored him. She stared around the space, seeming to take in everything. Ben glanced about as well, trying to shake the feeling that he somehow knew this place. Rey was trailing her fingers over a wall covered in silver markings: scratches someone had made in the metal until they covered several panels from floor to ceiling. Ben noticed that there were some so old that the metal had begun to rust over again, leaving the marks barely distinguishable from the orange-brown of the AT-AT's hull. His eyes roamed the room to rest on a little doll in an orange uniform and a withered flower in a tin cup. Rey walked over to it and gently touched one of the small petals. It cracked and broke, scattering in tiny pieces across the table.

"What is this place?" he asked, squinting and trying to decipher the snippets of memories drifting through his head.

"This was my home," Rey said softly, brushing her fingers against a stained helmet on which the symbol of the rebel alliance could still be deciphered.

And, as if her words had been the keys to unlock the door, Ben saw her memories clearly. He saw her making food, sweeping out the dust for the hundred thousandth time, washing her face in a tiny basin of already filthy water that was all she could spare from her rations. He saw her carving one more valley in the wall to mark the passing of another day without her family. They weren't pleasant memories and she wasn't remembering any of it with fondness. She wasn't homesick. She was mourning for the little girl that had made her home in a weapon of war- a child abandoned to her fate on a desolate planet to which her parents had never returned, despite her persistent, forlorn hopes. A child dreaming under the stars every night. She was saying goodbye- closing the door on who she had been.

"We should rest somewhere for the afternoon," Rey said as her eyes drifted over the relics of her past. "We can start again in the evening and march through the night. That'll get us there by dawn and we may have the advantage if they're not on the lookout."

"Think they will be?"

"I don't know. Probably."

"Then go in ready for a fight."

"You were expecting something else?"

They were interrupted as the head of a stormtrooper poked through the low doorway.

"Everything alright, Supreme Leader?" asked Captain Tal.

"Everything's fine," Ben said. "But there is a slight change in plans. We'll be resting here for the remainder of the day and resuming the journey at dusk."

The man took off his helmet, an expression of relief written plainly on his face.

"I'll inform the men."

He disappeared back through the entry port and Ben and Rey were alone again.

"Are you alright?" he asked her.

"I'm fine."

Ben took her hand.

"I know you're not. You can't hide that easily from me anymore."

Rey snorted and turned away, but he saw her anguish in the moment before she hid her face from him.

"Rey-"

"What?" she exploded. "What do you want me to say? I'm okay? I killed someone, Ben. I killed him and I didn't feel anything. I still don't feel anything. I ordered people shot and I didn't feel…I didn't feel…"

She trailed into quiet tears, shoulders jerking with the effort of trying to hold in her misery. Ben took a step closer and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her in until he could fold her against his chest. He didn't know what to say. There was nothing he _could_ say. Nothing could erase this.

"What's happening to me, Ben?" Rey whispered against his shoulder. "I'm turning into someone I don't know."

Ben sighed and rested his forehead against hers, closing his eyes.

"Believe me when I say that I wish I could fix this," he said. "I wish I could, but I can't. But I'll walk with you through it."

Rey tried to laugh, but it came out as a sob, and the tears ran faster down her cheeks.

"Then I guess I'm not alone, after all."


	28. Chapter 28: Rey

A/N: Hey everyone! Hope you all are doing well and staying healthy in these crazy days!

I know this chapter's a titch early, but I have to work Sunday and usually post on Saturday night (when I need to be sleeping) so here it is a day early! I hope you all enjoy it even though this is a heavier story. I keep tossing around an idea I have for a more lighthearted Modern AU, but I kind of feel like I need to finish this one first, but we'll see... *sighs* brain, why can't you give me these ideas one at a time?

Anyway, thank you to everyone who continues to read and review. I so appreciate your continued support and encouragement. Thanks as well to FenrisInside for being an absolutely fantastic sounding board and ideas man, and to Leona2016 for your friendship and encouragement (as well as your rad beta-ing skills). You all rock! :D

Take care of yourselves until next time and WASH YOUR FILTHY HANDS;)

 _Hartmannclan: (In regards to chapters 26 and 27) I'm sorry..._

* * *

Rey could not rest. She spent the afternoon pacing the length of the AT-AT and refusing Ben's urgings to go inside and rest in the shade. She knew he was worried about her, but she couldn't bear another moment in the ruins of her childhood. There were too many memories here. She had run to the AT-AT on instinct when they'd come across it, half buried in the sands. She'd wanted to go inside then. She'd thought that maybe it would close a door and that she could move on if she just saw what she'd left behind. It wasn't until she saw the marks on the wall that she realized it was a mistake. The memories of all the lonely moments of her life on Jakku piled up and swept over her like a wave, threatening to drown her in sorrow.

This place was a child's graveyard. She had grown up here, and it had shaped her to become someone that could kill in cold blood and order the deaths of innocents. No matter how hard she tried to forget, her traitorous thoughts kept drifting backwards to the moment when she'd allowed her anger to flood her with power.

She'd thought she was in control until Plutt shouted insults at her back. She'd thought that she could keep the darkness down deep inside her, chained and muzzled, well under her dominion. But it had come roaring out into the open with no warning, until she had surrendered to its strength and lost herself for minutes that she could not remember. Now she had killed and ordered the deaths of over a dozen more. There could be no returning from that. She could never see the world as she had once seen it: a child with a child's wide-eyed wonder. Hope had deserted her. Peace was not even a distant memory. There was only darkness now.

The weight of her guilt pressed down on her shoulders, heavy and suffocating, yet it kept her moving through her exhaustion. She forced down the memories of the terror-twisted faces and the still bodies, but the image of the old woman clung fast in her mind no matter what she did. Rey had known her-known her almost as long as she'd been on Jakku.

A hand on her shoulder interrupted her thoughts. She spun to find Ben holding out a ration cube and a bottle of water.

"Eat," he said. "Then we're going to talk."

"I don't need to talk. And I'm not hungry."

Ben ignored her, pressing the brown cube and the bottle into her hand before folding his long legs under himself and settling into the sand. Rey paced for another minute, absently taking a gulp of water from the bottle. Ben's presence started to tug at her, drawing her closer until she ceased pacing and stood still next to him without realizing she had done so. Ben's fingers found hers and he gently pulled her down so she was sitting beside him, head leaning against his shoulder. He glanced around for a moment to make sure no one was watching before he pressed a kiss into her hair.

They sat in silence while Rey wrestled with herself, willing herself not to tell him. Not to be a burden. But the words burst out of her anyway and, with them, her guilt.

"Her name was Hausis," she whispered.

"Who?"

"The old woman," Rey said, miserably. "The one I ordered killed along with the others. I knew her."

"I thought you might."

"She was a scavenger once, a long time ago, when I first came here. She showed me how to survive- all the best salvage spots, what you could find in the desert to eat when you didn't have enough food, the people you should avoid- that kind of thing."

Rey found that she couldn't look at Ben when she spoke. His eyes reminded her too much of Leia's and her insides squirmed with her guilt when she remembered the promise she'd made and failed to keep. She took a deep breath in a vain attempt to steady herself and plunged ahead.

"She watched out for me until I could look after myself. Kept some of Plutt's goons off, you know?"

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Ben nod. She swallowed back the threatening tears.

"I didn't see her today," she said. "Not until it was too late, anyway. Maybe if I had seen her it would have been different. Maybe I would be different. I don't know."

She slipped back into silence to stare out across the desert to the sun dipping low over the horizon. Beside her, Ben let out a long sigh, a deep remorse sending low notes rumbling through his song.

"I'm sorry, Rey," he said. "I'm the one you should be blaming for this, not yourself. I was the one who brought you to this."

Rey couldn't suppress a derisive snort.

"How did you come to that conclusion?" she asked.

"I'm the one that pushed you towards the Dark side. You sensed it through me. You fell because of me. It's my fault that you're suffering like you are, and I'm sorry."

His face showed his anguish, even if she hadn't felt it through the bond. She let out a laugh that didn't sound like a laugh. It was bitter and sharp, even to her own ears.

"You're giving yourself too much credit, Ben," she said. "I made myself who I am. You warned me away from the holocron. You told me to be careful, but I didn't listen. This is just one of many consequences. Don't blame yourself for my decisions."

"But if I had-"

"I wouldn't have listened to you," Rey cut him off with a sad smile. "You told me once that I don't know when to quit. Well, you're right. I don't. And this time I went too far. Luke was right about me. I run straight to the darkness."

"But he told me he was wrong," Ben said urgently.

"What?" Rey asked, incredulous. "What do you mean he told you?"

"Luke came to me when you were meditating. He thinks you can still go back. The light side won't let you go so easily as this."

Something in Rey leapt up at the possibility. Just as quickly, her guilt clutched at her and the emotion died. She shook her head, the fleeting sense of hope all but forgotten.

"The light side has abandoned me," she said. "And this time I won't wait like a little fool for it to come back and save me."

"Rey-" Ben started.

"Supreme Leader," came Captain Tal's voice as he strode out of the AT-AT into the last light of day. "We just received word from the _Finalizer_. The General is getting impatient. Perhaps it's time we continue on, sir?"

Ben got to his feet and reached down to help her up.

"Alright, Captain. Let's get a move on. Can't keep Armitage waiting, can we?"

Rey thought she saw the captain's lips quirk upward in the smallest of grins, but the expression vanished before she could be sure. He disappeared around the back of the AT-AT and she heard him bellowing for his troops to get on their feet and collect their gear. At her side, Ben's fingers found hers and gave a gentle squeeze before releasing her hand again to dangle empty at her side.

 _..._

They were back on the march as the last sliver of sun disappeared over the edge of the world. Rey stepped away from the AT-AT and did not look back as they began their journey toward the blinding red of a sunset fading rapidly to the blue of evening. The world went cold around them as they trudged onward toward the west. Rey shivered, reflecting bitterly that she'd forgotten just how miserable it could be on Jakku's exposed sands after the sun went down. She hadn't thought forgetting was possible, but after several months in a climate-controlled starship, the temperature extremes were coming as a nasty surprise.

Of course, the cold might also be coming from inside her. She never could tell exactly where the chill came from now that the darkness had infiltrated her heart and mind. The silver metal of her saber hilt glittered in the light of the stars stretching into eternity above her. Those same familiar stars that she knew as well as the lines of her own palms that now seemed so distant and cold.

She kept her saberstaff gripped in her right hand as she walked into the night, keeping a sharp eye out for the glowing red lenses of the nightwatcher worms and her ears open for the howls of a gnaw-jaw swarm. On the very edge of her hearing the crystals inside her saberstaff hummed quietly to her, a noise that both calmed and disquieted her in the hushed air of the midnight desert. She hadn't been able to shake the uneasiness that had dogged her steps since she'd ordered seventeen people killed. She'd counted. She knew exactly how many there were. She could see her hands running with their blood.

The farther they went, the harder she had to fight to keep her bitter memories at bay. This was familiar territory for her, in which every step she took was over ground she had traveled hundreds of times before. Even the dunes, in their endlessly shifting patterns, were known to her.

"How many clicks?" Ben asked quietly.

His voice startled Rey out of her whirling thoughts, bringing her sharply back to the present.

"What?"

"How many clicks before we're in the Graveyard of Giants?"

"About another ten until we hit the beginnings, but it stretches on for kilometers. I have an idea where they might be hiding, but I'm not certain. It could take us a day or more to search the place if they're not where I suspect they are."

"Where do you think they are?"

Rey sighed and rubbed her forehead, sorting through what she remembered of the debris ridden badlands that comprised the Graveyard. After years of picking through it for valuable tech and parts, she knew the place nearly as well as the AT-AT in which she'd lived. Before she could open her mouth to speak, Captain Tal sidled up next to them.

"Pardon the interruption, Supreme Leader, but do you have any idea where this group has positioned itself?" he asked. "We'll need to relay the information back to the _Finalizer_ for air support before we go in."

Ben nodded to Rey, giving her the go-ahead. She kept walking as she began to speak and did not turn back to look at them.

"There are ships scattered all over this desert," she said. "There was a battle here decades ago, several years before I was born, right at the end of the war between the Empire and the Rebels. A massive ship crashed on the surface and caught fire, turning the sand to glass for a kilometer in every direction. We call it the Crackle. Beyond that is the remains of the ship and beyond that is a great cluster of starships that fell and crashed, including a huge one called the _Ravager_. I think they're in that group of ships. There was still a lot of salvage there when I left, and I can't imagine it's changed much in the few months I've been away. It has cover, so it would be a good place to hole up, and they may find materials to fix their ships, or even cobble together some new ones."

Tal looked pensive.

"And would we be able to get close without being picked off?"

"I wouldn't do it without the TIEs," Rey said, shaking her head. "I can get you close enough for a good look at what's going on, but anything else is out until we have support."

"Then that's what we'll do," Ben said. "I didn't think we were going to get away with an attack without backup from Hux, but a man can hope."

From the corner of her eye, Rey caught Tal shooting Ben a furtive glance before quickly looking away again to watch the ground before his feet. She wondered if he, like Lita, had his own reservations about Hux, or if he had been sent to be the general's eyes and ears. She resolved to keep a closer eye on the man during their mission.

"And you estimate we'll be there by sunrise?" Tal asked.

"Yes."

"Then I'll alert the general."

"Do you know how many we'll be facing?" Rey asked, holding up a hand to stop him before he could slip away. "We were never told."

"The contact said several dozen x-wings and at least one large transport. We anticipate a maximum of a hundred and fifty."

"So we'll be about evenly matched?"

"We might be if we were under cover, but I'm afraid they have the advantage there."

The captain strode off to find the trooper he'd delegated to handle communications and Rey continued on again, boots shuffling in the sand, Ben at her side.

...

The twin moons of Jakku had risen and come to rest below the horizon, and the sky was just beginning to turn its dismal, early morning shade of gray, when Rey caught her first glimpse of the Crackle before them.

"There it is," she said, pointing to a great keel of a starship that jutted from the landscape in a spike nearly a kilometer high. "It's not far now."

"Better request those TIEs," Ben muttered to Tal, looking ahead. "I can't see anything we'd be able to use for cover."

"There's not," Rey said grimly, "But if we came the other way they could have easily surrounded us without being seen and picked us off one by one. This way we can at least know when we're about to be shot at and the TIEs will have room to maneuver."

"How are we going to get close?" Tal asked. "They'll be able to see us coming for a click or more."

Rey turned and squinted into the sun rising over the eastern horizon, watching it illuminate the sand before their feet.

"We'll be alright for a bit," she said. "Your white armor will blend in with the glare off the Crackle until the sun rises further. Ben and I will blend in until we hit sand again."

Tal didn't look convinced, but turned to his communications officer and gave him a nod.

"Send the signal."

Rey didn't wait for the response. She started forward down the sand dune, sliding for a few meters every couple of steps, until she was on the flat plain of black glass. It made a crackling sound beneath her boots as it broke into tiny shards. She heard Ben behind her and after him, the many feet of the stormtroopers.

They were halfway across the Crackle when Rey realized she'd miscalculated. It started with a shout from Ben and a shower of red plasma bolts. She startled out of her thoughts to see six x-wing fighters screaming toward her, dust rising in their wake.

"Rey! Cover!" Ben yelled over the sudden chaos, shoving Captain Tal aside and deflecting a plasma bolt away from a cluster of stormtroopers.

Rey immediately hauled on the Force, hand raised in front of her as a streak of red light blazed toward her. With a flick of her fingers, she sent it swerving off to her left where it hit an empty sand dune. Several troopers behind her had dropped to the ground, assembling weaponry with a speed she didn't know was possible as the others stayed upright, following the x-wings with their blasters, pulling shots whenever they got one in their sights. Rey saw a fighter wobble, smoke streaming from an engine, before it plunged to the surface and rolled, tearing apart, fire erupting from the wreckage.

One after another, the stormtroopers behind her got to their feet and strode forward, weapons that looked like great tubes perched on their shoulders. One lined up his sights on an attacking ship and squeezed a trigger. There was a roar and a rush of hot air and something sped past her at such close range that her hair lifted from her neck. The next moment, the x-wing burst apart in mid-air. Rey leapt backward as a piece of shrapnel hit the sand at her boots.

In the second of distraction, two stormtroopers fell at her side with holes burnt through their armor. Rey immediately turned her attention back to the x-wings as they banked and swept back toward them for another strafing run. Rey leapt into action, hands outstretched, and fingers splayed to meet them. Bursts of red light shot over the sand toward her, but the dark music that surrounded her told her where they would fall seconds before they struck. She stepped forward and, thrusting out her arms, sent the bolts into the ground at her left and right. The x-wing screamed low over her head, going into a steep climb to avoid the sand dunes behind her. In the momentary reprieve, Rey saw that the troopers had managed to bring down three of the remaining five starships.

Flames danced around her and thick black smoke rolled from the downed craft into the clear morning air. Rey coughed and looked up. Through the haze, she saw Ben running forward with his lightsaber drawn, heading farther into the Crackle. It took her a moment to tune to his thoughts and understand his intention in running straight for danger. The laser bolts had come too close to them to be an accident. The pilots were gunning for them.

She came to the same conclusion Ben had, only about five seconds after he did. They had to get away from the troopers until support from the TIEs arrived or risk the lives of their comrades.

"Stay low," she shouted to the troopers behind her. "We'll draw them off."

With that, Rey took off after Ben, splitting away after a few steps to run in the opposite direction. Sure enough, she heard the whine of the x-wing's engines rise to a shriek as the pilot throttled up and gave chase. The back of her neck prickled and she turned just in time to raise her arm and send several bolts of red fire spinning harmlessly away.

She ducked and fell to the sand as the starfighter roared over her head, skimming so close that she had to flatten herself to the ground. The moment it passed she was on her feet again to track it. She narrowed her eyes against the flying sand and watched as it turned and began to careen toward her once again, glittering like a jewel in the sun. She could hear the engines pitching upward to a scream that echoed the shrieking music running through her mind. The darkness woke again in her, rage and fear rushing back into place as if they'd never gone. Her senses jerked into a new stratum and a strange exhilaration sent a shudder through her.

As the x-wing shot toward her, dust cloud rising in its wake, Rey took off across the desert. Sand and shards of black glass sprayed around her feet, getting into her boots and biting into her skin. She let the pain raise a sense of irritation inside her, drawing on the emotion to feed her power. The starfighter roared over the plain, bearing down on her even as she ran. The prickling at the back of her neck grew stronger and she picked up her pace until she was sprinting faster than she'd ever run before. The darkness was singing to her, lending strength to muscles that should have faltered long before. But even with her speed, the x-wing was still gaining.

Rey sucked in a deep breath, focusing her mind on what she heard even as she ran. There was the rush of wind sweeping past her and over the sands so that they eddied around her feet every time she took a step. There was a sound of distant battle, and of Ben's shouts of warning. Above it all, she heard the scream of the starship as it skimmed low over the desert, headed straight for her. The world seemed to slow around her as the sounds wove themselves into the music of the Dark side.

Her muscles tensed as the starship drew closer at an ever-increasing pace. Every part of her tuned to the Force, drawing it closer and letting the cold darkness roll over her. Her thumb edged over the activation switch of the saberstaff and pressed it down. It ignited again in her hands, twin blades adding their eerie music to the cacophony that rang around her. She ran a few paces more and turned to face the ship that was almost upon her, heartbeat pounding in her ears. In that last impossible second, her mind snapped taut and she gathered herself and leapt.

It was like flying. Her back arched in a graceful curve as she threw herself backward over the wing of the oncoming ship, kicking her leg up so that she turned in mid-air. She could see the x-wing shoot past beneath her, the pilot craning his neck to follow her path with his mouth open in astonishment. To Rey, it seemed that she hung in the air for an impossibly long moment before tumbling back to the sand, feet striking the ground with a sharp pain as she landed in a crouch. An idea was already forming in her mind, even as the fighter banked and made straight for her for the second time in as many minutes.

She did not move. The x-wing barreled toward her, but she stayed frozen in place. In the second before it was on top of her, she fell backward to the ground, ignoring the stinging gashes the shards of glass left in her back, and extinguished a single blade of her saber. She clenched the hilt tight in her fists and braced it in the crook of her arm, point upward. The blade went home, its blood red light slicing effortlessly through the hull from nose to tail as the craft flew forward. For a moment all was heat and sparks and the sharp smell of molten metal mixed with the familiar scent of grease. And then it was over. Rey sat up, spinning to track the starfighter. The pilot seemed to be trying to push his ship into a climb, but the flames Rey saw licking around the wound in the metal shell told her she'd hit something vital. As she watched, the ship pitched, dipped, and plowed headlong into the sand, a small explosion throwing her back to her hands and knees as the reactor blew.

She didn't dwell on her victory for long. Ben's emotions were running high and they pulled her eyes away from the smoldering wreckage to seek him out through the air that was thick with dust and smoke. She was already running for him by the time she caught sight of him battling his x-wing. His hands were stretched before him and lightning leaped from them to the x-wing again and again, forming a shimmering web of blue light over the hull. It illuminated the roiling smoke around them so that it seemed they were surrounded by one of the violent storms of Ahch-To.

As she reached him, fire sparked in the engines of the x-wing and they died with the shriek of seizing gears. The starfighter nosed toward the ground, listing over on its side with Ben's lightning still arching over its metal skin. Rey turned to follow the craft as it careened over their heads and into a sand dune, the explosion rocking the ground under her feet. Beside her, Ben collapsed to his knees, eyes glazed and blood running freely from his nose with the last flickering sparks dying around his hands. He was breathing hard and, face drained of all color, he leaned over and retched violently into the sand.

In the distance, Rey heard the engines of several more aircraft. Panic gripped her when she realized Ben wasn't responding. She dropped to her knees in front of him, looking him dead in the eyes.

"Ben!" she called, seizing him by the shoulders. "Ben, there's more fighters on the way. Get up."

Ben blinked, but the distant look in his eyes remained. Fear constricted her chest, making it difficult to breathe. She gave him a little shake.

"Ben, I need your help. Come on."

Blood was running down his chin and dripping into the sand. Rey's anxiety started to climb as the sound of the engines grew louder. In desperation, she pressed her fingers against Ben's forehead and wrenched the Force around them.

 _BEN!_

His eyes flew open, clear and rid of the empty stare that had made him seem thousands of clicks away.

"What-" he started, brow knit in confusion as he reached a hand up to swipe at the blood still streaming from his nose.

"Not now," she said, "There's more x-wings on their way. We're going to have another fight on our hands."

Ben glanced down at the burned skin of his palms then closed his eyes. Rey heard the rumble of the dark side around them and a chill went through her. Ben's wounds knit together, pink scar tissue growing between the open edges of his blisters. The blood running from his nose slowed to a trickle, then stopped entirely. It was over in a matter of seconds, but the time was still lost.

The high whine of the Resistance engines was closer than ever and rapidly growing louder. Rey couldn't keep her eyes away from the sky above them, fingers gripped around her saberstaff and muscles tensing for the next fight. It was then that she caught another noise on the edge of her hearing. It was the same kind of sound, but several pitches higher than the x-wings. She gasped and turned just in time to see two dozen TIE fighters shoot over the sand dunes behind her.

"Ben, the TIEs!"

"It took them long enough," he grumbled.

He tried to stand, but his legs crumpled under him, sending him sprawling back to the ground. He pushed himself back to his hands and knees, but Rey saw the way his arms shook with the effort. She helped him kneel, then get slowly to his feet, letting him lean against her for support. Far away, the sound of starfighter fire began and she caught flashes of red and green light from across the plain.

"Come on," she said. "We've got to move."

Together, with Ben's arm slung over her shoulders, they began to long trek across the Crackle. Ben stumbled every few steps and she found her arms tensing automatically to give him support. The stormtroopers had gathered, forming a knot around them as they staggered on toward the battle. Rey's fear grew with every step. Ben was all but spent. She was still growing in her newfound abilities. How was she supposed to fight the Resistance alone?

Ben stumbled again on the uneven ground, and Rey's arms locked around his waist. He turned to her and tried to smile, but it didn't go much further than his blood covered mouth.

"Sorry," he muttered.

"It's alright," she said. "Let's just keep going."

As they walked, she sensed Ben drawing on his emotions. Dark memories drifted through the bond and stoked his anger. His legs grew steady under him and he ceased to lean against her. Before many minutes had passed, he was striding beside her without any sign of weakness. She didn't say anything, but she kept a close watch on him as they made their way after the TIE fighters, heading straight for the Resistance base and deeper into danger.


	29. Chapter 29: Rey

A/N: To quote Eugene Meltsner "Greetings and Salutations!"

Hope everybody is still doing well and not going completely stir crazy. (And also washing hands *fights an internal battle not to get up on my **soap** box*)

*snickers at own joke*

Well, I guess I lied about bi-weekly updates. Maybe just don't count on anything at this point? They may be weekly, they may be bi-weekly. It depends on how fast some future chapters are written and how motivated I am. This ones a smidge early, but I hope you enjoy it anyway. Y'all get to officially meet Tal and Sim this week! Thanks to everyone who continues to read/review/favorite/follow: you're all the best *grins like an idiot and waves*. Continued thanks to FenrisInside (the Great) and Leona2016 (the Stupendous) for all their help with everything and for their friendship. You both have and continue to be wonderful!

Praying that everyone is staying safe and healthy! Take care of yourselves until next time:)

 _FluffyFox: You're welcome! And thanks for the well-wishes:)_

 _Hartmannclan: Have you so little faith in our daring protagonists?;)_

* * *

"You'd think they'd be more willing to surrender after getting eight rounds of plasma bolts straight up their-"

"Tal! Concentrate!" Ben roared.

Rey ignored them both, her saberstaff clutched tight in both hands, eyes fixed on the wreckage of the _Ravager_. Blaster bolts rained down from high above where the Resistance had taken shelter among the many sublight thrusters lining the ship's stern. She was too busy deflecting the bolts into the sand and away from the troopers behind her to pay much attention to anything else.

"What are those pilots doing?" she shouted, sparing a glance up at the sky where she caught a glimpse of a TIE fighter darting past.

"Giving the Resistance a run for their money," Tal said, squeezing off several shots before ducking back behind the piece of a wing he was using for cover.

"Well, they'd better wrap it up," Rey said. "This'll be a slaughter without their help."

As though to emphasize her point, Ben threw out his hand and caught a blaster bolt in mid-air just before it hit a trooper square in the chest. The man leapt to the side and Ben released the blue light to disappear into the ground. The trooper nodded to him, then whipped his blaster up and picked off a Resistance fighter that had gotten a little too cocky and revealed himself while aiming a shot at Ben.

"We could use some help," Tal shouted into his wrist comm with his eyes following the TIEs fighting above them. "Six-two, I'm giving you ten seconds."

"They've got us a bit preoccupied, Captain."

"Well, find a way to get down here, we're taking a lot of fire."

"And we're not Captain?"

Despite the impudence of the pilot, Rey saw a TIE on her left go into a sudden climb with an x-wing on its tail. The TIE continued straight upwards for several seconds before Rey saw it edging over backward. With a blast of green light, it completed its rotation and began firing on the x-wing, tearing it to pieces as it fell back toward the ground. The fighter came out of the dive mere meters above the _Ravager_ and opened fire on the Resistance snipers. Rey saw several fall over the edge of the wreck, plummeting toward the sand hundreds of meters beneath, dead before they hit the ground. Above, on the mangled aft of the ship, she could just make out spatters of red and bodies torn and burnt by the bolts of green plasma.

The TIE buzzed them and Rey caught a glimpse of the pilot, wide grin on her face as she pumped her fists in victory. Her celebratory whoop came through the comm.

"How's that for help, sir?"

"Excellent work, Six-two. Well done."

"Anytime, Captain," Six-two said, flashing a thumbs up before banking in a sharp curve to pursue an x-wing as it tore past her.

"Path's clear. Move in," Tal said into his wrist comm. "You all know what to do."

The troops around them snapped into action and began to advance on the _Ravager_ with their weapons raised. Rey took up her position on Ben's right, staff drawn and both blades shining red. They slipped into the dreadnought behind the troopers. As soon as they entered the dim space, Rey sent out a tendril of her music to twine with that of the dark side until the murky shadows surrounding her seemed to peel back and she could see the way before her. They were in a long corridor leading deep into the ship's interior. The floor was covered in a thick layer of sand that muffled their footsteps and she could see evidence of steelpecker nests through holes they'd poked in the ceiling. She wondered how the Resistance had managed to clear them out. The creatures had killed Teng Malar, one of her fellow scavengers, and mutilated dozens more. A few in the Resistance probably had some wicked looking cuts.

Ahead of her, she could see a new corridor intersecting the path they were on. Ben reached forward and nudged Captain Tal's shoulder, pointing ahead. Tal nodded and signaled his troops to halt.

"Rey and I will go left and right. How many troopers can you spare?"

"Of my twenty? I can give you four each. Will that be enough?"

Rey glanced to Ben and nodded.

"Enough to fight in close quarters, but few to protect. We'll have a better chance of bringing them back alive."

"Your choice, Tal," Ben said. "Who do you want to send?"

Tal pointed to several soldiers and motioned them to stand at Rey's side, then did the same for Ben. Rey dipped her chin in a greeting as each took their place while she tried to remember their numbers. They didn't say anything, but Rey caught them watching her with the corner of her eyes. Tal turned back to the passage running straight ahead.

"Flush them out," he said over his shoulder. "Send updates when you get a chance on one of the wrist comms. They're short range but should come through clear. If we lose contact, get your troops out and back to the _Finalizer_."

"Will do. Keep us in the loop, Tal."

The Captain dipped his helmeted head in a slight bow before turning and pushing to the front of his troopers to lead the way down the hall. Rey made to turn to the right but stopped when Ben's callused hand caught her wrist. She stilled and turned back to him. Though his face was half-shadowed, she saw the worry and earnestness written plainly there. She prayed the stormtroopers at her back could not.

 _Be careful, Rey,_ said Ben's voice in her head.

 _You too. Watch your back._

Ben's fingers slid from her arm and he disappeared into the darkness of the side passage. She could still hear his presence in the Force, and she found her racing heart slowing to match the familiar rhythm of his music. For the briefest of moments, his song seemed to tug at something inside her as though to draw it closer to the surface. At the very edge of her hearing, she caught a faint trickling of strange notes before they vanished as suddenly as they'd come. Once more, there was only Ben's music and hers tangled together in the bond. Rey shook her head and worked her jaw, wondering if her ears were playing tricks on her. She listened harder but heard nothing out of the ordinary.

"Is everything alright, ma'am?" asked a small, distinctly female voice from inside one of the helmets.

Rey snapped back to reality.

"Yes," she said. "I was just thinking."

"Perhaps we should get a move on?" suggested a trooper on her right.

"Of course. Thank you trooper..."

"MN-0856, ma'am. Everyone just calls me Mynock."

"Why-" started Rey.

"His service time as a mechanic," piped up the female trooper with a laugh. "We've never had so many malfunctions."

"Never claimed to be any good," Mynock said with a shrug.

"And what's your ID?" Rey asked the woman.

"SI-9344. But just call me Sim, it's easier. Those two are BT-7788 and RP-9905. B-T and Ripper, respectively."

"Now that we've got intros out of the way, can we get a move on?" asked B-T.

"Keep it down, will you?" muttered Ripper. "This place is probably crawling with enemies."

"Shut up, both of you," Mynock said. "B-T's right. We need to move."

Rey shook her head at the quiet bickering as she started down the corridor ahead of the troopers. They trailed behind with their weapons raised, sweeping the hall with their sights. Rey didn't waste her energy. She could hear music ahead of her, all but ringing through the long-dead starship.

"They're just ahead," she hissed, motioning to a doorway that had been propped open with a twisted piece of metal.

Rey edged forward, already drawing on the Force to protect herself and those behind. She craned her neck until she could see into the room beyond. With a shower of red sparks, a blaster bolt struck the corridor wall right next to her ear. Rey retreated out of the line of fire, nearly stumbling against Sim. Rey felt the trooper's fingers close on her shoulder and pull her backwards.

"Two on the left, a group of five on the right," Rey whispered to her. "I saw a couple of blaster pistols and I'm pretty sure one of them had a sonic rifle."

"Then they must know you're with us. Those are best used against your kind."

"My kind?"

"Force users. But they're not fun for us either. We'll do our best to clear them out, but we'll need your help too."

"Just tell me what to do."

Sim gestured to the others, then toward the open door.

"We'll send in a smoke grenade, which should stir them up, then we'll move in. You can follow me if you want. Just be careful. They'll be taking blind shots."

"Right. I'm ready."

Rey gripped her saber and edged her thumb over the activation switch. Sim pointed to the door and nodded to B-T who shouldered a heavy looking weapon. There was a rushing noise and, half a second later, a small explosion that sent smoke billowing from the doorway. Rey heard coughing and shouts from the room before the troopers rushed past her, blasters raised and already firing. She darted after them, blinking away the smoke and drawing on the Force to clear her vision.

She'd taken only a few steps beyond the door when she had to bat away the first blaster bolt. She spun towards its source just in time to see someone ducking behind a pile of boxes and crates.

"You're going to have to do better than that," she muttered, striding forward.

She caught the man just as he stood up again with his blaster trained on Sim. For one half second, his face betrayed his surprise before it went dark and he slumped to the side. Rey pulled her saber free and turned to make sure the troopers were alright. She could barely make out their silhouettes through the smoke, but she could guess their positions from the flashes of blaster fire.

"You good Sim?" she called.

She never heard what the trooper shouted in return because, at that very moment, something hit her square in the back. Noise exploded in her ears, but it wasn't the music with which she was familiar. This was a raucous, confusing wave of sound that seemed to crowd her out of her own head, overwhelming synapses fine-tuned to the intricately delicate notes of the Force. Rey staggered, disoriented, unable to tell up from down. Her vision blurred and she clawed at her ringing ears, trying to find the Force. She couldn't concentrate. She couldn't sense anything.

"Rey, get down!"

The voice broke through the haze, but Rey couldn't seem to process the words. Her world had descended into chaos. She didn't even register the hand that gripped her shoulder and shoved her to the floor behind a crate just as a blaster bolt sliced through the air above her head.

Rey lay panting on the ground, the scattered sand rough against her cheek. The world spun around her and she closed her eyes, trying to focus on the breaths she pulled in and exhaled. Slowly, the world came back into focus and her ears emptied of the high shriek. The Force began to sing softly to her once again. Sim had a hand on her back, keeping her from getting up.

"What happened?" she asked as she raised her head.

"One of those cowards got in a shot with a sonic rifle," Sim said, poking her head above the crate and squeezing off a few shots before ducking back down. "They don't usually kill, but they'll send you barvy for a couple of minutes. Long enough to pick you off with a blaster, anyway."

"He shot me in the back," Rey said, anger working through her.

"Said he was a coward, didn't I?"

"How many are left?"

"Don't know exactly. You took care of one, I got two. Not sure how the others are doing."

There was a shout and a cry of pain from the other side of the crates and Rey tried to get up again. Sim held her down with a hand.

"They know what they're doing, give them time."

Rey shoved her hand away and sat up, peering over the boxes. The smoke was starting to drift away, clearing the air. She could see B-T kneeling behind a tangle of communications equipment, clutching his shoulder and swearing. There was another flash of red light and the noise of something heavy hitting the floor.

"All clear Sim," said Mynock. "That was the last."

"The piece of scum got in a shot before you finished him," said B-T between streams of profanity. "You couldn't have been ten seconds faster on the draw?"

"Oh, stop whining," muttered Ripper. "It's hardly more than a scratch. I didn't make this much noise when I was gut shot. I'll start worrying when your intestines are falling out."

B-T made a noise that echoed Rey's revulsion, but he got to his feet, wincing at the pain in his shoulder. Sim watched him get up, then clicked a button on her wrist comm and held it to her mouth.

"This is SI-9344. We've cleared a room in the port corridor. Seven enemy soldiers dead and one casualty on our side, non-fatal."

"Excellent, Sim," came the voice of Captain Tal through the comm, crackling slightly. "We've cleared several rooms along the main corridor and I just got word from 8553 that they're in the middle of a firefight in the hangar bay. I'm sending reinforcements now."

Rey felt her stomach squeeze with sudden anxiety for Ben. He would be in the thick of it, as he always was.

"Do you want us to turn back and help, sir?"

"No, make sure the port thoroughfare is clear, then come and find us. Keep me informed."

"Yes sir."

The comm clicked off and Sim turned to her men, eyeing B-T who was still swearing under his breath.

"Are you going to make it?" she asked, voice dripping sarcasm.

B-T let out a few choice words in her direction before she shut him up with a glare. He straightened and took his hand from the wound, allowing Ripper to douse his arm with an antiseptic and plaster it over with a bacta patch.

"That'll have to do for now," Sim said. "We've got a job to do. Get it looked at when we get back to the _Finalizer_."

B-T muttered something under his breath as she turned. Sim spun on her heel and marched back to him, coming as close to nose to nose as their helmets would allow.

"And _no whining_ ," she hissed.

B-T held up his hands in surrender.

"Alright, no whining."

"We'll get a closer look at the communications array when we come back," Sim said, glancing at the tangle of wires. "Now, let's move out."

...

They cleared two more rooms and searched innumerable others in the hours that followed. By the time Sim ordered them to return, Rey could feel her exhaustion as an ache deep in her bones. Her mind was weary, and she tried not to think about the way her saber hilt was dark with blood and how the smell of it clung to her like a reminder of her treachery. Instead, she turned her mind to Ben. Captain Tal reported that the First Order had been victorious in the battle against the Resistance in the hangar bay, but she still hadn't felt secure in his safety until he spoke to her through the bond, letting her know he was alright.

It took a long time for them to pick their way back through the ship to reach the communication center. By the time they reached it, the other groups had arrived as well. The rush of relief that swept through Rey when she saw Ben standing there, blood spattered and pale, was so strong that she took several steps toward him before she remembered that she couldn't rush to him and kiss him as she so desperately wanted. She staggered to a halt with her eyes locked on Ben's face. The corner of his mouth quirked upward in a smile that was only meant for her.

 _It's good to see you too, Rey. Are you alright?_

She gave him an almost imperceptible nod and turned to Sim, breaking his gaze. It was easier to bring her mind back under control when she wasn't looking into the eyes that reflected her desire.

"We ought to check the data banks for anything useful," she said to no one in particular. "They might have been in contact with other factions."

"Mynock, can you handle that?" Tal asked.

"You insult me, Commander," said the trooper with a grin as he started tapping at a keyboard, attention fixing solely on the screen before him.

"The ship is clear then, sir?" Sim asked.

"Yes. Most of them were topside and the TIEs took care of them. We were fortunate there wasn't a larger force inside, or things might have gone badly. If it weren't for you, Supreme Leader," he said, turning to Ben, "I doubt we would have taken her without much heavier losses. The hangar was a deathtrap from all my troops say."

"It wasn't the easiest battle I've been in, certainly," Ben said with a wry smile.

"Sir?"

"What is it Mynock?"

"Sir, you'd better take a look at this. You too, Supreme Leader. Rey."

Ben wormed his way through the tangle of equipment to stand behind Mynock. Rey took up her usual place at his right. Mynock glanced at them before tapping in several commands.

"It's only a partial recording," he said, apologetically. "I tried to find the rest of it, but it's either destroyed, or too badly damaged to retrieve."

"Just show us what you have," said Ben.

Mynock hit another button and a man's holographic image bloomed above the projector. It was only about a foot high, but the recorded voice was loud as the man spoke.

"Again, I ask for your help, leaders of the Resistance," said the hologram. "We are under threat from those that claim to wield this strange power. We must stomp it out before it overcomes us. First, we had Vader, then Kylo Ren and his apprentice. Those that command the Force must be destroyed. I ask only for your aid in this endeavor."

A growing chill filled Rey as the hologram jumped and fizzled into nothing. She knew that voice.

"It can't be," muttered Ben, staring at the empty air where the hologram had disappeared.

"It was," Rey breathed. "I know it was. Ben…Finn's _alive._ "

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A/N: *runs away screaming* SOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRR-YYYYYYYYYYYYY!


	30. Chapter 30: Rey

A/N: Howdy y'all! Hope everybody's staying healthy and not losing their minds as I am starting to...honestly I'm not sure if my room's ever been this clean and I've actually taken back my desk for *gasp* writing! (What do you _mean_ it's not supposed to be used for junk storage?) It's calving season on the farm though, so we've got a bunch of babies bouncing around the back pasture, which is hopefully a cheerful thought for everybody.

Life continues and the sun still rises every morning, and that, in the words of Gandalf the Grey, "is an encouraging thought". Keep your heads up everybody! Nothing lasts forever and maybe we'll come out on the backside a bit stronger for pushing through this hard time. To quote C.S. Lewis: "But courage, child: we are all between the paws of the true Aslan."

Thanks, as always, to Leona2016 and FenrisInside for putting up with my emails, questions, second guessings, and general frustrations. You both are the best! Thanks also to everyone who has followed/favorited/reviewed. You all are the reason I write. Thank you!

FluffyFox: Yeeeeep. *slightly maniacal chuckle*

Hartmannclan: Thank you so much for your kind review- it absolutely made my day! :D

* * *

Rey's soul had fallen silent within her. Betrayal was an old and bitter friend, yet it still scorched her as a living flame.

 _How could he?_

The thought kept circling through her head in an endless, monotonous chant. With her own ears, she had heard the voice of a friend, whom she'd thought dead, calling for her execution. She shouldn't have been surprised. She should have known her own betrayal would invite the same, but it had never occurred to her that Finn, the first true friend she'd ever made, would be the one who wanted revenge. It was still a struggle to wrap her mind around the fact that he was alive.

The flight back to the Finalizer seemed to take no time at all as her mind buzzed with new pain and new fears. The number of those wanting to kill Ben and herself grew by the day. How long could they last?

Ben's anxiety sat like a knot in her stomach, coiled tight and adding tension to muscles already aching with exhaustion. He had stayed close by her all the way back to the ship and she could feel the heat of his body, even now, as he pressed tight against her side, shielding her from the eyes of the troops. She could sense his thoughts on the outskirts of her own, just as loud and just as confusing.

 _What are we going to do, Ben?_ she whispered through the bond.

 _I don't know._

She felt his yearning to pull her against him, to at once comfort her and assuage his own terrible fears. The same longing burned in her, desperation for the certainty of another's touch in a world where nothing was certain. But the most they could do was clasp hands beneath Ben's cloak where they couldn't be seen. His fingers were her anchor as the ship's landing gear engaged and it gently touched down inside the hangar bay.

They followed the troopers out into the open, Rey only half listening to their celebratory chatter. Instead, she watched the TIEs returning through the open bay doors, losing speed as they swept low over the heads of those below before coming to rest in their designated places. The pilots leapt out, shedding gear and shouting to one another, laughing and cheering. It seemed strangely familiar, yet it took her several moments before she remembered where she'd seen something like it.

The Resistance. She'd seen the pilots in the Resistance do the same thing in the aftermath of the destruction of Starkiller Base. The expressions on the faces were the same, the relief and the fierce joy in their voices was the same. The Resistance and the First Order, it seemed, were made up of the same people. She looked about her, taking it in with eyes that gazed past it all and a mind that let the realization wash through it without an inkling of surprise. Had she always known the truth? Had she always known how easy it could be to become what she'd once hated? That what she'd hated had not been a faceless, nameless evil, but was instead an army made of people just like the ones beside whom she'd been proud to fight?

Rey was startled out of her thoughts as a hand found her shoulder and squeezed. She whirled about with a yelp and instinctively reached for her saber. Ben turned at her cry and his hand darted out to catch her forearm, pulling her behind him and out of the stranger's grip. Only then did she catch a glimpse of the person who'd grabbed her.

A woman in white trooper armor stood before them with a confused and frightened expression on her face. She took a step back, hands coming up in front of her to show she was unarmed, her helmet striking the ground at her side as it fell from beneath her arm.

"Beg pardon, Supreme Leader," she said. "Rey."

Rey's fear left her in a great breath as she recognized the voice.

"Sim," she gasped, "what in the stars do you think you're doing? Don't scare me like that."

"I just wanted to thank you," the trooper said, eyeing Ben's free hand where it still rested near his saber hilt. "I shouldn't have surprised you. I'm sorry."

"It's alright," Rey said. "We're both a little on edge."

"Why?" Sim asked. "Was it the message we found?"

Rey didn't reply, but her face must have betrayed her because Sim's brows drew together in a frown.

"And you believe he's a threat?" she asked. "What power does he have? The Resistance is all but finished."

Rey tried to give her a wry smile, but it seemed to strain every muscle in her face, and she let it fall away. Sim studied her for a moment.

"You fought beside him, didn't you?" she asked. "He was your friend."

"How did you-?" began Rey.

"I know who you are," Sim said with a gentle smile. Her eyes shifted to Ben. "And I know where your allegiance lay before you became the Supreme Leader's apprentice."

Rey suspected that Sim knew more than what she'd said, or that she guessed more. Ben sensed it too. She knew it the instant his anxiety shrilled in the Force and the hand he still had on her arm clutched harder, fingers digging into her skin. Sim tracked the movement, and her smile stretched a fraction of an inch wider, as if her suspicions had been confirmed.

"Trooper, if I find that your insinuations have been circulated, you'll find yourself marooned on a Force forsaken planet light years into the Unknown Region," Ben growled.

"Don't worry," Sim murmured back. "I don't spread rumors. But both of you would do well to be more careful. I'm not the only one who has eyes."

Abruptly, Ben's hand left Rey's arm. With his absence cold seemed to steal through her, the warmth of his hand bleeding out of her skin from where the ghost of his touch still lingered. An image of Hux's malicious grin flashed through her mind and she wasn't sure whether it was her own thought, or if it was Ben's. A shiver went down her spine and she clutched her arms tight against her chest.

"Relax, Rey," Sim said. "I'm an ally."

"Forgive me if that doesn't exactly put me at ease," Rey said. "I just got a death threat from someone I thought was my friend."

Sim gave her another smile, then leaned in a little closer, wrapping an arm around Rey's shoulders in a companionable gesture.

"Perhaps you will trust me if I tell you that we have a mutual friend on this ship," Sim muttered. "Several, in fact."

"What?" Rey asked, looking at her in surprise.

"Lita spoke with me," Sim muttered. "She was trailing Tal and I for days before she caught us in a corner grumbling about Hux."

"Tal?" Ben asked.

Sim chuckled.

"He thought we were dead when Lita caught us. Had her at blaster point before she could speak. She's lucky she's a fast talker."

Rey waited for Sim to continue, knowing that there was more to the woman's story than what she'd yet told. A moment later, Sim proved her right.

"Tal is a great ally, Supreme Leader," she murmured. "I think you already know it. I know him, and you can trust me when I say that he would die if it meant Hux did too. The general all but put him through torture as a recruit and Tal's been holding a grudge against him for years."

"I didn't know-" Ben said, voice startled as it trailed into silence.

Sim stared at him for a long moment before she at last said, "We couldn't trust you before. You were just as much an enemy then as Hux is now."

"And now what are we?" Rey asked.

"I'll let time be the judge of that," Sim said with another of her faint smiles. "There is, perhaps, always hope."

And with that, she turned and walked away.

Rey stared after the trooper, not sure what to make of her speech. She could feel hope flaring up in Ben like a flame. Rey didn't know what to think. Part of her wanted to cling to his optimism and take it as her own, but another part of her- the injured, betrayed part of her- told her that it was foolish to trust Sim. What would happen if they trusted her and she, too, turned on them? It would be infinitely worse than Finn's betrayal, because it would spell doom for both herself and Ben. All it would take would be one loose tongue and she would have to watch Ben die before her own life was torn from her. Was she willing to take that chance? Was Ben?

They walked together in silence toward the bridge, falling in with a small group of men and women whose black uniforms bore the silvery gray arm bands that signified their rank as officers. A muscle in Rey's neck immediately knotted with tension. After nearly a full day in the easy company of the troopers, the stern, unyielding expressions on the faces of the officers made her mind buzz with anxiety.

On instinct, she reached for Ben through the bond. His music met hers with the familiar tangle of melodies to which she'd grown accustomed and, for the second time that day, she felt the joining resonate inside her to draw strange notes into her awareness. Ben seemed to sense it too, and his brows drew together in confusion for a brief moment before he could smooth it away.

 _Did you-_ he started to ask, then stopped, lifting a shoulder in a half shrug.

Rey thought about asking him what he'd felt but decided against it when she saw the doors to the bridge standing open at the end of the corridor. Anger and fear in turn rolled through her and she balked at the doorway, legs starting to shake beneath her. The last time she'd been on the bridge, she'd almost killed. Now she was returning a murderer. What if she couldn't keep back the fury that was even now building inside her?

 _It'll be alright, Rey._

Rey took a deep breath, trying to focus on Ben's voice inside her head instead of the fear coursing through her veins like blood. It wasn't easy, especially when they passed through the bridge and into a conference room on the far side to find a crowd of black clad officers surrounding a table. Rey's eyes were drawn instantly to a figure in dusty white armor, helmet tucked beneath an arm.

Tal stood rigid under the scrutiny of his superiors, answering questions Rey couldn't discern from the general noise surrounding them. His stiff expression was foreign to her, utterly different from the one she'd seem when she and Ben fought at his side. He seemed to have become a different person in the short period of time since she'd last seen him.

Rey started to fidget with the bracelet at her wrist, twisting it around until the skin started to burn. The movement attracted the attention of several of the officers, who turned to eye her. Her fingers stilled on the cloth band and she glared back at them, trying to hide her bone-deep exhaustion beneath her anger. Neither she nor Ben could afford to show weakness now. Not in front of a dozen and a half of the First Order's highest-ranking officers. She could not be weak while Hux stood at the head of the table with Phasma at his side.

Tal was watching them with eyes that swept the room continually. Rey couldn't help but remember Sim's words as she stared back at the stormtrooper Captain, searching for any sign that he might turn to their cause. There was none. He did not even seem to recognize them.

After a few minutes, he fell silent and moved off to a corner where he continued to scan the room. Hux pored over his datapad for another minute, speaking in a low tone with his officer, before he finally looked up and acknowledged Ben's presence on the bridge.

"Supreme Leader."

"General Hux. I see you've taken down the Captain's report."

"I have, sir, and I must say I'm not pleased."

 _You're never pleased, Hux._ Rey heard Ben whisper in her head, but aloud he said:

"And what would you have had us do?"

"I wouldn't have you listen to the word of a scrawny little scavenger, who has past ties to the very enemy we are trying to defeat. She led our troops into a trap. The x-wing attack while they were trapped in the open was not something we'd anticipated or prepared for. We lost men because of her faulty information."

"Perhaps we lost men because of your poor planning," Ben said. "Rey saved lives today. She cannot be held responsible for failing to give information which she did not have."

Hux went purple with suppressed fury.

"And how are we to know she didn't sell us out?" Hux snapped. "How do you know she won't turn on you?"

Ben crossed his arms, his face a mask of stone.

"Still beating that drum, are you?" he said, quietly. "I thought we'd agreed that it was enough that I trust her."

Rey bit her tongue, struggling not to let her irritation at being ignored grow into something worse. Control. She had to control it.

"And on what do you base your trust?" Hux hissed through clenched teeth. "Her claims that she is loyal to you, or because you intend to build a dynasty through her?"

Rey's temper snapped. Her saber flashed red and the dark side of the Force encircled her with its low, seductive music, tempting her to give in once again and kill as she took a step out from behind Ben.

"Say it again," she growled. "Say it again, Hux. Better get all your accusations out in the open now, before I kill you. I have a few of my own."

Hux staggered backward and away from her, hand lifting toward his throat that was still a sickly green-yellow with healing bruises. Before she could advance on the man, there was a familiar prickle along her spine, and she spun just in time. Her saber sliced through the muzzle of the blaster just as the officer holding it leveled it at her head. Rey bared her teeth like an animal and took a step forward, lightsaber already raised to the man's throat.

Ben's hand closed around her arm before she could strike, pushing it downwards so the end of the blade pointed toward the floor.

 _We need them, Rey,_ His voice whispered in her thoughts _. We can't keep the Resistance away from the younglings without the troopers. Don't make enemies here. Not now._

Rey froze at the expression in his dark eyes, fighting back the anger and the urge to kill that struggled to grow inside her. It wasn't his voice so much as the memory of bodies lying in the red stained sands of Jakku that finally broke through the music pulling her deeper into itself. She gazed about, half in a dream and half out, taking in the stunned faces of the other officers and the reddened, infuriated face of the one who had tried to kill her.

"Is this an example of the control you wield as Supreme Leader, Ren?" spluttered the man, gesturing toward her with the smoldering remains of his blaster.

Ben glared at the officer, scrutinizing the man through narrowed eyes.

"I don't control her," he said. "But if what you just said was meant to question my authority, then I suggest that you remember what I have done and what I can do. As you can see, I've trained my apprentice to be able to do the same. Be a little wiser when you choose your words, Admiral. They betray you."

The man backed up a step as he lowered the ruined blaster, fear and hatred twisting his expression. Ben stood tall above her, glare finding each man in turn. Most dropped their eyes to the floor after a few seconds but a few, Hux included, held his gaze. Ben seemed to take note of each.

"I have said before and I will say again," he finally said, "Rey is trustworthy, and a good soldier. If anyone has his doubts, I will personally make sure that he's on the next ship into battle so he can fight at her side."

Rey saw the corner of Tal's mouth quirk upward from across the room before he quickly smoothed his expression into careful apathy. There was silence from all sides, and she could feel Ben's tension calm by a fraction when no one stood to challenge him.

The rest of the debriefing passed with a sense of forced civility. She could feel both the eyes of the officers and Ben's growing unease, both of which set her increasingly on edge as time passed. The skin beneath her cloth bracelet had long since turned red from her constant twisting. It was a relief when the officers stood from their seats and left the room. Hux was among the last to go. Before he passed through the doorway, he fixed her with an expression of such raw and open hatred that Rey's hand flinched toward her saber hilt before she could stop it. The man didn't seem to notice, and he quickly disappeared down the corridor.

Rey glanced around to see if any of the officers remained and was surprised to see Captain Tal still in his corner. He stared across at them before picking up his helmet and approaching. Rey read wariness in the way he walked stiffly forward. He stopped several feet in front of them and inclined his head in a bow.

"Supreme Leader," he said. "Rey."

"Captain," Ben replied.

"I just wanted you to know," Tal said, turning to Rey, "that I didn't mean to imply that you were at fault in my report. I simply explained what happened. General Hux seemed to think the attack was your fault, somehow. I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault," Rey said, fighting down a new wave of anger. "Hux believes what he believes about me. Nothing you could have said would have convinced him to see me in a favorable light."

"Well, I know what I saw. You saved many of my troopers today, and I wanted to thank you for that. They asked me to pass the message along that they're grateful to both of you as well."

"The feeling's mutual," Ben said with a smile. "I think I remember one of your troopers killing a man who was about to kill me."

"And Sim saved me," said Rey. "I got hit by a pulse from a sonic rifle and she pulled me out of the way of blaster fire while I was disoriented."

Out of the corner of her eye, Rey saw Ben shoot a sharp look in her direction and she heard the swift note of his fear before it dissolved away again into silence. She wanted to reach out to him- to let the warmth of her hand remind him that she was alive and unharmed- but Tal stood before them and, though he might be an ally, she still couldn't take the risk.

The Captain bowed once more.

"It was an honor to serve with you both," he said. "I hope to do so again."

"As do we," said Ben.

Tal grinned and turned away, jogging off the bridge and out into the corridor beyond. Rey watched him go, then looked to Ben. The lines on his face had smoothed until he looked almost like he had when they'd visited his knights. The straight line of his shoulders had sloped, and he leaned heavily against a wall, rubbing a hand over his face.

 _What are you thinking?_ She asked him through the bond.

Ben closed his eyes and grinned.

 _I'm thinking that there might be some hope for us, after all,_ he said. _We might just have a chance._


	31. Chapter 31: Ben

A/N: Hey everyone! *waves and smiles* Hope you all are doing well and staying healthy:)

I know I was a bit longer in posting this chapter, so thanks for being patient. Hopefully it's worth the wait *crosses fingers*. Thanks for the favorites/follows and reviews- you all are so good at making me smile, so thanks for that too!:D

Special kudos this week to FenrisInside who has been a huge help with all things military related and for the useful references and advice on battle tactics, and Leona2016 who continues to be a huge encouragement when I'm struggling through a chapter that's being particularly stubborn as well as for the crazy rad beta-ing skills. The both of you are fantastic, thank you!

Take care of yourselves until next time:)

-Emmeth

* * *

 _Someone was screaming._

 _Ben could hear it echoing through the corridors of the starship, reverberating around him until the air was full of the sound. It was a noise of mingled pain and grief and rage, and the creature that made it seemed barely human. It was a noise he himself had made long ago on the night he'd turned his back on the light side._

 _The noise both drew and repulsed him, so that Ben crept forward with curiosity and terror in equal measures. He didn't know how far he traveled with the agonized screams tearing at his insides. He didn't care. His only goal was to find the source of those terrible sounds._

 _He rounded a corner and froze, nearly falling over himself. Before him, a table rose in the middle of a room. Bright lights shone from both the ceiling and the floor, illuminating the sea of activity going on around it. He couldn't make out clearly what was lying there, but by the soft noises of pain it was making, he could tell it was alive. In the same instinctive way, he knew that this was the creature whose cries had sliced through his mind and pierced his dreams._

 _One of the droids touched the man's shoulder and he screamed again, back arching from the table as his lone cybernetic arm grasped uselessly at the air._

 _"Padme…" the name was a guttural moan that pitched higher until it became another wail. "I want to die. Oh Force…let me die!"_

 _Ben crept closer, pushing aside the droids until he was looking down at the wretched heap of burned and bloody flesh. His stomach lurched when he saw the full extent of the man's injuries._

 _"Who are you?" he gasped._

 _The man turned blue eyes shot with yellow towards him, his ruined face twisted in his anguish._

 _"Turn back," he whispered. "Turn back now, before it's too late. He'll take everything from you. He'll kill you like he killed me."_

 _"I don't understand," Ben said. "I don't know who you're talking about. Who are you?"_

 _The man struggled for air, mouth open and breath wheezing in his chest._

 _"You know…who I am…" he rasped._

 _The man vanished and Ben felt something pressing against his face. There was a hissing noise in his ears, like that of air escaping under pressure. He couldn't breathe. Whatever it was, was smothering him. He clawed at the thing, fingers at last locating a mechanism on the side. The helmet came away in his hands and he looked down at it, half expecting to see the mask he'd both made and destroyed. But it wasn't his mask. It was his grandfather's._

 _It was Vader's._

 _"NO!" he shouted, throwing it as far away as he could. "NO!"_

 _Another scream cut the air as he shouted, blending with his cry. It was Rey's voice- a solitary word in her desperate wail._

 _"BEN!"_

 _And then he was falling. Ben landed hard and his breath rushed from his chest in a single sharp exhalation. He got to his feet, struggling for air and trying to get his bearings. It was a futile effort. Everything was dark about him._

 _"Hello?" he called, stupidly. "Rey? Where are you?"_

 _Out in the blackness, someone started to laugh. He knew the sound. He'd heard it too many times to be able to shove down the icy cold of the terror it raised in him. Somewhere beyond his sight, Snoke was laughing. But it wasn't quite Snoke. It was like, and yet it wasn't like._

 _"Foolish child," said a voice in his ear, both foreign and familiar at once. "Do you think you can stop me? Do you think you can save them?"_

 _Ben spun, expecting the find the speaker right behind him. There was nothing but darkness, but it did not ease his anxiety._

 _"Show yourself!" he shouted, turning in a full circle._

 _"I don't think so," the voice chuckled coldly. "You are no worthy opponent. Your grandfather's weakness runs true in you."_

 _"Vader was not weak!"_

 _"And yet Vader is dead. But perhaps there is still hope for his bloodline."_

 _Ben flinched at the cunning thought he sensed behind the words. His mind flew instantly to Rey. The voice laughed again, harder than before, a high-pitched, slightly mad sound now that was rapidly losing its strange likeness to the laughter of Snoke._

 _"Your thoughts betray you, boy," said the voice. "Your love will be your downfall, as it was your grandfather's. Rey will die and you will follow her."_

 _Ben turned in a circle, helpless in the freezing darkness. There was nowhere to go. Nothing to strike at. The voice gave one last, low chuckle._

 _"Long have I waited, and now your coming together is your undoing."_

Ben bolted upright in his bed with a strangled cry. His heart raced behind his ribs and his sweat-soaked blankets clung to him, twisted and pulled free from the foot of the bed in his struggle. He sat there, panting, dragging his mind out of the nightmare and back to reality. It had all been a dream. Just a dream. One like so many before it. He buried his face in his hands and focused on the pounding in his chest, waiting for it to slow.

He wished Rey was next to him. The comfort of her breathing and the soft sleeping noises she made were infinitely better than the terrible, echoing silence that surrounded him. But Rey was asleep in her own room, as they'd both decided was best while Hux was a threat. It had been this way ever since Jakku, and he hated it more with every night that passed.

Sometimes the bond would open, and she would lay with her head on his chest, one ear pressed over his heart, until he fell asleep. But she was always gone when he woke with nightmares, the bond having closed and pulled her away from him again. Somehow, those nights were worse than the nights she wasn't there at all.

He let out the breath he'd been holding in a long, slow exhalation and laid back to face the dark ceiling. The strange laughter still rang in his ears, mocking him and setting his heart back into a frantic rhythm. His dream flickered behind his eyelids and he saw, again, the strange man on the table and heard Rey's scream. He could talk to Mela. She might know what it meant, if it meant anything. He prayed that it was nothing- that it was only the product of a mind plagued by doubt and fear, as had been so many before. It couldn't be real. It just couldn't.

...

Five hours and four large cups of caf later, Ben strode down the corridor toward Rey's room with the dregs of his fifth cup clutched in his hand. His mind was on everything but the path his feet were taking. Not long after waking, a call had come through on his holopad. It had been Cy, reporting that another day had come without a sign that Finn would carry out his threats.

He couldn't say it surprised him, but the knowledge was still a relief. It had been the same for the two months since the battle on Jakku. In that time, he and Rey had neither heard nor seen any sign of Snoke, and Hux was behaving suspiciously well after Rey's second threat on his life during the debriefing. But with the relative quiet came a growing sense of something hanging over their heads, making Ben feel as if he were always watching over his shoulder.

The strain was taking its toll on Rey too. While her skills grew daily, both with her saberstaff and in her new strength in the dark side, she was often ill, and he knew she wasn't sleeping well. The attack on another pocket of the Resistance four weeks before had actually come as a welcome relief for them both- a way to release frustration and a way to prove that they weren't completely powerless. But now it was over a month later, and the feeling had long since vanished.

Ben let out a long sigh, mind coming fully back to the present. At least his knights and their charges were safe. That much, he was grateful for. He glanced up to see that he'd reached Rey's apartments without realizing. He scanned his palm and stepped into the room beyond as soon as the door opened. Rey was nowhere to be seen, but it only gave him the smallest twinge of worry. He could sense her presence in the Force somewhere nearby. She was probably trying to get in a last few minutes of rest. He took a sip from his cup, looking toward her bedroom.

"Rey?"

"Over here." came a faint voice.

A second later, Rey's disheveled head rose above the back of the sofa. He smiled at the tangle of her hair and went around so he could see her face. To his dismay, she was pale and drawn with a weary expression that spoke of another long, sleepless night. Her nose wrinkled in disgust as he drew closer and he thought he saw her go a shade whiter.

"What is that _smell_?"

"You look like death," he said. "Have you been sick again?"

"Yeah," she said. "I had a rough night. _What_ are you drinking?"

"It's just caf."

Rey made a face.

"That's what they claim it is anyway," she muttered, lying back down and closing her eyes. "But whatever that is smells too horrible to be caf."

"I don't smell anything different," Ben chuckled. "Your nose is off, as usual."

Rey ignored him and curled a little tighter under her blanket.

"Are you feeling any better?" he asked.

"No," she said. "After I got sick the first time, I got really dizzy and couldn't make it back to my room, so I've been here since about 0300. My stomach still doesn't feel right."

"Why didn't you call me?"

"Didn't want to wake you if you were asleep," she said, eyes squeezing a little tighter shut. "Besides, it would have looked suspicious if someone saw you coming into my apartment in the middle of the night. It'll go away. It always does."

"Rey-"

"I'm fine, Ben, really. I think it's just something that has to run its course."

"But this has been going on for weeks. What if it's something serious? I know a few troopers in the last landing company came down with the Cardooine chills and they're still recovering. You could have something like that."

Rey gave the slightest shake of her head.

"No cough," she said. "And I'm not hungry at all. Besides, if it was the Cardooine chills, you'd be down with it too by now."

Ben sat down on the floor next to her and stroked her hair back from her forehead. Rey leaned into his hand and let out a long sigh, burrowing herself a little deeper into the blankets. He kept running his fingers through her hair, patiently unknotting the strands until they lay, straight and a beautiful rich brown, in a curtain across her shoulders. The discomfort in her expression eased as her muscles went slack and her breathing turned deeper as she drifted into sleep.

Ben smiled down at her peaceful form and leaned in to kiss her. In that moment, Rey's eyes snapped open and her face went suddenly gray as she bolted upright, sweat starting on her forehead. Ben nearly fell backwards as her head missed cracking into his by a hairsbreadth. She was off the sofa and stumbling for the refresher before he could right himself. A moment later, the sound of retching reached his ears. He got to his feet, his cup of caf still in his hand, and went to the doorway of the refresher to peer in at Rey.

"Rey?"

"What?" she gasped, one arm propped on the rim of the toilet to push the hair back from her forehead.

"Are you alright?"

"No, I'm not," she groaned, lowering her head until it rested against her arm, her exhaustion scrawled across her face. "When is this going to stop?"

"I'm sure it'll clear up soon-" he said, trying to reassure himself as much as her.

As if to prove him wrong, Rey lurched forward over the toilet and vomited again. The sound of her gasping and coughing unnerved him. This had been going on for too long. Something was wrong.

"Why don't you get checked out by one of the med-droids today?" he asked. "I'm sure they could give you something for it. I know we already tried bacta, and it didn't work, but they might have something else."

"And have whatever's wrong with me get back to Hux?" she said, rinsing her mouth with water and spitting it out into the toilet. "He already has enough on us without knowing I'm not well. Besides, I can take care of myself. I've had worse."

"Really?"

"Well…no. That was a lie."

"Rey-"

"I'll compromise. If I'm not better by the end of next week, I'll go to the med bay."

"Why not the end of this week?"

"Next week," Rey repeated. "If I die, you can take me sooner."

"I guess you want me to be content with that?"

She nodded.

"I'm not, you know."

"I know."

Rey's head drooped, misery and fatigue evident in the slope of her shoulders and the lines of her pale face. Ben settled in beside her on the floor and carefully put an arm around her, easing her down so her head was lying in his lap. She made no move to resist him and settled close against his side, shivering a little on the cold tile of the floor.

"What did Cy have to say this morning?" she asked, voice little more than a whisper. "I know you've been worrying about all of them."

"They've heard nothing and seen nothing, but he just wanted to give me updates. They're moving the ships again today to avoid being traced. We still don't have any idea how the Resistance managed to find out about the younglings, but I can't take any chances. I had Taryn working on reconfiguring the communications system and Cy said he's finally figured out a way to prevent messages from being traced or intercepted by the Resistance."

"Good," Rey mumbled. "Any news on Snoke?"

"Nothing."

"And how about Hux?"

"I haven't spoken to the man yet today. I'd rather not, if I can help it."

"Avoiding him won't do you any favors, Ben. He'll undermine your power even further if you're not around to stop him. It happened all the time on Jakku."

"I know."

Rey reached up a shaking hand and traced her fingers over his cheek, letting them rest against his jaw. Ben turned his head and pressed a kiss against her palm.

"I just want you to be safe," she whispered. "I can't lose you too."

"And you're not going to," he said. "But I have to walk this line. If it was only me, I wouldn't care. I would have killed him a long time ago. But you know that I can't risk you."

"You act like I can't hold my own," she said.

"I know you can in a proper fight. But Hux is devious. I wouldn't trust him to fight fair, and I don't trust any of his cronies to either."

Rey snorted, but she didn't make any argument. They were quiet for several long minutes, thoughts drifting between them.

"And the troopers?" Rey finally asked. "Do we know where their allegiance lies?"

"No. I can only guess whether everything we've done has made a difference," he said. "I hope, but I don't know for certain if they'll stand with us. Tal and Sim are still wary, and I haven't heard anything from any others."

"Lita hasn't told me anything either," Rey said. "But I haven't pushed her for information. I don't want to scare her off."

"Probably wise," Ben said with a chuckle. "She's more skittish than you are."

Rey gave him a half smile and sat up; fingers pressed to her temples.

"Better?" he asked.

"Maybe a little, but it's hard to tell. I'm going to try eating something."

She got to her feet, face white and legs shaking beneath her as she stumbled out of the refresher. By the time he'd gotten to his feet and followed, she was heading back to the sofa with one of the packs of biscuits she'd stolen from the mess in her hands.

"They're going to start noticing when those go missing," he said.

"No, they won't," she said around a mouthful. "They had more than half a pallet of them left."

She settled down in her cocoon of blankets, tired eyes closing, as Ben sprawled out beside her.

"Did you dream again last night?" she asked.

"Yes."

"I felt it," she whispered. "What frightened you so badly about it? Was it Snoke again?"

"I think so, but I'm not sure. I heard his laugh, but then it was different, and I didn't recognize it. There was another voice too, one that I didn't know, threatening me and telling me that I was going to die."

"Do you think it means anything?" Rey asked with her brow creased in worry.

"I don't know. I need to ask Mela."

"And what do you think she'll say?"

"I have no idea," he said. "But she's the best of us when it comes to dreams. If anyone would know, it would be her."

Rey's fingers found the black band of cloth around her wrist and began to twist it absently in her fingers. Ben sighed and laid his hand over hers, stilling the nervous movement.

"We'll be alright, Rey. It was just a dream."

"But what if it's not?" she asked. "What if it's a warning?"

"Then we take it as such. But it might just as easily be nothing. Would you feel better about it if you came with me to ask Mela?"

"Depends on what she has to say."

Ben tried to give her a smile, but it was only a half-hearted attempt.

"I suppose we'll find out. Are you sure you're feeling well enough to come along?"

"I'm fine," Rey said, shoving the pack of biscuits at his chest and getting up from the sofa. "And even if I wasn't, I'm coming anyway."

He watched as she disappeared into her room, marveling at the way she could pick herself up again and again and keep going, even when she was exhausted and sick. Had she always been so stubborn, or was it a product of all the lonely years she'd spent looking after herself? Whichever it was, it would seem that the Force had prepared her for her role in the galaxy long before she'd awakened to it.

Rey emerged a few minutes later, knotting her belt at her waist with a look of concentration. Her fingers left the worn leather and traveled to her hair, quickly binding the long strands up in the usual three buns. She glanced up just in time to catch him watching her.

"What?"

"Nothing," Ben lied.

Rey gave him one of the sly grins she reserved only for him and slung her arm around his waist, planting a kiss on his jaw.

"Liar," she grumbled, good-naturedly.

"And what if I am?"

"Then you're a bad one," she said, staring up at him with her beautiful brown eyes that were so comfortable to get lost in.

He leaned in and pressed his lips against hers. She returned the kiss and he felt her fingers traveling up his neck to run through his hair. He started to chuckle, drawing away from her.

"Better stop there, or we won't get off the ship."

"Don't tempt me."

He took another step back with a growing feeling of disappointment that was reflected in Rey's eyes.

"You ready?" he asked.

"As I'll ever be."

...

Mela's shout of greeting rang out through the hangar even before their feet hit the ground. Ben couldn't help smiling at Rey's flinch. She'd have to get used to Mela. The knight had made it clear over the years that she hated being the lone female of the group, and Ben suspected she wasn't going to rest until Rey saw her as both a friend and a sister. At least she'd announced herself this time. She'd learned from their last visit.

"What are you both doing here?" she asked as she wrapped her arms around Rey's shoulders, "Cy said you'd mentioned you were coming."

"Ben had a dream," Rey said, before he could answer.

"What dream?"

Ben saw Rey's face slide into uncertainty at the concerned tone in Mela's voice. He swore inwardly and felt again the urgent desire to shield her from what they faced. But she had come along wanting answers, and she wouldn't listen if he tried to send her away. He couldn't really blame her. If the situation were reversed, he supposed he would feel the same way.

He described the dream, from beginning to end, darting glances toward Rey as he did. The more he said, the more frightened she became. What had started as a sense of vague anxiety emanating from her was now a full-blown storm of fear and anger. She was seething.

Mela didn't seem to notice, nodding as he spoke, taking in everything. Her expression stayed somber, but never once did her eyes stray to where Rey stood, arms wrapped tight around herself, muscles stiff and tense.

"I want Cy to hear this too," she said. "He's in the middle of teaching a class, but he'll be fine with an interruption."

She whisked around and started walking across the hangar, beckoning for them to follow. Ben followed at a distance with Rey stalking along at his side. The freezing shards of her anger had all but crystallized around her, keeping her at a distance. After a minute their connection went utterly silent as Rey seemed to vanish from the Force. He staggered at the loss of her, then suddenly remembered that they were supposed to be shielding. He quickly wrapped the Force around himself, concealing his presence within it. But he didn't need the Force to tell that Rey was still angry.

"You didn't tell me any of that," she whispered. "How am I supposed to help if you don't tell me anything?"

"I was just trying to-"

"You'd better not be about to say you were just trying to protect me."

"Well…"

"I can take care of myself," she said, indignation thick in her voice. "I don't need you to protect me. I never needed you to protect me."

"I know," he hissed back. "But is it a crime if I _want_ to? You've never had that."

Rey paused, taken aback. Her shoulders sagged a little and her eyes turned down to the floor.

"I just want to be there for you like you are for me," she said. "You take my load as your own, but you don't let me help you with yours. You shouldn't have to bear all of this on your own."

"You are there," he protested. "Every day that I wake up and know you're there is a day I can face. You give me courage, Rey, and I know I can trust you to stand by me. It's for that reason that I try to shield you. I don't want you to have to bear what I have to."

Rey let out a long sigh and her hand reached out for his.

"You promised that you wouldn't hide things from me. I took a vow, Ben, to stand strong at your side when you were weary. I know you're tired. Can you trust me enough to let me be what I swore on the day I bound myself to you? Can I trust you to be honest with me?"

Rey held his gaze with her fierce, steady eyes and he found he could not look away. She meant every word that she said.

"I promise," he said. "No more secrets."

She smiled and some of the tension lining her face eased away.

"Thank you, Ben."

Mela glanced over her shoulder. "Keep up, you two."

Ben obeyed, lengthening his stride, and Rey picked up her pace until she was trotting along at his elbow. They caught up with Mela just as she pushed open the door to a large open room. A group of perhaps twenty younglings formed a great circle around Cy, who was sitting in the exact middle. At the sound of the door opening, twenty small faces turned toward them. Several lit with grins when they saw him and Ben took an instinctive step back, anticipating what was about to happen.

"Master Kylo!"

The shriek split the air, and there was a flash of blue as a Twi'lek girl ran as fast as she could toward him, arms stretched out. A moment later, she was clinging to his legs and laughing. Rey stared down at the girl.

"Ben?"

"Rey, meet Nanni."

"Master Kylo, you're back!" cried the girl from where she now sat on his feet, pressing her cheek against his knee and giggling harder. "You were gone for a long, long time."

"It's good to see you too, small one," Ben said as he took a clumsy step toward Cy, dragging Nanni with him.

Cy was already chuckling as he got to his feet, herding a small group of children out of his path.

"I see your orbalisk has attached herself," he said.

Ben glanced down at Nanni, only to find her gazing up at him with a smile that lit her whole face. A rush of affection for the little girl swept through him and he smiled back at her.

"It appears she has."

"So, what brought you here?" Cy asked, expression falling into concern. "Do you have news about the Resistance?"

"It's not anything like that," Ben said, shaking his head. "I had a dream last night that I wanted to talk with Mela about. She wanted you to hear it as well."

"I don't know what I'll be able to tell you if she doesn't have anything."

Mela waved a hand through the air as though to brush aside his words.

"I just wanted you to hear what he has to say," Mela said. "I don't know what it means, but I've got an odd feeling about it."

Cy nodded for Ben to start, a worried frown forming lines around his mouth, and Ben began to recount his dream for the second time in as many hours. The telling did not make it any less confusing or frightening. If anything, the images and voices drew closer in his thoughts. Cy's face seemed to age years as Ben spoke, but he remained silent until he'd finished.

"Do you know who the dying man was?" he asked quietly as Ben's voice drifted off.

Ben shook his head.

"And you say you recognized Snoke's voice?"

"At first, yes."

"And he threatened you?"

"What else did Snoke ever do?" Ben asked, letting out his frustration in sarcasm. "He told me that I would die like Vader did."

"Master Kylo?" interrupted a small voice at his feet. "Who's Snoke?"

Ben looked down to see Nanni with her arms wrapped around his shins and her head against his knees. There was a worried crease starting between her brows. Guilt curled through him. In his absorption with his dream, he'd forgotten that she was there.

"Is he mean?" asked the youngling.

Rey knelt next to him and gently extricated Nanni from his legs. The child got up and stood before Rey, shuffling her feet and staring down at the floor. Rey took the little hand in hers and gave it a squeeze.

"You're safe right here," she said. "You know that, right? Nobody can hurt you while you're with Mela and Cy."

The youngling nodded, sniffling as a tear slid down her cheek. Ben winced, knowing what tears meant. Nanni took a great breath and then a noise that seemed too loud to have been produced by such a small set of lungs escaped her.

"But what about M-Master Kylo?" she wailed. "What if he g-goes away like my Ada and Ama?"

Rey looked to him with an anguished expression, before she smoothed it away and turned back to the girl that had released her hand in favor of wrapping her arms around Rey's chest and clinging there.

"He won't go away, like your father and mother," Rey said, stroking a hand over Nanni's lekku. "He's big and strong and he's got us to help him, right?"

Nanni hiccupped and nodded miserably.

"So that means he'll be okay," Rey said. "I promise. We'll all be okay."

Ben wasn't sure if she were reassuring the youngling, or herself, but the words seemed to calm the little Twi'lek. Her sobs turned into quiet whimpers and she scrubbed at her eyes with a fisted hand.

"You promise?"

"Didn't I just say so?" Rey smiled. "Now, Master Kylo and I have to talk with Master Cy and Mela. Why don't you go play with the others? When we're done, I'd bet Master Kylo would love for you to show him what you've been learning."

Nanni gave Rey a watery smile before looking hesitantly to Ben. He nodded at her and gave her a little nudge.

"Go on," he said. "I'll stay right here."

The youngling walked off to join a group that were bouncing a small ball around the circle using only their feet. Ben saw her glance back at him several times as though to reassure herself that he was still there.

"How did she get so attached to you?" Rey asked, getting to her feet.

"I rescued her from a smuggler," he said, eyes still on the child's back. "Her father died, and her mother was sold. The smugglers found her pretty fast and figured they'd make a few extra credits. She's a Rutian Twi'lek, so the Core World entertainers would have paid a higher price for her. They start them early in that line of work."

He felt a sudden urge to spit. What the First Order, and all the governments before it, allowed disgusted him. He'd tried time and again to stamp out the slave trade, but there was no way to enforce it without the backing of Hux's army, and _that_ didn't look like it was going to happen any time soon.

"So, you took her?"

"Yeah. I could tell she was sensitive the minute I found her in the hold. She's been here ever since."

"And the child can't stay out of trouble," Mela muttered at Rey's side.

Rey chuckled and the two began to talk quietly together as they took a few steps away. Ben's mood lifted to see Rey smiling and chattering with Mela, but in the next second it plummeted back into the all too familiar anxiety as Cy spoke.

"I know you came here looking for answers, Kylo, but I don't have any. You ought to know by now that Mela's sight doesn't always give her the power to interpret the things you see."

"I know, I just want to know if either of you have seen anything yourselves."

Cy shook his head.

"I haven't. And Mela hasn't said anything about any visions. You and I both know that she doesn't keep things like that quiet."

Ben sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, fighting his frustration.

"I do know. I had just hoped for some answers."

"Well, the only advice I would give you is to treat it as a warning, whether it turns out to be one or not, until we can learn more. Have you found any more signs of Snoke?"

"Nothing. He jumps and the only thing we have to go on is a missing trooper, nothing more. It's impossible to trace him until he reveals himself. At this point, he holds the cards."

"Then watch your back."

"What do you think we've been doing?"

"I still wish you would change your mind and let one of us come back with you," Cy said. "You and Rey shouldn't be left without guard."

"I've ordered you to stay here, Cy, and I mean what I say," Ben said, shaking his head. "Rey and I are managing."

"If you won't take my offer of protection, then swear to me you'll take care of yourselves. None of us want to have to bury either of you."

"You won't have to," Ben said, with more confidence than he felt. "I swear to you, that as far as it's within my power, Snoke will die before us."

Cy crossed his arms and met Ben's eyes without flinching.

"Then make sure it _is_ within your power, because I guarantee your deaths are within Snoke's."

Rey's voice broke through Ben's brooding thoughts, sharp and frightened.

"Mela? What's wrong?"

Ben's head swung toward the sound in the same instant that Cy's did. Rey was standing before Mela with her hands on her shoulders, peering into her face. It had gone blank and she stared straight ahead, seeming to look past Rey and into empty space. Ben strode forward to investigate but froze when Mela began to speak.

"A warning, Kylo Ren," came her voice, soft but without inflection or emotion. "The past and the future entwine as strands of a rope and they cannot be undone. Be on your guard. Past enemies rise again to threaten a new generation. It will perhaps fall to you to combat a greater evil than we have yet known. Learn from the mistakes of your forebears. Be watchful. Do not shut your eyes in fear of what still lies hidden in darkness."

"Mela," Cy said, concern drawing lines in his brow as he gripped her shoulder. "Mela, come out of it."

Mela flinched, but her eyes slid toward Rey and widened, as if she saw something in the empty air. She held still, head on a tilt as if listening, for several long seconds during which Cy shook her in an attempt to bring her back to herself. Her mouth opened and she spoke again, her dull stare gazing out past them.

"And a warning for you as well, Rey of Jakku:" Mela said, her voice still coming in a low monotone. "I see within you a great potential for light, but also one for darkness. You hold a power that may lift the galaxy into a new peace or bring it, razed and burning, to its knees. There are many paths before you, yet it is already too late to choose the one you walk. But there is still time to change your allegiance. Turn back to the light before the darkness takes from you what you do not yet know you have."

There was a moment of utter silence and then Mela blinked. She winced and clutched at her head, staring about at their stunned expressions with slightly glazed eyes.

"Oh Force," she mumbled. "I've got a bad feeling about this."


	32. Chapter 32: Rey

A/N: Hey everyone! Hope you're all doing well!

Thanks to everyone who continues to follow/favorite/review! I appreciate each and every one of you more than I can say. Your continued reading is such an encouragement! Thanks also (as always) to FenrisInside and Leona2016 for their help in this project. I tip my hat to you both!

Hope you all like this chapter and continue to stay healthy and safe!

* * *

Dread curled in Rey's stomach, sending another wave of the all-too-familiar nausea rolling through her. She focused on taking several deep breaths in the hope of suppressing the sensation. Beside her, Mela shuddered and clasped her arms against her chest as Cy spoke to her in low, comforting tones. Ben drew Rey gently away from the pair, giving them room to speak.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

"I don't know," Rey said, suddenly realizing that she was shaking all over. "What was that? What does it mean?"

"It's a warning," Mela said, before Ben could answer, taking a staggering step toward them with Cy's aid. "I know that much. I don't understand it, and my sight wasn't clear, but I know for certain it was a warning."

"Against what?" Rey asked.

"Against Snoke, and against the dark side," said Mela. "Turn back, Rey. That is the only thing that is clear in my mind. Turn back, now, before it's too late."

Mela's expression had shifted into a fervent desperation so terrible that Rey took a step away from the knight in fear, deeper into the circle of Ben's arms.

"I can't go back," she said. "With Snoke still alive and Hux searching for any way to get rid of us, I need the power the dark side gives me."

Mela shook her head.

"Please, Rey, listen to sense. I don't know exactly what I saw, but I know something terrible could happen if you don't turn back to the light side. It's too late for us: me, Cy, Kylo and the others. But it's not too late for you. I can feel it. Can't you?"

Rey shook her head and helplessly spread out her hands.

"I don't know how to go back," she whispered. "I can't hear the light side. I used to be able to sometimes, faintly. But not anymore."

They all went silent as the full weight of Mela's vision settled on their shoulders. Rey bit her lip, terror and guilt boiling inside her. It was all her fault. She was the one who would be responsible for the destruction of all she'd come to hold dear. The thought made her stomach clench. She looked down at her hands. It didn't seem possible that she could use them to upend the galaxy. But hadn't she already done so, in a way?

Ben must have read the anguish in her face, because he leaned closer and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

"Dreams and visions don't always come true in the way we expect them to," he said. "Or they may not come true at all."

"But what if this one does?" Rey asked. "What if-"

"Stop," Ben said.

"But-"

"Rey," he said, turning so he was looking straight into her eyes. "Stop. I know you. You don't have it in you. Mela's visions have been wrong before."

"Really?" Rey asked, looking to Mela for confirmation.

The knight nodded hesitantly, biting her bottom lip.

"I have been wrong before," she admitted. "I may be wrong again."

The relief that swept through Rey was like a brief flash of light in the darkness; intensely bright but gone as quickly as it came. Ben's arm tightened around her as her knees shook with an exhaustion that seemed to come from nowhere. She gave in to it, lowering herself to the floor and running a hand over her face. Above all else, she longed for the peace that had flowed through her so long ago, but her mind still echoed with Mela's words and the weight of the galaxy that seemed to come crashing back down around her as the darkness drew close once again.

"Rey, are you alright?" Mela asked, her concern shifting from the vision to Rey herself. "You don't look well."

Rey tried to nod but the movement sent her head spinning. She closed her eyes and leaned against the wall to steady herself, pressing her palms against the cool floor. The nausea that roiled her stomach was growing worse, and bile burned the back of her throat.

"I'm fine," she whispered. "Just tired."

"You're as white as the snow on Hoth."

"I'm fine _,_ " Rey insisted.

Ben crouched next to her and pushed the hair from her face to press the back of his hand to her forehead. Rey nudged him away, turning her head far enough to see Mela from the corners of her eyes.

"What did you mean," she asked weakly, "when you said that the darkness would take something from me that I don't know I have?"

Mela shook her head as she sat down across from her.

"I don't know," she said. "I wish I did."

Rey shivered, crossing her arms over her stomach and drawing up her knees as though to keep herself warm. Mela slid closer and tried to wrap an arm around her shoulders. Rey flinched away, afraid of the touch after what Mela had pronounced over her. Mela pulled back, understanding and hurt flickering over her face. She clasped her hands in her lap and looked down at them.

"I'm so sorry, little sister. If I could take back my words, I would."

Rey nodded, but couldn't find the strength to say anything. She sat, frozen, locked in her own drifting thoughts as she stared into space, too tired to move. The low murmur of Ben's voice wrapped around her, lending a small amount of security, but it did nothing to calm the tumult of her mind.

"Why don't you take her to Corann?" said Mela's voice, breaking through Rey's trance.

"What?" she asked, looking up.

"I'd considered it," Ben said, avoiding her eyes. "But he's on the move and hasn't checked in with his coordinates again."

"She needs a med-droid, at least, Kylo."

"I do _not_ need a med-droid to prod me all over only to tell me I have an upset stomach," Rey protested. "I'm fine. Today is just one of the bad days."

"One of?" Mela asked, hand on her hip. "Just how long has this been going on?"

Rey was spared from having to answer her by the buzz of Ben's holopad. He flicked it open and an image of a man in a long robe glowed blue from the air above the device. Ben's brows drew together in confusion even as he dipped his head in a greeting.

"Jai, I wasn't expecting you to report in yet. Is everything alright?"

"Everything's fine, but I have news. Are you on the _Finalizer_?"

"No," Ben said. "We're on Cy's transport."

"Good, that'll be closer. Taryn relieved me an hour ago so I'm only about a parsec out. Should be there in a half hour or so."

"What's going on?"

"I'll tell you when I get there. I'm about to make the jump to hyperspace, so I'm going to lose you."

"Alright, we'll be waiting for you in the hangar."

"Copy that. See you soon."

As the hologram fizzled into empty air, Rey gathered herself and stood, fighting a wave of dizziness. She ignored Mela's concerned expression and stepped forward to take Ben's arm.

"We'd better get a move on," she said. "It sounds like he's on to something."

...

Rey studiously avoided Mela's searching looks as they trekked through the corridors of the transport ship toward the hangar bay. She made a point of sticking close to Ben's side in an effort to evade the knight's attempts to draw her into another conversation. Mela needn't have worried. To Rey's great relief, the nausea had ebbed, as was its way, and she found that she felt nearly herself for the first time that day.

She was still keeping her gaze well away from Mela's when Jai's ship glided through the bay doors. It hovered for a moment, then sank to the floor, coming to rest like a great bird. Ben was already striding forward to meet it as the hatch swung open and the unfamiliar knight stepped out onto the wing, sliding to the floor with a grunt.

His brown hair was wild about his face and several days' worth of beard covered the deeply tanned skin of his chin and cheeks. He was coated head to foot in filth and, on close inspection, Rey noticed a threadbare quality to his robes. Ben didn't seem to care and threw his arms around the knight, who returned the embrace without hesitation.

"It's good to see you Kylo," the man said. "More than you know."

"And you as well," Ben said.

They clung to one another; brothers united after months apart, before stepping to arm's length again after a long moment. Only then did the knight look about him, seeming to take in his surroundings for the first time. He smiled at Rey, drawing closer and offering his hand.

"You must be Rey," said the knight. "I've heard a lot about you from the others. I'm Jai."

"Good to meet you," Rey said as she hesitantly took his callused hand.

"Mela says you come from Jakku?"

"That's right," Rey said.

"From all I hear, it sounds a lot like my home planet, Tatooine," Jai grinned. "I don't miss it."

"I don't miss Jakku either," Rey said.

Her apprehension began to fade as a small smile tugged at her mouth. Jai radiated a warmth that almost immediately put her at ease.

"Glad you finally brought us another sister, Kylo," Jai chuckled. "I'm sure Mela is thrilled."

"You don't know the half of it," Mela said as she came up beside them with Cy at her shoulder. "I might finally have someone to talk to besides you bunch of laserbrains."

Rey eyed her but didn't say anything, afraid that if she did, Mela would start prying again. There was silence between the five of them for a few moments before Ben broke it with the question Rey knew was foremost on his thoughts.

"What news do you have, Jai?"

Jai took a step back and ran his hands through his hair so that it became even more unkempt.

"We found him."

Rey froze, the three words echoing around her. Ben had told her about the duty he'd entrusted to Taryn and Jai; how they'd been sent to search for Finn and to shadow his movements once they found him. And now, it seemed, they had tracked him down.

"Where is he?" she asked, her voice weak and shaking.

"Cantonica. Right outside Canto Bight."

"How can they hide in a place like Canto Bight?" asked Mela, coming up behind them.

"They're not hiding. They have a sympathizer that owns one of the casinos. He funds them and protects them, but I'm still surprised your informants haven't discovered them yet, Kylo."

"It sounds as if Canto Bight is rethinking its neutral stance," Ben said, wryly. "But it doesn't surprise me that our informants haven't come forward. I guess that they would only turn the Resistance over to us after they were done benefitting from the surge in local business. They're not going to inform while there's money to be made."

"Too true," Cy muttered.

"Have you been able to watch Finn's movements?" Ben asked. "Is there any sign he's searching for the younglings?"

Jai shrugged.

"I've had to shadow him from a distance, Kylo," he said. "I can't hear every conversation he has or keep tabs on every one of his contacts, but from what I've observed there's nothing to indicate he's hunting for us. Mostly he comes and goes, just like the others. The only thing I've seen that struck me as odd is that the Resistance has some kind of animal down there that they started bringing in a few weeks ago. They look almost like a dog, but they seem wilder. I wouldn't want to meet one without a saber. Something in the eyes."

Rey looked up, confused.

"What do you mean, dogs?"

"I don't think they're dogs, exactly," said Jai. "I don't know what they are, but the Resistance has several penned up where they keep the fathiers. I was able to sneak down there last night and saw them. They went mad when I got close; tried to climb the bars to get at me. They made so much noise that I got out of there as fast as I could before someone came down to investigate."

Ben frowned.

"Is this relevant, Jai?"

Jai rubbed a grimy hand over his equally dirty face.

"I think so. I've got a bad feeling about whatever it is the Resistance is plotting."

Ben sighed and turned to Rey with an expression that mirrored her own exhaustion. He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her close against his side. She leaned into him, letting some of her fear ease away. Ben's hand found hers and he squeezed her fingers as if to reassure her that they would be alright.

"I need you and Taryn to keep to your posts for a little while longer," Ben said to Jai. "We're going to need as much information as you can give us before we lead troops into a city where we are at a tactical disadvantage. We're going to need numbers, if you can get them: a rough estimate of firepower and other resources they may have at their disposal, as well as bodies."

Jai nodded, then looked down at his dirt stained clothing.

"How long do you want us trailing them?"

"Until we have the information we need. And I expect you to report anything Finn does that might seem suspicious. I don't need to tell you that any advance warning will be vital if we have to move the younglings."

"No, you don't need to tell me," Jai agreed, determination etching his face. "I'm as unwilling to risk the lives of my charges, as you are yours. I'll kill, if I have to, to protect them. Your trust isn't in vain."

"I know it isn't," Ben said. "But keep your head down unless you know for certain they're under threat. I don't want the Resistance getting jumpy."

"Right."

"It will probably only be a few more weeks before we can launch an attack. I don't anticipate longer than a month, especially if you can get us the numbers we need quickly."

As the conversation went on next to her, Rey began to draw inwards and away from the others. She couldn't help feeling a growing uneasiness as her mind played over everything Jai had said, though she wasn't able to place its exact source. But as Ben continued to instruct the knight in his duties, she realized what was increasingly unnerving her. Jai had vowed to kill if he had to. But they weren't talking about a faceless, nameless enemy this time. They were talking about her friend. About _killing_ him.

"Ben," she said quietly, "what about Finn?"

"What about him?" Ben asked. "He's a traitor."

"He was my friend," she said. "I know he turned on me, and I know the threats he's made against the younglings, but he might be more valuable to us as a prisoner than dead."

Ben considered her for a moment, and she guessed he could read the desperation in her, even without the bond. Could he sense her other reason for wanting him alive? The darkness might be consuming her, but she couldn't fight the ache she felt for reconciliation with her first friend. He'd been angry with her, and she'd been angry with him, but perhaps they could forgive one another. She remembered his face the last time she'd seen him, and the ways she herself had changed since that terrible day. She'd drawn so deep into the darkness. Would it even be possible to start over?

"He might be valuable, Kylo," Cy said. "If he knows the location of the rest of the Resistance, we might be able to get the information from him."

Rey's insides crawled with guilt at the thought of Finn being interrogated, but wasn't that better than him being dead? She bit her lip and locked away her misgivings. Ben glanced at her again, gaze running over her face as if he were trying to decipher her thoughts. She tried to plead with him with her eyes. Surely, he knew. He _must_ know how much this meant to her.

" _Please_ ," she mouthed.

Ben gave her another long look before he slowly nodded.

"Take him alive, if you can," he said, turning and addressing Jai. "But don't endanger your position to do so."

"As you say," the man said, though Rey thought she saw a flicker of uncertainty crossing his expression before his features settled.

"If you can't take him before, we'll try to apprehend him during a battle," said Ben. "Cy's right. He could be a valuable source of information, especially if he's ascended to a position in which he has power."

"Do you think he has?" asked Rey.

"He's a prominent voice, at the very least," Jai said. "I don't see him without two or three others around him. I can't tell for certain, but I suspect they're for his protection."

"If that's true, and with General Organa's death, it would be very likely that he has risen through the ranks," Mela said, "especially since he was close in the general's circle, as you say he was, Kylo."

Rey saw Ben flinch before he quickly covered the movement with a nod. She knew how deep the wound of his mother's death ran, because it still lay raw and open in her own heart. Neither of them could speak of the pain, but they could allow the bond to commune for them. Like the years of loneliness, their grief was an agony that words could not do justice, yet it still drew them closer together.

She stretched out and caught his hand in hers. Even if she couldn't reach him in the bond, she wanted him to know she saw and understood. He gave her the briefest of smiles and squeezed her fingers before he spoke again.

"If Finn is the new voice of the Resistance, then he must be captured. His threats against the younglings under our care cannot be allowed to continue to circulate through the Resistance. We can't afford to waste time trying to keep them from hunting down our charges."

Rey glanced around them, taking in the arching ceiling of the small hangar, and remembering the few corridors they'd walked to come to this point. Ben had told her of a time when the Jedi and the Sith were feared and honored, the councilors of kings and emperors. How was it that, in only a few generations, the galaxy had so utterly rejected them that Force-sensitive children now lived out their lives on a few transport ships that traversed the vast emptiness between worlds. They were a people without a home, forced to choose between exile and death.

Sorrow crept into her heart at the thought. She saw again the little faces turning toward them with smiles that seemed to light the room and the young Twi'lek, Nanni, crying in her fear that Ben would leave and never return. A different memory flashed across her thoughts, one that she'd seen over and over again in her nightmares and in her darkest waking moments. A little girl staring up at a ship rapidly disappearing into a harsh blue sky, screaming for those whom she'd loved to come back for her.

The only difference between them was that Nanni's family had come for her. A different one, perhaps, than the one she had been born into, but a family nonetheless. Rey wondered what her life would have been like if someone had come for her, to teach and guide her through those terrible years alone. To love her. She'd had Hausis, but the old woman was no substitute for a mother and father.

Had Ben had someone he could turn to? Had Mela and Cy and the others? Or had they all been lost children, searching for a place to belong? What had happened to set them on a path so far from the one on which they had started? She'd heard Ben's story, and Luke had told her the same when she'd pressed him for the truth. Ben, at least, had been lost, and his uncle had not helped him. Perhaps that was why the Jedi had fallen all those long years before she was born. Perhaps they had abandoned their own. Wasn't that what had driven Ben away?

She looked at him, studying his profile. She knew him, perhaps better than anyone else in the galaxy, and yet she was still oblivious to so much- ignorant of all those things she'd never asked. There was so much that she was afraid to uncover, and much that had been revealed that she did not understand. But one thing she did know. When she looked about and saw the determination and righteous anger in the faces of Ben and his knights, she found that she was certain of one thing and one thing alone. Mistakes of eons past would be rectified in a new generation.

There would be no abandonment this time.


	33. Chapter 33: Ben

A/N: Hey everyone! Good to be back with you again:) Thanks to everyone who continues to read and to those who continue to follow/favorite/review and to Leona2016 and FenrisInside for their continuing help! Hope you all like this one- I'd love to hear what you think!

Wishing you all the best and praying you stay safe and healthy until next time!

* * *

Ben darted through the streets of Canto Bight with Rey at his side, three steps behind Tal's armored form. The Captain skidded to a halt and disappeared into an alleyway with a quick wave of his hand, beckoning them to follow just as a hail of blaster fire pockmarked the cobblestones before their feet. Rey cried out in alarm and he felt her seize onto the Force to stop a bright streak of plasma in the fraction of a moment before the bolt of red could strike her in the center of her chest. He grabbed her by the neck of her tunic and shoved her into the alleyway in front of him. She collapsed against the brick wall, panting and clutching at her side.

"Are you alright?" he asked. "Were you hit?"

"No," she managed, still breathing hard. "It's just a stitch in my side."

She dug her fingers deeper into the cramping muscle and grimaced.

"Here," he said, holding out his canteen. "Drink."

Her gratitude was a quiet thing in the midst of the chaos of the battle around them, but he felt it nevertheless as she took the bottle and gulped down a few swallows of water before handing it back to him. She gave him a tight smile as she turned back toward the battle, the blades of her staff glittering red in her eyes.

Behind him, Tal was swearing into his comm.

"Come in, Sim," he shouted above the noise. "Come in!"

The comm crackled for a moment before a static-filled voice drifted out, barely audible amidst the sound of blaster fire.

"This is Sim. We're pinned down, Captain. They've got us under heavy fire a few streets down from the Old City. I think some of the local law enforcement is getting involved, but I don't think that's in our favor."

"Roger. Is there any way you could get into the sewers? It won't be pleasant, but it might give you an escape route."

There was a disgusted sound from the comm, then Sim's voice came again.

"I'll give it a shot, Captain, but I don't like the idea of wading through sh-"

An explosion rocked the stone beneath their feet and Ben whirled to Rey, stretching out an arm to drag her further into safety as fire engulfed the entrance of the alleyway.

"Just do it, Lieutenant," Tal shouted. "You're no good to the First Order dead."

"Copy that, Captain. We'll do our best."

The comm went silent in Tal's hands just as another explosion seemed to shake the world. Ben staggered, fighting for balance as the force of the blast threw him sideways. His shoulder slammed against the wall, the pain of it going to the bone. But a moment later, as blaster fire began to sear the air around them, the injury seemed to vanish from his mind.

"We've got to move," Tal said, ducking a plasma bolt. "Now."

They took off after him, dodging the blaster fire and explosions that followed them. Rey struggled along at his side, panting for breath as her face twisted with the pain in her side. Ben urged her forward, pushing her in front of him as he spun to protect their retreat. He was only just in time to deflect the barrage of plasma bolts headed straight for him.

"Get down!" he shouted.

More streaks of red plasma rained down around them, launching dust into the air, and splintering flakes of stone from the buildings around them. Ben flung his arms outward, twisting hard on the Force so that several of the projectiles veered off their courses toward him. Without waiting for another round of fire, he spun on his heel, already tensing to make a run for safety.

Something hissed past his ear and Rey staggered in front of him, crying out in surprise and pain. He knew what had happened even before her pace slowed and her hand shot up to cover her ribs.

"I just got hit," she hissed through teeth gritted in pain.

Ben could feel an echo of the pain in his own chest, though there was no wound to cause it. He saw blood oozing out from between Rey's fingers, staining them a deep red and wetting the dark material of her tunic. His breath caught as fear closed a hand around his throat. But he didn't have time to think about it.

"They're on the rooftops," Tal shouted as another bolt of plasma narrowly missed Ben's head.

Rey ducked another shot and held up a blood covered hand to deflect anything else the snipers above them might send her way. She clamped her other tighter over the wound and began to run again.

They sprinted out from under the shadows of the buildings onto a main thoroughfare, pursued by the echoes of explosions and crumbling masonry. The bright light of blaster fire flickered on the walls and Ben could hear the scream of TIE fighters above their heads as they pursued the Resistance x-wings. Dust stung his eyes and his boots pounded against the street, sending pain shooting through his calves. Rey stumbled and fell, landing hard against the cobblestones. As quickly as she fell, she was up again, both palms torn and bleeding.

He could feel her terror as his own, and it drove him onward even as he wondered how the rest of the troopers were faring. Tal was shouting into his wrist comm again, requesting the coordinates of the group from which they'd been separated. Ben couldn't tell whether or not a message had come through the device, but Tal gave his orders anyway.

"We're on the move two streets east of the city square," Tal said. "Try to get to the rendezvous point at the spaceport. We'll catch up."

As they ran, Ben noticed that the intensity of the blaster fire seemed to be tapering off, and the air about them wasn't as thick with dust and smoke. Tal began to flag, tripping on loose stone and panting for air. Rey, too, seemed drained. He wished he'd been able to convince her to stay behind, but she'd refused. After she'd said she would follow on a different transport if he didn't let her board his, he'd given in. Now, watching her stagger along, gasping and bleeding, he wished he'd fought harder for her to remain in safety.

He took the lead, beckoning them into the shelter of a small alcove in an abandoned building several meters from the road. If they were lucky, they could rest for a few minutes before trying to get to the rendezvous point. Rey collapsed into a sitting position against the wall, her face twisting as adrenaline ebbed and the pain of her injuries began to creep into her awareness.

"How bad is it?" Ben asked her, kneeling beside her.

"It could be worse," she answered, flinching as his fingers explored the wound. "It just grazed me- what I get for not paying attention, really."

Her eyes fluttered closed and he felt her bending the Force around her. Gradually, the blood stopped running and a thick scab formed over the wound. She opened her eyes and tentatively ran her fingers over the spot, the pain easing out of her expression. Ben's fear ebbed by a fraction, but he knew it was still flowing from him through the bond. He knew Rey could feel it, as he could sense hers. She gave him a tight smile and stood up.

"It'll be fine," she assured him, poking her head around the corner to get a good look at the street beyond. "We have a chance to rest. They aren't following."

"Good," Tal muttered, leaning hard against the wall.

He fiddled with the wrist comm for a moment, then tapped one of the buttons. A static buzz filled the air around them, before Tal clicked another button and spoke.

"Sim? Do you copy?"

"I copy, Captain."

"What's your position?" Tal asked.

"We're in the sewers," Sim said. "We got rid of the tail they sent after us, but I'm not sure if they'll send more down. We're in a pretty tight spot right now, sir."

"Keep moving until you find a place where you can get to the surface, then try to get to the spaceport, if you can. We'll meet reinforcements there. Steer clear of the city center. We just came out of a nasty firefight."

"Copy that. And Tal…be safe."

"You as well. See you soon."

The comm shut off and the three stood without speaking for a few minutes, ears tuned to the battle raging in the sky above them. At ground level, the city had gone eerily quiet. The distant sounds of shouts and blaster fire had faded into a tenuous silence. Ben relaxed a fraction, though he kept himself open to the Force, ready for any warning it might give. There was a sudden flux in its flow around him, and he jumped upright, once more on the alert. Out of the silence came the dull staccato of boots running on stone. All three of them spun, Tal with blaster at the ready, and Ben with his hand extended to ward off enemy fire.

The next moment, a figure cloaked in black slid around the corner, face shadowed by a hood. Without waiting for the man to get closer, Tal squeezed off a shot. The man threw himself sideways as the bolt of light streaked past his shoulder. The hood fell back to reveal a mask and helmet with grid-like lines carved into the metal below the single long eye slit. Ben instantly recognized it.

"Tal, stop," he commanded. "He's a friend."

Tal didn't drop his weapon, but he pointed it away from the man who hastily pulled at his mask. Dark hair flopped over Jai's eyes as he yanked it free with the gasp of pressurized air.

"Kylo," he said, relief evident on his features, "thank the Force I found you. I've been searching everywhere."

"Jai?" Ben asked. "What are you doing here? I thought you were trailing Finn-"

"I was. I followed him straight into blaster fire and then lost him trying to keep myself alive," Jai said, with a slight edge to his voice. "I've been looking for you since. Thought I ought to warn you that you're about to walk into a trap."

"Trap?" Tal asked.

"The Resistance holds most of the city west and south of the central square. We still have the spaceport, from all I can tell from the chatter, but we'll have to take the long way around to get there."

"Are the streets safe?"

"About as safe as anywhere else," Jai said. "Take your chances where you will, but I think I know how to get through."

"You have another way?" Tal asked.

"This place is built on a prison. The complex stretches out under the city for almost a click in all directions. We might find a way through there. If not, the level below it is where the sewers run."

"And how do you propose we get into the prisons?" Tal said, a frown on his face. "All entrances and exits are guarded."

Jai gripped the hilt of his saber and grinned fiercely as he ignited the blade.

"Don't underestimate what you don't understand, Captain," he said. "It might be your death."

Tal took a step back, but Ben smiled, laying a hand on the man's shoulder.

"We'll get through alright, Tal. I'm more worried about what we'll meet once we're in the tunnels."

"So, you're coming?" Jai asked.

Ben didn't say anything, letting the harsh crackle of his lightsaber speak for him instead. Rey followed his example, igniting her saberstaff so that the twin blades glowed red in the growing dimness. Night was beginning to set in. They had to move.

"Let's go," said Ben.

They set off into the shadows, following Jai as he jogged through the streets, head on a swivel. They reached their destination faster than Ben had expected and were soon peering around the side of a building for a good look at one of the entrances to the prison.

Tal eyed the doorway before holding up a hand to signal them forward. Jai reached beneath his cloak and drew out something small and cylindrical. Ben saw his knight raising the object to his mouth, arm cocked back and teeth bared to grasp the pin to pull it from the grenade. Ben shook his head violently, making a cutting gesture over his throat. Jai stopped, glancing toward him with a confused expression.

"Don't draw attention," Ben mouthed.

Jai rolled his eyes but tucked the grenade back into its place in one of the pockets of his tunic. Ben's fingers played over the hilt of his saber, now dead in his grasp so that its light would not give them away. Rey stood at his side, her hand clenched around her own weapon, gaze fixed on the entrance before them. He could sense the tightness in her muscles and the nervous energy she was barely keeping in check. The dark side swirled around her, feeding on her anger and her fear, obscuring her in the Force. Something was bothering her, but she wasn't revealing what. It was strange, how she could be both known to him and hidden from him at once. It put him off balance and wore at his already ragged nerves.

Why did she feel so far away?

He was forced to push the thought from his mind when Jai darted across the open space between their hiding place and the prison. His attention snapped to the rooftops, scanning them for any signs of their hunters. Rey followed at Jai's signal, running as fast as she could while nearly bent double. Ben watched her, eyes flicking between her form and the buildings that surrounded them, only letting out his breath when she was safely hidden next to Jai where he stood in the shadow of the wall.

He and Tal followed close behind, coming to rest with their backs pressed tight to brick still warm from the day's sun. Jai glanced at him, seeking approval. Ben ignited his saber and Rey's twin blades hissed into life at the same moment. Jai drew his weapon with them, the bright orange of its blade melding with the flickering red. Ben nodded to the knight.

Jai quickly slipped his helmet back over his head before pressing his hand to the door. A moment later the thick steel portal slid back to reveal a dim corridor sloping downwards, deep into the earth. Ben could make out three shadowy figures standing far down the tunnel, the numbers and letters of their ID codes shining out in the darkness. They didn't seem to have realized that Ben and his small company were not fellow members of the police force. Not yet, anyway.

Without waiting for a signal, Rey deactivated her saber and started forward, drawing on the dark side. She strode right between the guards, not even bothering to turn her head to look at them. There was a slight twitch of her fingers as her voice carried back towards Ben, bouncing from the walls in brief echoes.

"You know us," she said in the strange tone of a mind trick. "You are not concerned that we are here. You will not sound the alarm."

"We won't sound the alarm," muttered one of the guards.

"I'm not concerned, are you?" said another, turning to the man standing next to him.

"No," replied the other.

Rey walked on to another great steel door at the end of the passage. With a wave of her hand, it slid from its place with the sharp hiss of pneumatics. She disappeared through the doorway with scarcely a noise, Ben following close on her heels with Jai and Tal at his back. When he stepped through after her, Ben found himself at a crossway. Two tunnels branched to the left and right while one continued straight ahead. Rey stood at the center, head turning one way, then the other.

"It's the left passage," Tal said from behind Ben, holding up a nav-computer that flashed a bright green through the murk.

They turned left, passing prisoners lounging in many-barred cells. A few called out, but most kept silent. Ben supposed it was either because they were asleep or because they knew no help would come from the strangers passing through their realm with the same silence as the oppressive shadows.

It was the silence that bothered him. He let the Force drift around him, stretching himself out into the dimness to sense the presence of enemies. He could feel them somewhere nearby, drawing closer. Rey, too, had her head cocked to one side, listening hard.

"They're close," she whispered. "I don't know how big of a group it is, but I know it's more than one."

Jai nodded his agreement, and Ben could feel the dark side beginning to take a hold on the knight, cloaking him in cold blackness like the clouds before a winter storm. Anger and fear for the children under his care drove the man forward and past Rey so that he was the first of the group to round the next corner.

"Back!" came his warning shout a moment later, followed by the high staccato of blaster fire. "Get _back_!"

Red bolts struck the wall and Ben saw the orange flash of Jai's saber reflecting from the smooth floor. Before he could grab Rey to keep her back, she was around the corner, her saber drawn and crackling. With a low curse, Ben leapt after her. A guard met him, blaster up and pointed between Ben's eyes. Ben ducked and thrust his saber up and through the man's chest until he could see the blade protruding from between his shoulder blades. Rey was dodging about beside him, using her saber to deflect bolts of plasma back among the guards in between her deadly strokes. Jai, too, had a man skewered on his saber.

Tal swung around the corner, dropped to a knee and began picking off guards with his blaster. Ben felt a few of the trooper's shots getting a little too close as he pulled his saber free and turned back into the fray. He sought out Rey's shape in the gloom and darted to her aid, jumping over a guard as the man fell with a hole in his chest from Tal's blaster.

They were back to back, as they had once been in Snoke's throne room. But it was different this time. This time, Ben could feel the same darkness within Rey that dwelled inside his own mind. Their thoughts flowed freely between them, traveling through the bond without their conscious realization. This time there was no light to call to him. Ben had only a dim awareness of something closing in over his head. The dark side rolled over him, washing him like a cold tide.

But it wasn't him.

Rey's eyes were wild and yellow as she wrenched at the Force around her. For the briefest of moments, there was only a flicker of light around her fingers. In that one half-second, he understood her intent, even as Rey herself realized what she was about to do. Lightning split the darkness around them, leaping from man to man, its lethal arcs lighting the corridor about them. Jai and Tal ducked away from the bolts, but Ben remained frozen, watching the destruction.

With a crack like thunder, the lightning disappeared and the last few guards toppled to the ground. The rumble reverberated around them for a few seconds longer, shaking the air. Rey stood in the midst of it all, legs trembling beneath her, gazing at nothing. As he watched, she sank to her knees, arms clutched tight to her chest and dazed eyes holding only pain. Ben stared down at her, his shock at the unexpected display of strength paralyzing him.

Slowly, awareness eased back into Rey's eyes even as the yellow coloration drained away. They flickered closed and Ben sensed her drawing on the Force. The blistered and blackened skin grew pink and knit together until all that remained of the wounds were myriad scars that curled over her hands to disappear under the dark sleeves of her tunic.

"And you told _me_ not to draw attention," Jai muttered darkly, glancing about at the carnage.

"There's no way that went unnoticed," said Tal. "The sewers are our best option now."

"I can hear them," Rey said, her voice low and faint. "There's more coming. More than this group."

Ben slid an arm under hers and helped her struggle to her feet. She leaned hard against him for a few minutes as they hurried back through the tunnels. Jai was searching the ground, looking for a hatch that led into the sewers. Rey's anxiety grew as they walked, and Ben began to sense another large group approaching. The sound of many booted feet grew in the passage behind them. There was a sudden shout and a clamor of agitated voices.

"They just found their dead," Tal said.

"There," Jai hissed at the same moment, pointing to a small maintenance hatch whose cover was level with the floor.

He wormed his fingers into a hole on one side and pulled. A dark hole yawned at their feet, metal rungs along one side to lead them down into the belly of the city. Ben felt a shiver go through Rey as she stared down into the blackness. There was something about it that set him on edge too, though he couldn't place the origin of his unease, and he blinked as memories that weren't his own flashed through his mind.

Ahch-To. A cave full of mirrors that revealed nothing but her own face in a cruel mockery of what she most desired to see. A shadowed world where lightning flashed almost continually, and a figure shrouded in darkness.

Dreams and reality tangled uselessly, interwoven and overlapping so he could not tell one from another. He didn't try to understand them. They were out of time. The angry voices were getting closer and Rey still stood frozen on the edge of descent, the dark side beginning to build around her as it fed on her fear.

Tal was already at the bottom with Jai. It was only them now. He gestured towards the ladder, glancing over her to make sure the guards hadn't rounded the corner.

"Go, Rey. I'll be right behind you."

Pale faced and shaking, she managed to nod once before swinging herself down into the shadows. Ben followed her, sliding the maintenance cover back into place so they left no evidence of their escape. He could feel her apprehension growing as she descended deeper into the earth. The fear was draining her, but she clung stubbornly to the last scraps of her strength and resolve as their feet came to rest on solid stone.

There, at what seemed to be the bottom of the world, Ben reached out for her, taking her hand in his as they took their first steps along a path that only led them deeper into the darkness.


	34. Chapter 34: Rey

A/N: Hey all! Hope you're doing well and staying healthy!

I wanted to give a shout out to all you lovely folks who continue to read as well as y'all who continue to follow/favorite/review. You have no idea how much of a difference it makes for all of us aspiring writers:) Thank you so much for the encouragement and the motivation to keep going! I owe a lot of this story to you all. I also owe so much to my beta Leona2016 (thank you so much for all of your help with everything! I truly am growing as a writer because of you), and to my ideas man FenrisInside (dude, seriously, I'm kind of in awe of your military/weaponry/historical knowledge and want to thank you so much for graciously bestowing it on me lol).

To be dead honest, I'm a bit nervous about this chapter. We're about to shift gears a bit, but I hope it's not too disappointing and that you like it! I'd love to hear what you have to think for or against the plot decision. Feel free to leave a review or PM me with your opinions or any constructive criticism you might have.

Anyway...take care until next time!

-Emmeth

* * *

Rey staggered through the sewers after Ben. Exhaustion gnawed at her, eating away at her strength. Her limbs trembled with it, threatening to send her crashing into the ankle-deep water running at their feet. Her nightmares were close again, clinging to the corners of her mind as they had for weeks. As they had ever since Mela's vision and her warning. The dark sewer mirrored their deeper darkness and she fought back the images that had begun to plague her even in waking life.

Their shadows cast a pall over her thoughts, and she shuddered. She could still see them: figures hooded in black and chanting strange words, a throne haloed in twisted rays of stone and illuminated by forks of lightning, a black shrouded figure whose cold voice called her name; it all flooded back in no matter how hard she tried to shut it out. She shivered again, wrapping her arms close about her stomach, from where the creeping cold always emerged. It seemed that she was always cold now. Always blundering about in the darkness. Ben didn't know. He didn't need to know. The dreams were her burden to bear.

Ahead of her, Jai and Tal stopped and consulted Tal's nav-computer before taking a right turn down a side passage. She followed, treading carefully on the uneven footing. Her boot slid on a loose stone and she stumbled. Ben's hand caught her around the waist before she could fall and she clung to him for a moment in the darkness, steadying herself with the warmth of his strong arms. In the next moment they were gone, and she was standing alone again in the cold of her thoughts and the dark of the sewer.

The tunnels began to feel as if they went on forever, and Rey lost any sense of the passing of time. It seemed that the slosh of water at her feet had always been present and that she'd never known such a thing as light or heat. She was isolated- cut off from all that she loved by the all-consuming blackness that surrounded her. More than anything, she longed to close her eyes and fall into the oblivion of a sleep without dreams. At least then her mind could be still for a precious few minutes.

They were about to make another turn when a small noise grabbed Rey's attention. It was different than the splash of water, or the low murmurs of her companions. It was a quiet sound, somewhere far off down the tunnel. At the same moment, the Force tugged at her, dragging her awareness in the direction of the disturbance. Someone was crying.

"Do you hear that?" Ben asked, his curiosity sparking along with her own.

Rey crept forward hesitantly, following the sound, with Ben at her back. Ripples caught the red light of their sabers, spreading ahead of them down the tunnel. Somewhere out in the blackness beyond the dim light, there was a gasp. Something splashed and Rey caught sight of a pale foot as it was pulled into a small crevice.

"Ben," she breathed, grasping her forearm. "Ben, did you see that?"

"I saw it."

Rey took a careful step forward and knelt on the cold stone, water soaking into her breeches as she peered into the crack. Something scuffled in the darkness and Rey caught the faint noise of breath hissing rapidly through clenched teeth. The music of the Force around her went out of key and there was a brief pressure against her mind as the being huddled in the small crevice struggled to turn her focus away. She pushed back, gently, weaving the notes of her song with the new music coming from the fissure in the wall. The breathing slowed and the shrill notes of anxiety lowered by a fraction.

"It's alright," Ben murmured behind her. "Come out of there."

Someone crept slowly forward. A small someone. A young boy in an old, slightly flattened cap stepped out into the light from their sabers. He eyed the weapons, shrinking away from them and back toward the safety of his hiding place.

"It's alright," Rey repeated. "We won't hurt you. You don't have to be afraid."

The child stared at her but didn't say anything. Rey edged a little closer and stretched out her hand to take the boy's. His fingers were dirty and overly warm and when she looked closer at him, she saw that his clothing had done little to keep off the damp of the sewers. He shook with chills and his eyes held the half-glazed look of a high fever.

"What's your name?" she asked in a soft voice.

"Temiri," he said. "Temiri Blagg."

"Where are your parents?"

"Haven't got any," he rasped. "They sold me a long time ago."

Rey's stomach twisted and she winced with the pain of the boy's words. Memories prodded at her mind, trying to open the door she'd shut on them. She closed her eyes and took a breath of the sour air of the sewers, fighting back the old dark thoughts.

"What are you doing down here?" Ben asked.

"Hiding."

"From the fighting?"

"From monsters," the boy whispered, cowering down and trying to wrench himself free of Rey's grasp to disappear back into the hole.

"What monsters?" Rey asked.

The boy only shook his head, tugging harder against her restraining hand. Rey let go, allowing him to dart into the shadows again.

"What do we do?" she asked. "He's going to die if he stays here for much longer. He's already sick."

"We'll take him with us," Ben said, glancing over her shoulder toward the boy's hiding place. "Obviously he's terrified of something here. I can't imagine he'd be any less safe with us than he would be if we left him."

"And how do we explain him to Tal and the other troopers?" she asked in a low voice. "We can't tell them the truth- not when Snoke's still hunting them."

"He's an orphan we picked up on the way and he's going to be taken to one of the training ships to become a trooper."

"But instead we'll take him to Mela's ship?"

"No. Corann's. He'll do better there to start out, especially if he's sick. Corann's the best of us when it comes to healing."

Rey looked back toward Temiri, huddled deep inside the wall. She crouched down once more, extending her hand toward the terrified boy.

"How would you like to leave this place?" she asked.

"You mean it?" came the little voice, high pitched and tight with fear. "Away from the monsters?"

"Far away from the monsters," Rey said.

"Is there food?"

Rey's heart broke for the boy. His three words told her infinitely more than any story he might have woven. She could remember the same question haunting her in her childhood days. Hunger was the only constant companion she'd known and a sensation that drove her to take chances with her life during scavenging runs. A hungry child was a desperate child. No one knew that as well as she did.

"There's food," she said.

"There are other children there, too," Ben said. "Children like you."

Temiri poked his head from the fissure, fear etching lines in his young face.

"Are you like me too?" he asked.

Rey smiled gently and twitched her fingers toward the boy. The cap flew from his head and landed in her outstretched hand. She held it out to him, and he took it with an expression of awe. He pulled it back over his dark hair and crept further from the crevice. Rey took his hot little hand gently in hers and led him back down the tunnel toward the glow of Jai's lightsaber with Ben following close at their heels.

"This is Jai and Tal," Rey murmured to the boy. "They're here to help us."

The boy nodded solemnly but didn't speak. Tal glanced at Ben, questions in his eyes, then looked back to the small figure at Rey's side.

"A new recruit," Ben said in explanation. "He'll go to the nearest training ship."

Jai nodded slowly, then faster as Rey saw understanding spark in him.

"And how do you propose we get him there?" the knight asked. "It's not like we can drag him around in the middle of a battle."

"I'll take him," Rey said. "I don't think I can go much further anyway, and I'm going to be next to useless in a fight. I'm just a hindrance now."

Ben didn't voice his agreement aloud, but she felt his rush of relief. She'd known he hadn't wanted her to come from the beginning. It had annoyed her then, but she understood after a day of battle. The last few months had drained her of her old strength, leaving her exhausted and weak. Lack of sleep and the never-ending tension had long since taken their toll. At least the nearly constant nausea was gone. It had faded just in time for her to avoid the dreaded med-bay visit.

"When we get to the spaceport, we'll get you a ship," Ben said. "You know the coordinates?"

Rey nodded, drawing Temiri closer against her side. The boy seemed to melt against her, burrowing his face into her tunic. The unexpected display of trust surprised her, but not in an unpleasant way. A familiar warmth curled in her when she looked towards Ben. She shook her head, blinking away the impossible thought before it could take root in her mind.

They began to move again, trudging through the water and slime, with Tal occasionally consulting his nav-computer for directions. Water trickled from the walls and dripped from the roof, the drops loud in the silence. Temiri stuck close to her side, weaving a little as he walked. Occasionally, Rey would be forced to stop as a coughing fit wracked the child's small body, leaving him gagging and gasping for air. The longer they walked, the more often he stumbled, until Rey took pity and lifted him onto her back. When she did, it surprised her to feel how little he weighed. They went on, hours seeming to pass them by without light to mark them.

At last, they came to a spot in the tunnel with more iron rungs projecting from the walls. Tal stopped in front of them and craned his neck upwards.

"This is our stop," he said.

Jai ascended first and lifted the grate, poking his head into the open and looking about.

"All clear," he hissed down to them before climbing through the hole and out into the world beyond with Tal following close behind.

"Hold tight," Ben said as he took Temiri from Rey and hitched the boy high on his back.

The youngling wrapped his arms around Ben's neck, tightening his grip as Ben began to climb. Rey hauled herself up behind them, hand over hand, the rusty metal digging into her sore palms. Every movement sent spasms of pain through the blaster wound at her ribs. She crawled through the hole seconds after Ben, breathing hard and blinking in the strong light beyond the grating. The space that opened around them was wide and long and it was swarming with people. Rey's first instinct was to dart back into the sewers, but Tal's shout stopped her.

"Sim! You made it!"

"Really, Captain," the woman said, grinning as she came forward and clasped his arm, "you wound me. Don't act so surprised."

"I'm putting your name in for a promotion."

With relief, Rey noticed that the people surrounding them wore the white armor of stormtroopers and the gray uniforms of mechanics. She even thought she caught a glimpse of Lita hauling a small cart full of spare parts towards a grounded TIE.

"Where are we?" she asked.

"An underground hangar in the spaceport," Sim said. "The docking bay is above us."

"How did you get here?" Rey asked.

"Same way you did," Sim said, grinning and looking down at her filthy boots, then back to Rey. "What's with the kid?"

"Found him," Rey said, smoothly, the lie Ben told coming easily to her lips. "I'm going to take him to one of the training ships."

Sim's smile left her face to be replaced by a wary look.

"New recruit?" she asked, something in her voice telling Rey to be careful what she said next.

"His parents sold him," she explained. "He doesn't have shelter or food. We figured he'd have a better chance on one of the ships."

Sim's expression softened by a fraction, but a consuming sadness still lurked within its depths.

"Hope he's tougher than he looks," she muttered.

"You haven't left the access hatches unguarded, have you?" Tal broke in. "The Resistance is going to figure out that's how we got through their blockade."

"She didn't," Jai said, "I had about six blasters pointed at me when I lifted the grating."

He threw Sim an admiring look and a smile that she quickly returned. Rey glanced from the knight to the ships huddling in alcoves delved into the walls. Temiri pressed closer into her side, fingers silently reaching for her sleeve and grasping it in a tight fist.

In the bright light, Rey got her first good look at him. He was covered in filth with two spots of red high in his cheeks, his shock of dark brown hair slicked close to his head with perspiration. Rey felt his forehead and the child leaned into her palm, his eyes drifting closed as he swayed. She caught him before he could topple forward and crouched next to him, half gathering him into her arms. His skin was burning under her fingers, the fever having grown worse in the short time since they'd found him.

"Ben," she murmured, edging her tone with the slightest pressure from the Force.

His attention immediately snapped to her and took in the small boy she cradled against her chest. He nodded and turned to Sim.

"We need a ship- one with a hyperdrive."

Sim rubbed her chin, scrutinizing the ships spread before her; most of them damaged.

"I think I've got an SF fighter that's in working order," she said as she glanced at Temiri. "It'll have a harness for the kid too. Can you pilot something like that?"

"If it's anything like the old v1, then yes," said Rey. "I found a simulation program back on Jakku that had that model."

"Same basic principle," Sim said, cocking a thumb over her shoulder to a brightly lit tunnel at the end of the chamber. "That's the exit that will bring you out on the west side of the spaceport. Just be careful, you're going to attract some attention."

Rey nodded her understanding as Ben leaned down and hoisted Temiri into his arms. She followed him towards the fighter, trying to ignore the way her body ached with fatigue as she crawled through the hatch, raising her arms for the child. It took everything in her not to gasp aloud when she felt the boy's ribs digging into her through his worn shirt. Ben peered down at them, his expression revealing nothing of the horror and disgust that had flared at his own realization.

"You have the coordinates for Corann's transport?" he asked as she strapped the boy into the gunner's chair.

"Yeah. He should be in the Sumitra sector, right?"

Ben nodded.

"He's orbiting Thustra. Comm him once you get close. He'll guide you in."

Rey stared at him for a long moment, then carefully reached her hand up to catch his. The calluses there were warm and familiar against her palm and she found that she didn't want to let him go.

"Watch your back," she said.

He gave her the smallest of smiles as he leaned forward and brushed a kiss over her knuckles. The heat of his breath sent something like electricity tingling over her skin. She shivered a little as warmth flooded into her. Unexpectedly, the strange music was there again in the back of her mind, its low lilting notes bringing terror with them. She quickly pushed it away. Its melody had been following her; haunting her like her dreams, for weeks now. It would come back. It always did. It wove itself into her dreams and half-wakenings, singing to her when her mind was least guarded against it. But she couldn't think of that now. She _wouldn't_.

"I'll see you soon," Ben whispered.

They rested there in the quiet, hands clasped and minds twining, just breathing. Then someone called Ben's name from outside the TIE and his fingers slipped from hers, leaving her feeling cold and alone. He was gone in a few heartbeats and she sealed the hatch behind him before she took her place at the controls.

Reaching up, she flicked several switches above her head. Red light glowed from the control panel and the TIE purred to life. In spite of everything, Rey felt a rush of exhilaration. It was good to be flying again. She eased the throttle forward and the TIE shuddered out of its alcove with the high whine of the ion engines.

 _Be safe, Rey._

The whisper curled around her and for a moment she thought she felt the ghost of Ben's fingers trailing through hers. But the sensation vanished, and the echoes died, and she was accelerating along the tunnel towards a black sky that flickered with stars.

The TIE shot out into the night, skimming over the rooftops of the city's lower levels. Rey hauled back on the yoke and the TIE nosed upward. She settled herself a little more firmly in her seat and reached over to jam the thruster forward. The TIE responded to her touch without hesitation, screaming towards the atmosphere. Behind her, Temiri began to whimper.

"It's alright," soothed Rey. "We're going to be fine."

At that same moment, there was a prickle along her spine. She jerked the yoke sideways, sending the TIE spinning off to the right just as a red bolt of plasma streaked past the wing. Rey swore and pulled back on the thruster, slowing the TIE's ascent. A light flashed on the control panel and a proximity alarm started buzzing as the pursuing x-wing roared past her. Rey set her jaw and punched the thruster, accelerating after the starfighter.

"Get out of my way," she hissed as she flicked the switch to engage the deflector shields.

Her fingers flew across the controls, arming the laser cannons. Ahead of her, the x-wing banked and shot upwards. Rey followed, accelerating even as she gained altitude. For a moment, she closed her eyes, drawing on the Force around her. It tugged on her and she obeyed, pressing her thumbs against the trigger switches. Two green bolts of plasma burst from the cannons, painting the x-wing's aft end. Half a second later, fire blossomed from the craft and it spun away into the night, trailing smoke and sparks. Rey gritted her teeth, ignoring the brief spasm of guilt, and pushed the TIE into a faster climb.

She broke through the atmosphere with a sigh of relief and glanced back over her shoulder to the gunner's chair.

"You okay back there Temiri?" she asked.

There was no answer and when she twisted farther, she saw a pale arm dangling limply over the edge of the seat. Rey bit her lip and turned back toward the controls, quickly entering the coordinates for the Thustra system into the flight computer. It beeped its acknowledgement and Rey threw the lever for the hyperdrive. An instant later and the bright points of light stretched to become brilliant lines of blue fire streaking past outside her viewport.

She leaned back and took a deep breath, finally allowing the pain and exhaustion to gain a foothold. Her limbs felt like lead, and a deep ache settled into her overstrained muscles. Her side burned where the blaster bolt had clipped her and she pressed her hand to the place, fingers exploring the rough scab. It could have been a lot worse. Her hand slipped down to rest beside her and her eyes drifted shut, but she didn't sleep. In the stillness between worlds, Rey's mind was anything but silent.

Her eyes flew open again as the computer chirped a warning that she was nearing her destination. She rubbed her cold fingers over her face and took up the steering yoke just as the TIE dropped out of hyperspace. A planet loomed suddenly before her, its mottled yellows and greens broken by the brown of broad mountain ranges. For a moment, her curiosity drew her toward the spinning world. Then Temiri gave a hacking cough and she remembered why she'd come.

She hit the button to activate the comm and entered the code Ben had given her. A few seconds later, an unfamiliar voice crackled through the ship.

"Identify yourself."

"My name is Rey-" she started.

There was a short exhalation, as if the speaker on the other end had sighed.

"Rey, thank the Force. Kylo sent a message that you were on your way."

"I'm coming from Cantonica with a young boy. I know you're near Thustra, but I need your exact coordinates."

The speaker rattled off a few numbers which Rey proceeded to program into the flight computer.

"Be advised, I'm flying a TIE sf," she said. "It was all we had with a hyperdrive."

"Copy. We'll meet you in the hangar. You're clear for landing."

"Roger."

Rey clicked off the communication and focused on guiding the TIE on its path toward the flashing dot that indicated Corann's ship. The planet curved away beneath her, and she couldn't resist watching the soft white clouds swirling through the atmosphere in their infinitely varying patterns as she flew by.

A few minutes passed before she caught sight of the transport through the viewport. It neared at a rapid pace and before she knew it, she was edging her TIE into the landing bay. It looked surprisingly familiar- so like Cy and Mela's ship that she expected to see the woman's blonde hair and wide smile as the TIE settled to the floor. Instead, her eyes caught and fixed on a shock of red hair. For a horrific moment, she thought it was Hux. But a second later, she nearly laughed with relief when the man turned, and the illusion evaporated. Beneath his red hair, the knight's face was covered in a thick mass of freckles, and his eyes, though an ice blue similar to Hux's, were kind, with a keen intelligence that might have been intimidating if his face wasn't lined with concern.

He climbed onto the TIE and was scrambling over the roof as Rey stood and opened the hatch. She unbelted Temiri and lifted the boy into her arms. He let out a soft moan and wrapped his arms and legs around her, clinging fast.

"Wake up, Temiri," Rey murmured to him. "We're here."

The boy didn't say anything, just wrapped his arms tighter around her neck. As he did, the knight's head appeared in the open hatch, upside down as he peered through.

"You must be Rey," he said, extending a hand. "I'm Corann."

"Good to meet you."

"Kylo said you were bringing a boy with you and that he was sick. Is this him?"

"Yeah," Rey said. "We found him in the sewers with a bad fever. It's only gotten worse,"

"Better get him to the med bay then. I'm going to need to get a good look at him and I don't want anyone else exposed."

She nodded and Corann reached down, prying the child free from her arms. She pulled herself free of the TIE and slid down to the floor before she held out her arms for the boy again. Corann shook his head.

"You look worn out. I'll take him."

"Thanks," said Rey, gratefully.

She stumbled after the knight, focusing on keeping herself upright as they crossed the hangar. Corann was tall- taller even than Ben, and she found that she had to trot to keep up with him. Temiri lay quiet and still in his arms, pale faced and soaked with sweat. Rey studied the boy as she walked, wondering if they'd made it in time. He was so small and so thin.

As they traveled through the maze of corridors, Rey's mind began to drift away, lost somewhere in pain and a desperate need for sleep. Her legs began to go numb and a wave of dizziness rolled over her. She staggered on, feet seeming to tangle with one another. Just as she felt sure she would not be able to go further without a rest, the knight stopped before a door. He scanned his palm and it slid back to reveal a white room that smelled of antiseptic and steel.

Rey saw several droids hovering next to a long table full of glass vials and silver instruments. A man she recognized sat behind it, scribbling busily on a datapad. She narrowed her eyes, her exhausted mind struggling to place him as she scrutinized his features. The memory came clear with the same surge of pain it always did.

 _The Resistance. Leia. Ben's knight she'd first met on Abafar._

"Decha?" she asked, incredulous.

The man looked up and grinned.

"Rey!" he exclaimed. "It's good to see you. What are you doing here?"

"I'm a delivery girl," she said, nodding to Temiri.

Decha's smile faded and he came out from behind his work bench to examine the boy.

"Sick?"

"Yes," said Corann, setting the boy down on one of the tables. "and deathly thin. Now back off. He's most likely contagious and I haven't the faintest clue what he's carrying."

Corann drew up a thick white liquid in a syringe and started to work Temiri's frayed pant leg above the boy's knee. Temiri mumbled something while the knight swabbed his skin with an antiseptic, then jerked and tried to pull away as Corann plunged the needle into his thigh. The knight held him fast, deftly injecting the medication even as the boy struggled and began to cry.

"What was that?" Rey asked, collapsing onto a stool.

"A gamut of antibiotics, antivirals, antifungals and something to reduce his fever," Corann said, drawing up another syringe. "Give me your arm."

"Why?"

"You've been exposed to whatever it is he has. When you see Kylo, tell him he's going to need a course of broad-spectrums as soon as possible. I'm trying to nip a pandemic in the bud here."

Obediently, Rey rolled up her sleeve to expose her shoulder. Corann doused her with antiseptic and quickly stuck the needle into her arm. It burned. Rey winced and rubbed at the spot, trying to dispel the lingering ache. Corann scrubbed his own arm and injected himself with the same medication with a grimace.

"Force help me," he muttered as he turned back towards the steel tray of instruments, "who _knows_ what he picked up down there."

When he faced her again, he was drawing up a new medication.

"What's that?" Rey repeated.

"Sedative," Corann muttered. "I'm going to have to take samples and run a few scans. It's easier if they sleep right through it."

Temiri flinched at the bite of the needle, but his sobs soon faded as the medication took hold. He quieted, curling onto his side, and breathing like a sleeper. Rey's thoughts began to slip again as she watched, and she found her vision sliding out of focus. She jumped when Corann put a hand on her shoulder, coming fully back to herself.

"There's a refresher down the hall. You're going to want to scrub after traipsing around in that sewer for hours, especially with that wound. I'll send a droid in with clean clothes for you. What you've got on now is going to the incinerator."

Rey glanced down at herself, realizing just how filthy she was. Her boots were covered in slime and other things at which she didn't want to guess. Her tunic was dusty and stiff with blood near the rip torn by the bolt of plasma, speckled with mud and still damp with sweat. Even her skin lay hidden beneath a thin layer of grime.

"Thank you," she said. "You don't have to-"

"Yes, I do," Corann interrupted. "I've been charged with protecting the younglings under my care. You, little sister, are a walking, talking biohazard. Draw what conclusions you will."

The vehemence with which the knight spoke put Rey off balance. She tried to smile, but it was an uncertain, shaky thing.

"Don't take it personally," Decha remarked from behind his tubes and vials. "It's his mission in life to eradicate every major illness in the known universe. Every time someone sneezes, he thinks it's the pandemic that will bring about the end of the galaxy."

Corann scowled at Decha, but Rey's smile spread a bit wider and she let out a half-hearted chuckle.

"Well, I do appreciate the offer," she said. "Thanks."

Corann nodded once before turning back to Temiri's still form on the table. Rey made for the shower, glancing back in time to see several droids clustering around the table, Corann's red hair a brilliant flame at their center.

She slid the door shut and stood looking at the room before her. It was utilitarian, at best: a mirror above a small sink that stood next to the toilet and a little alcove in the wall for the shower. She couldn't have cared less.

The water pounded against her back, its heat easing the pain of nearly twelve full hours of battle and six more of running for her life. Her mind, drifting free from worry for a few precious moments, seemed to float with the transport among the stars. The world beneath them echoed with songs, its melodies twisting off into the emptiness between worlds. She could hear them, but they weren't as they had once been- even the memory of them slipping away as she tried to grasp it. It seemed like there was something between her and the music, cutting her off and muffling the beauty she so longed to hear. Separating her from the light side.

But she couldn't go back. It had turned its back on her, and so she had turned on it. That chasm was too deep for her to cross.

She stepped out of the shower and dressed, scrubbing at her wet hair with a towel even as she listened to the dim music around her, sadness and a desperate hunger clinging fast. Without quite knowing how it had happened, she found that the strange song she'd been pushing away all day had swelled and overwhelmed all others. This time, its music was almost a relief. It seemed the only real melody among a cacophony of hazy, half-blurred notes.

She let it wash over her, listening with a kind of anguished fascination. It began as a small trill- a short series of notes she could barely tell apart from her own music. But the longer she concentrated on it, the louder and more insistent the little song became. For the first time since she'd begun to sense it, she did not close herself off to it, instead allowing herself to explore and discover its smallest intricacies. As she listened, the music took on a melody unique unto itself, yet still like to hers in certain ways; as with the little runs of notes sprinkled through the song that she recognized as hers. It throbbed in her ears, taking on a pulsing beat that she could sense beneath the melody- something that seemed to drive the music itself…

She gasped in recognition, fingers clenching tight around the sink edge.

Her white, terrified face stared back at her from the mirror. The truth was a fist that had closed around her throat. She couldn't move. She couldn't speak. She couldn't breathe. Her mind flew backwards, tracing the time. How long had it been since she'd bled? Months, at least. She hadn't been concerned those first few weeks. After all, such things had happened before. She'd told herself it was the training. The daily, grueling combat lessons and sparring with Ben. Yet the time had run past as sand through her fingers and she'd begun to suspect; the long weeks of sickness raising memories of things Hausis had told her as a girl. But even then, she'd silenced her fears and denied the music for what it was, convincing herself that it was just the months of tension taking its toll on her body.

But now, she could no longer ignore it.

The music she'd struggled to banish from her mind was singing out around her, clear and pure and unmistakable. It pulsed within her and filled her with a dizzying mixture of dread and elation. Feeling as though her legs would no longer support her, she sank to her knees, forehead pressed against the cool porcelain of the sink as she fought to keep the tears at bay. The music still hummed through her, and she sensed again the pulse behind it- a rapid fluttering like the beating of a bird's wings.

Slowly, hand trembling, she released the sink and reached down until her fingers rested against her abdomen. How could she not have realized? How had she not seen? It seemed like such a foolish thing now to have blinded herself to the changes she'd begun to notice within herself over the last months. As her hand traveled down, she felt the first traces of a swelling. She froze there, one hand clenched around the sink edge, the other pressed tight to her stomach. For the first time since the terrible suspicion invaded her mind, she saw clearly the truth and accepted it as such.

She was carrying a child. Ben's child. _Their_ child.


	35. Chapter 35: Ben

A/N: Hey everybody! Sorry this chapter is a bit late in coming... I was stuck on a future chapter again and then I was out of town for a bit without a chance to sit down and really try to hash it out. But, better late than never, as the old expression goes. Thanks to everyone who followed/favorited/reviewed this story- again, you amazing people keep me writing. Thanks also to FenrisInside and Leona2016, both of whom have helped me immensely with this chapter and those before (and those after). Y'all rock!

Thanks again to everyone and hope you all are staying healthy and safe. Take care of yourselves until next time!

 _RedPandaJoy: *bows* your wish is my command;)_

* * *

Ben let out his breath in a rush that was lost in the high whine of the TIE's engines as the ship disappeared up the tunnel. She would be safe. Her weariness had grown apparent in the hours since they'd found Temiri, though it had still surprised him when she'd openly admitted it and offered to take the boy to Corann's transport. He'd known, then, how deep her exhaustion truly ran.

Now that he was in the safety of Canto Bight's spaceport, the adrenaline that had been coursing through him for hours beginning to drain away, his own body began to ache with fatigue. Jai noticed him stumble and took a step forward, reaching to steady him.

"You alright?"

"Yeah," Ben said, brushing him off. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"We should all find a spot to stretch out and get some rest for a couple of hours," Sim said around a yawn. "Reinforcements came in an hour or two ago, so my platoon is trying to get some sleep before we go out again. The only reason I'm still standing here is because I was waiting to see if you lot turned up."

" _If_ we turned up?" Tal said, with a wry smile. "Is that all the faith you have in your commanding officer?"

Sim cracked a grin and shrugged.

"There are bunks in a room back there," she said, pointing to the far side of the hangar. "If you can find one, it's yours. Or curl up somewhere else, if you like."

Ben nodded gratefully, staggering toward the room Sim had indicated, already half asleep. Jai stuck to him, the knight's eyes as bleary as his own. How was it that war could thrill them one moment and drain them the next? Eighteen hours since the battle began. Longer since he'd slept. Had it been a full day? He couldn't remember.

He collapsed on the cot without even bothering to remove his filth-encrusted boots. They hung off the end anyway- what difference did it make? He didn't even register the thin blanket against his cheek before his eyes flickered shut and he was claimed by the world of his dreams.

 _..._

 _Ben walked in darkness, blind to his surroundings. He stretched out an arm, startling when his palm met cold stone._

 _"Where am I?" he asked._

 _His voice rang as if a great space had opened around him. Lightning split the sky, filtering down through crevices cut in the rock above and illuminating the cavern in an eerie blue-green light. Something about the place seemed familiar, but he couldn't place it._

 _A soft chuckle sent the hair on his neck upright and he spun, reaching for the saber at his belt._

 _"Who are you?" he shouted._

 _The familiar voice laughed again. Ben's fingers went tight around the hilt of his weapon._

 _"The bane of your grandfather, perhaps," said the voice. "Or his salvation. It depends on how you look at things."_

 _Ben backed against the wall, saber brandished in front of him._

 _"What do you want?"_

 _"What I always have. You could aid me- you could rise and become a new Vader."_

 _Ben shook his head._

 _"No."_

 _"No?" repeated the voice, amusement dancing in its undertones. "You used to crave his strength."_

 _"What do you know of my desires?" Ben growled, his anger fighting to overcome the terror that clawed at him._

 _"More than you know," replied the voice. "My boy, you can hide nothing from me. I know of the scavenger and of the bond between you."_

 _"You won't have her," Ben shot back, dread making his skin crawl. "I won't let you."_

 _"But I already do," said the voice, chuckling again. "I have you, don't I, son of darkness. If I have you, then I can reach her."_

 _Ben's heart stuttered in his chest, fear freezing his blood._

 _"What do you want with her?"_

 _"She is of me. I seek only to reclaim what is mine."_

"Kylo. Wake up."

Ben jerked awake to find Jai staring down at him.

His heart pounded against his ribs and his breaths came in sharp gasps. A constricting terror wrapped itself around his throat, drawing tight. Disoriented, he flung out an arm to steady himself on the side of the cot. Ghosts played before his eyes, half images shimmering in the low light. He saw the shadowy figure of Rey kneeling, hands clamped over her mouth, eyes squeezed shut as sobs wracked her thin shoulders. He reached out for her, but before his fingers brushed against her tunic, her eyes snapped open and met his. They went wide in surprise and fear and then, abruptly, she was gone. There was a deep emptiness to the air around him and in his mind that told him she'd cut herself off again.

He hated it but couldn't deny that he was relieved. The voice in his dreams was too near- the low chuckle and the arrogance of the claim that it would find Rey and reclaim her. Ben blinked his gritty eyes and tried to sort through the jumble of his thoughts. Was the dream another warning from the Force? If it was, who or what was it warning against? Snoke? But it hadn't sounded like Snoke. Not exactly.

Ben felt Jai's hand on his shoulder and glanced up at the knight's worried expression.

"Are you alright?"

"Fine. Just a nightmare," Ben said, working his jaw as he tried to acclimate to the sensation of being alone in his own head again; both Rey's presence and the strange voice now silenced. "What's going on?"

"We're getting ready to move out. Tal got a report that the Resistance is trying to evacuate the planet. From what he told me there's a large group of them heading for the far side of the city. Sounds like they have a few temporary bases set up and several transports there. That's where the x-wings have been coming from, but we haven't been able to get close. That'll be our job. Everything else is up to the TIEs."

Ben nodded, slinging his legs over the side of the cot. The barracks had become a hive of activity around him, troopers tugging on helmets and checking blasters. He rubbed his hands over his face and let out a long breath.

"How long did I sleep?"

"An hour, maybe less. Tal just got the message."

Ben nodded, still groggy, and groped at his side for his saber before he found it, still clipped to his belt. His muscles cried out in protest as he got to his feet, bringing him fully into waking. He'd forgotten just how old war made him feel. He ignored it, and the stiffness and aching eased away gradually, each step coming a little easier as he followed Jai out the door and back into battle.

...

Ben ducked to one side as a plasma bolt blew chips of stone back at him as it took a chunk out of the building behind him. He swore through his teeth, blinking away dust and shards of clay. He deflected another bolt into the ground and strode forward, one arm raised before him. A shining streak of plasma froze before him in the air, crackling and hissing like his saber. Jai surged ahead, running for the wall behind which the Resistance had barricaded themselves. The knight flung something high over the structure, then quickly ran back toward Ben. An explosion rocked the earth a few seconds later and there were shouts and cries of pain from the enemy.

Blaster fire rained around them and several TIEs screamed by overhead, firing down on the Resistance ships beyond the wall. The reinforcements had made all the difference. They'd managed to oust the Resistance from their positions, gaining footholds in the city until they'd backed the rebels into a corner. Albeit a corner with an escape route, but that was what the TIEs were for.

Behind them, Tal was organizing a line of stormtroopers for a rush at the wall. Ben glanced at Jai and motioned to the barrier.

"You ready?"

"Whenever they are," Jai said, jerking his chin over his shoulder toward the troops.

As they spoke, Tal finished his instructions and made a run for them, dodging blaster fire as he did.

"Now!" the Captain shouted.

Ben nodded and flung out an arm toward the wall as he wrenched at the Force. At his side, Jai did the same. With a sound like small thunder, it blew backwards in pieces, dust rising as the masonry crumbled to the ground. Tal shouted an order and the troopers began to pour fire into the breach.

Ben vaulted the rubble, his saber lit and Jai at his back. The knight's teeth were bared in a fierce snarl; an expression Ben hadn't seen for a long time. Not since their days as younglings, training under Snoke's scheming eyes. The grimace drew other memories up from the depths of his mind. Unwanted memories he'd locked there so many years ago: memories of screams and the crimson light of his saber flickering across the destruction he'd wrought-

The hiss of a blaster bolt next to his ear brought him fully back to the present. He threw himself sideways, out of the line of fire, before righting himself and rushing headlong into the battle. The Resistance forces were backing towards the ships, blasters raised and firing so that he had to weave to avoid death. The rising scream of the engines of the ships pierced his ears and he slid to a halt; hands instinctively thrust out before him. He couldn't let them escape.

One of the ship's engines sputtered and died with a high shriek and another's imploded as Ben twisted on the Force around him. Lightning branched from his fingertips to flash across the surface of a third ship, arching out toward the ground and killing several of the Resistance unlucky enough to be in its path. Sparks flew from the electronics, destroying any hope the ship had of taking off.

It was worth the pain. If it meant that his younglings were safe for one day more, it was worth it-

With a gasp, the lightning vanished, leaving behind air that smelled sharp and burned the inside of Ben's nose. He fell to one knee, the pain overtaking him. The noise of battle still went on around him, but it seemed vague and somehow far away. He was separated from it as though he were seeing it all through a veil.

And suddenly, he felt her. She wasn't visible, but her presence had returned; the familiar and comforting pressure in his mind. He breathed again, coming back to himself. Fire licked the metal skins of the transport vessels, tarnishing the shining silver and sending clouds of thick black smoke billowing over the ground. The remaining Resistance forces staggered about, coughing and blind in the thick air. Several stormtroopers rushed past him, quickly subduing them.

Ben got to his feet again, staring about at the destruction. Jai was in the thick of it, as he always was, helping the troopers bind the hands of the captives and barking commands as they ran into and out of the transports, searching for hidden enemies. Ben flexed his fingers, twitching them towards the saber he'd dropped as the lightning built around him. He clipped it to his belt and strode toward the kneeling prisoners. They cowered away from him, cringing as his shadow fell across them. He didn't look at them. He couldn't. He saw his mother in them. The same spark of hope that they could be free. Wasn't it the same ember that glowed in his own chest?

"Take them back to the _Finalizer_ ," he said. "I'll perform the interrogations myself."

"But there's more than twenty-" began Tal.

"Just do it, trooper," Ben shouted, his temper finally flaring with a sudden bone deep weariness.

Tal flinched, but dipped his head in acknowledgment before he signaled his troops to drag the captives to their feet. Ben was watching them filing away through the debris, trying to find the rage that would silence his misgivings, when he felt Rey again. Closer this time.

"Kylo!" Jai barked, just as a creeping feeling of dread seized Ben and tugged him away from the bond.

Rey's presence faded inside his head and he spun, saber drawn, just in time to see a dark shadow disappearing behind a pile of rubble. Something about it sent a cold shiver down his spine. There was a danger here that he couldn't name.

Somewhere out in the darkness, something snarled and there was a snapping noise and a yelp. Ben tracked the sound, taking a better grip on his saber. Jai edged closer to him, his weapon flaring to life as he took up a position at Ben's back.

"What was that?"

"I don't know," Jai said. "But I can guess, and I don't like it."

They stood still, peering through the smoke. Silence reigned, the noise of the troopers having drawn away. Tal was gone. The space around them was empty. There was another low growl and Ben saw reflected light glittering in several pairs of eyes. Slowly, dark sinuous bodies crept out of the shadows, the strange creatures winding nearer. Long tails lashed their bodies, and sharp teeth glinted, exposed in an eerie grin.

"It's those animals I was telling you about," Jai muttered. "The ones that the Resistance kept at the fathier track."

Ben glanced to his right, only to see more of the beasts creeping forward.

There was something about the creatures, something more than the simple signature in the Force that all living things possessed. It was different. Uncanny. Almost human. Ben thought he knew now what the boy from the sewers meant when he'd spoken of monsters.

Ben drew on the Force, readying himself to strike, and the growls of the animals pitched lower. Their heads swung toward him and they crouched, ready to spring. Ben felt the collective malice of those gleaming red eyes as an almost physical blow. He backed up a step, bumping Jai's shoulders.

"I see what you meant when you said you'd hate to meet one of these without a weapon."

Jai didn't have a chance to reply before a few of the gathering animals lunged forward from the pack, their tails striking out before them. Ben swung, severing the appendages with a quick backhanded stroke before he managed to stab one between the forelegs. The creature yelped and went limp, falling to the ground. The rest fell back, snarling and snapping at one another.

Ben brandished his saber at them, ready for another attack. They circled, teeth bared and coarse brown fur bristling along their backbones. He caught the next animal as it leapt, slicing it into two pieces. Behind him, Jai grunted as he killed another. The animals began to grow wary, their long ears laid flat against their heads, and their lips pulling back tighter over bared teeth. Their tails whipped through the air above them, coiling and twisting like snakes as they stalked just out of reach.

Without waiting for the next lunge, Jai thrust out a hand. Ben felt a ripple run through the Force as the circling creatures were thrown backwards into the piles of rubble. A few got to their feet again. Most did not. Ben reached for the Force, the familiar burning pain of the lightning traveling down his arms toward his fingers. The remaining animals cringed away, growling, before turning and running off into the night. The blue sparks died in Ben's hand and the deep shadows closed in once again.

Jai let out a low whistle and stepped forward to nudge one of the bodies with his foot. Ben focused on keeping himself standing upright. The adrenaline was draining away again, leaving him feeling shaky and unstable on his feet.

"I'm taking one of these things to Decha," Jai said. "I want to know what they are."

Ben looked around at the dead animals lying at their feet and nodded.

"Let me know what you find out. Anything we can discover about them could help us."

Jai bent closer to examine the animal's paws before lifting the limp body and slinging it over one of his shoulders as he turned to Ben.

"This is where I leave you, old friend. Comm if you need me. We're all on standby."

"I have Rey."

"And she's strong, but she's as tired as you are. Don't wait until it's too late to ask for help. You've always been that way, Kylo. Don't make the same mistake again."

"What do you know of my mistakes?" Ben snapped, his irritation getting the better of him.

Something like anger flickered through Jai's expression.

"I know it because it's the same mistake I made," he said, his voice low and full of his pain. "You aren't the only one Snoke took captive, Kylo. Remember that."

The knight turned and walked away into the darkness, leaving Ben alone to regret his words.

...

The transport rocked and shuddered as it left Cantonica's atmosphere, and Ben was glad when the ship's movement smoothed in the stillness of space. Jai had gone long before it took off. He'd seen the knight's TIE screaming over the city on its way to Corann and Decha's ship. Around him, Tal and his soldiers spoke in quiet voices, their exhaustion subduing the exuberance of victory. It had been a battle hard-won, and fewer were returning than had fought.

Ben closed his eyes and rested his head against the wall behind him. Sleep called to him, but something held him back. The bond had opened again, and Rey's fear and confusion had come crashing through into his mind. Her nervous energy puzzled him. He could tell she wasn't in danger, but something had her on edge, and no matter how hard he tried she wouldn't let him in to see what was bothering her.

The floor beneath him canted as the pilot guided the ship through the mag-con field and into the hangar. The ramp lowered and Ben disembarked among a crowd of troopers with Tal at his side. As soon as he was free of the ship's confines, Tal removed his helmet, pulling in a deep breath. Ben smiled at the relief on the man's face.

"Good to breathe free?" he asked.

"More than you know," Tal said, then winced when he realized what he'd said.

"It's alright," said Ben, chuckling. "I know what you mean."

His laughter died as the bond tugged at him and he caught sight of a dark figure with the corner of his eyes. He turned to see Rey weaving her way through the crowd toward him. Her hair was loose about her shoulders and she held herself stiffly, arms crossed tight over her stomach. She looked utterly lost, the entirety of her being betraying the exhaustion that seemed to have only grown since he'd last seen her.

She stopped a few feet from him, fingers twisting the cloth band at her wrist. When he took a step toward her, she backed up, fear streaking across her face. The movement unsettled him. What had happened to her? In the space of a few hours she'd grown afraid of him again, as she had been at the very beginning. Carefully, he extended his hand to her. She didn't take it, but she didn't retreat either.

"What's wrong, Rey?" he asked, opening his mind to her to allow her thoughts in.

But Rey held the door closed against him. He could sense nothing but the hazy swirl of emotion that hid her thoughts from him better than any fog.

"Not here," she whispered, her face paling as she shook her head, her eyes going to Tal.

Ben glanced around him. More transports were arriving, releasing hundreds of stormtroopers into the hangar to swarm around them. He realized, belatedly, that they were standing in the middle of a crowd. For a reason he could not name, it made him uneasy. Something inside was screaming for him to move- to get out from under the thousands of eyes.

"Alright," he said, the restless anxiety only growing as he began to guide Rey away.

The sense of alarm increased even as they moved, and Ben found himself scanning the hangar bay, angling his body just slightly to shield Rey's exposed back. She seemed to be feeling the same apprehension, moving like a hunted animal, arms shielding herself. He was just about to ask her what she was sensing when she went rigid. A cold terror rushed through him in the same moment.

 _Something was wrong._

It was the last warning Ben had before his world dissolved into madness and pain.


End file.
